Snowflakebunny23 Posted 25 Jul 2013 , 8:33am
post #1 of

So, I was watching a rerun of Cake Boss this morning and watched (jaw dropped) as the bride walked into the bakery and, after apparently hating her cake, took the surrounding piping bags and largely trashed it!!

 

Thinking about it more, it all seemed to stem from the fact that at the consultation, both the Bride and her Mother had totally different wants for the wedding cake.  So my question is, has anyone ever dealt with this situation before and how did you manage it?  I'd want to personally give the bride what she wants - it's her day - but it gets more awkward if mum is paying for the cake as well.  Thus far, I've only dealt with brides themselves and (touch wood), they have all been lovely but having seen this, I am planning for the worst in advance and would really appreciate some words of wisdom!

Many thanks! :-)

20 replies
Sweet_Cakes Posted 25 Jul 2013 , 10:29am
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Now I want to go home and watch that episode...did it play last night? I have been recording them this week...

 

I have the type of personality that I would tell the MOTB to hush and let the bride tell me what she wants to avoid this. But...again...I haven't been in business as of yet, so I really can't tell you for sure if that is what I would do in a professional setting.

Snowflakebunny23 Posted 25 Jul 2013 , 10:34am
post #3 of
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet_Cakes 

Now I want to go home and watch that episode...did it play last night? I have been recording them this week...

It was quite an old one way before they had the Factory...it aired last night here in the UK but we have lots of (old re-runs)...the title was "Biplane, Bridezilla, and Busting Buddy".  If you google it there are plenty of clips.  Thanks for the thoughts though...i would have a similar reaction personally!

Baking Sis Posted 25 Jul 2013 , 12:58pm
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I watched that episode on Netflix and was appalled that a grown woman could act that way!!  Maybe it was planned as part of the show dramatics?  I sure hope so...otherwise, I fear for her husband!  tapedshut.gif

therealmrsriley Posted 25 Jul 2013 , 1:15pm
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I really hope that episode was faked. They rarely allow customers in the back, but they allowed her and of all the things in there she knew just where the piping bags were to trash the cake. I couldn't believe what I was watching! And then her attitude towards Buddy when they delivered the cake. I really hope those were actors, because that was awful.

 

I would say to honor the bride. Like many have said, it's her special day and the cake will forever be tied to the special day. I can imagine it's pretty awkward to have to deal with both of them when their wishes aren't the same.

CakeRae80 Posted 25 Jul 2013 , 1:27pm
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That's horrible, I want to watch that episode now!!!  My mom was MIA when I got married the first time (I'm remarried now), she just didn't want anything to do with my wedding at all. My soon to be MIL stepped up and helped go with me for planning.  I wanted this cake that was 4 tiers, but they weren't stacked, they were each on their own pedestal. They were each done in a basket weave design and were supposed to have flowers on the top of each of them. My soon to be groom & I were paying for everything and I didn't have the money for the flowers on the top, so I was just going to let it go.  The picture of the cake I had disappeared and it made me upset. When I walked into the reception hall there was my cake with all the flowers like the picture.  My MIL took the picture and went to the florist and told him she needed those flowers just that way for the cake.  It was great!

cupadeecakes Posted 25 Jul 2013 , 1:50pm
post #7 of
Quote:
Originally Posted by therealmrsriley 

I really hope that episode was faked. They rarely allow customers in the back, but they allowed her and of all the things in there she knew just where the piping bags were to trash the cake. I couldn't believe what I was watching! And then her attitude towards Buddy when they delivered the cake. I really hope those were actors, because that was awful.

 

In one of the classes I took, the teacher, who knows Buddy personally, said that this episode (as are most of his) was scripted.  They also said that the episode where his staff dropped the cake down the stairs was scripted also.  Never believe anything you see on "reality" TV.

kikiandkyle Posted 25 Jul 2013 , 1:56pm
post #8 of

A

Original message sent by CakeRae80

That's horrible, I want to watch that episode now!!!  My mom was MIA when I got married the first time (I'm remarried now), she just didn't want anything to do with my wedding at all. My soon to be MIL stepped up and helped go with me for planning.  I wanted this cake that was 4 tiers, but they weren't stacked, they were each on their own pedestal. They were each done in a basket weave design and were supposed to have flowers on the top of each of them. My soon to be groom & I were paying for everything and I didn't have the money for the flowers on the top, so I was just going to let it go.  The picture of the cake I had disappeared and it made me upset. When I walked into the reception hall there was my cake with all the flowers like the picture.  My MIL took the picture and went to the florist and told him she needed those flowers just that way for the cake.  It was great!

