pandj04 Posted 23 Jan 2013 , 12:35am
post #1 of

One of my co-workers is moving away soon and in the discussion about the going away party I said I would make a cake. I offered to do it no charge or anything, I just wanted to contribute to the party. I thought of a cute design and discussed it with the two girls planning the party and they thought it sounded good and I was looking forward to making it.

 

Well, today I hear through the grapevine that the two girls planning the party decided to ask a girl who used to work with us to make the cake instead. I feel insulted and am taking it really personally!!!! I don't understand why they decided I wasn't good enough for them especially since I have made many cakes for other co-workers AND brought cakes/cupcakes to work and everyone always raves about them. I just feel so offended right now.

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7 replies
DeliciousDesserts Posted 23 Jan 2013 , 12:48am
post #2 of

I understand how hurt you must feel.

 

Is it possible that the 2 planning the party are close friends with this other baker?  Perhaps they always get "their" cakes from her.

 

It doesn't necessarily mean that they don't like your cakes, baking, or artistic work.  This may be about a personal relationship. Does the guest of honor have a connection to this other baker?  Lots of possibilities.

 

It's hard not to take it personally. I do.  But you also have to try to put this in perspective and consider the other possibilities.

 

Also, even if you aren't a confrontational person, I suggest asking the ladies in charge.  I would just be straight forward.  It also may just be idle gossip.

denetteb Posted 23 Jan 2013 , 12:50am
post #3 of

Just maybe it is a false rumor.  Before you spend more energy on being insulted and offended, touch base with the party planners on the cake.  Either tell them about the rumor or make up a reason, maybe talk about some detail of the cake.   Do this tomorrow so you don't have more time to worry about it.  If they still want you to make it you can let go of the rumor.  If they say they have made other plans then you can just ask them why.  Do this all in person, not an email or text or call so you can have a better dialog about it.

 

Even if they have decided on another person it may have nothing to do with you not being good enough.  Maybe the other person was really close to the person leaving or one of the planners and has nothing to do with the quality of your cakes.  Maybe they don't want to take advantage of you.  Take a deep breath, don't think the worst and you can find out tomorrow what is going on.

denetteb Posted 23 Jan 2013 , 12:51am
post #4 of

DeliciousDesserts, I was typing at the same time as you.  Great minds think alike!!

-K8memphis Posted 23 Jan 2013 , 12:52am
post #5 of

i don't know

 

are they thinking that two cakes would be good??

 

i've had that happen before so in that case i just bowed out

 

i think you owe it to yoursefl to approach them about it

 

before your feelings tank any lower.

 

and in just a level unemotional way check your understanding of the situation

 

there might be a good reason or maybe not and it might just hurt you worse but you don't sem to have all the facts at this point

 

also would be best to ask them together at the same time if possible

 

screw the grapevine--

remnant3333 Posted 23 Jan 2013 , 12:53am
post #6 of

Maybe they are wanting two different cakes at the party. Years ago where I worked there would always be more than one dessert since there were a lot of people working there. I would confront the two people and let them know what you heard from others. You don't have to mention names but just tell them you heard it through the grapevine. Good luck and let us know what happens!!/Mary

pandj04 Posted 23 Jan 2013 , 1:05am
post #7 of

Thanks for the responses. From what I understand this party isn't being planned well and they still don't even have a location figured out (it's next weekend). I'm going to ask them tomorrow but I don't know how to respond if they tell me they asked the other girl... which they definitely asked her AFTER discussing it with me. I did offer and they didn't ask me so maybe they just never wanted me to do it in the first place but didn't know how to turn down my offer. 

kikiandkyle Posted 23 Jan 2013 , 1:31am
post #8 of

AUntil you know what actually happened you can't know how you'll respond. You could be beating yourself up over nothing.

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