things NOT to ask/say to a baker!

Decorating By step0nmi Updated 11 Jan 2016 , 1:15am by Apti

owatto Posted 13 May 2013 , 9:03pm
post #1111 of 3199

A

Original message sent by hbquikcomjamesl

Why would one [I]cow[/I] mount another, anyway? I didn't think there were lesbian cattle, but if there are, I'd say that it's probably their own business.

Now a [U][I][B]BULL[/B][/I][/U] mounting ("servicing") a cow would be perfectly normal. Copulating kine are a familiar sight to anybody raised on a farm. Not one I've seen myself, but I've occasionally seen other animals getting amorous at various zoos.

Actually, if they are doing Artificial insemination, they use the mounting of said lesbian cows as a sign that the girls are at the right time of their cycle to get pregnant. (I am a qualified AI technician, haven't done it for awhile though) I don't think I would like to eat that cake though, but icky!

Cakery2012 Posted 14 May 2013 , 1:01am
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ellavanilla 

NO! NO! NO! It's cake, not a science experiment! No one wants a cake of cows copulating or giving birth! 

To quote Chris Rock, "Just because you can do it, doesn't mean it's to be done."

 

Just ugh! Can I add to the list, Cakes with breasts AND penises? Or just any cake with pubic hair? W.T.H?? 

 

It's a cake, a delicious confectionery miracle, made of all the best ingredients nature ever created. Why would you want it to look like some kind of abomination? 

 

A cake with one cow mounting another? Why would you ever?

 

*snort*

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by ellavanilla 

NO! NO! NO! It's cake, not a science experiment! No one wants a cake of cows copulating or giving birth! 

To quote Chris Rock, "Just because you can do it, doesn't mean it's to be done."

 

Just ugh! Can I add to the list, Cakes with breasts AND penises? Or just any cake with pubic hair? W.T.H?? 

 

It's a cake, a delicious confectionery miracle, made of all the best ingredients nature ever created. Why would you want it to look like some kind of abomination? 

 

A cake with one cow mounting another? Why would you ever?

 

*snort*

My thoughts exactly ! also the cake of a dead body I saw in the private forum here . May I add also pregnancy cakes or the big baby cakes. One of the weirdest is the Kitty litter cake , no thanks !!! Who came up with that ?

jenjenpower Posted 14 May 2013 , 3:50am
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Hi guys, I'm new.  =)

 

For Mother's Day, I baked a homemade red velvet cake with the traditional flour based frosting, and decorated it with modeling chocolate roses.  My brother-in-law said that it was good, even though I used "cool whip" instead of cream cheese frosting.  I said, "it isn't cool whip...".  He replied, "well I figured you put something else in the cool whip".  I told him that I'd made a completely homemade whipped frosting and shook my head.  It tastes nothing like cool whip!

Annabakescakes Posted 14 May 2013 , 4:56am
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jenjenpower 

Hi guys, I'm new.  =)

 

For Mother's Day, I baked a homemade red velvet cake with the traditional flour based frosting, and decorated it with modeling chocolate roses.  My brother-in-law said that it was good, even though I used "cool whip" instead of cream cheese frosting.  I said, "it isn't cool whip...".  He replied, "well I figured you put something else in the cool whip".  I told him that I'd made a completely homemade whipped frosting and shook my head.  It tastes nothing like cool whip!

Jeez! No, it does not taste like cool whip! But I would love to know the recipe, if he thought it was ;-)

Annabakescakes Posted 14 May 2013 , 4:57am
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazy-Gray 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Annabakescakes 



Wait, do you mean a cake that has both breasts and penis?? O.O

..... Can't.... Breathe.... Death.... By... Laughter... Wheeze.... Oh the imagery in my brain....

I totally needed that, just came home to find my freezer defrosted icon_sad.gif humph... At least I get 14 sausages and 2 chickens for dinner B-)

Glad I could help ;-)

jenjenpower Posted 14 May 2013 , 5:09pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Annabakescakes 

Jeez! No, it does not taste like cool whip! But I would love to know the recipe, if he thought it was ;-)

I use the recipe found here: http://obsessedwithbaking.blogspot.com/2009/02/flour-frosting.html  The only difference between this one and others that I've seen is that the sugar is cooked with the roux instead of creamed in with the sugar.

