Things Not To Ask/say To A Baker!

Decorating By step0nmi Updated 30 Jul 2016 , 8:35pm by costumeczar

FromScratchSF Posted 13 Dec 2012 , 9:51pm
post #181 of 3218

Hahahaha!  OK I have another one:

 

Marble.

 

icon_confused.gif

 

Take a bite of chocolate, don't swallow, take a bite of vanilla... chew and swallow.  Voila!  Marble!  Why do I have to bake a special little sample of cake that is just chocolate and vanilla cake baked in the same pan when I've already given the client CHOCOLATE AND VANILLA cake samples?  Is the flavor really that special and complex that some magical transformation happens when those two batters are baked together that completely change the flavor profile from just taking a bite of vanilla cake then taking a bite of chocolate cake and using your imagination that they were baked all in the same pan?

 

Don't know why this one drives me nuts.

FromScratchSF Posted 13 Dec 2012 , 9:56pm
post #182 of 3218
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dayti 

Customer: I see you have a ten portion minimum on all your cakes.

Me: Yes, that's right.

Customer: Well, there are only 4 of us.

Me: You could just cut it into 4 pieces. Or have some the next day, everyone loves leftover cake!

Customer: So if there are only 4 of us, will the price be the same?

Me: *shaking head and wondering whether to just hang up* Yes, the price would be the same, no matter how many pieces you cut it into.

Customer: And does it all have to be the same flavour cake and filling?

Me: Yeah, how about I make 4 different flavoured 6" cakes, torte them, and give you one half layer of each flavour, and I then sandwich them together with 3 flavours of buttercream, and ganache in white AND dark chocolate, just to keep ALL 4 of you REALLY happy.

 

OMG I just had someone that did that to me!  She wanted 4 different flavors of cake and 4 different buttercreams - in a 6" cake!

step0nmi Posted 13 Dec 2012 , 11:00pm
post #183 of 3218

have you ever had someone ask you about cake, have a consultation and in that consultation they say "yea, I normally make the cakes but I don't have the time this time around".

 

I had this happen to me...I make a spectacular cake, and when I bring it over she is OBVIOUSLY jealous! why would someone do this to themselves icon_lol.gif

costumeczar Posted 13 Dec 2012 , 11:25pm
post #184 of 3218
Quote:
Originally Posted by FromScratchSF 

Hahahaha!  OK I have another one:

 

Marble.

 

icon_confused.gif

 

Take a bite of chocolate, don't swallow, take a bite of vanilla... chew and swallow.  Voila!  Marble!  Why do I have to bake a special little sample of cake that is just chocolate and vanilla cake baked in the same pan when I've already given the client CHOCOLATE AND VANILLA cake samples?  Is the flavor really that special and complex that some magical transformation happens when those two batters are baked together that completely change the flavor profile from just taking a bite of vanilla cake then taking a bite of chocolate cake and using your imagination that they were baked all in the same pan?

 

Don't know why this one drives me nuts.

Oh, that reminds me of another one. "I wanted to know if my fiance can come over to try some of the samples since it's been a while since we booked. He wanted to try the chocolate and vanilla again." Makes me want to ask them if they've ever eaten chocolate or vanilla before and if they know what it tastes like.

kazita Posted 13 Dec 2012 , 11:35pm
post #185 of 3218

ACustomer- long sob story how she really can't afford the kind of cake she wants so she found me hoping to get a great deal on a specialty cake. Me- feeling sorry for her quote her a dirt cheap price Customer- oh thank god I can afford that..now I also want 2 dozen cupcakes in two different flavors Me- ok that will be extra Customer-really? Remember I can't afford much Me- than you just want the cake no cupcakes? Customer- no I want both just say with my budget Me- ( big sigh) yeah I understand want you wan t

kazita Posted 13 Dec 2012 , 11:52pm
post #186 of 3218

A

Original message sent by vgcea

All these folks with their knotted knickers trying to get this thread shut down. I've got something for ya. Gimme a few minutes. **Returns the simple syrup to the stove and sets candy thermometer to 245F**:twisted:

Can you just make peanut brittle instead I have a craving and I have a broken foot so I can't stand Long enough to make it. Lol how much will this request cost me? And please remember I have a budget

hbquikcomjamesl Posted 13 Dec 2012 , 11:52pm
post #187 of 3218

Well, they might want to make sure your marble cake doesn't come out the consistency of a block of marble. That was, after all, my own biggest concern, the first time I made my strawberry marble cake. And of course, anything added to the batter can screw up the chemistry, so it doesn't all rise evenly (my strawberry marble doesn't; the strawberry veining is slightly, but visibly, depressed.)

