cookiez Posted 7 Jun 2012 , 7:46am
post #1 of

Hi,

I thought id post here because everyone here knows what goes into making a cake and decorating.

I have an anniversary party planned which is going to be catered with a band and really quite expensive.

I have an issue with the cake. A friend of the anniversary party wants to make the cake. This is really not a problem because she really does a decent job. The problem is her cakes have been really dry just about every cake she has given us for holidays etc.

Noone has said anything to her as not to hurt her feelings because of the time spent on the cakes which goes without saying.

The problem is i had already ordered a cake which i could cancel but im worried that a dry cake will put a damper on a party that im spending alot of money on. I should also add the cake is going to be the only dessert which amplifies the situation.

Do i let her make a cake and buy one also?

Do i take the chance that her cake will not be dry?

I am just at a loss at what to do as i don't want to hurt feelings but i don't want to take a chance on a dry cake either.

Any advice is greatly appreciated!

Thanx,

James

26 replies
vgcea Posted 7 Jun 2012 , 7:59am
post #2 of

Thank her for her offer, and tell her you've already ordered a cake.

If she makes a cake and finds out you ordered another cake: awkward situation.
If there are 2 cakes and hers does not get eaten which is likely based on what you described: awkward situation.
If you cancel your order and she brings dry cake: awkward situation.

cookiez Posted 7 Jun 2012 , 8:10am
post #3 of
Quote:
Originally Posted by vgcea

Thank her for her offer, and tell her you've already ordered a cake.

If she makes a cake and finds out you ordered another cake: awkward situation.
If there are 2 cakes and hers does not get eaten which is likely based on what you described: awkward situation.
If you cancel your order and she brings dry cake: awkward situation.




Yea i can't win can I?

I already told her i ordered a cake then she said oh just cancel it. So i kind of paused and she said if you don't want me to make a cake just say so in a hurt way so i didn't know what to say.

Shes a close friend of one of the anniversary party which makes it even harder to deal with.

scp1127 Posted 7 Jun 2012 , 8:25am
post #4 of

Order other desserts. I just catered a wedding with a cookie buffet. The cake was barely touched and we went through about 600 cookies for 120 people. We were mobbed. I don't think they missed the cake.

My point is to allow her to make the cake if you can't get out of it. Your guests will know that guest made the cake. You can fill in with cookies, fruits with dips, cheesecakes, etc. Your guests will have a great selection and your friend can make the cake.

Another option is to be honest about your concern and ask if she may have another recipe that is more moist. That's a hard one.

Option 3: Tell her you couldn't cancel the cake.

newbaker55 Posted 7 Jun 2012 , 8:29am
post #5 of

I'm sorry, I've already paid a hefty non-refundable deposit on the cake I ordered.

I know how much time and effort goes into making a cake and wouldn't dream of imposing on you in that manner.

cookiez Posted 7 Jun 2012 , 8:46am
post #6 of
Quote:
Originally Posted by scp1127

Order other desserts. I just catered a wedding with a cookie buffet. The cake was barely touched and we went through about 600 cookies for 120 people. We were mobbed. I don't think they missed the cake.

My point is to allow her to make the cake if you can't get out of it. Your guests will know that guest made the cake. You can fill in with cookies, fruits with dips, cheesecakes, etc. Your guests will have a great selection and your friend can make the cake.

Another option is to be honest about your concern and ask if she may have another recipe that is more moist. That's a hard one.

Option 3: Tell her you couldn't cancel the cake.




Great ideas but everything we get extra has to go through the caterer at .50 or .75 a cookie so we already paid caterer a hefty sum so id rather not incur any other cost. State law says we can't bring in anything not authorized by caterer as he is liable so all we can bring in would be a cake.

Shes knows we can cancel the cake as event is about a month away. I thought of that as well. Then she would feel lied to which maybe worse.

