I Need To Vent! - Friend Cancelled Her Daughter's Wed. Cake

Business By dreamsville Updated 17 Apr 2012 , 6:13pm by carmijok

dreamsville Posted 16 Apr 2012 , 8:01pm
post #1 of 24

Ok so on April 9th (yes, LAST WEEK!) I get an email from the daughter of a friend of mine who says she's getting married this Saturday (yes, THIS SATURDAY) the 21st! Wanted to know if I would make her a wedding cake. I said sure! She asked for a simple white fondant covered cake. Two tiers with some spring flowers on it. She didn't have any kind of plan in mind. Just gave me a few favorite flowers and a few colors to go on. So I picked Gerbera daisies....nice bright colors...on a white cake = pretty!

So here was my price breakdown:

Wedding cake to serve 30 at $2.00/serving = $60.00
Flower sculpting fee: $20
Labor/Materials: $15.00
Delivery: FREE
Late Order Fee: FREE

Total: $95

So mom sends me a text message and asks if I had started her cake yet. When I said no and asked why she said the price was a little more than they anticipated!

WHAT!????!?!?!

Here are my thoughts as I'm so personally offended! She and her husband were SOO behind us starting this business but she (many times!) sends me messages on facebook about MY business. Then got mad earlier this year when we didn't show up with a FREE birthday cake for her husband...SHE NEVER ORDERED ONE!!!!!

On our Facebook page we clearly ask for at LEAST a month's notice for small wedding cakes.....I got 11 days!

All I did was take our wedding cake price and add our usual $15 labor fee (which I know is cheap!) and added the cost of just plain old BUYING the gumpaste to make the flowers!

I know she was trying to get me to come down in price because when we first started our business over year ago, this girl ordered the same size cake for her then boyfriend and we just charged her $45. but HELLO....our usual cake price is DIFFERENT from our wedding cake price! You want more detail that takes more of my time, you're going to pay MORE!

ARRGH! I am so upset with her right now. She hasn't spoken to me or been friendly with me in MONTHS but expects me to turn around and give her free cake.

*sigh* Good day quickly turned into a bad day icon_sad.gif

23 replies
april68 Posted 16 Apr 2012 , 8:22pm
post #2 of 24

that totally sucks ! poor you - ive had that happen to me a few times and always by the same 'friend' she tries to cancel a week before saying she cant afford it now so as ive already bought everything in ive said i will do the cake as a present if she just pays for the ingredients - 3 times now she's done it to me !!! She just asked me to make her wedding cake - I quoted at cost again £160 and she said she couldnt afford it !!!! Id like to know where she thinks she can get a 3 tier wedding cake for less than £250 anywhere !! she's now changed her mind and gone for something smaller ive quoted £85 at cost and will give my time as a present - ive got the full amount up front from her this time - i must be a mug !! you have every right to be angry with your 'friend' and should point out to her that you are running a business and not a charity ! chin up x

jgifford Posted 16 Apr 2012 , 8:28pm
post #3 of 24

Ok - - say it with me - -

FRIENDS WILL NOT DO THIS TO YOU!!

Therefore, the "friends' discount" DOES NOT apply.

I say full price from now on. You've both given way too much to these people and they have no right to expect any more from you.

kimmisue2009 Posted 16 Apr 2012 , 8:32pm
post #4 of 24

Someone on here has said, more than once, "we train people how to treat us." I really never gave it much thought until I realized I was letting people force me into corners, making me very resentful. You may just have to re-train this one. icon_smile.gif

pieceofcake561 Posted 16 Apr 2012 , 8:37pm
post #5 of 24

That is so ridiculous! The entire time I was reading your price breakdown I was thinking how cheap. My first cake I ever sold was similar. I sold it for $75 and was so mad at myself the whole time I was making it. I know better now lol. As far as the whole "friend" issue, I hate when friends & family EXPECT cakes for free. I would never ask them for their services free so why should baking be any different? You have every right to be upset. Maybe charge a fee for consultation & supplies up front as a deposit for those kinds of "friends" from now on.

dreamsville Posted 16 Apr 2012 , 8:38pm
post #6 of 24

hmmm I think you're right! Now it's just doing it without letting her try to think she knows more about the cake business than I do. SHe makes cake balls (not the kind on a stick) and sells them for $4.00 a dozen. Ask me if I've EVER received free cake balls "just because"? In fact, we collaborated on a huge event last year and I used HER cakebites on MY cake and she STILL charged me $16 for 4 dozen. Incredible. I think what hurts the most is that I WANT our friendship to work out and I'm seeing more and more in this past year that I'm not sure THEY want it to....and now I'm sure I want it to either.

