mkoteel Posted 23 Mar 2013 , 3:13am
post #1 of

I am curious to know how people in this business would say no to their relatives. I am not in this business but you know how relatives expect to get major concessions... if not free stuff. Just wondering!!!!

44 replies
Bakers Crush Posted 23 Mar 2013 , 3:20am
post #2 of

Alol i dont think you can!! You might just have to explain that you need to cover your material costs or labour if you have employees and give them a huge discount but not free.

mkoteel Posted 23 Mar 2013 , 3:30am
post #3 of
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bakers Crush 

lol i dont think you can!! You might just have to explain that you need to cover your material costs or labour if you have employees and give them a huge discount but not free.

Lol... Good to know. I was curious. But what if you are really busy and can't take it up. What do u do then?

Bakers Crush Posted 23 Mar 2013 , 3:46am
post #4 of

Ayour stuck either way. If you dont do it you gotta deal with all the chatter. they dont know that you really cant cause really shouldnt you make your family a priority. If it was me I would rather stay up all night rather than deal with the outcome of family fued. and think of it this way, maybe youll get more business from their party.

liz at sugar Posted 23 Mar 2013 , 4:00am
post #5 of

How about this line: "I only give discounts to people who gave birth to me, or people I gave birth to."  Shouldn't that cover everyone eligible for a discount?? :)  A friend suggested that line long ago to tell people who are fishing for a discount.  Actually works pretty well!

 

Liz

Bakers Crush Posted 23 Mar 2013 , 4:01am
post #6 of

Alol thats pretty funny

erin2345 Posted 23 Mar 2013 , 4:07am
post #7 of
Quote:
Originally Posted by liz at sugar 

How about this line: "I only give discounts to people who gave birth to me, or people I gave birth to."  Shouldn't that cover everyone eligible for a discount?? :)  A friend suggested that line long ago to tell people who are fishing for a discount.  Actually works pretty well!

 

Liz

lol - that is what I say too!

scrumdiddlycakes Posted 23 Mar 2013 , 4:14am
post #8 of

I just pretend to misunderstand, and let them think that I thought they were joking... laugh and say "I know you wouldn't actually ask me to do that!"

Sometimes I'll throw in a story about how someone expected me to make them a $500 cake for free, and pass up on a paying order, so in effect it would have cost me $1000.

 

That said, I have an awesome family, I've only ever had 3 instances where one of them sort of hinted at a discount, never asked for something for free.

However, people who are barely acquaintances ask rather often, and I use that tactic.

jason_kraft Posted 23 Mar 2013 , 4:21am
post #9 of

A

Original message sent by mkoteel

But what if you are really busy and can't take it up. What do u do then?

I would say "I'm really busy and can't make you a cake".

meriem Posted 23 Mar 2013 , 1:35pm

AThis. Simples :)

kikiandkyle Posted 23 Mar 2013 , 1:36pm

Move to another continent, works like a charm for me!

meriem Posted 23 Mar 2013 , 1:36pm

A

Original message sent by jason_kraft

I would say "I'm really busy and can't make you a cake".

This^ simples :)

LoveMeSomeCake615 Posted 23 Mar 2013 , 4:04pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by jason_kraft 


I would say "I'm really busy and can't make you a cake".

Yup. 

-K8memphis Posted 23 Mar 2013 , 5:40pm

all great stuff

 

and maybe eventually try & work something in there about how awesome it is for peeps to support your business

 

and what did they have in mind if you can twist it around in your favor

 

they probably won't book anything but they need to get the full picture

 

small businesses don't stay afloat by themselves

 

just a stray thought--and one other--

 

no i firmly believe you should not ever stay up all night for anyone's cake--get your sleep

 

you will need it eventually--don't short sheet your health for a stupid cake

 

if the baby's got a fever turn on the light and pull up a chair

 

for cake??? just no way none zero lost sleep imo

MimiFix Posted 23 Mar 2013 , 5:57pm

Jason is too business oriented, even when dealing with family. :)  I prefer to start out on a positive note: "I'd like to but I'm really busy and can't make you a cake."

Vista Posted 23 Mar 2013 , 6:49pm

I just turned down a cake for my grandmother.  She wanted a cake to feed 80 people, but wanted to pay $40 for it.  I suggested that she go to Wal-Mart or Harps.  Even if I don't have any cake orders, I am too busy to make a cake for nothing!  I don't necessarily tell them I won't do it, I just quote them a price, my normal prices.  If they want it they can pay me for it. 

-K8memphis Posted 23 Mar 2013 , 7:36pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by kikiandkyle 

Move to another continent, works like a charm for me!