I thought of being honest but i don't know how she will take that and really isn't my place to say her cakes are dry. She doesn't make the cakes for me but the other party. I'm invited to holiday dinner of which they are served.

This all stems back to people not being honest with her in the first place and i just happend to be the person that has to deal with this.

cookiez Posted 7 Jun 2012 , 9:08am
post #7 of

I have been thinking of handling it by telling her to go ahead and make the cake. The anniversary party will really appreciate it and nothing can be bought in a store or bakery that comes more from the heart.

I was going to tell her that i put a lot of time and effort into picking out a cake and design as well. I shouldn't have to cast my cake aside either. I though a good compromise would be 2 cakes and just give people a piece of each and have it just be that.

If she has a problem with that I did my best to compromise and let the chips fall where they may.

At the end of the day i have the investment in the party and i should have it the way i want it i guess.

I been trying to find a way to do this as nicely as possible but i don't see any other way that i can do this without someone losing or it costing me more money.

DomesticatedDiva Posted 7 Jun 2012 , 10:06am
post #8 of

Maybe suggest she make a different flavour cake? If yours is white cake maybe ask if she will make chocolate so that your guests have choice, sounds to me like the ideal answer to avoid offending her and gives your guests an alternative, hope your event goes well regardless icon_smile.gif

mcaulir Posted 7 Jun 2012 , 11:20am
post #9 of

Can you serve the cake with cream and ice-cream on a plate so that it's not quite so dry? Ask her to use minimal icing.

TheSweetTreat Posted 7 Jun 2012 , 12:44pm

If it's your party and you're very worried about it going a certain way then I think you have every right to be honest with her about her cakes. I would feel so foolish if I had been delivering dry cakes and not one single person was telling me the truth. I think it's a disservice to her.

I know it's easyfor me to say 'be honest', but I think it's best. I'm also sensitive about being lied to or even 'white' lies. I think your other option is to let her make the cake and forget about it. If the people who the party is actually for aren't willing to say anything then let them eat dry cake. They must not feel it's that dry or they would take matters into their own hands. I know I would if it was my party and the cake was that bad.

BakingIrene Posted 7 Jun 2012 , 1:11pm

You paid a non-refundable deposit, so you need to go with that order.

Ask the person who offered, to make a cake in a different flavour--excellent idea. Maybe ask her specifically to add some alcohol that the anniversary couple prefers to the cake layers "as a treat" that the bakery won't do.

This party is not the time to discuss dryness of her cakes. The time to do so would be after the party. I would think about doing it this way: tell her that the caterer mentioned something, wanting to know how her cake had been stored. The person's feelings may be temporarily hurt but I would definitely want to hear about such a problem.

Those of us who bake cakes know that a dry cake comes from various reasons including just plain using the wrong kind of floor as well as storing it too long or storing it the wrong way.

I hope this party turns out very well for everybody involved.

missy2008 Posted 7 Jun 2012 , 1:16pm

It is difficult to be honest with some people, as feelings do get hurt in the process. In an ideal situation, would be to tell the baker friend that her cakes are too dry. She would probably increase her business if she had tasty cakes. You may use me as a contact person if youd like for me to pass on recipes/tips/ideas to her to help her get tasty cakes to go along with her beautiful decorations. The biggest mistake bakers do is over cook their cakes! (feel free to pm me and I will give you my contact info.)

Otherwise, if the situation is too tender to be honest. I would have her decorate a dummy cake. Since she is a friend and will also be attending the event, she can decorate the dummy cake ahead of time and be well rested to enjoy the party too! This way you can order your tasty cake. plus if you order sheet cakes or small cakes to put around the large dummy cake, you solve both problems. (or just keep sheet cakes in the back to serve-which keeps costs down if tasty cakes don't have to be elaborately decorated) You have options of displaying both cakes or only displaying dummy cake. This also gives everyone to enjoy the decorated cake for longer periods of time. I can send you pics of a cake I did that way if you like.
i feel your stress, and I hope you find a solution. You TOO need to enjoy the party!!

