jgifford Posted 12 Jul 2012 , 7:33pm
post #1 of

I don't know what to do - - or if I should just stay out of it. There's a new cake shop that just opened near where I work. In the course of my work, I have had the opportunity to deal with the baker's husband - as have several other people I've spoken with.

Here's the deal - - and I'm being as nice as I possibly can - - the guy is a big fat jerk. His reputation is spreading very fast and his poor wife who just opened her business isn't going to have a chance to get it off the ground before he ruins it for her. He's arrogant and extremely rude, and treats everyone as though they work for him. I've heard several people say they wouldn't go to her shop because they might run into him.

I've tried to see if she's on CC so I could pm her, but if she is, I can't find her. I feel really bad for her and I don't want her business to fail before anyone even gets to try her cakes. On the other hand, she may be well aware she's married to Jeffrey the Jackass and wouldn't appreciate hearing anything.

So what do I do?

21 replies
wildflowercakes Posted 12 Jul 2012 , 7:58pm
post #2 of

Personally I would stay out of it. Like you said she knows who she is married too. If you say something they may think you're just trying to protect your business and start bad mouthing you. Leave it alone until it affects you.

SoFloGuy Posted 12 Jul 2012 , 8:32pm
post #3 of

Don't do anything. How would you like someone to email you anonymously and tell you that your husband is a jerk. What is she supposed to do divorce him to make you happy. Stay out of it.

debidehm Posted 12 Jul 2012 , 8:44pm
post #4 of

Or...if you know she's going to be in the shop, call and give an anonymous complaint about the treatment you have received from the husband. She might know how her husband is at home, but she might not know that he treats the customers the way he does. Being this is her (their) company, she might think he will do everything in his power to make the company succeed, and not to ambush it. I would give her the heads up by placing a call. Whether she wants to do anything with that information will then be in her hands....

lorieleann Posted 12 Jul 2012 , 10:13pm
post #5 of

whiley your intentions are noble, there really is no good to come of it. LIke it was said, she knows who she is married to and at this point what is she going to do? And this is her plot to plow, marital rocks and all.

btrsktch Posted 12 Jul 2012 , 10:15pm
post #6 of

I would just stay out of it. IMHO, at the end of the day, no matter how nice or unpleasant a sales person is, the product is what drives customers.
For example, there is a guy in my area that sells a product, and is as rude as all get out. He is doing YOU a favor by being in the area and having a product to sell, and he lets you know it. Lines out the door every holiday season.
People overlook the attitude because his product is so good. Now, on the other hand, you will have some people that won't come back because of the attitude, but a really nice person with a really bad product will loose customers faster than a nasty one with a great product.

jason_kraft Posted 12 Jul 2012 , 10:35pm
post #7 of
Quote:
Originally Posted by debidehm

Or...if you know she's going to be in the shop, call and give an anonymous complaint about the treatment you have received from the husband.



This. The fact that this guy is the owner's husband is irrelevant (at least from your perspective), treat it as you would any situation where an employee was rude to a customer.

docofthedead Posted 12 Jul 2012 , 11:18pm
post #8 of
Quote:
Originally Posted by jason_kraft

Quote:
Originally Posted by debidehm

Or...if you know she's going to be in the shop, call and give an anonymous complaint about the treatment you have received from the husband.


This. The fact that this guy is the owner's husband is irrelevant (at least from your perspective), treat it as you would any situation where an employee was rude to a customer.




I tend to agree..Just because he is the husband doesn't mean he has free reign over how he treats the customers. If it were, say a flower shop or a clothing store, etc and you received rude service from an employee, would you not make a complaint?
Somebody else mentioned that it's the product that sells the business, but I don't think that is necessarily true. I think it depends on how the customer chooses to deal with it. For instance, we have a great mexican restraunt down the street that my husband loves. Twice we went in there and had AWFUL service, both times we asked to speak to a manager and both times we were told there was no manager on duty (yeah,sure there isn't). Even though they have great food, we will no longer go in there for the simple fact of how we are treated. Whenever the name of that place comes up in conversation my husband mentions how horrible we have been treated on more than one occasion.
I think if it were me, I would probably call her also. She doesn't have to know that you are aware that he is the husband. For all you know, he is just another employee. I am not known to be one for allowing myself to be treated poorly by anybody, especially by somebody that is in a customer service position...
Just my opinion though! icon_smile.gif

usaribbon.gif

stephdover4 Posted 12 Jul 2012 , 11:31pm
post #9 of

I agree with Jason and docofthedead. She can't deal with it is shes not told about it. Word does spread fast and she deserves the opportunity to put a stop to it.

samgill99 Posted 13 Jul 2012 , 12:05am
Quote:
Originally Posted by SoFloGuy

Don't do anything. How would you like someone to email you anonymously and tell you that your husband is a jerk. What is she supposed to do divorce him to make you happy. Stay out of it.




I doubt the OP is thinking about her own happiness icon_rolleyes.gif

If I were the wife of this obnoxious fool - I think I'd want to know. Sometime how they may not show this side to the spouse.

costumeczar Posted 13 Jul 2012 , 12:12am

I'd say something too...If my husband was being a jerk and people were actually saying that they would avoid going in because of him she needs to know.

gatorcake Posted 13 Jul 2012 , 1:56am
Quote:
Originally Posted by jason_kraft

Quote:
Originally Posted by debidehm

Or...if you know she's going to be in the shop, call and give an anonymous complaint about the treatment you have received from the husband.


