Things Not To Ask/say To A Baker!

Decorating By step0nmi Updated 20 Oct 2016 , 2:28pm by ch5964

FromScratchSF Posted 14 Dec 2012 , 5:32pm
post #211 of 3221

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

 

I <3 this thread.

 

OH OH I have another one!

 

Faun-dawnT.  Every time I hear someone try and sound like they "know" stuff or at least prove how much they watch the Cake Boss and say "fawn-dawnT" I cringe.  I almost want to put a disclaimer on my website - if you contact me about a cake, please don't ask for a moist marble cake covered in fawn-dawnT with icing that isn't sweet in the shape of a woof.

 

There is NO hard T in French.  If you are French you say fawn-don.  NO T.  The rest of the English speaking world says fon-DANT.  

 

 

I also hate the word "icing" when it applies to my cake.  I don't make "icing".  I make buttercream.  

 
I also hate when people say woofs instead of wolves.  Probably a totally different thread.

Panel7124 Posted 14 Dec 2012 , 6:10pm
post #212 of 3221

This is a funny thread thumbs_up.gif.

 

Things NOT to ask a baker? Definitely not: 'Was it baked (in the oven)?'

 

Young girl comes to pick up her purse and make-up cake. Looking suspiciously at the cake asks 'Was it baked?'

 

Me: 'What exactly? .....The cake? Of course.' .......(I usually bake all my cakes - unless you wanted your purse full of liquid [email protected] but you didn't specify that in your order. But you are right, it would make the MOISTEST cake ever but at the same time also clean and modern one...icon_wink.gif)

 

Girl: - 'Everything.'

 

Sure. I put a cake drum in my magic oven and a purse, fondant lipsticks, eyeshadows and nail polishes grow overnight like mushrooms. The only hitch: I have to bake the cake drum 2 days in advance otherwise it wouldn't have time to harden enough.

 

Apart from that, I don't enjoy working with people who ask for 'no buttercream and no ganache' in their cake.

BakingIrene Posted 14 Dec 2012 , 6:27pm
post #213 of 3221
Quote:
Originally Posted by FromScratchSF 

 

There is NO hard T in French.  If you are French you say fawn-don.  NO T.  The rest of the English speaking world says fon-DANT.  

 

EHHHH?

 

Up here is Canuckistan we sez FON dant if we don' spek Frog.

cakeyouverymuch Posted 14 Dec 2012 , 6:34pm
post #214 of 3221
Quote:
Originally Posted by carmijok 


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  Response:   "I rarely dip my cakes in melted cheese!" 

 

 

But. . . . but. . .b.b.b.bu-ut. . . . If you di-id, they'd be the MOISTEST cakes evah!

BakingIrene Posted 14 Dec 2012 , 6:41pm
post #215 of 3221
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazy-Gray 

OMG I just had to leave the room in a fit of giggles at the typos- now the cat's looking at me like I've two heads- jees!

 

A while back I was asked:

"we'd really love one of your cakes..."

(great start- I'd love to make you one!)

"...but we don't like cake..."

(erm....)

"and there's only 4 of us too..."

(....phone silence from potential customer indicates that they desire a response- I go with: 'so you'd like a small something that looks like a cake but isn't a cake?'

A little-known fact: when the Vikings came back to Iceland from North America, they told their local baker about how they had "cakes over there...you know...not really made from cake"

 

And so was born the vinaterta (layers of cookies and prunes)

 

Which by the way NEEDS to be left at room temperature for 4-5 days to get decent.  Ideal for covering with, uh...

FromScratchSF Posted 14 Dec 2012 , 7:41pm
post #216 of 3221

A[CODE][/CODE]

Original message sent by BakingIrene

EHHHH?

Up here is Canuckistan we sez FON dant if we don' spek Frog.

Yes, but you don't say DAWNT. Fon-DAWNT.

Snicker- never heard of Canukistan. That's hella funny!

shanter Posted 14 Dec 2012 , 9:03pm
post #217 of 3221
Quote:
Originally Posted by BakingIrene 

A little-known fact: when the Vikings came back to Iceland from North America, they told their local baker about how they had "cakes over there...you know...not really made from cake"

And so was born the vinaterta (layers of cookies and prunes)

 

*smirgle* (smirk and giggle)

 

Irene, are you Viking-Canuckian? I'm Viking-Amurkun.

vgcea Posted 14 Dec 2012 , 9:31pm
post #218 of 3221

I LOVE this thread!

jenmat Posted 14 Dec 2012 , 9:45pm
post #219 of 3221
Quote:
Originally Posted by costumeczar 

Oh, that reminds me of another one. "I wanted to know if my fiance can come over to try some of the samples since it's been a while since we booked. He wanted to try the chocolate and vanilla again." Makes me want to ask them if they've ever eaten chocolate or vanilla before and if they know what it tastes like.

