tdovewings Posted 29 Apr 2012 , 11:41pm
post #1 of

Late last week my cousin asked me to make a groom's cake for their wedding that occurred on Saturday (green bay packers themed). I'm a hobby baker and occasionally make cakes for free for family members. While at the wedding venue I just so happen to be setting up the groom's cake when the "real" cake company showed up with the wedding cake. I suddenly felt very uncomfortable and guilty. I dawned on me that I could be taking away from someone that has a business doing this. I have no idea why they asked me and not the baker. The baker seemed rather pissed that I was there, and I apologized for making a free cake from them. Another friend told me it is not uncommon from the groom's cake to be done by another person from the center piece wedding cake.

Did I do something wrong? What is the proper etiquette? By the way the cake was a wedding gift, I did not receive or request payment.

56 replies
kimmisue2009 Posted 29 Apr 2012 , 11:54pm
post #2 of

No ma'am! You did nothing wrong. It is very, very common for the groom's cake to come from someone other than whomever makes the wedding cake. Groom's cakes are quite often campy and fun, even at the most formal of occasions, and are often made by moms, sisters and friends. Heavens, if everyone was as considerate of others as you are, what a better world we would have!

jewels710 Posted 30 Apr 2012 , 12:08am
post #3 of

Agreed, your conscience should be in the clear!

MimiFix Posted 30 Apr 2012 , 12:10am
post #4 of

You worry too much. Gifting someone with one of your fabulous cakes is a very sweet thing!

Ashleyssweetdesigns Posted 30 Apr 2012 , 12:14am
post #5 of

Why would you feel bad about that? If your cousin asked you to make it you did nothing wrong, it has nothing to do with the other baker. They prob thought you were competition or something.

QTCakes1 Posted 30 Apr 2012 , 12:15am
post #6 of

I would not worry about it at all. It's a gift. But I will say this, as a baker, I don't allow other cakes at the same event.

KimmW Posted 30 Apr 2012 , 12:24am
post #7 of

QT cakes,
May I ask why?

KimmW Posted 30 Apr 2012 , 12:33am
post #8 of

QT cakes,
May I ask why?

JTCake Posted 30 Apr 2012 , 12:43am
post #9 of

I am a hobby baker like yourself and I did the groom's cake for a friend's son's wedding this weekend (Astros Baseball Cake). The groom had asked me specifically to make it for him and offered to pay for it. I said no way. It was my gift to the bride and groom. Since I'm not a professional, I didn't feel in anyway bad about it. But I can understand how a baker would feel if presented with a situation like that. This wasn't the case here because the bride's mother made the wedding cake. It was a beautiful cake as well and she wasn't a professional either. However we were sizing each other's cakes up to see whose looked the best. I think mine was better...LOL!

tdovewings Posted 30 Apr 2012 , 12:44am

Thanks for your insights! I will definitely sleep better tonight and stop worrying about it.

AZCouture Posted 30 Apr 2012 , 2:03am

That maybe why she looked pissed. That baker might have a sole provider clause, and wasn't expecting to see another cake there, and it may have every well been something the bride signed off, and didn't think the other baker would see it.

AZCouture Posted 30 Apr 2012 , 2:12am

But as stated by the others, not your problem!

BlakesCakes Posted 30 Apr 2012 , 2:22am
Quote:
Originally Posted by AZCouture

That maybe why she looked pissed. That baker might have a sole provider clause, and wasn't expecting to see another cake there, and it may have every well been something the bride signed off, and didn't think the other baker would see it.




This was my first thought.

I was recently approached to do groom's cakes for 2 different weddings. I explained in each case that I wouldn't do it unless I also provided the wedding cake--as a protection for myself AND for the other baker (liability, product confusion, etc.).
In neither case will there be an actual wedding cake: one is having 300 cake pops (some other masochist's problem NOT mine!) and the other is having a destination wedding in Key West and my cake will be served here in OH at a pre-wedding reception for family that can't attend the actual wedding.

Prior to knowing the above details, I told each bride that I'd be happy to provide the groom's cake for the rehearsal dinner (if there wouldn't be any other cake there, either).

