atudor4 Posted 11 Aug 2012 , 2:11am
post #1 of

Ok, I'm new to this game so I need some expert opinions. I am a pastry chef in training with Wilton classes under my belt. I am a home baker trying to get enough business to open a bakery some day......

http://www.a-family-affair-fort-wayne.com/[/url]

38 replies
shanter Posted 11 Aug 2012 , 4:11am
post #2 of

That link takes me to a page that says "The page you requested no longer exists." but it does have your site map. I haven't read your pages yet, but I did notice one consistent thing: The type is big enough that I can read it! *Thank you!!!*

jason_kraft Posted 11 Aug 2012 , 4:14am
post #3 of

A good start. I recommend fleshing out the home page a little more (perhaps including more pictures of your products), streamlining the menu section (too many pages), and getting rid of the "Where to find us" page since it doesn't seem to be adding any value.

Your price list also needs to be reorganized, maybe put the pans on a separate page or have that section hidden by default. You'll also want to make sure you are legally allowed to sell cakes made with all the character pans you have listed, some are for home use only.

Some serious work needs to be done on the copy as well, there are issues with spelling, grammar, clarity, and redundancy.

Last but not least, that URL has got to go. You're going to go nuts if you have to say it out loud more than a few times a day.

aundrea Posted 11 Aug 2012 , 4:46am
post #4 of

i agree its a great start.
i didnt see a photo gallery. and i personally dont like the word "pans" that are available. in reference to describing what kind of cakes you make.
also, you have pics of wilton pans but not a picture of the cake that you make.
and just wondering if the cakes on top part, i believe its wedding cakes are your cakes? if they are-you should definately highlight those, because very well done.
i honestly didnt look much into the website. because the pricing was confusing for me.
in all honestly you are definately on the right path. good luck with your businesour s.
also, just remember, alot of what you are advertising to make is copyright cakes.
i dont know what the laws are in your state (or if the state you live in actually matters) but ive heard that you need permission to sell copyrighted cakes.
i could be wrong so dont just take my word for it.

mommachris Posted 11 Aug 2012 , 6:08am
post #5 of

If I were you, I'd re-word the wedding cake section. Don't use 'unpleasant surprise' as it puts fear into the heart of a bride.
Better to talk about" your special attention to detail, creating unique cake art that helps express the style of each bride and groom."

mommachris

CWR41 Posted 11 Aug 2012 , 6:23am
post #6 of

I'm no expert, but it looks good. Personally, I think there are too many things to click on that takes me away to get lost. I would rather follow the menu bar to see it all and for better flow.

If you're also asking for proofreading help, here are some things that I noticed...

Home:
We can customize any cake, cupcake, or mini cake to suite your theme.
suit

About Us:
At A Family Affair we're committed to using only the finest and freshest ingredients in everything we make.
At A Family Affair, we're committed to using only the finest and freshest ingredients in everything we make.

The Menu:
And after just one bite, you'll understand why our customers keep coming back for more of our fresh breads, cakes and cookies.
breads, cakes, and cookies.

Weddings:
At A Family Affair we understand the importance of an impressive looking (and tasting) wedding cake on your big day.
At A Family Affair, we understand the importance of an impressive-looking (and -tasting) wedding cake on your big day.

Birthdays:
Give us your theme or color scheme and we will coordinate a beautiful masterpiece sure to garner oooh's and aaaah's.
ooohs and aaaahs.

Traditional cakes:
Traditional Cakes

Our made from scratch cakes are a fantastic way to accent a special dinner or party.
Our made-from-scratch cakes are a fantastic way to accent a special dinner or party.

Gourmet Cake Flavors-

Almond Jump for Joy- Rich chocolate almond cake
Almond Jump for Joy- Rich chocolate-almond cake (To be consistent with your other hyphenated descriptions...
Black Forest- Chocolate-cherry cake filled with chocolate truffle & cherry filling.
Cappuccino- Milk chocolate-cappuccino cake filled with cappuccino truffle & thick cream.
Cherry Vanilla- Alternating layers of cherry & vanilla cakes filled with cherry chocolate-chip ricotta filling.)