What a sweet MIL, I hope she stayed as nice!

CakeRae80 Posted 25 Jul 2013 , 2:55pm
post #9 of
Quote:
Originally Posted by kikiandkyle 


What a sweet MIL, I hope she stayed as nice!


She did and even though her son and I are divorced, so still helps me and my new husband with the kids when we need it.  She'll call me at work and home and talk to me about the kids and then other conversations start and before you know it we've talked for a half hour to 45 mins.

therealmrsriley Posted 25 Jul 2013 , 3:00pm

@ Cupadee I figured most of the "hijinks" were scripted and I just KNEW that episode where the cake fell down the steps was fake!! But I have to say the show wasn't the same for me after the bride and mother of the bride fiasco. It was painfully obvious how fake it was.

Annabakescakes Posted 25 Jul 2013 , 3:12pm

When I saw that episode, was when I realized the whole show was faked. I never saw the one where the cake fell down the stairs, or I might have noticed then. I have several seasons of it in my queue, on Netflix, but no desire to watch them, at all. 

 

I would love a reality show about cakes that is more reality, but how boring, right? I think "Fabulous Cakes" is as good as it gets, since they also show prices. 

cupadeecakes Posted 25 Jul 2013 , 3:54pm

I still miss Ace of Cakes, it was my all-time favorite!  Great cakes, little to no drama, and no one mean pranks!  And I think I actually learned something from watching the shows; it was just neat to see how *they* did stuff!
 

costumeczar Posted 25 Jul 2013 , 7:47pm

I read the bride's blog that said that was setup. And I figured the stair-drop was too, because wow, they seem to have a freight elevator to take cakes downstairs...As far as the bride vs the MOB goes, I side with the bride, but you have to handle the MOB carefully. If the MOB calls me with any detials I'll contact the bride and confirm. If they're having a problem then they can work it out, but I'll do what the bride tells me in the long run. I've had MOBs try to chnge things without telling the bride, so it can get tricky.

TheSugarLab Posted 25 Jul 2013 , 8:35pm

The episode where the cake falls down makes me upset, mainly because they make it seem like they can remake a cake quickly. If I were to drop a cake right before delivery, I would probably freak out and cry and then yell and cry some more. My mom/business partner would probably have to be the one to call and say something happened. That all of their money would be returned and they would get cupcakes. OH I don't even want to think about. 

 

Onto the topic at hand. I've only had the MOB present at two tastings. One was there for the fun of it-her daughter was a wedding planner and knew exactly what she wanted. She also happened to be my sorority sister so we already knew each other. The second MOB was more vocal about what she wanted. It didn't differ that much but it was enough to confuse the bride about what she wanted. I looked at the bride directly (MOB was sitting across from her) and said politely that it was her wedding and she should get what she and her fiance wanted. I don't worry about any MOB (or any other family member for that matter) changing anything because it specifically says in my contract that only the bride (or whoever orders the cake, I had a groom down as my client once) can make changes. One bride was very happy that many of her vendors had that clause in their contracts since she had a "crazy stepfamily". 

Annabakescakes Posted 25 Jul 2013 , 9:06pm

I had a cake in june that I adored, that the MOB and I designed. The bride didn't bother to show up for the tasting and consultation, because she was overwhelmed and hormonal, due to a pregnancy. I have posted it 3 times lately, but why not a 4th? lol (I actually would've changed the whole thing, if the bride would have contacted me, but she didn't.)

Snowflakebunny23 Posted 26 Jul 2013 , 10:15am

Thanks for the comments everyone!  I was kind of hoping it was faked but sadly, after seeing the way some people treat staff in shops, I don't think it's outside the bounds of reason :-( And the cake down the stairs...I would have cried a lot as well.  I swear I am a few hairs greyer after every delivery!

 

Thank you all for the comments re dealing with MOBs as well.


Originally Posted by costumeczar 

If the MOB calls me with any detials I'll contact the bride and confirm. If they're having a problem then they can work it out, but I'll do what the bride tells me in the long run. I've had MOBs try to chnge things without telling the bride, so it can get tricky.

Have you found a 'politically sensitive' way of saying this?  Something like, "Hi there, your Mum has just contacted me with some changes about your cake - I just wanted to make sure with you that everyone is on the same page?"...would that work?  I'd hate to think I was going behind someones' back.

