BellaSweet Posted 24 Sep 2012 , 3:03am
post #1 of

Hi guys! I have had somewhat of a heavy heart the past couple of weeks.
There is a local business I do cakes for every month for the employees birthdays. It is the mom who orders the cakes for everyone. Well, a couple of weeks ago her son, who also works there and is a friend of mine, wanted a cake for her...for the next morning! icon_eek.gif it was for her birthday. Here's my problem: I bake from home and dont keep everything on hand. I also homeschool(that is a priority), and my daughter had dance and piano practice on the day of decorating. Simply, I didn't have the time. However, her son called back and asked if I was sure i couldn't make it and why not. So I explained my situation to him. He is a great friend, but a difficult client. This is not his first last minute request. So last week, one week after her birthday i get a call from the son, my friend, and he wants to know if i want to keep doing the cakes for the business. He says he is asking because it sounds like i am overwhelmed and don't have time. I explained it was only because it was such last minute and i require 2 weeks notice for all orders. Needless to say the call ended very abruptly and awkward. His mom is my contact for all the orders. I would love to have done something beautiful and special.for her, i have known her for 10 years. Now my question is, do you think it would be too late to do something for her? Decorated sugar cookies? A cake? Personally, i would love to do it for her birthday even if its late, and to show my appreciation for the abundance of business she brings. What do you think?
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22 replies
Diana81 Posted 24 Sep 2012 , 3:26am
post #2 of

My thought on this is... IS HE OUT OF HIS MIND??? he s a manipulative fool. He abuses his power because you re a nice lady, taking advantage of that! Is he crazy?? Forget them if they don t ask your for your services anymore, good riddance. NEVER LET ANYONE take advantage of your kindness and defend your sanity by standing for yourself. You will get other opportunities way better ones!!!

jason_kraft Posted 24 Sep 2012 , 3:42am
post #3 of

I would discuss this with the mom directly, since she is the one who handles the orders.

Elcee Posted 24 Sep 2012 , 4:00am
post #4 of

I think he's in hot water with his mom for not getting her a cake and trying to pawn it off on you! "But, Mom, I did try to get you a cake but the cake lady was too busy taking her kids to piano lessons!" Conveniently leaving out the part about the one day notice.

If I were you, next time I spoke with her I'd tell her how disappointed you were not to be able to make her a birthday cake but that one day notice is just too short. AND, I'd make note of when her birthday is and deliver a cake to her next year, whether or not her son remembers to order one for her icon_wink.gif.

DeniseNH Posted 24 Sep 2012 , 4:39am
post #5 of

I agree. He was using your fear of losing the monthly orders to finagle a last minute cake for Mom from you. I wouldn't go out of my way to approach the lady but the next time she calls to place the monthly order or let you know what flavor they'd like, tell her how disappointed you were to have one days notice because you need more time to do the kind of cake she deserves.

fcakes Posted 24 Sep 2012 , 5:05pm
post #6 of

Agree with the others that do mention it to the mom that you were disappointed you couldn't make something for her birthday because her son only told you a day before and you couldn't work it into your schedule since you need 2 weeks' notice for orders.

Actually, maybe you could take a dozen cupcakes or something for her, tell her you would've loved to make something for her b'day and mention the above to her. This way she knows that you wanted to do something but couldn't.

JanDunlevy Posted 24 Sep 2012 , 5:39pm
post #7 of

Jason hit it right on the nose! Mom may not even know what transpired and sounds like the son is trying to pass the buck for some last minute plans on his part!

MarianInFL Posted 24 Sep 2012 , 7:22pm
post #8 of

But maybe you could keep a cake and buttercream in your freezer if something like this happens in the future. And some royal icing flowers that could just be popped on. The son doesn't sound like a great person, but if he isn't the one that handles cakes, it probably didn't occur to him until someone asked him if he ordered one.

When my kids lived at home, they never thought to get a cake for me until the day of my birthday.

BellaSweet Posted 24 Sep 2012 , 7:46pm
post #9 of

Thanks so much for all the advice. You helped me not to feel so bad. I felt manipulated as if i was the one who did something wrong. Thank you all. I will definitely send my apologies for not making a cake, but wasnt given sufficient notice. I think I may take cupcakes like fcakes said.

Diana81 Posted 24 Sep 2012 , 7:56pm

You did nothing wrong.

BellaSweet Posted 24 Sep 2012 , 8:04pm

You're right Diana. My frustration also lies in that this us is not the firat time he has done that. The first time he texted 3 days before valentines daay asking for 3 different cakes and if I could cut him a deal. I buckled under preasure and said yes. I wanted the business to see my work and start ordering from me. Which that worked. The second time he texted a request for an order for his parents' anniversary at 5 oclock in the afternoon wanting a cake for them the next morning. Again I buckled but told him next time I require 2 weeks advance notice. I thought anniversaries and birthdays held the same date every year? icon_confused.gif