Chocolate Covered Cherry- Cherry chocolate-chip cake filled with chocolate cherry truffle.
Chocolate-covered Cherry- Cherry chocolate-chip cake filled with chocolate cherry truffle.

Chocolate Dipped Strawberry-
Chocolate-dipped Strawberry-

Cinnabon-bon- Cinnamon swirl cake filled with sweat cream cheese.
sweet

PB fudge-
PB Fudge-

A note about cakes- Not all character pans or 3D cakes can be filled. Please call & enquire.
inquire (U.S.)

Cupcakes:
We can whip up a dozen (or 3 or 4 ) cupcakes for your next event.
We can whip up a dozen (or 3 or 4) cupcakes for your next event.

Basic Cupcake Flavors (topped with vanilla butter cream)
buttercream

Apricot Almond- White almond sour cream cupcakes filled with apricot puree & frosted with Amaretto butter cream.
buttercream

Black Forest- Chocolate cherry cupcakes filled with cherry filling & frosted with vanilla butter cream with a cherry on top.
buttercream

Blueberry Dream- Sour cream cupcakes filled with blueberry puree & frosted with cheesecake butter cream.
buttercream

Chai Latte- Exotic chai spice cupcakes topped with vanilla butter cream.
buttercream

Cherry Vanilla Thrilla- Cherry & vanilla swirled cupcakes filled with chocolate-chip ricotta filling then topped with butter cream & a cherry on top.
buttercream

Citrus Twister- Orange & lemon swirled cupcakes filled with lemon curd & topped with orange butter cream.
buttercream

Expresso Chip- Mocha chip cupcake topped with espresso buttercream.
Expresso Chip- Mocha-chip cupcake topped with espresso buttercream.

Expresso Chip- Mocha chip cupcake topped with espresso buttercream.
(Did you mean to spell "Expresso" and "espresso" differently or consistently?)

Irish Cream- Baileys Irish Cream cupcake topped with Baileys chocolate butter cream.
buttercream

Kahlua- A dark chocolate kahlua cupcake, topped with Kahlua butter cream.
Kahlua- A dark chocolate Kahlua cupcake, topped with Kahlua butter cream.

Kahlua- A dark chocolate kahlua cupcake, topped with Kahlua butter cream.
buttercream

Key Lime Devine-
Key Lime Divine-
Key lime cupcake filled with key lime curd, topped with vanilla butter cream.
buttercream

Margaritaville- Rich margarita cupcake filled with lime cheesecake, topped with vanilla butter cream.
buttercream

Orange Dreamsicle- Orange cupcake filled with vanilla mousse, topped with orange butter cream.
buttercream

Pink Champagne- Pink champagne cupcake filled with cheesecake mousse, topped with butter cream & dusted with pink sugar crystals.
buttercream

Root Beer Floats- Root beer cupcake filled with thick vanilla cream, topped with vanilla butter cream.
buttercream

Caramel Apple-tini
Caramel Appletini

Kahula Mudslide
Kahlua Mudslide

Pina Colada
Piña Colada

Cookies:
People cant get enough of our delicious made from scratch cookies.
People cant get enough of our delicious made-from-scratch cookies.

Give us a call at 1260 2133293 to place your order.
Give us a call at 1-260-213-3293 to place your order.

Cookie Flavors:

Sugar-Light & buttery, cut out & decorated with icing.
Sugar- Light & buttery, cut out & decorated with icing.

Chocolate Chip-Everyone's favorite. Crisp or chewy.
Chocolate Chip- Everyone's favorite. Crisp or chewy.

Peanutbutter-Soft & chewy.
Peanut butter- Soft & chewy.

Snickerdoodles- Cinnamin-y goodness.
Snickerdoodles- Cinnamon-y goodness.

