MissMona Posted 16 May 2013 , 3:46pm
post #1 of

I feel so angry, hurt and stupid right now!  Totally mad at me!

I had a lady call me last month asking me to make the gp flowers for her wedding cake. I should have seen the red flags, but that aside, I didn't get payment up front.  That is totally my fault.  I am so busy right now, with teaching, bridal consults and orders....and a tiny bit of a life rushing by me....I just worked and didn't realize I didn't have payment.  

She is making her own wedding cake which is a giant cupcake on top of a stand holding 54 cupcakes. She asked me to make a black calla lilly spray (like on GSA) and 80+ assorted black and white daisies.  

She tried to send me a link to what she wanted through Facebook, so she added me as a friend.  When the flowers were finished (three days earlier than promised) I sent her a message on fb, it showed "Seen @ ??:??" but she didn't reply.  On friday I tried calling her and got a machine and explained that her flowers were ready and to call me to arrange pick up.  On sunday I sent her a fb message asking if everything was okay since I hadn't heard from her and asking if she still wanted them, to please just let me know if she didn't.  Finally monday evening I told her that they were at the store, directions and store hours.  I figure if there's ANY chance she actually wants them she has a week to get them...but I'm done trying to contact her.  Her wedding is in two days.  

I just needed to vent.  I know I screwed up, but why do people need to be so cruel?  Isn't it bad enough to ask me to make them and then not want them?  To not cancel?  But then at least have the balls to tell me you don't want them!  Ugh.....it's been awhile since anything like this has happened, I don't think I will forget to check on payment again.  icon_confused.gif

36 replies
VicB213 Posted 16 May 2013 , 3:59pm
post #2 of

So sorry this happened to you... Is there any way that you could use them for something else so it is not an entire loss??

jason_kraft Posted 16 May 2013 , 4:03pm
post #3 of

AAssuming you sent her an invoice or contract, you can let her know that her payment is due. If you still don't hear back, contact her again (by phone, don't conduct business via FB messages) and set a deadline after which you will be forced to hire a collection agency to collect her unpaid balance, regardless of whether or not she picks up the order. An in-person visit to her home might help speed things along if it's convenient.

MissMona Posted 16 May 2013 , 4:09pm
post #4 of

Jason, are you for hire?  ;)  LOL, I'd really enjoy having you around!  I think I was too busy to take this order.  I had time to create the flowers, but I didn't take the time to do the business of the order.  I made notes while I was on the phone with her and then made the flowers.  Period.  It's a very busy time and I just didn't pay attention like I should have.  She was referred by someone I trust and although that means nothing, somehow it did at that moment.  Now the someone I trust feels terrible too.  Ugh!  I'll just sell them at the store.  Surely someone will need black flowers???  LOL

AZCouture Posted 16 May 2013 , 4:30pm
post #5 of

It's just the way people are evolving, I'm afraid. It's useless for us to wonder and take it to heart. Unfortunately, a lot of people are just selfish and self centered, but they don't realize it. So I make policies, and refuse to do work without payment, and leave emotion out of it. I don't allow the hurt to happen. So...next time, eh? Don't feel bad. Sock 'em away in storage for someone who will THROW their money at you for them. Forget this dodo head.

AZCouture Posted 16 May 2013 , 4:32pm
post #6 of
Quote:
Originally Posted by jason_kraft 

Assuming you sent her an invoice or contract, you can let her know that her payment is due. If you still don't hear back, contact her again (by phone, don't conduct business via FB messages) and set a deadline after which you will be forced to hire a collection agency to collect her unpaid balance, regardless of whether or not she picks up the order. An in-person visit to her home might help speed things along if it's convenient.

Sorry, but this person is absolutely not held liable for payment. I'd be spitting pissed and want to MAKE her pay, but who held her to her end of the bargain? No one. Unless there is a contract that hasn't been mentioned.

Godot Posted 16 May 2013 , 4:36pm
post #7 of

AIf I were you, I'd be swinging by her house on my way home from work and shoving those flowers up her @$$ (sideways, even).

jgifford Posted 16 May 2013 , 4:56pm
post #8 of
Quote:
Originally Posted by Godot 

If I were you, I'd be swinging by her house on my way home from work and shoving those flowers up her @$$ (sideways, even).