I stand behind this as a sensible practice. I would have been livid if I'd been the wedding cake baker and had discussed my sole provider clause--and it's rationale--with the bride, only to come upon another cake being set up at the venue. Bride's have the right to want what they want, but I have the right to CMA, too...................

Rae

jason_kraft Posted 30 Apr 2012 , 2:43am

The thing about the sole provider clause is that you have to be willing to walk away from the venue and take your cake with you (unless you are just using it as a bluff). If the bride violates this clause you would be within your rights to do so, but your reputation would be pretty much trashed with everyone at the event and their networks.

leah_s Posted 30 Apr 2012 , 2:48am

I'm with Rae. As a professional, I would NOT expect to see a cake that wasn't mine at the reception. I, too, have a sole provider clause that brides initial separately in addition to signing the contract.

Then there's the whole issue of duplicating the Packers logo, if that's what was on the cake. You got permission from the team, I assume.

Osgirl Posted 30 Apr 2012 , 3:07am

Just curious-why do some of you not allow other cakes if you do the wedding cake?

As far as the logo-I understand copyright and all, but you can't even use the team logo to put on a cake as a gift? It wasn't like she was selling it and making money off the logo.

BlakesCakes Posted 30 Apr 2012 , 3:11am
Quote:
Originally Posted by jason_kraft

The thing about the sole provider clause is that you have to be willing to walk away from the venue and take your cake with you (unless you are just using it as a bluff). If the bride violates this clause you would be within your rights to do so, but your reputation would be pretty much trashed with everyone at the event and their networks.




Yep. I explain this in detail whenever it's a potential issue.

I make it clear that I WILL walk with the cake, and exactly why. They KNOW that I'm serious.

They can get my cake back by boxing up the "other" cake and trading with me. They'll get the "other" cake back after the event concludes.

So far, knock wood, no one has tried to see how serious I am.....

Rae

jason_kraft Posted 30 Apr 2012 , 3:13am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Osgirl

Just curious-why do some of you not allow other cakes if you do the wedding cake?



There are two common reasons: to prevent confusion about who make which cake (i.e. if someone else's cake was dry that might be attributed to the make of the wedding cake), and for liability reasons (even though catered food is a much higher risk than other cakes).

Our bakery specializes in allergy-friendly cakes, and on more than one occasion a bride with food allergies (or guests with allergies) has asked us to make the main wedding cake in addition to a secondary cake because the other baker had a sole source clause, so it's been great for us.

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Quote:

As far as the logo-I understand copyright and all, but you can't even use the team logo to put on a cake as a gift? It wasn't like she was selling it and making money off the logo.



The logo is owned by the team, if you want to copy it you need their permission, regardless of whether or not the cake is sold.

QTCakes1 Posted 30 Apr 2012 , 11:54am

I don't allow other cakes for the reasons all ready mentioned. A) liability, what if someone said the cake made them sick, which cake was it, and B) my reputation, what if the other person bakes from a mix (the mix thing is how I FEEL,please, no one comment back about how great a cake mix is, cause I am stating my opinion) or they just make a really bad cake and the guest at the party think I provided both cakes. I don't want that on me either. And yes, I will walk. I just had a consilt and at every consult where I show them the part in the contract that if there is another cake there and I see it, I take my cake andget to keep my money, and I let them know I am not playing. My reputation will be fine.

tdovewings Posted 30 Apr 2012 , 12:40pm

Thanks Rae, QTCakes, and Jason for your insight too. I value your viewpoints as well on being the sole cake provider. It is a good idea for protecting your brand and reputation. If I ever grow-up and turn this into a business I will have to think about this very carefully.

I hope that the bride and groom didn't break any rules, after their honeymoon I'll ask. Next time I'll ask a million questions. Another question, if this ever happens again--is it out of bounds to ask if there is another cake being made and by whom and to contact the other bakery/cakery?

As far as logo is concerned, I didn't do the logo--I know better and my husband is in the intellectual property business. I just did it in packers colors with a cheese wedge on top and the letter "Z" for their last name instead of the green bay "G".