Pie:
Serve them up a slice of our made from scratch pie.
Serve them up a slice of our made-from-scratch pie.

Peach-Ripe peaches in sugar & cinnamon dusted double crust.
Peach- Ripe peaches in sugar & cinnamon-dusted double crust.

Lemon Meringue- Mile high meringue in a flaky crust.
Lemon Meringue- Mile-high meringue in a flaky crust.

Cakes:
Vetran's Day
Veteran's Day

Micky Mouse
Mickey Mouse

3d Lion Cub
3D Lion Cub

Cookies:
Decorated Sugar Cookies $6.00 per dozen. After a dozen, each cookie $.25
(WAY TOO CHEAP! I believe most CC'ers charge $1.00 per each 1" diameter for DECORATED cookies = $3.00 for 3" wide cookie.)

Where to Find Us:

We are a home-based business and take orders via phone, email or through our website.
We are a home-based business and take orders via phone, email, or through our website.

atudor4 Posted 11 Aug 2012 , 1:45pm
post #7 of

Thanks everyone for the suggestions! I really appreciate it and will work on it today.
icon_biggrin.gif

atudor4 Posted 11 Aug 2012 , 1:54pm
post #8 of
Quote:
Originally Posted by jason_kraft

A good start. I recommend fleshing out the home page a little more (perhaps including more pictures of your products), streamlining the menu section (too many pages), and getting rid of the "Where to find us" page since it doesn't seem to be adding any value.

Your price list also needs to be reorganized, maybe put the pans on a separate page or have that section hidden by default. You'll also want to make sure you are legally allowed to sell cakes made with all the character pans you have listed, some are for home use only

Some serious work needs to be done on the copy as well, there are issues with spelling, grammar, clarity, and redundancy.

Last but not least, that URL has got to go. You're going to go nuts if you have to say it out loud more than a few times a day.



I will def get rid of the "where to find us" page.
Should I just use my pricing matrix in excel format instead of the pricing on the page now?
I will proof it again and fix errors.
Ive already printed flyers and cards with that url so I.m reluctant to change it at this point..

atudor4 Posted 11 Aug 2012 , 1:55pm
post #9 of
Quote:
Originally Posted by shanter

That link takes me to a page that says "The page you requested no longer exists." but it does have your site map. I haven't read your pages yet, but I did notice one consistent thing: The type is big enough that I can read it! *Thank you!!!*




Opps! That's weird! But thanks for trying icon_smile.gif

atudor4 Posted 11 Aug 2012 , 2:02pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by aundrea

i agree its a great start.
i didnt see a photo gallery. and i personally dont like the word "pans" that are available. in reference to describing what kind of cakes you make.
.



Ok, i will change the wording. I am just starting out so I haven't made cakes with all these pans yet. I try to do a cake once a week and after I snap pics I give it to the neighbors.

Quote:
Originally Posted by aundrea

also, you have pics of wilton pans but not a picture of the cake that you make.
and just wondering if the cakes on top part, i believe its wedding cakes are your cakes? if they are-you should definitely highlight those, because very well done..



Unfortunately those are NOT mine but clip art from the website that I built my site from. You know, the free pics you are allowed to use?

Quote:
Originally Posted by aundrea

i honestly didnt look much into the website. because the pricing was confusing for me.



Ok, I've had several comments on the pricing and how its confusing so I will fix it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by aundrea

in all honestly you are definately on the right path. good luck with your businesour s.
also, just remember, alot of what you are advertising to make is copyright cakes.
i dont know what the laws are in your state (or if the state you live in actually matters) but ive heard that you need permission to sell copyrighted cakes.
i could be wrong so dont just take my word for it.