 

And for that matter, who says a marble cake has to be chocolate marble? There's strawberry marble, and besides, spice marble, by all accounts, was the very first marble cake.

shanter Posted 14 Dec 2012 , 12:42am
post #188 of 3218

Quote:

Originally Posted by vgcea View Post

All these folks with their knotted knickers trying to get this thread shut down. I've got something for ya. Gimme a few minutes. **Returns the simple syrup to the stove and sets candy thermometer to 245F**icon_twisted.gif

 

Originally Posted by kazita 


Can you just make peanut brittle instead I have a craving and I have a broken foot so I can't stand Long enough to make it.
Lol how much will this request cost me? And please remember I have a budget

 

I don't have much money, only what I got selling the umbrella I was going to give to Jason, but can you send me two dozen cupcakes along with some of the brittle?

icon_biggrin.gif

kazita Posted 14 Dec 2012 , 1:15am
post #189 of 3218

AHopefully those cupcakes will be. MOIST lol

shanter Posted 14 Dec 2012 , 1:21am
post #190 of 3218

'Tis the season to have

700

Merry baking wishes to everyone.

shanter Posted 14 Dec 2012 , 1:22am
post #191 of 3218

I want them soggy.

shanter Posted 14 Dec 2012 , 1:29am
post #192 of 3218
Quote:
Originally Posted by FromScratchSF 
Take a bite of chocolate, don't swallow, take a bite of vanilla... chew and swallow.  Voila!  Marble!  Why do I have to bake a special little sample of cake that is just chocolate and vanilla cake baked in the same pan when I've already given the client CHOCOLATE AND VANILLA cake samples?  Is the flavor really that special and complex that some magical transformation happens when those two batters are baked together that completely change the flavor profile from just taking a bite of vanilla cake then taking a bite of chocolate cake and using your imagination that they were baked all in the same pan?

 

Well, if you mixed the two too thoroughly, you might get camel and I know people eat those but I don't know what they taste like. Probably wouldn't be too sweet. icon_wink.gif

kazita Posted 14 Dec 2012 , 1:36am
post #193 of 3218

A

Original message sent by shanter

I want them soggy.

GROSS!!!

step0nmi Posted 14 Dec 2012 , 2:34am
post #194 of 3218
Quote:
Originally Posted by shanter 

I want them soggy.

icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

 

I get so many people asking me about fondant and that "texture". well that's definitely the opposite of soggy ;) 

FromScratchSF Posted 14 Dec 2012 , 2:39am
post #195 of 3218
Quote:
Originally Posted by hbquikcomjamesl 

Well, they might want to make sure your marble cake doesn't come out the consistency of a block of marble. That was, after all, my own biggest concern, the first time I made my strawberry marble cake. And of course, anything added to the batter can screw up the chemistry, so it doesn't all rise evenly (my strawberry marble doesn't; the strawberry veining is slightly, but visibly, depressed.

 

And for that matter, who says a marble cake has to be chocolate marble? There's strawberry marble, and besides, spice marble, by all accounts, was the very first marble cake.

 

-10 FUN POINTS TO YOU!

 

icon_rolleyes.gif

FromScratchSF Posted 14 Dec 2012 , 2:41am
post #196 of 3218
Quote:
Originally Posted by shanter 

 

Well, if you mixed the two too thoroughly, you might get camel and I know people eat those but I don't know what they taste like. Probably wouldn't be too sweet. icon_wink.gif

 

Camel?  As in, a humped animal that lives in the desert?  I've never heard of that.  Huh.  Now I'm interested.  I see experiment coming soon.

kazita Posted 14 Dec 2012 , 3:11am
post #197 of 3218

A

Original message sent by FromScratchSF

Camel?  As in, a humped animal that lives in the desert?  I've never heard of that.  Huh.  Now I'm interested.  I see experiment coming soon.

Camel cake. Yuk!! But would that be the exact oVery Dry in instead of MOIST / Soggy ? Lol

kazita Posted 14 Dec 2012 , 3:17am
post #198 of 3218

AI think that was a typo kinda like one I make here the other day that someone caught. I was going to use Mental cupcake liners instead of saying foil liners. Opps

jgifford Posted 14 Dec 2012 , 4:35am
post #199 of 3218
Quote:
Originally Posted by kazita 

I think that was a typo kinda like one I make here the other day that someone caught. I was going to use Mental cupcake liners instead of saying foil liners. Opps

Does this mean you make psychic cupcakes?  I knew it!

hbquikcomjamesl Posted 14 Dec 2012 , 4:45am
post #200 of 3218
Quote:
Originally Posted by shanter 

I want them soggy.

One batch of tres leches cupcakes, coming up.

mskerrih Posted 14 Dec 2012 , 5:42am
post #201 of 3218
Quote:
Originally Posted by tee94 

A lady once said "I don't like that fondue stuff...is there any way you can make the cake how its supposed to be made?" Implying that it is incorrect to make a 3D cake with fondant......and fondue! She called it fondue!!!!...can you imagine the look on my face?!

hAHAHAHAHA... Is that you Teryn????? so we meet again..... OhHHH the horror!!!!

Crazy-Gray Posted 14 Dec 2012 , 8:58am
post #202 of 3218

OMG I just had to leave the room in a fit of giggles at the typos- now the cat's looking at me like I've two heads- jees!

 

A while back I was asked:

"we'd really love one of your cakes..."

