How did you start?

Lounge By anaelisabethlee Updated 5 Sep 2013 , 1:05am by SystemMod2

CakeDays Posted 4 Sep 2013 , 8:39am
post #151 of 159

Edit: Dad had a weak heart not 'week'. 

While some of that was scary in the link, quite a lot gave me a laugh. Especially Australia :) I got asked by so many people in L.A if there was kangaroos everywhere. 

embersmom Posted 4 Sep 2013 , 1:33pm
post #152 of 159

Quote:

Originally Posted by CakeDays 
 

Howsweet: Lots of hugs, that is absolutely terrible that you and your poor Mum had to both go through that. I've seen the best and worse with care facilities. My Nan had awesome care, while my Dad ended up with septicemia and passed just weeks later. It took two days for the facility to get him admitted to hospital, where every minute makes a difference with that infection.

Embersmom: Hugs for you as well :)

So far I have a 'yes' from the local police station and I just had the idea to ring the care facility my Nan was in, because we brought in a Birthday cake for her that we had made without any problems.

:HUGS:

 

Did your dad have a bladder infection from hell?  My maternal uncle did.  They couldn't give him stronger antibiotics without compromising something-or-other (which I don't remember at the moment), so the infection went haywire, he got septicemia, and his organs shut down.  My aunt had a DNR on him.  The one major comfort for my aunt was that he was already in a coma when he passed.

howsweet Posted 4 Sep 2013 , 4:42pm
post #153 of 159
Quote:
Originally Posted by CakeDays 
 

Howsweet: Dad had a kidney infection which they didn't pick up on and it led to the septicaemia. We knew he wouldn't recover from it, he was already on dialysis and had a week heart. You would think they would be more vigilant with him already having a compromised system, but apparently not.

I am with you on creating change, because quite a lot needs to change. No, I don't think people know how bad it can be unless they themselves have had someone they love in that situation. You think professionals would be more... Better left unsaid I think. Before Dad had gotten septicaemia I never knew just how common and deadly an infection it was. Just horrible.

I'm so sorry this happened to your family.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jason_kraft 

Re assisted living, I just read a relevant post on Quora by someone who oversees these types of facilities (link below). Scary stuff.

http://qr.ae/IfHWQ

I read that and the end was very telling about how the person had to find a different job - what kind of people does it leave in the industry?  There's no way for employees to fight these companies because they follow the line of the law and when they don't, they lie and cheat.

 

About a month after my mom finally passed on, I tried to get a hospice nurse in trouble for literally lying in the notes and lying to me about what she should be doing for my mom. Her motivation was wanting to sit down and read rather than take care of my mom. Because I'd been dealing with this stuff for years, by that time I knew the difference between good and bad care and I kicked this lady out of my house. My mistake was letting her go write in the notes when she went to get her things. The subsequent nurses for those last few days were wonderful.

 

But I tried to get this reported because it broke my heart to think she was going into other homes and doing this sort of thing. Letting my mom suffer, so she could read her stupid book.

 

But nothing was done because what she wrote down was considered gospel. No one would touch it because it was in the notes.

 

This isn't the place, and who wants to hear it anyway, but I could tell things that you literally wouldn't believe. And that's the other reason I don't tell them.

hbquikcomjamesl Posted 4 Sep 2013 , 4:57pm
post #154 of 159

Thankfully, not all assisted living facilities are like that. My last surviving grandparent, my dad's mother, is in one in North Dakota, that is (or was until recently) run by the Good Samaritan Society, a wing of the ELCA Lutherans. And a few months ago, she turned 101. At her age, every few months, something happens that makes us wonder whether she will make it to another birthday, but between the staff, and her stepdaughter, they all get nipped in the proverbial bud, and soon enough, she's fine again.

 

The past two Christmases, I've sent her cookies.

howsweet Posted 4 Sep 2013 , 5:25pm
post #155 of 159

That's good to hear, but it's not typical. Can she speak for herself? That makes a big difference. My mother couldn't talk for the last three years and medical people are inclined toward not listening to the family. Even if that family member is the sole caregiver 24/7.

hbquikcomjamesl Posted 4 Sep 2013 , 7:48pm
post #156 of 159

Actually, though she's almost totally blind, and a bit hard of hearing, she's one of the most lucid people there. Which makes her very popular with the staff.

CakeDays Posted 4 Sep 2013 , 10:29pm
post #157 of 159

Hugs for anyone who has had to go through something like this. It is good to know that there are wonderful places out there and wonderful carers. Except there shouldn't be just SOME wonderful places! Every facility and every carer should be wonderful. Makes me sad and angry. 

manicgeisha Posted 4 Sep 2013 , 11:37pm
post #158 of 159

Quote:

Originally Posted by CakeDays 
 

Hugs for anyone who has had to go through something like this. It is good to know that there are wonderful places out there and wonderful carers. Except there shouldn't be just SOME wonderful places! Every facility and every carer should be wonderful. Makes me sad and angry. 



I agree :(   Its so sad to hear.   

SystemMod2 Posted 5 Sep 2013 , 1:05am
post #159 of 159

Hi everyone. This topic has veered completely onto a non-cake-related topic, so I am moving it into the Lounge so that you may all continue it in there.

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