Ok, I read online that you are allowed to make/sell 1 cake then after that you need to obtain permission. Since I havent even sold a cake yet I'd say I'm safe for now. icon_smile.gif

atudor4 Posted 11 Aug 2012 , 2:03pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommachris

If I were you, I'd re-word the wedding cake section. Don't use 'unpleasant surprise' as it puts fear into the heart of a bride.
Better to talk about" your special attention to detail, creating unique cake art that helps express the style of each bride and groom."

mommachris



Ok, great idea. Thanks so much!

ibeeflower Posted 11 Aug 2012 , 2:52pm

Are all the pictures on your website yours? Be sure that they are all of the work you have done. I ask because they don't all look uniform, no offense.

atudor4 Posted 11 Aug 2012 , 2:57pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by ibeeflower

Are all the pictures on your website yours? Be sure that they are all of the work you have done. I ask because they don't all look uniform, no offense.



Some are stock photos from the web developer site I used to make my website. I figured since they are offered on their site then they are ok to use until I get more pics of my own work. I'm slowly but surely building a portfolio. Thanks for helping out!!

jason_kraft Posted 11 Aug 2012 , 4:14pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by atudor4

Should I just use my pricing matrix in excel format instead of the pricing on the page now?



Just moving the list of pans to a different page should be a big improvement. Also your prices are so low right now you may just want to go with the filled price for all cakes to simplify your pricing structure.

Quote:
Quote:

Ive already printed flyers and cards with that url so I.m reluctant to change it at this point..



It's up to you, if you are OK saying www dot a dash family dash affair dash fort dash wayne dot com every time someone asks for your URL then you can leave it. Compare that with something like "www.afamillyaffairdesserts.com".

jason_kraft Posted 11 Aug 2012 , 4:15pm

[quote="atudor4"]

Quote:
Originally Posted by ibeeflower

Some are stock photos from the web developer site I used to make my website. I figured since they are offered on their site then they are ok to use until I get more pics of my own work. I'm slowly but surely building a portfolio. Thanks for helping out!!



If you didn't make a cake, don't include a picture of it on your site unless you make it clear that someone else made it.

jason_kraft Posted 11 Aug 2012 , 4:18pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by atudor4

Ok, I read online that you are allowed to make/sell 1 cake then after that you need to obtain permission. Since I havent even sold a cake yet I'd say I'm safe for now. icon_smile.gif



That is incorrect. If you copy someone else's copyrighted work (like an original cartoon character) without their permission that is copyright infringement, regardless of whether you make the cake once or a hundred times, or whether or not you accept money for the cake.

atudor4 Posted 11 Aug 2012 , 6:12pm

That is incorrect. If you copy someone else's copyrighted work (like an original cartoon character) without their permission that is copyright infringement, regardless of whether you make the cake once or a hundred times, or whether or not you accept money for the cake.[/quote]
Bummer! Wonder how much it costs to get permission? Nominal or astronomical?

jason_kraft Posted 11 Aug 2012 , 6:59pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by atudor4

Bummer! Wonder how much it costs to get permission? Nominal or astronomical?



It depends on the copyright owner. Some companies will grant permission for free, others (like Disney) require you to apply to be a licensee through a formal process that is both expensive and time-consuming.

atudor4 Posted 12 Aug 2012 , 7:33pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by jason_kraft

Quote:
Originally Posted by atudor4

Bummer! Wonder how much it costs to get permission? Nominal or astronomical?


It depends on the copyright owner. Some companies will grant permission for free, others (like Disney) require you to apply to be a licensee through a formal process that is both expensive and time-consuming.



I think there's something called the 1st sale doctorin??? Or however it's spelled lol

jason_kraft Posted 12 Aug 2012 , 7:38pm

The first sale doctrine gives you the right to resell a specific tangible item to someone else without the permission of the copyright owner. So you can purchase a licensed Mickey Mouse figurine, put that on a cake, and sell the cake to someone else without Disney's permission.

It does not protect your right to sell or transfer copies of a tangible item. If you made a copy of the Mickey Mouse figurine (or a freehand copy) out of fondant you would require permission from Disney to sell or transfer that copy to someone else.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First-sale_doctrine

BlueRose8302 Posted 12 Aug 2012 , 8:20pm

I would fix all the grammar and spelling issues that have already been suggested. That can be a total turn off.