 

 

I love this!  Seriously, though, you have a stock of beautiful black and white flowers which are oh so popular right now.  You shouldn't have any trouble selling them or you can save them for a future cake when you just don't have time to make the flowers.  I understand your frustration; unfortunately, our learning experiences are rarely fun.

Apti Posted 16 May 2013 , 5:04pm
post #9 of
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissMona 

... I think I was too busy to take this order.  I had time to create the flowers, but I didn't take the time to do the business of the order.  I made notes while I was on the phone with her and then made the flowers.  Period.  It's a very busy time and I just didn't pay attention like I should have.  She was referred by someone I trust and although that means nothing, somehow it did at that moment.  Now the someone I trust feels terrible too.  Ugh!  I'll just sell them at the store.  Surely someone will need black flowers???  LOL

 

Once you are through venting (which may take a while, lol), look at this from a different perspective:  It was a valuable lesson which you won't soon forget.  Once you've been "used", it really kicks the "business side" of your brain into high gear.  Fortunately, you are left with product that does have the potential for eventual sale.  Sounds like you are mostly mad at yourself for doing this without "paying attention like I should have".  So....give yourself a scolding, and then let it go.   Make a Goth cake for display or a charitable fundraiser.  Hold them until you have a Halloween wedding.  Make a black and white cake.  (((Hugs)))) and have a positive, upbeat, happy day today!

jason_kraft Posted 16 May 2013 , 5:47pm

A

Original message sent by AZCouture

Sorry, but this person is absolutely not held liable for payment. I'd be spitting pissed and want to MAKE her pay, but who held her to her end of the bargain? No one. Unless there is a contract that hasn't been mentioned.

Correct, if OP did not send an invoice or contract when the order was placed there's not much she can do about it.

CWR41 Posted 16 May 2013 , 6:09pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissMona 
...but I'm done trying to contact her.  Her wedding is in two days. 

Wait until she contacts you -- she still has 2 days.

jason_kraft Posted 16 May 2013 , 6:36pm

AAlternatively, you can show up at the wedding venue with the flowers and a payable invoice in hand.

AZCouture Posted 16 May 2013 , 6:39pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by jason_kraft 

Alternatively, you can show up at the wedding venue with the flowers and a payable invoice in hand.

That sounds awesome too!icon_twisted.gif

MissMona Posted 17 May 2013 , 1:34am

I honestly had thought about that too! I want to know what the cake looks like anyway!  I would love to show up at the wedding. :)  But, I won't.  I know it's my oversight and I'll put my big girl panties on and not soon forget the lesson.  And no, there was no contract, it was just a quick phone call, referral from a good friend and I didn't think beyond that.  I was super busy when she called, blah, blah, blah.  I've come down with shingles night before last so I am a mess anyway....in pain and all that junk.  I'm sure that's not helping me cope with being stood up.  And I don't care who does it to you or how old you get to be, being stood up hurts!  I've given myself permission to be hurt....I'm tired of putting on the smile and being professional all the time!  I'm hurt!  icon_sad.gif  It's getting better though.  You know how it is...they call and you are so super awesome and they don't want anything but your work and then this mess.  ugh!  

MissMona Posted 17 May 2013 , 1:44am

Oh, and I need to add, thank you  No matter what I messed up and learned, the point was to get it off my chest and share with understand people....y'all made me feel better!  The sideways comment made me LOL, as did the showing up at her wedding and hunting her down.  icon_cry.gif  Thanks so much!!!!!!

Norasmom Posted 17 May 2013 , 1:50am

That's awful. I am sorry you have shingles.   You never know though, she may contact you right before her wedding.  if she's making her own cake she might be super stressed out right now and planning to call you right at the last minute when the flowers go on.  Thinking about all that goes into a wedding, making a cake on top of all that, she may just be waiting to call until the day of. 

 

I know I could not have made my own wedding cake without vomiting from stress...

jennicake Posted 17 May 2013 , 3:24am
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissMona 

I honestly had thought about that too! I want to know what the cake looks like anyway!  I would love to show up at the wedding. :)  But, I won't.  I know it's my oversight and I'll put my big girl panties on and not soon forget the lesson.  And no, there was no contract, it was just a quick phone call, referral from a good friend and I didn't think beyond that.  I was super busy when she called, blah, blah, blah.  I've come down with shingles night before last so I am a mess anyway....in pain and all that junk.  I'm sure that's not helping me cope with being stood up.  And I don't care who does it to you or how old you get to be, being stood up hurts!  I've given myself permission to be hurt....I'm tired of putting on the smile and being professional all the time!  I'm hurt!  icon_sad.gif  It's getting better though.  You know how it is...they call and you are so super awesome and they don't want anything but your work and then this mess.  ugh!  