Mikomomof4 Posted 30 Apr 2012 , 3:08pm

goodness next time wait until they set up and leave. if it was not in the couples budget to purchase a grooms cake from wedding cake baker nothing wrong with you gifting them a cake as your wedding gift. if it was a clause then honor it, if not do as you please. if no clause and they have an issue with it then its just that. "their issue". logo stuff, understand that there is a legal issue but gonna always be someone out there willing to do it. those cakes are plastered on this website and i doubt folks needed to provide proof of permission. legal standpoint it is wrong i understand but folks are not gonna stop unless the license police is gonna show up at chuckee cheese and private home parties, weddings. ijs that though it is wrong folks are not gonna stop. now someone post pic and credit lala's bakery on june street in chicken livers, pa and someone post pic and credit sister of a co-worker boyfriends mother made the cake is different. still wrong but different. again i understand the legalities but folks not gonna stop. and if they get caught they get caught.

BlakesCakes Posted 30 Apr 2012 , 6:44pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by tdovewings

Another question, if this ever happens again--is it out of bounds to ask if there is another cake being made and by whom and to contact the other bakery/cakery?




YES, that's EXACTLY the way to handle it in the future. I would welcome such a call--as long as the result wasn't an effort to get me to change my policy. Obviously there are other bakers who feel differently and wouldn't have a problem with it.

Thanks for taking it so well and for understanding our points of view.

Mikomomf4--that's just the "everybody else is doing it and even though it's not the right thing to do I'm gonna' do it anyway and if I get caught I'll just say that everyone is doing is so what's the big deal so if you have a problem with it then it's your problem not mine"......

I don't buy it. I don't operate that way. I think it's a way of thinking that creates a lot of problems in today's world. When my kids tried that BS, their "thinking" was corrected very quickly......

Rae[/quote]

Mikomomof4 Posted 30 Apr 2012 , 9:56pm

@blakes i agree. im just stating the obvious that folks are beating a dead horse when it comes to the legalities. i think everyone can agree that there is always gonna be someone willing regardless of legalities and everyone can agree that it is wrong. i would think that if op has a "junior status" under their name that they are on cc long enough to hear about the legalities. they know.

jason_kraft Posted 30 Apr 2012 , 10:01pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlakesCakes

Quote:
Originally Posted by tdovewings

Another question, if this ever happens again--is it out of bounds to ask if there is another cake being made and by whom and to contact the other bakery/cakery?



YES, that's EXACTLY the way to handle it in the future. I would welcome such a call--as long as the result wasn't an effort to get me to change my policy. Obviously there are other bakers who feel differently and wouldn't have a problem with it.



This sort of thing is very difficult to police, all the bride would need to do is schedule the sole source baker's delivery early enough so they are gone by the time the secondary cake is delivered. We have done this on one occasion, where the bride made clear that we should deliver the secondary cake within a specific time window after the main cake was delivered, since the baker of the main cake had a sole source clause.

BlakesCakes Posted 30 Apr 2012 , 10:17pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by jason_kraft

We have done this on one occasion, where the bride made clear that we should deliver the secondary cake within a specific time window after the main cake was delivered, since the baker of the main cake had a sole source clause.




YOU DID THIS????????????

For all of the policing that you do of the members here on CC, questioning legalities, copyrights, etc. you readily admit that you deliberately duped another baker?

I don't care what perceived "justification" someone gave me for this---food allergies, or not--I would NEVER knowingly treat a peer so crappily.

Had I been the "other" baker and found this out, both the bride AND you would have been host to a lot of problems you may NEVER have even considered existed .

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you isn't just a religious platitude. It's damn good life advice.

A-freakin' amazing..................
Rae

jason_kraft Posted 30 Apr 2012 , 10:27pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlakesCakes

For all of the policing that you do of the members here on CC, questioning legalities, copyrights, etc. you readily admit that you deliberately duped another baker?



First of all, I don't do any "policing" here, I simply share information.

And I had no contact with this other baker, the contract between the bride and the other baker is not really my concern. In this case someone in the groom's family had allergies to gluten and nuts, and the other baker could not accommodate them and would not (according to the bride) consent to allowing another cake at the venue.