But seriously.....WHERE does she think she's going to go to find someone to make her a wedding cake in 5 days.....for UNDER $100? seriously. icon_sad.gif

mom2twogrlz Posted 16 Apr 2012 , 8:53pm
post #7 of 24

Walk away from it and consider yourself lucky. Then when she asks for a cake again, tell her no.

jgifford Posted 16 Apr 2012 , 9:03pm
post #8 of 24

I have one friend who will always and forever get a cake from me for 1/2 price - whether it covers my costs or not. He has been wonderful to my family and done anything he could to help promote my business. But he's the only one.

And there are others who are always going to be told that I simply don't have the time to make their cakes. I won't lie to them, but I can always find something to do with my time.

Jenise Posted 16 Apr 2012 , 9:32pm
post #9 of 24

Just consider yourself lucky that you didn't make the cake. Because some people like that would end up complaining because they had to pay. Now you get to enjoy yourself and not worry about these users! BTW, I thought the price was a very good one considering all that you were planning to do! jMHO

ChristineCMC Posted 16 Apr 2012 , 10:32pm
post #10 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by mom2twogrlz

Walk away from it and consider yourself lucky. Then when she asks for a cake again, tell her no.




I agree, but I say RUN not walk away! This woman is not a real friend as friends don't treat each other like this!

costumeczar Posted 16 Apr 2012 , 11:25pm
post #11 of 24

For the people who said that she's not a friend, you're completely right. She's a leech. Don't ever sell her a cake at a discount again, and I'd even tack a PITA fee on it for the aggravation of having to deal with her!

dreamsville Posted 17 Apr 2012 , 1:08am
post #12 of 24

I SOOO knew you all would make me feel better! I just needed to vent to people who GET IT! Geesh...I love making cakes but when stuff like this happens (and it's ALWAYS people we're "close" to) I just want to pull all my hair out! I'm frustrated and even worse....my feelings are hurt and she will never understand why because she will forever think that she's right and that I should've given her this cake at a lesser price.

But her daughter's quick wedding is not my emergency. She's lucky I didn't tack on other fees. Oh well....I still have FIVE cakes to do this weekend and I"m leaving for Baltimore for the weekend so lots to do. good riddance to bad rubbish I guess icon_smile.gif

sugarpixy Posted 17 Apr 2012 , 1:19am
post #13 of 24

No custom made wedding cake should cost under 150. icon_smile.gif

scp1127 Posted 17 Apr 2012 , 4:14am
post #14 of 24

I offered to do my niece's grad cake for free. It was retail $400.00. I can't do carved cakes so I told her I would do a tiered cake in fondant in school colors and theme. I was adding matching candy and cake truffles. She agreed.

Then my three girls text me to tell me she is asking on facebook for a baker to do the carved bulldog cake. She really wanted I had already told her it would be extremely expensive, as the guest list was about 150 people. Of course every illegal baker got her name and number posted on facebook for my sister-in-law.

So I texted her that I understood that she was not happy with my offer and that I would be bringing a gift instead and good luck on her cake quest.

At the time, my brother was on unemployment and this party was a real strain for them. I knew they couldn't afford a carved cake or even my cake if she had to pay for it.

She knew that I had scheduled time to make the cake and marked my calendar booked for two days and never bothered to tell me she was still looking. Get this, she called Duff. He's not far from us, but I would have loved to hear that short conversation.

When we attended, she had two grocery store full sheet cakes to serve. I knew this was going to happen but too bad. Later I found out that she really was banking on my cake for her party budget. But my own sister-in-law was looking for a baker when everyone knows that I own a bakery. She will never get another cake from me. When her daughter gets married, I'll send my $100.00 check. All of my other nieces and nephews get four tier fondant cakes as their gift.

Claire138 Posted 17 Apr 2012 , 5:49am
post #15 of 24

I think we all have a "friend" like this!

rosech Posted 17 Apr 2012 , 8:28am
post #16 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by jgifford

Ok - - say it with me - -

FRIENDS WILL NOT DO THIS TO YOU!!

Therefore, the "friends' discount" DOES NOT apply.

I say full price from now on. You've both given way too much to these people and they have no right to expect any more from you.



Yes, friends will not do this to you. I have made birthday cakes for my cousins (hubby's side). They have been very nice to me in so many ways. Even when I offer free cake, they insist on paying. The only boy in the family is getting married in September. I had suggested that he gives me supplies money and I offer labour as a gift for his wedding cake. He totally refused. In his words,"I do not want to bring the business down". That is what friends do. Because they care.

akaivyleaf Posted 17 Apr 2012 , 1:12pm
post #17 of 24

"no good deed goes unpunished". My Granddaddy used to say that all the time and I didn't understand until I had to deal with "friends" who want something for free. I pay people for their time and effort and I expect the same from others. I pay my friends for what services they provide, seems that one should get the same but not everybody was raised in the same household I was.

