rosech Posted 6 Feb 2013 , 2:08pm
post #1 of

So bride came to me with a pillow design. I did my quote and started working on the cake. It's a fruit cake and the wedding is in June. She told me her payment plan was as and when she got money since her husband is self employed. For the last two times she has brought hubby along with her. First time he was moody and was not saying much. Today they came and he started talking about how he does not want a sweet cake. We did not do any cake tastings before. I said I will provide a cake for their next visit if they tell me when they will be coming on time. They have already paid me $320 out of $410, so payments have gone smoothly. THEN, groom started talking about some other people's cakes and things that went wrong bla bla bla. He then said he wanted the cake as per picture supplied. He then showed me the picture. It did not look like what I had agreed with the bride. Apparently what he wants is exactly like the design that was done for his sister's wedding. The bride does not like the idea of copying her SIL's design. I mentioned that there will be price adjustment since the design requires more tiers and different topsy turvey stacking arrangement. The bride just humbly agreed because he mentioned something along the lines, 'Ít's not your money'. The way he was describing things comparing doing cakes with what he does in his job as a mechanic,argh! He went on to say he wants to come and see all the stages involved in making fruit cake just to be sure he does not get surprises on the day. I am so uncomfortable working with him now. I told them I was going to work out the price adjustments associated with the changes. A part of me wants me to give them back their money and run. I have already baked two tiers so not sure what to do. I can always use them for tastings, favors or even for someone who wants a square cake. Another part does not want to chicken out. I am also thinking of putting PITA fee for the topsy turvey design. Sigh!

 

Thank u for listening.

38 replies
JimmyBoombats Posted 6 Feb 2013 , 2:23pm
post #2 of

I would run, very fast!!!!!

j92383 Posted 6 Feb 2013 , 2:29pm
post #3 of

Follow your instincts and run as fast as you can. Anyone who would say something like that to the woman he's going to marry in front of a stranger is not someone you want to deal with. If he has no respect for the fiance imagine how he's going to treat you.

melanie-1221 Posted 6 Feb 2013 , 2:29pm
post #4 of

I agree...Unless you really need the business I would bow out and give them a refund. 

I have had to do this before, I could smell unreasonable complaints , bashing and demands for refunds after the fact, a mile away.

I would refer them to another baker and save myself the headache.

bittersweety Posted 6 Feb 2013 , 2:30pm
post #5 of

oh man he sounds like a pill!  but i have one question, and maybe i just read it wrong or misunderstood, but did you say the wedding is in June and you already baked two tiers of the cake?

rosech Posted 6 Feb 2013 , 2:50pm
post #6 of

Yes its in June. Its a fruit cake, so no problem. It will be maturing.

BakingIrene Posted 6 Feb 2013 , 3:21pm
post #7 of

Here's what you need to do: write a letter.

 

Word it along the lines of "The bride and I formed a written agreement for a specific cake design.  I do not feel that I can do justice to the new design that has been required.  Here therefore is your full deposit, I wish you luck".

 

Call the bride and find out who gets the deposit $$.  Make a photocopy of that cheque for your records. Send a copy of the letter separately to both bride and groom.

 

There is no reason to be part of what is so obviously going to continue to be heartache.   Money for a cake does not buy the right to abuse you.

-K8memphis Posted 6 Feb 2013 , 3:25pm
post #8 of
Quote:
Originally Posted by BakingIrene 

Here's what you need to do: write a letter.

 

Word it along the lines of "The bride and I formed a written agreement for a specific cake design.  I do not feel that I can do justice to the new design that has been required.  Here therefore is your full deposit, I wish you luck".

 

Call the bride and find out who gets the deposit $$.  Make a photocopy of that cheque for your records. Send a copy of the letter separately to both bride and groom.

 

There is no reason to be part of what is so obviously going to continue to be heartache.   Money for a cake does not buy the right to abuse you.

 

pretty much yes worth considering

 

it's headache enough to do a cake

 

getting embroiled in their drama months in advance

 

plus he want to micromange you every step?  frick no!

cakeyouverymuch Posted 6 Feb 2013 , 3:36pm
post #9 of

I'm with Irene.  RUN! 

VicB213 Posted 6 Feb 2013 , 3:46pm

I do not have a busy but I have worked in the Wedding Industry with a Videography and DJ company... I have seen the owner return money because of just a "gut" feeling and have found out later that it was a great thing... so judging from your post I agree with everyone else... RUN!!!

leah_s Posted 6 Feb 2013 , 4:23pm

In my experience a groomzila is worse than a bridezilla or even a momzilla.  Srsly, run, run like the wind.

jgifford Posted 6 Feb 2013 , 5:12pm

When you send the letter to the bride, include a bar of soap and a sock. She's going to need it.

JimmyBoombats Posted 6 Feb 2013 , 5:13pm

Too funny!!!

Jeannem Posted 6 Feb 2013 , 5:31pm

I agree..sometimes it's just not worth the hassle..

I'm a home baker..I once had a lady call me at noon on Friday, and told me she "had to have cake sample of EVERY kind of cake that I make by 6:30 the next day". I ran so fast the wind still hasn't died down!!
 

-K8memphis Posted 6 Feb 2013 , 5:40pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeannem 

I agree..sometimes it's just not worth the hassle..

I'm a home baker..I once had a lady call me at noon on Friday, and told me she "had to have cake sample of EVERY kind of cake that I make by 6:30 the next day". I ran so fast the wind still hasn't died down!!
 

 

icon_lol.gif  too funny! and stupid thoughtless

 

you whipped up a genuine white flour tornado!!!

ellavanilla Posted 6 Feb 2013 , 8:08pm

He wants to be there when you bake the cake? does he let clients come under the lift when he's changing the oil? gimme a break!

