Help i live in a very warm and humid climate and and my bride wants cupcakes for her outdoor wedding, a basic butter-cream will not hold up to the outdoor heat and she does not want royal icing,  What type of icing should i use and what recipe should i use

You need to have a serious discussion with this bride. She has to factor the heat and timing into her food menu as a whole, not just the cupcakes.  Once any kind of food heats up to the danger zone, most places prohibit its being served.  Catering a beach wedding means a whole lot of ice chests under the tablecloths.

You can cover poundcake baked into small cakes with fondant or a good almond paste. In a pinch, air-dried "crusting" swirls premade a few days ahead of time and added to fresh cakes the day of the party. Any other kind of soft frosting will not hold up.

A buttercream made with shortening.  I would also keep the cupcakes frozen until about 30 minutes prior to serving them.