This. The fact that this guy is the owner's husband is irrelevant (at least from your perspective), treat it as you would any situation where an employee was rude to a customer.




Sorry but the situation is not the same at all. The OP states that she has encountered the husband in the course of her work not encounters in the shop. Treating him as if he were an employee is useless as she will not see him that way. And those complaining will not be viewed of or thought of as customers---just some unidentified person calling to complain about her husband.

What he is doing outside of her business he is acting as her spouse not an employee. Thus it is most certainly relevant that he is her spouse. It is unfortunate that he is creating this situation. But approaching her as if he is just another employee is pointless. In addition, if she is not going to be receptive to comments as others have noted, do you honestly believe she is going to take seriously an anonymous call about her husband?

jason_kraft Posted 13 Jul 2012 , 2:06am

Based on the OP it was my impression that the husband was helping out at the shop, if he is not working at the shop then obviously filing a complaint about him doesn't make much sense.

jillybeansbama Posted 13 Jul 2012 , 2:20am

As a business owner, there is always drama. Best to keep it to yourself.

vgcea Posted 13 Jul 2012 , 5:46am

Unless the husband was working in the capacity of an employee and in the process was rude to the OP, I say stay out of it. I doubt she's going to divorce him to improve sales.

classiccake Posted 13 Jul 2012 , 6:42am

Definitely stay out. It is not your problem and I am sure the wife knows exactly what her husband is like. It is up to her to determine her course. Never try to interfere in anyone else's business.

debidehm Posted 13 Jul 2012 , 7:08am

I still say that if he's the "face" of the business at any point, and giving rude service, I say call and complain. You don't have to even say you know it's her husband. Think about it this way. Have you ever gone into a restaurant (or any business for that matter), received bad service from the wait staff and then complained to management? How do you know that the wait staff in question wasn't related somehow to the management? Let's say you did know that, would you still complain? If this was your business, and you had employees that acted the way he is, would you want to know, or would you rather have the customers keep their mouths shut because "It's none of their business?"

No one said that if you gave the lady a heads up on the service received that she would divorce the guy. Not even sure how that little scenario came about. I just know that if I had unhappy customers based on anyone representing my store, I would want to know about it...even if it turned out to be my husband (he would be demoted to trash detail BTW).

At least give the lady a chance to deal with the situation. I would rather receive complaints and have a chance to rectify them than to wonder why I'm losing business, and think it's based on the product sold. If she's given this information, and still has Ronnie Rude dealing with customers, then it's her ship to sink.

CupcakeMamaof2 Posted 13 Jul 2012 , 9:57am

Why don't you tell the big fat jerk he's a big fat jerk. She probably knows but he doesn't.

jgifford Posted 13 Jul 2012 , 1:22pm

Thank you so much for your opinions - - I know I can always count on cc'ers to point out things I hadn't thought of.

I get the impression that the husband is acting as the business manager and probably taking care of all non-cake details so his wife can concentrate on baking. And don't get me wrong - - I think that's wonderful and I would appreciate it if I were in her shoes. But my company's dealings with him have been in the roll of a supplier that he really doesn't want to alienate. (No, I'm not in competition with the cake shop.) Since he's probably co-owner of the business and married to the baker to boot, it's a little bit different than bad service from a waiter at a restaurant.

I didn't want to cause any problems here. I'm really happy for this lady that she's to the point where she can open her own business and I hope she succeeds. I didn't even know about the shop until I had to deal with her husband and began hearing about him from others.

I think I'll just wait a little longer and see how things go. Maybe he'll relax a little now that the shop is actually open and running.

jason_kraft Posted 13 Jul 2012 , 3:11pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by jgifford

I get the impression that the husband is acting as the business manager and probably taking care of all non-cake details so his wife can concentrate on baking.



That could potentially be a big issue...when I was doing this for my wife I was essentially the face of the business since I handled all sales/customer service and most of the deliveries so she could focus on the baking. Many of our reviews praised both the product and the service so if the husband is dropping the ball she should see it pretty quickly in feedback from customers (assuming she checks on that).

The husband may also end up improving himself on his own, there's an entirely different level of accountability involved when dealing with your own customers vs. the customers of the company you work for (assuming he doesn't own the supplier you deal with).

KoryAK Posted 13 Jul 2012 , 5:17pm

If it were me I would want to know

Baker_Rose Posted 13 Jul 2012 , 6:39pm

If her cakes are so good, people will buy them regardless.

I worked for the Wicked Witch of the Universe. She makes employees quit on the spot, she chases really talented people out of the door and she even makes her customers cry!

Every lunch people are lined up for lunch, every Holiday people are lined up out the door. She treats her front employees like C*R*A*P, telling them they are stupid in front of customers and throwing things at them.

....think the "Soup Nazi" only 5-foot tall and 80-something years old.

Her business is booming in this town, but she STILL can't get a decent cake decorator since I left. Some days that really makes me smile.

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