(great start- I'd love to make you one!)

"...but we don't like cake..."

(erm....)

"and there's only 4 of us too..."

(....phone silence from potential customer indicates that they desire a response- I go with: 'so you'd like a small something that looks like a cake but isn't a cake?'

"yes I think so"

I attempt to prise further details- "something savoury perhaps? That's not something I do but I will certainly look into it for you?"

"great, thank you very much!"

.......

lots of time researching and getting advice from lovely CCers

.......

"here are some suggestions, of course I will need extra time to trial recipes for this <Cool but insane> request, and cost-wise you are looking in the region of <research time + trial time + trial ingredients + final ingredients + labour + overheads......>

".....oh......... can we just go with cake- we'll let the kids eat it- thank you- bye"

 

I still plan to trial it properly tho- just out of curiosity! 

de_montsoreau Posted 14 Dec 2012 , 12:35pm
post #203 of 3218

My customers must know about this thread - so one of them delivered something nice this morning, about a consultation scheduled for tomorrow:

 

" Yesterday a friend of ours who likes to bake offered to make the wedding cake for us. Of course that is something we have to look into, so I hope you will not mind me cancelling our consultation for tomorrow. I will come back to you if it doesn't work out, ok?".

 

Of course. Sure. I wish you a wonderful wedding with a wonderful cake. Oh and don't bother to coma back a couple of weeks before the wedding when your friend suddenly realises that making a wedding cake for 120 guests is just ever so slightly beyond her....  icon_biggrin.gif
 

tracyaem Posted 14 Dec 2012 , 1:16pm
post #204 of 3218

Lol, love this thread.

 

I received a form submission from the website a few weeks ago for a "birthday cake for twins that won't break the budget. I don't care what flavor, I just want it cheap".

 

Um, gee. Let's see, I own a cake business which means I make cakes for... wait for it..... money!!! (Gasp!) So starting off the transaction saying you have no interest in giving me money is not going to endear me to you.

 

Anyways, I email back for details (# of people, do they want a certain theme, how old are they, boys or girls, etc) and all I get is "whatever is cheapest".

 

So.... do you want a Mickey cake for a 2-year old or a car cake for a 16 year-old? Perhaps flowers and butterflies, oh wait I still don't know if you're kids are boys, girls, or their ages! Or how many flippin people you need to feed on your "cheap" budget... Ugh.

 

Every once in a while there's that ray of sunshine when a customer walks in and says "I'd like a 9-inch cake in chocolate and peanut butter and here's a picture I like, but feel free to interpret it in whatever style you think works best". But for every one of those, there's 20 behind them who have no freakin clue what they want, but they know they want it cheap, tacky, and moist :)

dawnybird Posted 14 Dec 2012 , 2:08pm
post #205 of 3218
Quote:
Originally Posted by mskerrih 

hAHAHAHAHA... Is that you Teryn????? so we meet again..... OhHHH the horror!!!!


I had someone tell me not to put that "nasty fonduit" on their cake!! It's hard not to laugh!

Crazy-Gray Posted 14 Dec 2012 , 3:05pm
post #206 of 3218
Quote:

a customer walks in and says "I'd like a 9-inch cake in chocolate and peanut butter and here's a picture I like, but feel free to interpret it in whatever style you think works best".

...and they'd be carrying a winged pig under their arm.....

tracyaem Posted 14 Dec 2012 , 3:22pm
post #207 of 3218
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazy-Gray 

...and they'd be carrying a winged pig under their arm.....

 

Lol. I actually had this happen though! I even told her afterwards she was my dream customer and to come back anytime :)

j92383 Posted 14 Dec 2012 , 4:25pm
post #208 of 3218

I had a customer contact me through facebook a couple of months ago requesting a qoute for a 2 tier zebra fondant cake with a hot pink bow for 20 people. I went through all the back and forth messages and finally qouted her a price of $126 and she wrote me back "that's great I'm so excited!!!! By the way you do accept food stamps right.

 

I was in public when I read it and had everyone looking at me like I was crazy I just could not stop laughing. Once I settled down I was a little outraged that someone would try to use money that was probably provided to feed their kids to throw a fancy birthday party for themselves.

carmijok Posted 14 Dec 2012 , 5:14pm
post #209 of 3218
Quote:
Originally Posted by tee94 

A lady once said "I don't like that fondue stuff...is there any way you can make the cake how its supposed to be made?" Implying that it is incorrect to make a 3D cake with fondant......and fondue! She called it fondue!!!!...can you imagine the look on my face?!


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  Response:   "I rarely dip my cakes in melted cheese!" 

SpeciallyYours Posted 14 Dec 2012 , 5:27pm
post #210 of 3218
Quote:
Originally Posted by cakeyouverymuch 

After we pours the simple sirop on them precious, can we pours them little tiny teeny cookie sprinkles on them too?


You are absolutely hysterical!!!   (and I LOVE the Hobbit...am re-reading it now prior to seeing the new movie)

Quote by @%username% on %date%

%body%