things NOT to ask/say to a baker!

Decorating By step0nmi Updated 11 Jan 2016 , 1:15am by Apti

Pastrybaglady Posted 15 Oct 2013 , 4:29pm
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I'm a home baker and I've been baking for over 30 years.  I have only gotten into decorating recently so I don't have any cake stories but I was known for baking bread and pastry.  I made bagels, challah, croissants, puff pastry, etc...  It used to drive me crazy when people would ask me, "Wow, this is sooo good!  What kind of bread maker do you have?"  I would always say, "I have it with me, want to see?" and I hold up my hands.

IAmPamCakes Posted 15 Oct 2013 , 4:31pm
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AI get asked if I use a bread maker sometimes too. I hate that.

hbquikcomjamesl Posted 15 Oct 2013 , 5:17pm
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Yes. Just as the tool I use to mix frosting, beat eggs, and mix my turkey-loaf (i.e., a dinner fork) is powered by elbow grease. The few times I've participated in the baking of any kind of bread, other than from, say, Bridgford's frozen dough, (back when I was in elementary school! We churned our own butter, too.), it was all hand-kneaded.


I find myself thinking of something the printer at the Colonial Williamsburg print shop said, when I was there last month: he kept referring to the wooden presses in use there as being "powered by beer." Or something traditional woodworking guru Roy Underhill said about great wheel lathes being "powered by cheap wine."

love2bake4u Posted 17 Oct 2013 , 8:33pm
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For those of you that get the good old "it is just a cake or can't be that hard" I will tell you what I did.


I had a good friend who always ordered cakes from me and she had stated those same words a couple of times

so I told her to come over and watch me do a wedding cake that was due that weekend. During the baking process,

she complained about having to butter and line the pans (all of them).  Then she said just use a box mix...I rolled my eyes.

After the cooling, leveling, and crumb icing she was worn out....I had to laugh.  We were only a few hours into it and still had

much more to go.  After all the decorating, stacking, icing, dowel rodding it, and making other decorations she never ever stated again that

"it is just a cake or can't be that hard" She actually didn't think I charged enough for my time. :-)

Sparklekat6 Posted 17 Oct 2013 , 9:56pm
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And what of using a box mix?  It would have saved maybe 20 minutes in measuring ingredients.  You still would have had to do EVERYTHING else.  People are not smart. 

love2bake4u Posted 17 Oct 2013 , 11:55pm
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AI'm sorry I should have clarified....I am a "from scratch only" baker. Nothing at all wrong with box.

sarahgale314 Posted 18 Oct 2013 , 12:41am
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Original message sent by Sparklekat6

And what of using a box mix?  It would have saved maybe 20 minutes in measuring ingredients.  You still would have had to do EVERYTHING else.  People are not smart. 

I don't think a box mix saves any extra time. I made WASC once to try it - it has more ingredients and was more involved than my scratch recipes.

BatterUpCake Posted 18 Oct 2013 , 12:49am
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Saves me a LOT of time. Probably because I am used to it and do it without thought. Probably the same as with your recipes. However with a straight mix it'sjust eggs and water. Sometimes oil. But of course it tastes like poo, at least to me

hbquikcomjamesl Posted 18 Oct 2013 , 10:36pm
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I didn't know they offered a poo-flavored mix.


(Hmm. Would a cake shaped like Christopher Robin's stuffed bear taste like . . .)

hrrb1977 Posted 23 Oct 2013 , 7:25am
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howsweet Posted 23 Oct 2013 , 2:14pm
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AAre you saying you actually run across people willing to pay $900 for a $300 cake?

Paperfishies Posted 23 Oct 2013 , 8:01pm
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Customer calls, emails you a picture of an elaborate birthday cake that will feed 75 people, yet they only need 20 servings...Wants to know how much it would cost.


"Oh WOW, I can't afford that.  This other baker is willing to do it for (insert asinine price here)."


Me, "Oh really?  Could you give me their number, I will have them do my my kids birthday cake from now on"

ellavanilla Posted 23 Oct 2013 , 8:31pm
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#1 i will NEVER be able to make a white chocolate ganache, without cringing, again. so thanks. :D


#2 someone called Friday afternoon for an edible photo cake for MONDAY. Nevermind that I'm not open on Sunday or MOnday, I job out edible images and would never have had the time to get it back from the other vendor. But she asked that inevitable and cringe-worthy question, "do you know who else can make it for me?" "Hell YEs!" I replied, "Because I want to inflict you on someone else, forthwith!"


I told her the grocery story could probably do it. I could hear her shudder over the phone. But what do you expect when you want something custom? 


"I'm also available, on short notice, to alter your wedding dress, steam clean your carpets, and plan your 50 birthday party. After all, I'm obviously magical..."




dreamycakes1 Posted 23 Oct 2013 , 8:46pm
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Original message sent by Nixs247

lol.. this is what happened a few weeks ago.

Customer: I need a 2-3 Tier Wedding Cake Me: So will that be a 2 Tier or 3 Tier Cake? Customer: hmmm....3 Tier  Me: Ok, so can you advise me of the Bride & Grooms Colour Theme Customer: The Groom is Black and his Bride is White!!!

Lol...I can't stop laughing...

Paperfishies Posted 23 Oct 2013 , 9:24pm
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ABecause she didn't want a simplified version, she didn't want what I could Offer them in their price range, she wanted the picture they showed me.

For this specific incident I'm referencing, she wanted to pay $50 for a 2-3 tier Minnie Mouse cake, including the delivery, lol. 0.o When I told her what I could offer her for that price range she scoffed and informed me other bakers quoted her $50, lol.

Ive had another wanting a 2 tier christening cake for her twins, complete with 2 gum paste rosaries, a large gum paste cross and her kids names. When I told her the cost of the two tier she looked at me like I had just offended her...I tried to work with her, scaling the cake down to a single tier, no dice.

Original message sent by hbquikcomjamesl

So why not do a simplified version at 1/3 scale?

howsweet Posted 23 Oct 2013 , 9:44pm
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Oh - I didn't notice it's the lighthearted funny thread - sorry folks :-D

hrrb1977 Posted 24 Oct 2013 , 12:37am
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Godot Posted 24 Oct 2013 , 4:30am
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Original message sent by hrrb1977


yes what?

dee8457 Posted 24 Oct 2013 , 6:06pm
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AOh no I got a good one. I made some high heel cupcakes for my niece she loved them so much that she called back and ask for the recipe so she can give it to her friend that was working in the bakery at Walmart and now she decided sh wanted to work from. Because her friend icing is too bitter when she uses dark colors. So she wants my recipe and good to help anther bakery. Ummmm no I'm trying to be successful just like her friend.

cak3m0m Posted 26 Oct 2013 , 3:20pm
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The weirdest ones I have ever gotten: Can you make a sugar free buttercreme?

I also got asked this by a client: I was contacted to make a pirate birthday themed cake. (keep in mind I don't know this person) She wanted to know what ingredients to buy so she could come over and watch me make the cake. Then she asked me if I would make it for free since she was going to buy the ingredients... really?!

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