OMG, this happens to me ALL. THE. TIME. 

 

I understand that you can forget how exactly something tastes, but can you at least remember if you thought it was good? And do NOT tell me that this is your fiancee. This is YOU and you are throwing your fiancee under the bus. And if you taste it and it's not as good as you remember, are you going to cancel your cake?

 

That and the Marble thing. Dude, it's choc and vanilla swirled together. If you sample those, I think you're good. (and up here if it isn't that combo, it's not called Marble. :) 

kazita Posted 14 Dec 2012 , 10:05pm
post #220 of 3221

A

Original message sent by jgifford

Does this mean you make psychic cupcakes?  I knew it!

Yes psychic cupcakes ....And I charge extra for them

hbquikcomjamesl Posted 14 Dec 2012 , 11:55pm
post #221 of 3221
Quote:
Originally Posted by jenmat 
That and the Marble thing. . .  (and up here if it isn't that combo [chocolate and vanilla], it's not called Marble. :) 

I won't quote, or refer you to, the Wikipedia article, because I wrote one or two sentences thereof, but cf. this, which is cited in the Wikipedia article (and was before I got into it):

http://www.foodtimeline.org/foodcakes.html#marble

Everything quoted from prior to 1921 was some sort of spice marble or molasses marble.

BakingIrene Posted 15 Dec 2012 , 12:06am
post #222 of 3221
Quote:
Originally Posted by FromScratchSF 

Snicker- never heard of Canukistan. That's hella funny!

Canuckistan was invented by a "furriner" graduate student for the benefit of all those Murkans who saw a license plate from Manitoba and said "that's in North Dakota, right?" 

 

The inventor used to go around imitating an accent and telling people he was Canuckistani and that we drove electric cars whenever they saw the block heater plug.  It was a lot more fun than trying to give people a geography lesson.

 

I used to spend summers in Gimli Manitoba which is half Icelandic and half Ukrainian.  There were quite a few people who spoke both languages at home. The Ukrainians don't call it "vinaterta" but we make a remarkably similar torte with cookie layers and fruit filling.

Apti Posted 15 Dec 2012 , 1:03am
post #223 of 3221

Murkens (are we just furriners to you, BakingIrene?)

 

I awake now just to run to my computer and read this hysterical thread.

step0nmi Posted 15 Dec 2012 , 2:58am
post #224 of 3221
Quote:
Originally Posted by kazita 


Yes psychic cupcakes ....And I charge extra for them

OMG! WHAT IS THIS IN REFERENCE TOO AND I CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT???? hahahahahahahahaahahaa

step0nmi Posted 15 Dec 2012 , 2:59am
post #225 of 3221
Quote:
Originally Posted by FromScratchSF 

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

 

I <3 this thread.

 

OH OH I have another one!

 

Faun-dawnT.  Every time I hear someone try and sound like they "know" stuff or at least prove how much they watch the Cake Boss and say "fawn-dawnT" I cringe.  I almost want to put a disclaimer on my website - if you contact me about a cake, please don't ask for a moist marble cake covered in fawn-dawnT with icing that isn't sweet in the shape of a woof.

 

There is NO hard T in French.  If you are French you say fawn-don.  NO T.  The rest of the English speaking world says fon-DANT.  

 

 

I also hate the word "icing" when it applies to my cake.  I don't make "icing".  I make buttercream.  

 
I also hate when people say woofs instead of wolves.  Probably a totally different thread.

LMAO i am reading every T and every word all emphasized and I am cracking myself up with YOUR words! because that is exactly how other people sound and they just don't get it! icon_twisted.gif

step0nmi Posted 15 Dec 2012 , 3:01am
post #226 of 3221
Quote:
Originally Posted by Panel7124 

This is a funny thread thumbs_up.gif.

 

Things NOT to ask a baker? Definitely not: 'Was it baked (in the oven)?'

 

Young girl comes to pick up her purse and make-up cake. Looking suspiciously at the cake asks 'Was it baked?'

 

Me: 'What exactly? .....The cake? Of course.' .......(I usually bake all my cakes - unless you wanted your purse full of liquid [email protected] but you didn't specify that in your order. But you are right, it would make the MOISTEST cake ever but at the same time also clean and modern one...icon_wink.gif)

 

Girl: - 'Everything.'

 

Sure. I put a cake drum in my magic oven and a purse, fondant lipsticks, eyeshadows and nail polishes grow overnight like mushrooms. The only hitch: I have to bake the cake drum 2 days in advance otherwise it wouldn't have time to harden enough.