 

I also run a day care and I have never been wrong when i thought someone was going to blow me off or stiff me on a payment. Sometimes you just know. Trust your instinct on this one. 

-K8memphis Posted 6 Feb 2013 , 8:11pm

hey save up a sink full of dishes to keep him busy while he's hovering

 

icon_lol.gif

jgifford Posted 6 Feb 2013 , 8:19pm

There's a sign I've seen in several repair shops - -

 

 

Labor Rate  -  $50 per hour

 

If you watch -  $100 per hour

 

If you help  -   $500 per hour

 

 

Make up your own and post it prominently.

arlenej Posted 6 Feb 2013 , 8:38pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BakingIrene 

Here's what you need to do: write a letter.

 

Word it along the lines of "The bride and I formed a written agreement for a specific cake design.  I do not feel that I can do justice to the new design that has been required.  Here therefore is your full deposit, I wish you luck".

 

Call the bride and find out who gets the deposit $$.  Make a photocopy of that cheque for your records. Send a copy of the letter separately to both bride and groom.

 

There is no reason to be part of what is so obviously going to continue to be heartache.   Money for a cake does not buy the right to abuse you.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by melanie-1221 

I agree...Unless you really need the business I would bow out and give them a refund. 

I have had to do this before, I could smell unreasonable complaints , bashing and demands for refunds after the fact, a mile away.

I would refer them to another baker and save myself the headache.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by leah_s 

In my experience a groomzila is worse than a bridezilla or even a momzilla.  Srsly, run, run like the wind.

 

What she said...And her....and HER!
icer101 Posted 6 Feb 2013 , 11:58pm

RUN FOREST. RUN!!!!!!!lol!!! I,m serious!!!

remnant3333 Posted 7 Feb 2013 , 12:31am

I agree with the others!!! It sounds like to me it will only get worse if you continue dealing with these people!!! Run now while you can and refund them the money!!! Good luck/Mary

Danilou Posted 7 Feb 2013 , 1:31am

Let us know what you end up doing? I'd love to hear their reaction. I feel sorry for the bride though, besides I thought the bride chose the cake design!!!

cazza1 Posted 7 Feb 2013 , 1:48am

Nowadays weddings are quite often joint affairs as who pays what can vary immensely.  Most men don't really care that much about the cake.  As long as it looks nice and makes their bride happy.  She knows what she is getting into but rather than you running maybe it should be her.  Run Baby Run!!!
 

Annabakescakes Posted 7 Feb 2013 , 4:14am

A

Original message sent by cazza1

Nowadays weddings are quite often joint affairs as who pays what can vary immensely.  Most men don't really care that much about the cake.  As long as it looks nice and makes their bride happy.  She knows what she is getting into but rather than you running maybe it should be her.  Run Baby Run!!!

I couldn't agree more! He sounds like an abusive jerk. I wish ALL men didnt care about the cake because I had one recently that kept messing up the design. We had a "clean, modern" cake designed, bride loved it, and groom wanted to clutter it with piping. But I prefer that to what you are going through with this A-hole.

Annabakescakes Posted 7 Feb 2013 , 4:15am

A

Original message sent by jgifford

There's a sign I've seen in several repair shops - -

Labor Rate  -  $50 per hour

If you watch -  $100 per hour

If you help  -   $500 per hour

Make up your own and post it prominently.

YES!!! Do it!

rosech Posted 7 Feb 2013 , 7:53am

You guys are awesome! Thank u so much! I will meet them today. Will give u feedback later. Was talking to my daughter yesterday and I said, "This girl is going to spend the rest of her life with such a man, OMG!"

-K8memphis Posted 7 Feb 2013 , 2:11pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by rosech 

...Was talking to my daughter yesterday and I said, "This girl is going to spend the rest of her life with such a man, OMG!"

 

 

y'know as has been mentioned--we have this guy all figured out from this one incident--"run baby run" was the comment and right on!

 

i think we have a break through here to offer some pre marital advice to our clients--kind of a crystal ball counseling type thing--

 

how can we work that into our contracts--as an added bonus of our services

 

icon_lol.gif

BakingIrene Posted 7 Feb 2013 , 2:17pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by rosech 

Was talking to my daughter yesterday and I said, "This girl is going to spend the rest of her life with such a man, OMG!"

Well, yes.  The bride-to-be no doubt has been through this at other times too.

 

But you are not in any way obliged to sit there and take any verbal abuse from this groom-to-be.  He starts up? that is the end of the contract.

 

But you say so in writing.  You should not open yourself up to any more abuse. Once you send the cancellation letter, you do NOT take any more meetings or calls from either of them--because that would be an utter waste of time.

jgifford Posted 7 Feb 2013 , 4:55pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by -K8memphis 

 

 

y'know as has been mentioned--we have this guy all figured out from this one incident--"run baby run" was the comment and right on!

 

i think we have a break through here to offer some pre marital advice to our clients--kind of a crystal ball counseling type thing--

 

how can we work that into our contracts--as an added bonus of our services

 

icon_lol.gif

I think this is a wonderful idea.  But, by the time they get to us, they've pretty much already made up their minds that they're going to go ahead and get married. 

 

Do you realize how much counselors make? icon_surprised.gif  That would be awesome!

-K8memphis Posted 7 Feb 2013 , 5:11pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by jgifford 

I think this is a wonderful idea.  But, by the time they get to us, they've pretty much already made up their minds that they're going to go ahead and get married. 

 

Do you realize how much counselors make? icon_surprised.gif  That would be awesome!

 

 

last ditch effort--hail mary pass & all that

 

<shouting> "THE BRIDGE IS OUT"

 

icon_biggrin.gif

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