 

worked like a charm too funny!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

know what? i like this story

 

at a family wedding a long time ago i promised my little grand nephew sure i'd do his & his sister's wedding cake

 

couple years ago sure enough she got married and i did her cake because i had promised him in a moment of weakness--who knew he'd remember ;)

 

traveled 2000 miles to do it at my sister's house--she was flat stinkin' amazed at the expense and the work

 

thank goodness she was out when i torted and filled--god i ruined her kitchen--my husband cleaned it up ♥♥♥

 

but she made me a collage of pictures of the endeavor--pretty cool--and srsly she was floored at the energy & planning & all

 

peeps don't get it and we should advise them

 

i have my grand nephew talked into a nice custom groom's cake for his wedding--someday icon_lol.gif 

 

family needs to support out business--not crush it or us in the process

costumeczar Posted 24 Mar 2013 , 3:24pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MimiFix 

Jason is too business oriented, even when dealing with family. :)  I prefer to start out on a positive note: "I'd like to but I'm really busy and can't make you a cake."

I don't know, I think that most of the time we women overthink this kind of thing. I'm with Jason on this one, just say you can't do it and cut through all the "what will they think of me" nonsense. Personally, I wouldn't say "I'd like to but..." Because some people will take that as an invitation to badger you further!

-K8memphis Posted 24 Mar 2013 , 4:39pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by costumeczar 

I don't know, I think that most of the time we women overthink this kind of thing. I'm with Jason on this one, just say you can't do it and cut through all the "what will they think of me" nonsense. Personally, I wouldn't say "I'd like to but..." Because some people will take that as an invitation to badger you further!

 

 

yes

 

let them know they are needed to help support your business

 

hand them some business cards and tell them when your business has five employees to handle the volume you can then afford to give them a discount so they need to get busy handing out the cards & spreading the word ;)

lorieleann Posted 26 Mar 2013 , 3:02am

My closest relative (a cousin who is like a sister...with all that baggage with it KWIM?) who lets her girls call me directly and ask for a birthday cake, even though she has made it quite clear that she in no way intends to pay for those cakes.thumbsdown.gif  On one cake, I asked her to at least cover expenses as I know they don't have a lot of money, so $40.  She called me on the way to see how much I needed to have because they had to wait for a check to clear to get money out of the ATM to give it to me and can they split it...blah, blah, blah.  I told her to just forget it and consider it their birthday gift. I have done three cakes for the three girls and if I am not busy on their birthdays and have some extra layers ready I will drop off a little something for them (she doesn't regularly do parties, and i have only been invited to two). But after this last time of having a 9 year old asking me to make her a special cake for her birthday (a 1D cake -oh joy) and being able to say no -- i really was overbooked with wedding cakes that weekend and couldn't do it anyway-- I feel bullet-proof with any family requests.  Now if she wanted to respect the money and time that goes into a cake and want to work out a budget and give me advance notice...i would probably take less money and way over deliver for a very special cake, but not if i'm considered the free cake vs a Walmart sheet cake. 

Nubianisme Posted 26 Mar 2013 , 3:39am

I would be honored to make my grandmother a cake for her friends. If she asked weekly no, but for once a year or every 5 years than sure grandma. But, that's just me and the way my small family rolls.

Chellescakes Posted 26 Mar 2013 , 3:51am

I pretty much have family and close friends well trained. They ask  if I am able to fit in a cake for them. Sometimes I can't, but they know that if they get the request in by baking day , often I can accommodate them.  However , they do understand if it is a big week and I can't  or are happy to downsize to simple if I get snowed under. 

 

Last week , I only had my  classes to teach and a bridal consult so I was Happy to do a cake for my niece , for one of her colleagues.  She did offer to pay me , so I only charged her $50  for the cake ( client price $150 )  . She sends a lot of work my way so the discount is justified. 

She turned up to pick it up on Sunday morning with Two dozen roses as well as the money . I also got a big hug and told I am the most Amazing Aunt in the Universe. 

She also took a stack of cards to distribute at the party and she plastered the cake all over her facebook page too. 

 

If you are going to give discounts or freebies to family , make 'em work for it , I say. icon_wink.gif

cakecoachonline Posted 26 Mar 2013 , 7:25am

I think just using lack of time as an 'excuse' is the kindest way.  I lost count of the times friends asked - could you just knock me up a cake - expecting it clearly for either zero money or cost of ingredients only.    Or the silliest one is - offering a cake as a birthday present.   Then spending ten hours of your life creating the thing.  Everyone else turns up with a £20 gift - but your is worth 8 - 10 x that!   The thing is this - we have 24 hours in the day, given to each and every one of us.  We have to choose how we spend our time.  It is irreplaceable, we need to value it.   Just because we have a skill that the relatives value, we need to value it ourselves too.  Even if you charge and gift the income to charity - I still think you should charge!