 

 

Originally Posted by TheSugarLab 
I don't worry about any MOB (or any other family member for that matter) changing anything because it specifically says in my contract that only the bride (or whoever orders the cake, I had a groom down as my client once) can make changes. One bride was very happy that many of her vendors had that clause in their contracts since she had a "crazy stepfamily". 

That is a brilliant idea!  About to amend my contract!  Do you accept changes verbally or do you only take them in writing?

 

It's a strange co-incidence - i was talking with a friend yesterday whose Mum made her wedding cake.  it was a stunning 5/6-tier with a cascade of roses and flowers - hours and hours of delicate work.  But mum 'surprised' her by adding a little figurine of her playing netball on the side which while thoughtful, spoiled it a bit for her as it was so out of place (our team dresses are black...doesn't sit well on an ivory cake!)

 

Thanks again all :-D

costumeczar Posted 26 Jul 2013 , 11:25am

A

Original message sent by Snowflakebunny23

Thanks for the comments everyone!  I was kind of hoping it was faked but sadly, after seeing the way some people treat staff in shops, I don't think it's outside the bounds of reason :-( And the cake down the stairs...I would have cried a lot as well.  I swear I am a few hairs greyer after every delivery!

Thank you all for the comments re dealing with MOBs as well. Have you found a 'politically sensitive' way of saying this?  Something like, "Hi there, your Mum has just contacted me with some changes about your cake - I just wanted to make sure with you that everyone is on the same page?"...would that work?  I'd hate to think I was going behind someones' back. That is a brilliant idea!  About to amend my contract!  Do you accept changes verbally or do you only take them in writing?

It's a strange co-incidence - i was talking with a friend yesterday whose Mum made her wedding cake.  it was a stunning 5/6-tier with a cascade of roses and flowers - hours and hours of delicate work.  But mum 'surprised' her by adding a little figurine of her playing netball on the side which while thoughtful, spoiled it a bit for her as it was so out of place (our team dresses are black...doesn't sit well on an ivory cake!)

Thanks again all :-D

I do have a clause in my contract that says only the bride and groom can change anything, regardless of who pays for it. If a MOB called me to change something It would depend on the situation. I've had MOBs who handled the whole thing, and the bride didn't care, so in that case I wouldn't bother. But if the bride had arranged things and the MOB called to change something I would cll the bride and say, for example, "i just want to double check on the new design that your mom called about today. Did you want the cake to be purple with orange dots, or vice-versa?" That way she can freak out on her mom if she had to, and she would probably call me and say not to change anything, at which point I would say "that's why I called to check."

BatterUpCake Posted 26 Jul 2013 , 12:06pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by CakeRae80 

That's horrible, I want to watch that episode now!!!  My mom was MIA when I got married the first time (I'm remarried now), she just didn't want anything to do with my wedding at all. My soon to be MIL stepped up and helped go with me for planning.  I wanted this cake that was 4 tiers, but they weren't stacked, they were each on their own pedestal. They were each done in a basket weave design and were supposed to have flowers on the top of each of them. My soon to be groom & I were paying for everything and I didn't have the money for the flowers on the top, so I was just going to let it go.  The picture of the cake I had disappeared and it made me upset. When I walked into the reception hall there was my cake with all the flowers like the picture.  My MIL took the picture and went to the florist and told him she needed those flowers just that way for the cake.  It was great!

Awww...that gave me warm fuzzies...I would have cried.

BatterUpCake Posted 26 Jul 2013 , 12:14pm

"Have you found a 'politically sensitive' way of saying this?  Something like, "Hi there, your Mum has just contacted me with some changes about your cake - I just wanted to make sure with you that everyone is on the same page?"...would that work?  I'd hate to think I was going behind someones' back."

 

How about "Have you found a 'politically sensitive' way of saying this?  Something like, "Hi there, your Mum has just contacted me with some changes about your cake -all changes must be in writing and signed. Would you like for me to fax you the change or form or would you like to stop by the shop to sign it?"

DeliciousDesserts Posted 26 Jul 2013 , 1:32pm

A"Dear Bride, I just spoke with Mrs. Mother who relayed some of the changes you would like to make. I have attached a copy of the revised sketch. Please let me know if this is what you had in mind. "

jmt1714 Posted 27 Jul 2013 , 7:43pm

AYour changes should be approved by whomever signs your contract. If it the bride, then the bride. If MOB, then MOB. If you do something the bride wants but contract is with MOB you can get burned.

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