sillywabbitz Posted 7 Jun 2012 , 1:58pm

I'm confused. Are you hosting the anniversary party? The impression I'm getting from you is that she is a friend of the people who are having the annviserary. If so you need to address this with them directly? Explain that you ordered a cake from such and such bakery and so and so offered to make the cake what would they like to do?
Seriously this should not be your problem. If the guest of honors don't have a problem with her cake maybe you just have a more sensitive pallette. Also I love the idea of asking her to make a specific flavor...hell find one of the awesome tried and true recipes from the Gourmet flavor list on CC and say something like, "this is the flavor cake we would like and if you don't have a recipe here is a good one"

vtcake Posted 7 Jun 2012 , 8:53pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by DomesticatedDiva

Maybe suggest she make a different flavour cake? If yours is white cake maybe ask if she will make chocolate so that your guests have choice, sounds to me like the ideal answer to avoid offending her and gives your guests an alternative, hope your event goes well regardless icon_smile.gif





Ditto!

SoFloGuy Posted 7 Jun 2012 , 9:04pm

Tell her you already ordered and paid for a cake. Send her an anonymous email that her dry cakes are more deserts than desserts. icon_biggrin.gif

cookiez Posted 7 Jun 2012 , 9:14pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by DomesticatedDiva

Maybe suggest she make a different flavour cake? If yours is white cake maybe ask if she will make chocolate so that your guests have choice, sounds to me like the ideal answer to avoid offending her and gives your guests an alternative, hope your event goes well regardless icon_smile.gif




Yea she will make chocolate and i will change the order to marbel so that should solve some of it.

Thank you for the well wishes!

Quote:
Originally Posted by mcaulir

Can you serve the cake with cream and ice-cream on a plate so that it's not quite so dry? Ask her to use minimal icing.




We are not allowed to bring anything in or i was thinking of that as well because thats how we eat the cakes she bakes currently with enough ice cream. =)


Quote:
Originally Posted by TheSweetTreat

If it's your party and you're very worried about it going a certain way then I think you have every right to be honest with her about her cakes. I would feel so foolish if I had been delivering dry cakes and not one single person was telling me the truth. I think it's a disservice to her.

I know it's easyfor me to say 'be honest', but I think it's best. I'm also sensitive about being lied to or even 'white' lies. I think your other option is to let her make the cake and forget about it. If the people who the party is actually for aren't willing to say anything then let them eat dry cake. They must not feel it's that dry or they would take matters into their own hands. I know I would if it was my party and the cake was that bad.




Its really not my place to be honest. I thought of telling her but she is not my friend. I don't want to take a chance of ruining the party somehow over this. People as everyone knows blow things out of proportion.

Her own relation doesn't order cakes i come to find out for the same reason but doesn't mean it hurts any less.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BakingIrene

Ask the person who offered, to make a cake in a different flavour--excellent idea. This party is not the time to discuss dryness of her cakes. The time to do so would be after the party. I would think about doing it this way: tell her that the caterer mentioned something, wanting to know how her cake had been stored. The person's feelings may be temporarily hurt but I would definitely want to hear about such a problem.




Yea i think thats what im going to do let her make choclate and ill order a marbel.

Its a suprise party but tried to convice the party many times to tell her the the cakes are dry. She did once and didnt take it so well so she just doesn't want to bring it up anymore i guess.

cookiez Posted 7 Jun 2012 , 9:33pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by missy2008

It is difficult to be honest with some people, as feelings do get hurt in the process. In an ideal situation, would be to tell the baker friend that her cakes are too dry. She would probably increase her business if she had tasty cakes. You may use me as a contact person if youd like for me to pass on recipes/tips/ideas to her to help her get tasty cakes to go along with her beautiful decorations. The biggest mistake bakers do is over cook their cakes! (feel free to pm me and I will give you my contact info.)

i feel your stress, and I hope you find a solution. You TOO need to enjoy the party!!