I hope you feel better soon!  I had shingles recently too, and totally feel your pain.  Hope you made it to the doctor in time to get the meds!  Cuts recovery time down quite a bit :)

MsNeuropil Posted 17 May 2013 , 4:36am

I have to butt in here because I worry that you might be preparing food items for others while lesions are still open and the virus is being shedded. 

 

Being an old RN...I know that when patients did come in during a shingles outbreak we did use universal precautions for ourselves such as gloves and gowns whenever we handled even sheets and pillows or gowns  the patient wore.  Although I had immunization due to my childhood chicken pox, I did not want to risk shedded virus on my person getting dropped onto another patient who might not have had chicken pox as a child.  It would be considered a "contact" risk more than a risk of ingestion...but why take chances that your client might not know these issues and decide it was your product that made them sick. 

 

Please be aware that you can give "chicken pox" to others who are not immunized...I know that sounds strange...but shingles comes from a chicken pox infection that you had when young and it laid dormant for decades and in later years it erupts again as shingles.

 

When shingles develops, the virus also is often present in that person's saliva, so theoretically it could be transmitted by kissing, but we don't know how often this happens.

 

Personally I'd think you would be too miserable to continue with orders for a bit...but I'm sure it would be hard to explain it to your clients why.

 

Is it possible your "client" on FB saw a reference to your outbreak of shingles?  I know I wouldn't want an order from someone with a shingles outbreak...even if I knew the risk to me was small.  I still wouldn't want to risk that the decorator with shingles might have been misdiagnosed and had something else.
 

MissMona Posted 17 May 2013 , 4:48am

While I completely understand your concerns, I did research myself and spoke with my doctor about this very thing.  I understand that someone would need to come into contact with the breakout in order to catch the virus and that I am only contagious while I am broke out.  Since the break out is on my hip (to be nice) I don't think anyone is going to come into contact with it, unless it's through a public toilet, in which case I am serious about seat covers or paper to cover the seat, for myself as much as others.  Since I am not touching the area AT ALL, I don't think there is any risk.  

Also, I very seldom kiss my cakes.  LOL!  icon_lol.gif  No, not to worry, I wash like a mad woman, keep my hair covered, wear aprons or chef coats and gloves if I have any reason to worry, cuts or illness.  I promise, I won't cause an outbreak. 

As for the bride that won't respond to me.....her flowers were completed last tuesday evening, four days before I promised them to her.  I broke out with this rash this tuesday night.  So she had already been ignoring me for a week before I got "sick".  

MissMona Posted 17 May 2013 , 5:05am
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsNeuropil 

 

Personally I'd think you would be too miserable to continue with orders for a bit...but I'm sure it would be hard to explain it to your clients why.

 

Is it possible your "client" on FB saw a reference to your outbreak of shingles?  I know I wouldn't want an order from someone with a shingles outbreak...even if I knew the risk to me was small.  I still wouldn't want to risk that the decorator with shingles might have been misdiagnosed and had something else.
 

Wait, why would it be hard to explain to my clients why I couldn't continue with orders?  I'm confused and this is making me feel like I should be embarrassed by this.....am I missing something?  Should I be hiding this?  I mean, sure, let's not post to facebook for the world to see....but is this that horrible?

And just for the record, I haven't been working since the first signs tuesday evening.  My husband has done the baking and made the icing.  I'm on meds now and intend to complete orders.....but now I feel ashamed.

vgcea Posted 17 May 2013 , 5:54am

A

Original message sent by MissMona

Wait, why would it be hard to explain to my clients why I couldn't continue with orders?  I'm confused and this is making me feel like I should be embarrassed by this.....am I missing something?  Should I be hiding this?  I mean, sure, let's not post to facebook for the world to see....but is this that horrible? And just for the record, I haven't been working since the first signs tuesday evening.  [B]My husband has done the baking and made the icing[/B].  I'm on meds now and intend to complete orders.....but now I feel ashamed.