The site just seems to need some more beauty to it! Colors or fonts or something to make it truly lovely to look at.

I would NEVER use ANY picture of a cake that I did not make!! If I found out that a baker had even "stock" photos of cakes on a website-I would not trust that person could really make my cake. It is just important....like I promise you make to your customer of your ability. If you need to build up your gallery, make some dummy cakes and keep raking the icing off and design it another way!

Good luck with you business! I know it must be a lot of work, but you are well on your way!

BlueRose8302 Posted 12 Aug 2012 , 8:32pm

Color! That's what it needs! Color and pictures!

Also--I went to your facebook page and you had some pictures on there that you said were not yours-which I understand, you are gathering ideas--but you call some of them "simple" that would make me nervous of even trying! Either you are way braver than I am, or we both need to look again!!

atudor4 Posted 12 Aug 2012 , 8:41pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueRose8302

Color! That's what it needs! Color and pictures!

Also--I went to your facebook page and you had some pictures on there that you said were not yours-which I understand, you are gathering ideas--but you call some of them "simple" that would make me nervous of even trying! Either you are way braver than I am, or we both need to look again!!




Well what I meant by "simple" is the design is more clean & without lots of decoration or fondant. Not simple like its a breeze to make because they are not!
I used spell check so I'm not sure what other spelling errors you're referring to.
If I didn't use stock photos I'd literally have like 5 pics as I am just starting out. My photog skills really suck too icon_sad.gif
But thanks for the honest input, it's appreciated!

jason_kraft Posted 12 Aug 2012 , 9:04pm

Automated spell-checking tools are not a substitute for professional copyediting. Any reputable professional web designer should either have this skill set or employ/contract with someone who does.

It's not just about spelling and grammar either. For example, on your About Us page you mention that your business has "generations of experience", you may want to either expand on this or remove it since it's not clear what that means.

atudor4 Posted 12 Aug 2012 , 10:03pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by jason_kraft

Automated spell-checking tools are not a substitute for professional copyediting. Any reputable professional web designer should either have this skill set or employ/contract with someone who does.

It's not just about spelling and grammar either. For example, on your About Us page you mention that your business has "generations of experience", you may want to either expand on this or remove it since it's not clear what that means.



Like I said, I created my website using 1&1 site builder. I am NOT a professional web designer. I don't have a college degree yet but I am working on it. I'm just a Mom & wife that is trying to do something for myself. I asked for honest (but nice) opinions. NOT smart ass, knit-picking comments on every single comment I make.
Now I'd appreciate it if you'd just move on & find another post to comment on....

jason_kraft Posted 12 Aug 2012 , 10:08pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by atudor4

Like I said, I created my website using 1&1 site builder. I am NOT a professional web designer.



I'm aware of that, just giving you some info on what to look for when you do decide to hire a professional.

BlueRose8302 Posted 12 Aug 2012 , 10:14pm

These are just honest opinions for those who truly wish you well, no offense intended.

Best of luck to you!

atudor4 Posted 12 Aug 2012 , 10:16pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueRose8302

These are just honest opinions for those who truly wish you well, no offense intended.

Best of luck to you!



None taken...from you. I will take your suggestions into consideration.

cake4mygirls Posted 13 Aug 2012 , 12:56am

Kudos to you for taking the plunge and starting a business. I would love to try, but alas where I live you can't legally run a bakery from your own kitchen.icon_cry.gif

First off I like your banner, baby - family affair, it fits.

The one thing that sticks out to me is your Facebook link. My eyes don't like how it protrudes out of the box. Is there away you can rename your link so it's shorter, or move it altogether and use the Facebook logo with the link?

good luck

jason_kraft Posted 13 Aug 2012 , 1:56am

Speaking of Facebook, I find it's helpful to add a "Like" button to your home page to help spread awareness of the site outside your own social network. It's really easy to do, and it's free.

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