Diana81 Posted 24 Sep 2012 , 8:17pm

Lol! @ the comment about anniversary and bday dates! OMG! Don t give in to his ridiculous requests anymore, no matter what. I understand u because for a long time I let people take advantage of me because it was hard for me to say no. I became frustrated and bitter inside while smiling like nothing happened. Well God taught me to love myself and learn to say no, no matter how hard it was. Today I can tell u that I m never going back to that old Diana. People will abuse you and not care while you are stressing out and damaging your body and peace of mind. That s enough. U ll never regret saying no when u see how much peace of mind u get from it. A few days ago, someone wanted yo Gabba Gabba cupcakes in two days. It was hard for me, but I said: no, there s a two week notice for orders. They never responded but I knew I did he right thing for me and my family. The family ends up paying too when u re all stressed out because of some inconsiderate costumer that thinks that making cakes and decorating them is like fixing yourself a cup of tea. Manipulative people are very dangerous to your mental health if u allow them to rule over you. icon_smile.gif)

jenmat Posted 24 Sep 2012 , 8:41pm

How about a birthday card to Mom with a gift cert for some cupcakes whenever she'd like?
Just explain the situation short and sweet, but tell her you know how hard she works and she deserves some yummies.
You look like the champ, he gets put back in his place.... icon_smile.gif

BellaSweet Posted 24 Sep 2012 , 8:47pm

Diana you are so right about the stress. When I took last minute orders, I was under so much stress I became snippy about everything. I get the part about family suffers. I'm glad i said no. I've got a cake coming up for them in a few weeks. We'll see how it goes. LOL

Diana81 Posted 24 Sep 2012 , 8:52pm

Well at least they got this one right! They ordered when they should have. thumbs_up.gif

cownsj Posted 24 Sep 2012 , 11:58pm

If you do want to say something, I wouldn't even make reference to the order, but I might say something to effect of, "oh, I heard about your birthday the day before. I wish I had known sooner, I would have loved to have made a cake for you." And if you wanted to add more, you could add that it's because she's always been so good to you.

DeliciousDesserts Posted 25 Sep 2012 , 12:06pm

Mark your calendar. Next year, you won't need to be asked/reminded.

As others mentioned, have a conversation with her about it. Then, next year surprise her!

BabyGerald Posted 25 Sep 2012 , 1:17pm

So sorry about your situation, but glad to see the prevailing advice is to not beat yourself up about someone else's mistake (the son.) You've done nothing but right by the mom, it sounds.

As for next year and the "mark your calendar" approach, I would never never have a cake/BC ready without an order in place. (2 weeks notice.) I suppose the plan with that would be to satisfy the son's future-last-minute order? Or to contact the son asking him if he's ready to order a cake for his mom? (complete with follow-up until he's ready?) Uh, no way. I would never keep reinforcing the poor-planning habit. Imagine if you had other clients, too, who started expecting that last-minute orders are perfectly fine with you and you started prepping cakes for orders that haven't been made? That's not a business, it's a birthday cake charity. JMHO

If you don't want to totally alienate the son, gently remind him to set a Google calendar reminder 3 weeks before his mom's b'day that says "order cake for mum." Mention that it works in your household, etc.

Good luck
-j

vgcea Posted 25 Sep 2012 , 2:33pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BabyGerald

So sorry about your situation, but glad to see the prevailing advice is to not beat yourself up about someone else's mistake (the son.) You've done nothing but right by the mom, it sounds.

As for next year and the "mark your calendar" approach, I would never never have a cake/BC ready without an order in place. (2 weeks notice.) I suppose the plan with that would be to satisfy the son's future-last-minute order? Or to contact the son asking him if he's ready to order a cake for his mom? (complete with follow-up until he's ready?) Uh, no way. I would never keep reinforcing the poor-planning habit. Imagine if you had other clients, too, who started expecting that last-minute orders are perfectly fine with you and you started prepping cakes for orders that haven't been made? That's not a business, it's a birthday cake charity. JMHO

If you don't want to totally alienate the son, gently remind him to set a Google calendar reminder 3 weeks before his mom's b'day that says "order cake for mum." Mention that it works in your household, etc.

Good luck
-j




Amen to that. OP, that guy is a tool; pay him no mind. And don't let him or anyone ever take advantage of your beautiful spirit.

lilmissbakesalot Posted 25 Sep 2012 , 2:55pm

I'm with BabyGerald 100%. I would NEVER have a cake and BC ready in the freezer for a just incase order. That is ingredients wasted in my book, and all you would be doing is teaching this customer (and any other customers) that they don't need to abide by your policies. Don't call ahead either... again... reinforcing bad habits. You teach people how to treat you/value your time and enery... don't teach him that you will bend to his demands because he is a tool.

You did nothing wrong... the last thing you want to do is stress and not be able to do everything with your daughter for a cake order when the poor planning had nothing to do with you.

DeliciousDesserts Posted 25 Sep 2012 , 11:53pm

Just wanted to clarify....when I said mark your calendar & surprise her, I meant just that. I wouldn't reinforce the son either.

The OP stated this is a very good client. One small free cake a year to celebrate her birthday is a wonderful way to say thank you.

BellaSweet Posted 26 Sep 2012 , 1:03am

Thanks everyone for such great advice. I think I have decided that I am going to make her cookies or a cake. I am not going to mention the son though. Even though he acted in such a shameful way, I am not in the business of throwing anyone under the bus. icon_biggrin.gif I am going to tell her I heard it was her birthday a couple of weeka ago and wanted to do something for her even if its late. I think she would appreciate that. She is very easy to make happy. icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif

Diana81 Posted 26 Sep 2012 , 1:31am

That s sweet of you. icon_smile.gif She ll appreciate it.

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