Crazy-Gray Posted 26 Mar 2013 , 11:31am

If they ask me for a cake of their design choice:

       They pay full price (including a rush fee if ordered within 7 days) minus £20%..... unless I owe them a favour then it's cost or free depending on favour value)

 

If they ask me for a cake of my design choice where I can try out or pratice something new:

       Free or cost price depending on size

 

If I offer to provide a cake:

       Cake is free (and is usually my 'gift')

 

If they "hint hint hint please offer me a free cake cos if I ask I have to pay":

       I'm unavailable

 

 

And all F&F cakes come with the clause: 'if you make me cut it you don't get a slice!'

-K8memphis Posted 26 Mar 2013 , 1:32pm

i worked for this company that had several stores--the one i was in struggled breaking even.

 

the guy's family got free stuff left and right--the parents did not--the owner forced them to take free--the sibling got hundeds of dollars of free in a month's time every month

 

he pressed the staff to sell more-- pressed us because he operated at a loss--but gave it away in a big way in the meantime--not a winning recipe

 

and the sibling was picky/demanding/last minute (not all the time but) and would get workers in trouble if things weren't just so

j92383 Posted 26 Mar 2013 , 2:26pm

I have no problem telling my family no. I give my friends 20% off (sometimes more) and my family 10%(sometimes none). My friends have done more to help me than all my family combined( with the exception of my sister who has supported me 100%)  Just because someone is related to you doesn't mean they are entitled to receive special services and privileges they didn't earn. If I was a roofer they wouldn't expect me to supply the materials and the labor why should it be any different because I'm  baker.

mommachris Posted 26 Mar 2013 , 2:31pm

If I'm asked to bring a cake with no indication that I'll be paid for my time. I do what everyone else does...go to Costco. :)
Hey, they don't expect the lady that is a florist to show up with center pieces.

mommachris
 

Bluehue Posted 26 Mar 2013 , 2:54pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by mkoteel 

I am curious to know how people in this business would say no to their relatives. I am not in this business but you know how relatives expect to get major concessions... if not free stuff. Just wondering!!!!

The same way you would say no to anybody else.... No

 

Why does anyone have to *find a way to say no*.icon_confused.gif

Arrange a consult if its too difficult to say what Jason said - i mean, lets face it - he was straight up - no beating around the bush and was honest....

Book a consult time  - listen to what they want - tell them the real cost - then the ball is in their court if they wish to continue with an order.

 

Its that simple.

 

But then, if your not in THIS business - what business are you in that you need to say no to a relative...

Perhaps you need to find a forum that relates to your business.....

 

Most Odd.

meriem Posted 26 Mar 2013 , 4:24pm

AIf I've learnt one thing since I started making cakes, its that those that want 'free' cake don't appreciate your work or the effort that goes into making a cake. This doesn't apply to me with family as I'm a still a student so live with my family. They eat all the cake I practice on ( and can actually get sick of cake lol) but it does with friends who just want a free cake or a cake for £20. I used to buckle over and do it for 'practice' but it just got ridiculous. After joining CC I learnt this. So if you don't want to make a cake for someone and they are not paying for it. Just say 'sorry, I'm busy' simples. If they really want one they'll pay you for your services. (sigh. Rant over)

kvand Posted 26 Mar 2013 , 6:42pm

I struggle with this all the time! I have a large family.  When we get together for Christmas, birthdays etc its always 20-25 people. (and growing since everyone seems to be acquiring kids and spouses and stuff)  at first when baking was a hobby I would offer to do cakes as it was an opportunity to practice.  As I got better their requests got more elaborate.  It used to be oh just surprise me now I get instructions.  Now that I run a business they don't think it should be any different. They will ask two days before  are you bringing a cake for "_____'s" birthday?  and when I say no they are all like... but you did a cake for _____.  some will give me $20 and say... this is for supplies.  bwahahaha... as if $20 covers the supplies for the two tier cake with fondant icing and figures and on and on and on.  so then I started saying sure it will be this much.  and I get oh I'll just get one at walmart, Costco local cupcake shop... WTH?!?!  how about support your freakin family you cheap freaks! Along the same lines I have a cousin who is an acupuncturist (self employed) and her husband owns a local restaurant.  They will all go to them and don't expect a freebie.  How is it different for me?!? There are those who I don't think twice about making a cake for.  these are the ones who don't ask for it (or if they do they say can I give you $100 and you surprise me with a cake.) and I know they appreciate it. 

 

I have gotten good at saying "im sorry I just don't have time" but I still always feel a little guilty.

 

Good times! ugh!

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