 

Apart from that, I don't enjoy working with people who ask for 'no buttercream and no ganache' in their cake.

dunce.gif MY JAW DROPPED AT THIS! I can't believe someone would be that dense! BUT i Let out a big ROAR that I have never heard before with the cake drum and "magic oven" comment hahahahaha

 

 

please tell me she was blonde shhh.gif

step0nmi Posted 15 Dec 2012 , 3:02am
post #227 of 3221

ok...i totally came on here to find a recipe and you guys got me all side tracked. LOVE IT ALL! thumbs_up.gif

kazita Posted 15 Dec 2012 , 3:14am
post #228 of 3221

A

Original message sent by step0nmi

OMG! WHAT IS THIS IN REFERENCE TOO AND I CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT???? hahahahahahahahaahahaa

Lol last week l mispelled metal cupcakes liners and someone asked what kind of cupcakes I was having being that I was making mental cupcakes so someone her asked if I was making psychic cupcakes I said up and I was gonna charge more for them lol

step0nmi Posted 15 Dec 2012 , 3:34am
post #229 of 3221
Quote:
Originally Posted by kazita 


Lol last week l mispelled metal cupcakes liners and someone asked what kind of cupcakes I was having being that I was making mental cupcakes so someone her asked if I was making psychic cupcakes I said up and I was gonna charge more for them lol

oh yea! that was so far back i needed a refresher... thanks. :)

shanter Posted 15 Dec 2012 , 3:52am
post #230 of 3221
Quote:
Originally Posted by kazita 


Lol last week l mispelled metal cupcakes liners and someone asked what kind of cupcakes I was having being that I was making mental cupcakes so someone her asked if I was making psychic cupcakes I said up and I was gonna charge more for them lol


So, do you have a line-item in your pricing structure for "mental fatigue"? Wait a minute! Metal cake pans, metal cookie cutters, metal knives, metal everything else - does everyone charge for "metal fatigue"?

kazita Posted 15 Dec 2012 , 4:07am
post #232 of 3221

ALol I suffer from mental fatigue

kazita Posted 15 Dec 2012 , 4:16am
post #233 of 3221

AWe should be charging for metal fatigue

vgcea Posted 15 Dec 2012 , 8:49am
post #234 of 3221

http://cakecentral.com/t/751962/cake-balls-really#post_7341735 

I guess somebody no likey MOIST cake BALLS... *shrugs* As long as they're CLEAN and MODERN, I'm good.

leonilyn Posted 15 Dec 2012 , 4:26pm
post #235 of 3221
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nixs247 

lol.. this is what happened a few weeks ago.

 

Customer: I need a 2-3 Tier Wedding Cake

Me: So will that be a 2 Tier or 3 Tier Cake?

Customer: hmmm....3 Tier 

Me: Ok, so can you advise me of the Bride & Grooms Colour Theme

Customer: The Groom is Black and his Bride is White!!!

LOL!!! 

wildflowercakes Posted 16 Dec 2012 , 4:19am
post #236 of 3221

Now not matter what post in the forum I read the word "Moist" or any of it derivatives jumps out at me. Moist moister moistest. the word is everywhere!

step0nmi Posted 16 Dec 2012 , 4:34am
post #237 of 3221

tonight i figured out a new one! yaaaay! i get to come to this thread and share LOL

 

I had made a really cute santa face/head and didn't get to take pictures before i left the house...so I was taking a photo when I got to my destination of a lovely family gathering with a bunch of kids. One of them was like maybe 4 and really REALLY wanted my santa cake...even after seeing it for 1 min lol. but my aunt was holding up this kid while I took a couple of photos, but my cake was near the floor and it was really hard for me to take a picture. so after about 3 shots my aunt is like....

 

 

hurry up and cut the cake! icon_confused.gif

 

I just sighed and said "let me get a good shot" but she proceeded to help the 4 year old by saying "she really wants cake can't you just cut it?"

 

yea....don't ask a cake decorator to hurry up and cut a cake when they are taking photos of their work...it's just not nice. icon_lol.gif

Annabakescakes Posted 16 Dec 2012 , 4:38am
post #238 of 3221

A

Original message sent by vgcea

[URL=http://cakecentral.com/t/751962/cake-balls-really#post_7341735%C2%A0]http://cakecentral.com/t/751962/cake-balls-really#post_7341735 [/URL] I guess somebody no likey [SIZE=20px]MOIST[/SIZE] [SIZE=8px]cake[/SIZE] [SIZE=20px]BALLS[/SIZE]... *shrugs* As long as they're [SIZE=20px]CLEAN and MODERN[/SIZE], I'm good.

Roflmao!!!

Annabakescakes Posted 16 Dec 2012 , 4:47am
post #239 of 3221

AI always hate when someone asks me how can i cut the cake? Umm, its cake! It has to be cut to be eaten, unless everyone is planning on crowding around it and gnawing off of it like jackals on a fresh kill... And i will be angry if i worked that hard to make it yummy and special, then it gets wasted. No, its not all about getting paid for it.

step0nmi Posted 16 Dec 2012 , 5:14am
post #240 of 3221

yea...it was really nice cutting my cake tonight and barely anyone eating it icon_sad.gif

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