 

My brother-in-law just isn't exactly what you would call a "foodie".  =)

jenjenpower Posted 14 May 2013 , 11:04pm
post #1117 of 3199
Quote:
Originally Posted by jenjenpower 

I use the recipe found here: http://obsessedwithbaking.blogspot.com/2009/02/flour-frosting.html  The only difference between this one and others that I've seen is that the sugar is cooked with the roux instead of creamed in with the butter.

 

My brother-in-law just isn't exactly what you would call a "foodie".  =)

Next time I should proofread lol

vgcea Posted 14 May 2013 , 11:43pm
post #1118 of 3199
Quote:
Originally Posted by ellavanilla 

Just ugh! Can I add to the list, Cakes with breasts AND penises? Or just any cake with pubic hair? W.T.H?? 

 

It's a cake, a delicious confectionery miracle, made of all the best ingredients nature ever created. Why would you want it to look like some kind of abomination? 

 

 

Hey! Hold up now. Depending on who you ask boobs and phalluses are ... never mind. I just know that if I polled 900,000,000 straight  men and asked them to reach for cake or boobs, cake's delicious confectionery feelings are going to be very hurt.

 

*And this thread is officially WEIRD*

hbquikcomjamesl Posted 15 May 2013 , 1:46am
post #1119 of 3199
Quote:
Originally Posted by vgcea 

*And this thread is officially WEIRD*

 

You're just noticing this now? I noticed it back around the top of Page 65.

Annabakescakes Posted 15 May 2013 , 3:26am
post #1120 of 3199

A

Original message sent by jenjenpower

[QUOTE name="jenjenpower" url="/t/751860/things-not-to-ask-say-to-a-baker/1065#post_7393668"] I use the recipe found here: http://obsessedwithbaking.blogspot.com/2009/02/flour-frosting.html   The only difference between this one and others that I've seen is that the sugar is cooked with the roux instead of creamed in with the [B]butter[/B].

My brother-in-law just isn't exactly what you would call a "foodie".  =) [/QUOTE] Next time I should proofread lol

thank you! I want to keep trying with this because I had one at a bak sale that was wonderful! I used to like my recipe, but now it seems too heavy and greasy after trying the other!

Annabakescakes Posted 15 May 2013 , 3:36am
post #1121 of 3199

A

Original message sent by vgcea

[QUOTE name="ellavanilla" url="/t/751860/things-not-to-ask-say-to-a-baker/1065#post_7393346"] Just ugh! Can I add to the list, Cakes with breasts AND penises? Or just any cake with pubic hair? W.T.H?? 

It's a cake, a delicious confectionery miracle, made of all the best ingredients nature ever created. Why would you want it to look like some kind of abomination? 

[/QUOTE] Hey! Hold up now. Depending on who you ask boobs and phalluses [I]are ... [/I]never mind. I just know that if I polled 900,000,000 straight  men and asked them to reach for cake or boobs, cake's delicious confectionery feelings are going to be very hurt.

*And this thread is officially WEIRD*

Add my 4 year old to that list hurting cake's feelings. He is crazy for women and boobs. He is always pawing at mine, and will kiss them goodnight... I keep hoping he'll stop, and even told him they are for babies, and try to discourage it every single time, but he is persistent!! He says,"but I like boobies!" I am okay with him liking boobies, but afraid he is going to be weirded out by it when he is older, lol.

tahera1990 Posted 15 May 2013 , 4:20am
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AIm a new beginner in baking but have no intention of opening a bakery or anything i just want to kno how to decorate a cake using right frosting since i have a huge family and all love cakes and cupcakes..after reading these posts Would it be wrong if i asked how to make frosting the right way or what type to use? Lol i dont want to offend anyone lol

Lovebug2867 Posted 15 May 2013 , 4:34am
post #1123 of 3199
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pyro 