You did right by cancelling the order. Good luck in them getting something at this late date remotely as lovely as you would have created for them. Love shows in our work.

kelleym Posted 17 Apr 2012 , 2:12pm
post #18 of 24
Quote:
Quote:

this girl ordered the same size cake for her then boyfriend and we just charged her $45. but HELLO....our usual cake price is DIFFERENT from our wedding cake price!



I think you offered her a reasonable price on a small tiered cake, but this jumped out at me. This could very well have been the reason her expectations were different.

cai0311 Posted 17 Apr 2012 , 4:03pm
post #19 of 24
Quote:
Quote:

Quote:
this girl ordered the same size cake for her then boyfriend and we just charged her $45. but HELLO....our usual cake price is DIFFERENT from our wedding cake price!

I think you offered her a reasonable price on a small tiered cake, but this jumped out at me. This could very well have been the reason her expectations were different.




I thought the exact same thing when I read the OP's first post. If the girl bought the EXACT same cake before, I don't understand why the price would be different now only because the event the cake is being used for is different (wedding vs. birthday).

I understand that some bakeries charge more for wedding cakes because of the time involved with design, consultations... But unless this price difference is clearly stated on your website, I would have thought the same as the bride and expected the same price.

I have 1 price for my cakes. I don't care what you are using the cake for, I put the same care, ingredients, time...into each order so I charge the same.
If you do otherwise, that is up to your business, but make sure it is spelled out on your website.

vgcea Posted 17 Apr 2012 , 5:26pm
post #20 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by cai0311

Quote:
Quote:

Quote:
this girl ordered the same size cake for her then boyfriend and we just charged her $45. but HELLO....our usual cake price is DIFFERENT from our wedding cake price!

I think you offered her a reasonable price on a small tiered cake, but this jumped out at me. This could very well have been the reason her expectations were different.



I thought the exact same thing when I read the OP's first post. If the girl bought the EXACT same cake before, I don't understand why the price would be different now only because the event the cake is being used for is different (wedding vs. birthday).

I understand that some bakeries charge more for wedding cakes because of the time involved with design, consultations... But unless this price difference is clearly stated on your website, I would have thought the same as the bride and expected the same price.

I have 1 price for my cakes. I don't care what you are using the cake for, I put the same care, ingredients, time...into each order so I charge the same.
If you do otherwise, that is up to your business, but make sure it is spelled out on your website.




Same SIZE cake.

kelleym Posted 17 Apr 2012 , 5:38pm
post #21 of 24

I got that it was the same size cake. But the op says "usual cake price" and "wedding cake price". That is what I'm saying may have caused confusion.

As I say in my pricing article linked in my signature, if you are going to have "usual cake prices" and "wedding cake prices" you need to be prepared for just this type of reaction from customers.

In my own legal cottage food business, I have different prices for one-tiered cakes vs. multi-tier cakes, because I can easily articulate why they cost more to produce, in time and supplies. But to me, having "wedding cake prices" is like waving a red flag in front of bridal couples telling them that you're ripping them off, whether it is true or not.

And here is the video again, because it never gets old: (probably not safe for work, some profanity)


vgcea Posted 17 Apr 2012 , 6:00pm
post #22 of 24

^^ Okay I see your point. You're right, one has to be careful how these things are worded.

funtodecorate2 Posted 17 Apr 2012 , 6:08pm
post #23 of 24

loved the video !!

carmijok Posted 17 Apr 2012 , 6:13pm
post #24 of 24

If you want to maintain a friendship...(and from the sound of it why you would, I have no idea), but if you do, just tell her that you value your friendship more than her business...and because you don't offer discounts for anyone....you don't want her to feel obligated to buy from you just because you are a friend that can bake and decorate cakes. It's better to deal with another vendor than to risk problems like this in the future.

I have a dear friend who, unless she gives me carte blanche on design and execution, I will never do another cake for. She LOVES my work for others and brags on me to everyone she knows, yet the last time I worked with her to provide a cake, she turned into a she-beast of indecision. NO design I presented was good enough...then she'd approve something and then change her mind--not enough WOW factor she'd say...but then she'd say a design was too over-the top. I told her she had to trust me or this wasn't going to work. Guess what? No cake. She ended up doing cobbler instead! And that's fine with me. I was about ready to part ways with her over cake...and that was unacceptable.

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