Thanks for the well wishes and we think also she has been overbaking or not freezing her cakes correctly. She gives away just about all of her cakes so thats what makes its so hard to say anything. She really is a excellent decorator and has great ideas thats what also make its so hard.


Quote:
Originally Posted by sillywabbitz

I'm confused. Are you hosting the anniversary party? The impression I'm getting from you is that she is a friend of the people who are having the annviserary. If so you need to address this with them directly? Explain that you ordered a cake from such and such bakery and so and so offered to make the cake what would they like to do?
Seriously this should not be your problem. If the guest of honors don't have a problem with her cake maybe you just have a more sensitive pallette. Also I love the idea of asking her to make a specific flavor...hell find one of the awesome tried and true recipes from the Gourmet flavor list on CC and say something like, "this is the flavor cake we would like and if you don't have a recipe here is a good one"




She is a friend of the anniversary party her best friend. Yes i am hosting the party and paying for it. Its a suprise they don't know about it.

They do have a problem with her cakes being dry our whole family does. She gives them to us at no cost and its a gift from the heart.

Well i maybe to sensitive but the cake is the only dessert so its a big deal so it needs to be good and if hers is dry well..

Quote:
Originally Posted by SoFloGuy

Tell her you already ordered and paid for a cake. Send her an anonymous email that her dry cakes are more deserts than desserts. icon_biggrin.gif




Yea believe me id like to! =D I live in small town america so she knows i can cancel my cake order so id just be lying and thats never a good solution.

BlakesCakes Posted 7 Jun 2012 , 9:41pm

I give away all of my cakes..............and I always ask for feedback--both good & bad. Sorry, not a good excuse for providing something that people don't like.

That said, if I were the baker for the cake that you've ordered, I'd be mad as hell if someone else brought in a dry cake and it was served. I have a sole provider policy to prevent just such a problem. I see that other cake, and I walk out with mine.

The last thing I want is for some guest to get "confused" and think that I made the dry one! Or, for a guest to get sick from the other cake and then blame me!

I'd personally explain that a cake has been ordered, but that if she wants to give the anniversary couple a special cake for them to cut, or take home, that's her choice--BUT THAT IT WILL NOT BE SERVED TO THE OTHER GUESTS.

Rae

BakingIrene Posted 7 Jun 2012 , 9:48pm
Quote:
Quote:

I'd personally explain that a cake has been ordered, but that if she wants to give the anniversary couple a special cake for them to cut, or take home, that's her choice--BUT THAT IT WILL NOT BE SERVED TO THE OTHER GUESTS.




Quite frankly this may not be necessary. If the dry-cake-baker's own family don't order her cakes, people already know about the problem...and all you need is for there to be two different flavours.

But saying anything before the party is the best way for some very bad karma...like the dry-cake-baker calling up the anniversary couple and totally spoiling the surprise.

cookiez Posted 7 Jun 2012 , 9:50pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlakesCakes

I give away all of my cakes..............and I always ask for feedback--both good & bad. Sorry, not a good excuse for providing something that people don't like.

That said, if I were the baker for the cake that you've ordered, I'd be mad as hell if someone else brought in a dry cake and it was served. I have a sole provider policy to prevent just such a problem. I see that other cake, and I walk out with mine.

The last thing I want is for some guest to get "confused" and think that I made the dry one! Or, for a guest to get sick from the other cake and then blame me!

I'd personally explain that a cake has been ordered, but that if she wants to give the anniversary couple a special cake for them to cut, or take home, that's her choice--BUT THAT IT WILL NOT BE SERVED TO THE OTHER GUESTS.

Rae




This is what id like to tell her and what i had in mind that she would make a smaller cake decorate how she likes and they could cut or take home. Im not sure how she will take that.