I always bake from scratch and my friend asked last minute if I would make her cake. She said " I've got a box mix already ".  I was like suuuuure, I'll toss in a cup of water, some oil and 3 eggs in there for you *yawn*. I didn't mind since it made her happy. But when it was served my friend was all " he made my cake for meeeeeeee ", but then an other friend to whom I made a few cakes came and said " THIS IS THE BEST CAKE YOU EVER MADEEEEE ".... If I make you a chocolate and ganache cake with callebaut chocolate and this box taste better, no more cake for you.           -.-

 

Not to disagree with about everyone on this site but some people have texture issues and the texture of homemade cake just doesn't agree with us. I much prefer a box mix doctored up a bit to a homemade cake and I've made plenty of from scratch cakes for others lol.

vgcea Posted 15 May 2013 , 6:40am
post #1124 of 3199
Quote:
Originally Posted by hbquikcomjamesl 

 

You're just noticing this now? I noticed it back around the top of Page 65.

 

LOL! I must have a high tolerance for weirdness.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Annabakescakes 


Add my 4 year old to that list hurting cake's feelings. He is crazy for women and boobs. He is always pawing at mine, and will kiss them goodnight... I keep hoping he'll stop, and even told him they are for babies, and try to discourage it every single time, but he is persistent!! He says,"but I like boobies!" I am okay with him liking boobies, but afraid he is going to be weirded out by it when he is older, lol.

LOLOL!!!!! Hopefully he figures out a way to like them in socially acceptable ways when he's much older... when it stops being cute to reach for boobies. LOL!

Annabakescakes Posted 15 May 2013 , 1:13pm
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A[quote name="vgcea"] [QUOTE name="Annabakescakes" url="/t/751860/things-not-to-ask-say-to-a-baker/1080#post_7393871"] Add my 4 year old to that list hurting cake's feelings. He is crazy for women and boobs. He is always pawing at mine, and will kiss them goodnight... I keep hoping he'll stop, and even told him they are for babies, and try to discourage it every single time, but he is persistent!! He says,[B]"but I like boobies!"[/B] I am okay with him liking boobies, but afraid he is going to be weirded out by it when he is older, lol.[/QUOTE] LOLOL!!!!! Hopefully he figures out a way to like them in socially acceptable ways when he's much older... when it stops being cute to reach for boobies. LOL! [/quote] I know, right? He has been weaned for over 2 years, and is never weird in public, but has a fascination with women. We were at a gas station and his daddy was pumping gas, and the boy, 3 at the time pointed out a lady that got out to throw something away, she was matronly, heavy, with grey hair and a knee high bunched around her ankle and he got his crinkly smile and sparkly eyes, and said, "Mommy, pretty girl!" I bet that would've made her day! He flirts with every woman he sees, he gets shy, and hides behind me, and peeks out at them, then tries to give them his toys. He doesn't care if they are 4 - 99, thin - morbidly obese, and black-white and any shade in between. I have seen him flirt with some really questionable characters at Walmart and have later asked him if all girls are pretty, and he looks at me like I am stupid and says,"Yeah, mama!" He never reaches for their boobs, but points out cleavage to his father and me, lol.

MissMona Posted 15 May 2013 , 2:13pm
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Whew....finished all 73 pages last night!  ;)  LOVING this thread btw.  

So, here's my addition of what to NEVER say to your baker.....

I got a call from a lady asking to meet and discuss her mother's 100th Bday!!!!  I was thrilled to be asked to do such a milestone and back then I showed that sort of thing!  (I've learned from this!)  ;)  She wants something really nice, large, four or five tiers.....fondant....roses, go crazy!  So we sit and design the cake, discuss flavors, the whole bit....she even wants cream cheese mints....when we get to price and she hears what this will cost her....she counter offers half!  She says, and I kid you NOT, "Since you are so excited to be a part of Mother's bday, you can make the other half your gift to her!"  (I've never met these people before!!!!)

j92383 Posted 15 May 2013 , 2:43pm
post #1127 of 3199
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissMona 

Whew....finished all 73 pages last night!  ;)  LOVING this thread btw.  

So, here's my addition of what to NEVER say to your baker.....