So the bride came to us and asked if we could make a gluten-free/nut-free cake for the event. I don't see why I should have to turn down business because of a competitor's policies.

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Quote:

Had I been the "other" baker and found this out, both the bride AND you would have been host to a lot of problems you may NEVER have even considered existed



What sort of problems?

QTCakes1 Posted 1 May 2012 , 12:44am
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlakesCakes

Quote:
Originally Posted by jason_kraft

We have done this on one occasion, where the bride made clear that we should deliver the secondary cake within a specific time window after the main cake was delivered, since the baker of the main cake had a sole source clause.



YOU DID THIS????????????

For all of the policing that you do of the members here on CC, questioning legalities, copyrights, etc. you readily admit that you deliberately duped another baker?


A-freakin' amazing..................
Rae




I TOTALLY AGREE!!!!! Call it what you want, but policing is what you do Jason. Everyone says that about you from time to time on here. If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, then it's a fricken duck. I am thoroughly disgusted. What a fricken hypocrite.

jason_kraft Posted 1 May 2012 , 1:03am

And as someone with food allergies myself, I was thoroughly disgusted with the other baker who refused to accommodate a food-allergic guest of their customer AND refused to allow them to accommodate the guest on their own.

That bride asked us to make the main cake too but we already had too many orders for that weekend. Everything worked out for the best...the guests actually preferred our gluten-free/nut-free cake to the "real" wedding cake, and the bride was very appreciative.

Call me what you will (I'm not seeing the connection between this and health inspections or copyright), but I stand by my decision and I would do it again in a heartbeat.

gatorcake Posted 1 May 2012 , 1:12am
Quote:
Originally Posted by jason_kraft

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlakesCakes

For all of the policing that you do of the members here on CC, questioning legalities, copyrights, etc. you readily admit that you deliberately duped another baker?


First of all, I don't do any "policing" here, I simply share information.

And I had no contact with this other baker, the contract between the bride and the other baker is not really my concern. In this case someone in the groom's family had allergies to gluten and nuts, and the other baker could not accommodate them and would not (according to the bride) consent to allowing another cake at the venue.

So the bride came to us and asked if we could make a gluten-free/nut-free cake for the event. I don't see why I should have to turn down business because of a competitor's policies.

Quote:
Quote:

Had I been the "other" baker and found this out, both the bride AND you would have been host to a lot of problems you may NEVER have even considered existed


What sort of problems?




You may not have policed but you have certainly moralized about the ethics of running a business. I am not going to waste the time to dredge up threads and posts, if you want to claim otherwise so be it. And just to make clear I really don't care whether someone is unlicensed or whether you provide a cake to a client who signed a contract with a SP clause. That said it is mind-boggling that you do not think your business ethics are in play.

You are most certainly assisting a client in violating a term of a contract signed with another baker. Your actions may not be bound by the contract legally, but you are certainly engaged in actions that contribute directly to the breaking of a contract. While you are certainly not legally culpable, don't kid yourself, you actions do contribute to the breaking of the contract. And that you don't believe in SP clauses is irrelevant, you could easily tell the client I will not assist you in violating the terms of a contract signed with another. That the other baker cannot meet her needs is her problem, respecting the contracts of others is yours--that is if you are going to question the ethical business practices of others.

QTCakes1 Posted 1 May 2012 , 1:29am
Quote:
Originally Posted by jason_kraft


Call me what you will (I'm not seeing the connection between this and health inspections or copyright), but I stand by my decision and I would do it again in a heartbeat.




Well let me put it in a context you can understand by giving you an example of what you preach. You are constantly preaching about copyright laws. When someone on here says,"What's the big deal. It's not like the licensed company is going to find out", you are one of the first to preach "Just cause the company won't find out it is still wrong. That is still unethical of you to do". And it is just as unethical of you to violate another baker's contract clause, even if they never find out about it. Practice what you preach or better yet, stop being so preachy and judgemental, since you don't believe what you say anyway.

And cause I know how obtuse you like to pretend to be, no, I did not quote you verbatim, but generalized your words on something you get so high and mighty on.

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