The other cake would be from a chain store that has an excellent buttercream frosting which our whole family likes. As far as anyone being offended it would be just the party baking the cake thats dry.

cookiez Posted 7 Jun 2012 , 10:00pm

Thank you to everyone for taking the time to read my post and give your opinion! I really do appreciate it as i have been at wits end over this. This is my first real party that i have put together so i want it to be the best.

It really has given me the confidence to handle this situation better. Do to your advice and suggestions im going to keep the full sheet cake order and just go with a different flavor.

As far as her cake im not sure what im going to do yet. If i should ask her just to make a smaller decorative cake and let then anniversary party cut it etc..

or

Let her make her cake fullsheet and have 2 full sheet cakes.

SoFloGuy Posted 7 Jun 2012 , 10:06pm

You can always ask her to make a rum cake, or some other cake that's hard to dry out. Give her some hints like not to refrigerate her cake, that can dry it out too. Or ask if she'd make a specific recipe that you really like, (which just so happens to be brushed with a simple syrup after baking).

BlakesCakes Posted 7 Jun 2012 , 10:08pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by cookiez


This is what id like to tell her and what i had in mind that she would make a smaller cake decorate how she likes and they could cut or take home. Im not sure how she will take that.

The other cake would be from a chain store that has an excellent buttercream frosting which our whole family likes. As far as anyone being offended it would be just the party baking the cake thats dry.




I'm sure that you can couch it in a way that she'll understand.
"I really appreciate the offer, but we already have the cake/dessert well covered." PERIOD.

After all, it sounds like you're handling all of the arrangements for the party, paying for??? it, too? You have the right to handle the issue of what's going to be served--she does NOT.

Even as an invited guest, she doesn't have the right to "crash" the party with something that she expects to be served to the guests.

I think by gently turning down her offer, you're doing everyone a favor, including her--it will save discomfort & embarrassment on the day of the event.

Sorry, but if she gets her nose out of joint about it, ruins the surprise, whatever, THAT'S HER PROBLEM.

Stand your ground so that YOU'LL be happy with the event that YOU put on.

Rae

allbakenosleep Posted 7 Jun 2012 , 10:35pm

Has anyone suggested you ask her to use a simple syrup?
Solves both situations.

You could say "Hey! I saw this awesome xyz simple syrup for extra flavor and was wondering if you could include that in our cake? It sounds yummy!"

Replace xyz with whatever flavor...even if its just vanilla. It's a way for her to improve her cakes without you asking for her to use a different recipe. You're not directly addressing the dry cake situation, but you're solving it, and in the future you can request the simple syrup to be soaked in the layers 'because it was so yummy!'

allbakenosleep Posted 7 Jun 2012 , 10:36pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by SoFloGuy

You can always ask her to make a rum cake, or some other cake that's hard to dry out. Give her some hints like not to refrigerate her cake, that can dry it out too. Or ask if she'd make a specific recipe that you really like, (which just so happens to be brushed with a simple syrup after baking).


Bingo!
thumbs_up.gif

cakesbycathy Posted 8 Jun 2012 , 2:43am

I appreciate that you are trying to be sensitive to her feelings...
However - if you are planning and paying for the party then you are responsible for doing what's in the best interests of the guests of honor and the guests. That means NOT ordering a cake you know will not taste good.

Either tell her that thank you for offer ing but a cake has already been ordered and then end the conversation,or ask her to make a small cake just for the anniversary couple emphasizing it will not be served at the party.

You should not have 2 sheet cakes there. It is not fair to either baker.

scp1127 Posted 8 Jun 2012 , 5:31am

It sounds like you have spent the money to have everything perfect. You really don't have a choice if you want your party to be perfect. It sounds like you are a perfectionist. You are going to have to tell her the truth.

Tell her that in planning the party, you really have your heart set on XYZ's certain flavor cake. It's your favorite. And after careful consideration, you really want to have that cake served.

Good luck in a sticky situation.

Let us know what you decide.

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