I got a call from a lady asking to meet and discuss her mother's 100th Bday!!!!  I was thrilled to be asked to do such a milestone and back then I showed that sort of thing!  (I've learned from this!)  ;)  She wants something really nice, large, four or five tiers.....fondant....roses, go crazy!  So we sit and design the cake, discuss flavors, the whole bit....she even wants cream cheese mints....when we get to price and she hears what this will cost her....she counter offers half!  She says, and I kid you NOT, "Since you are so excited to be a part of Mother's bday, you can make the other half your gift to her!"  (I've never met these people before!!!!)

LMAO.. the nerve of  some people. No lady I was excited by the amount of money I thought I would make on a cake of this magnitude, not about being part of some old lady I've never met birthday.  

Annabakescakes Posted 15 May 2013 , 3:33pm
post #1128 of 3199

A

Original message sent by j92383

[QUOTE name="MissMona" url="/t/751860/things-not-to-ask-say-to-a-baker/1080#post_7393989"] Whew....finished all 73 pages last night!  ;)  LOVING this thread btw.   So, here's my addition of what to NEVER say to your baker..... I got a call from a lady asking to meet and discuss her mother's 100th Bday!!!!  I was thrilled to be asked to do such a milestone and back then I showed that sort of thing!  (I've learned from this!)  ;)  She wants something really nice, large, four or five tiers.....fondant....roses, go crazy!  So we sit and design the cake, discuss flavors, the whole bit....she even wants cream cheese mints....when we get to price and she hears what this will cost her....she counter offers half!  She says, and I kid you NOT, "Since you are so excited to be a part of Mother's bday, you can make the other half your gift to her!"  (I've never met these people before!!!!) [/QUOTE] LMAO.. the nerve of  some people. No lady I was excited by the amount of money I thought I would make on a cake of this magnitude, not about being part of some old lady I've never met birthday.  

Haha! I love the nerve, and the response! I am lmbo!!

kikiandkyle Posted 15 May 2013 , 4:53pm
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AUnbelievable! Just when you think you've heard it all, there's a new page on this thread!

LoveMeSomeCake615 Posted 15 May 2013 , 4:53pm
post #1130 of 3199
Quote:
Originally Posted by ellavanilla 

Just ugh! Can I add to the list, Cakes with breasts AND penises? Or just any cake with pubic hair? W.T.H?? 

 

It's a cake, a delicious confectionery miracle, made of all the best ingredients nature ever created. Why would you want it to look like some kind of abomination? 

THANK YOU! We don't do adult/novelty cakes, and we hardly ever get requests for them, but every once in a while we will. I was checking email the other day and suddenly had an eyeful of an *ahem* male torso and a little lower in cake. It's one thing to have someone ask about a cake like that, but to have them send me a HUGE picture of it in my email when I wasn't expecting it! Yikes! icon_surprised.gif

hbquikcomjamesl Posted 15 May 2013 , 5:04pm
post #1131 of 3199
Quote:
Originally Posted by Annabakescakes 

Add my 4 year old to that list hurting cake's feelings. He is crazy for women and boobs. He is always pawing at mine, and will kiss them goodnight... I keep hoping he'll stop, and even told him they are for babies, and try to discourage it every single time, but he is persistent!! He says,"but I like boobies!" I am okay with him liking boobies, but afraid he is going to be weirded out by it when he is older, lol.

 

Precocious kid, isn't he?

 

Reminds me of an old Robin Williams stand-up bit, about the first thoughts running through a baby's mind: "Are those two _______ for me? Wow! Adjusting the volume!"

 

And of course, of George Carlin's comments about the seventh on his list of the Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television ("Sounds like a snack! Yes, I know, it is, but I don't mean . . .")

 

Now THAT'S truly weird: all the language that's been bandied about here lately, and the autocensor kicks in on a 3-letter word referring to biological gender, embedded in another word referring to a belief that one biological gender is superior to the other.

mariets Posted 15 May 2013 , 5:16pm
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Auto censor make me laugh Here in the UK we have places called Es$ex and Sus$ex, but because they end in the three letter gender word,they don't get through!

ellavanilla Posted 15 May 2013 , 5:25pm
post #1133 of 3199
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissMona 

Whew....finished all 73 pages last night!  ;)  LOVING this thread btw.  