8O Does he have a brother?

annabananana Posted 20 May 2013 , 12:10am

A

Original message sent by MissMona

Wait, why would it be hard to explain to my clients why I couldn't continue with orders?  I'm confused and this is making me feel like I should be embarrassed by this.....am I missing something?  Should I be hiding this?  I mean, sure, let's not post to facebook for the world to see....but is this that horrible? And just for the record, I haven't been working since the first signs tuesday evening.  My husband has done the baking and made the icing.  I'm on meds now and intend to complete orders.....but now I feel ashamed.

Shingles is adlt chicken pox. Just say you have shingles. It is nothing to be ashamed of. I promise.

MissMona Posted 20 May 2013 , 2:36am

I didn't think it was either, and now I am sure it isn't.  I live in a pretty small town and everyone I did cakes for this weekend knew already and all expressed concern for me and sincere appreciation that I continued to work and made their cakes.  :)  Many told me stories of family members that suffer with it or episodes they've had themselves.  Thanks for the support...it all went pretty well.  I hope I never have to work that hard and feel that bad at the same time again, but I got through it.  :)  

MissMona Posted 20 May 2013 , 2:38am
Quote:
Originally Posted by vgcea 


icon_eek.gif Does he have a brother?

LOL!!!!  He does!  But, sadly, there isn't another just like him!  He's the best!  thumbs_up.gif

MissMona Posted 20 May 2013 , 2:41am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Norasmom 

That's awful. I am sorry you have shingles.   You never know though, she may contact you right before her wedding.  if she's making her own cake she might be super stressed out right now and planning to call you right at the last minute when the flowers go on.  Thinking about all that goes into a wedding, making a cake on top of all that, she may just be waiting to call until the day of. 

 

I know I could not have made my own wedding cake without vomiting from stress...

I still haven't heard a peep from her.  She's gotten on fb to announce that she is now married and completely happy.....but will not respond to me at all.  I'm not angry....I just cannot wrap my head around why you would completely ignore someone like this.  I couldn't have possibly done anything to her....  Strange.

Danilou Posted 20 May 2013 , 2:50am

That sux!! I hate being let down by ppl. I get upset over small stuff like when a bride doesn't return my cake board. Can we see a photo of your flowers? I'm sure they're gorgeous!

MsNeuropil Posted 20 May 2013 , 4:48am

No of course you should not be embarassed...shingles is just a part of getting older...LOL.  However, most folks don't completely understand this issue and can bad mouth your business using that as a reason to complain if there is some conflict....like they need any reason to get things cheaper.  After reading that forum topic about "Things to not say to a Baker" I can imagine folks can think strange things when it comes to cake and paying for it.

 

It is amazing to me how many people do not understand medical terms and come up with all sorts of reasons to not eat your food.  For example, I have CFIDS and Fibromyagia which causes a type of Hepatitis...and some folks (some family and an old boyfriend) have been reluctant to eat something I cook. I don't have the standard type of Hepatitis...and it isn't anything anyone can get...but still...folks generally get turned off by the idea of their baker baking their bread if they have Hepatitis.   Silly...but it happened to me within my own family.

 

Yes I know that theoritically CFIDS is catching via blood just like other illnesses but having CFIDS, HIV and many other illnesses do not prevent you from being a food handler, but a lot of folks would argue that point with you if you told them that.   My oldest son has a terrible dermatitis of his hands all pimply and red...which he can't hide.  It is scarey looking at times...and is somewhat understandable...folks stared at him as he served them food and a few commented on it.  Nothing to be embarassed about...but it can still cause some issues with the public if your serving them food.

 

I just know from my POV...I just cook for folks that are "OK" with the fact I am ill at the time...and avoid cooking for those who might  go blab to others that I fed them while I had "hepatitis".
 

MissMona Posted 20 May 2013 , 4:54am

I didn't photograph all the tiny flowers, although I certainly can, they are at the store.  

MissMona Posted 20 May 2013 , 4:55am

Oh, this is packaged in viva to go to the bride....maybe not the best photo.  :)  

MsNeuropil Posted 20 May 2013 , 4:56am

Just to clarify...I have Chronic Fatigue Immune Disorder and Fibromyalgia and an autoimmune disorder that causes arthritic symptoms as well problems with eyes and difficulty making tears and saliva.  As long as I can still swallow cake....I am OK...LOL. 

 

But it sucks that I can't eat cornbread or popcorn...so that gives me permission to eat cake instead. 

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