So, here's my addition of what to NEVER say to your baker.....

I got a call from a lady asking to meet and discuss her mother's 100th Bday!!!!  I was thrilled to be asked to do such a milestone and back then I showed that sort of thing!  (I've learned from this!)  ;)  She wants something really nice, large, four or five tiers.....fondant....roses, go crazy!  So we sit and design the cake, discuss flavors, the whole bit....she even wants cream cheese mints....when we get to price and she hears what this will cost her....she counter offers half!  She says, and I kid you NOT, "Since you are so excited to be a part of Mother's bday, you can make the other half your gift to her!"  (I've never met these people before!!!!)

 

I wonder if I can find a cleaning lady who will get excited about cleaning my house for half price...

Cakemommy2012 Posted 15 May 2013 , 7:20pm
post #1134 of 3199

 I just got finished quoting a friend a price to do a small cake for her (9' double layer round Strawberry cake filled with Chocolate ganache with a British Flag painted on the side)

 

When she heard the quote she replied that Walmart cakes are under $20 for a 1/4 sheet. 

 

I, then replied back "Yes, however Walmart for one does not offer ganache or strawberry cake and for 2 their cakes are pulled out of the freezer, frozen and slice up to size and have icing slapped on from a bucket...I am making you a FRESH Strawberry cake from scratch, with homemade ganache using high quality chocolate, and hand painting a flag on the side"  to which she quite irritatedly replied "Well can't you just match Walmart's price since we are good friends?"

 

Sadly the price difference was less than $10.00 and she decided to go with Walmart!!!!   SIGH!

virago Posted 15 May 2013 , 7:25pm
post #1135 of 3199
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cakemommy2012 

 I just got finished quoting a friend a price to do a small cake for her (9' double layer round Strawberry cake filled with Chocolate ganache with a British Flag painted on the side)

 

When she heard the quote she replied that Walmart cakes are under $20 for a 1/4 sheet. 

 

I, then replied back "Yes, however Walmart for one does not offer ganache or strawberry cake and for 2 their cakes are pulled out of the freezer, frozen and slice up to size and have icing slapped on from a bucket...I am making you a FRESH Strawberry cake from scratch, with homemade ganache using high quality chocolate, and hand painting a flag on the side"  to which she quite irritatedly replied "Well can't you just match Walmart's price since we are good friends?"

 

Sadly the price difference was less than $10.00 and she decided to go with Walmart!!!!   SIGH!

OMG! who's getting the "good" part of friendship???

Rosie93095 Posted 15 May 2013 , 7:33pm
post #1136 of 3199

A similar thing happened to me! except it was a family member.... Got a call from a cousin that she wants me to do her mom's birthday cake, and sends me a picture of a tour tiered fondant covered cake with tons of detail, and after discussing just what she wants, I give her a "family" discount price of $200. and she almost has a fit at the cost. We settled on a 2 tier with 40 cupcakes at a lesser price....

ellavanilla Posted 15 May 2013 , 7:40pm
post #1137 of 3199

AIcing from a bucket... YUM!

And you get all of this too!![IMG]http://cakecentral.com/content/type/61/id/3008275/width/200/height/400[/IMG]

Sparklekat6 Posted 15 May 2013 , 7:46pm
post #1138 of 3199
Quote:
Originally Posted by ellavanilla 

Icing from a bucket... YUM!

And you get all of this too!!

SEE!!!!  It's not just some flour and sugar!  Take that cake muggles! ;)~

Cakemommy2012 Posted 15 May 2013 , 8:11pm
post #1139 of 3199
Quote:
Originally Posted by ellavanilla 

Icing from a bucket... YUM!

And you get all of this too!!


YUM!  LOL  Totally need the Phosphoric Acid and Modified Celluose!! Those are super important!

Cakemommy2012 Posted 15 May 2013 , 8:13pm
post #1140 of 3199
Quote:
Originally Posted by virago 

OMG! who's getting the "good" part of friendship???


That's what I was wondering!!!  I was mortified! I practically laughed in her face and said I don't make cake to throw away my money! It's sad to see where your TRUE friendships lie!

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