The Friend/customer Who Made Me Quit (A Long Story)

Decorating By Texas_Rose Updated 1 Feb 2013 , 8:56am by mcaulir

Bridgette1129 Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 12:43am
post #31 of 108

The nerve of some people.... they obviously cannot budget or just wanted to get a beautiful cake for free if they can afford a limo and hotel for a sweet 16... I'm so sorry icon_sad.gif

Cakery2012 Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 12:45am
post #32 of 108
Quote:
Originally Posted by DeniseNH

People like that can smell a soft heart like a crow smells fresh roadkill (sorry that's all I could think of - I'm so mad at your neighbor for you). We all get caught and have horrible stories (nothing like yours) but like the saying goes, what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger. Looks like "someone" needed a lesson on how to develop a carbide steel spine.
icon_smile.gif


Bridgette1129 Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 12:55am
post #33 of 108
Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaDear

so don't let this bad experience change who you are... just let it change how you operate...




thumbs_up.gifthumbs_up.gifthumbs_up.gifthumbs_up.gif

kakeladi Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 12:57am
post #34 of 108

vpenkuhn your reply is rude, ugly and totally UNneeded!

step0nmi Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 1:15am
post #35 of 108
Quote:
Originally Posted by kakeladi

vpenkuhn your reply is rude, ugly and totally UNneeded!




wait, WHY? that person was complimenting her story telling, saying that the NEIGHBOR was crazy and that she should go after her dream...i'm confused icon_confused.gif

QTCakes1 Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 1:46am
post #36 of 108
Quote:
Originally Posted by DeeDelightful

I don't mean this in a cruel way AT ALL, but anytime you ALLOW someone to take you through all those changes/criticism for a FREE cake and continue to deal with a BAD customer like that, you may not be cut out for business. There is no way I would have endured all of that. You can get experience making cakes some other way.




I totally agree with this. If your willing to allow a total stranger to take advantage of you on so many levels, maybe business is not for you. It's not for everyone. Maybe you would do better in a different business.

QTCakes1 Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 1:50am
post #37 of 108
Quote:
Originally Posted by step0nmi

Quote:
Originally Posted by kakeladi

vpenkuhn your reply is rude, ugly and totally UNneeded!



wait, WHY? that person was complimenting her story telling, saying that the NEIGHBOR was crazy and that she should go after her dream...i'm confused icon_confused.gif




You and me both, cause I didn't see anything rude either. icon_confused.gif

Bridgette1129 Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 2:01am
post #38 of 108
Quote:
Originally Posted by step0nmi

Quote:
Originally Posted by kakeladi

vpenkuhn your reply is rude, ugly and totally UNneeded!



wait, WHY? that person was complimenting her story telling, saying that the NEIGHBOR was crazy and that she should go after her dream...i'm confused icon_confused.gif




Maybe she just saw the capital letters and thought they were saying her story was false? No idea.... icon_confused.gif

step0nmi Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 2:03am
post #39 of 108
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bridgette1129

Quote:
Originally Posted by step0nmi

Quote:
Originally Posted by kakeladi

vpenkuhn your reply is rude, ugly and totally UNneeded!



wait, WHY? that person was complimenting her story telling, saying that the NEIGHBOR was crazy and that she should go after her dream...i'm confused icon_confused.gif



Maybe she just saw the capital letters and thought they were saying her story was false? No idea.... icon_confused.gif




that's totally possible

idreamincupcakes Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 2:24am
post #40 of 108

Wow, I didn't realize I was grinding my teeth unfil after I finished reading that! So sorry, that woman is awful, what she did and said and claiming your hard work. Awful.

sing Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 2:29am
post #41 of 108
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cakechick123

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlakesCakes

Actually, this experience points out why you should WANT to start a paying business.

With a paying business, you wouldn't have been begging for the money for ingredients....
With a paying business, you wouldn't have had the woman hovering over you at the grocery store or at home while you're baking.
With a paying business, you never would have allowed her to touch those cookies....
With a paying business, you never would have hitched a ride with DH
With a paying business, when someone claimed that the mother had done most of the work on the cake, you would have loudly told her that she was dead wrong.....

With a paying business, you'd never, ever, have to tolerate beggars wanting to be choosers...

With a paying business, you would have heard the words "not enough money left over for the cake" and you WOULD HAVE TOLD HER TO GO ELSEWHERE FOR HER CAKE.............

This will sound harsh, and it's not meant to be but I don't know how else to put it.......you have every right to be angry with these people, but you can only be taken advantage of by others if YOU allow them to do it. You did, and I'd imagine that deep down, you're angry with yourself right now. It's natural & it's OK. Learn from it.

Once they ASK you for the cake, YOU are in the driver's seat and YOU need to stop the bus the second they try to grab the wheel.

Rae



thumbs_up.gif x 10 000 no one can say it any better!




Agreed thumbs_up.gif

melanie-1221 Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 2:47am
post #42 of 108

Don't beat yourself up over this. You do great work and if you enjoy it, keep doing it. I think this happens to a few hobby bakers.
I learned a lesson 2 weeks ago while I was delivering a cake to a friend of a friend. I had just finished setting up the cake and was on my way out the door when a guest at the party ambushed me rambling on about ordering a cake for this, and that, next thing I know she's in tears asking me to "donate" a cake to her uncles funeral. At this point I just wanted out of there and said "ok, but I can't do much on short notice, I'll do what I can" I don't know what he heck I was thinking, but I am always in need of practice ( and I have a hard time saying No) so I let it slide. I was hoping she'd forget about it, and never call. Ohh, she called alright, 27 times in 2 days and also started wanting to make flavor choices, and design choices. I kindly told her "this is not my full time job, I don't have much on hand, I'll do the best I can for you".
I put together what I feel was a nice "FREE" cake and delivered it to her neighbor as she requested because she would be at the funeral. 27 calls in 2 days, but couldn't make 1 call to say "Thank You".
Is it my own fault? Yes, I could have and SHOULD have said no. But I didn't. I was feeling angry , insulted and taken advantage of ,but now I've decided instead of giving up something I enjoy I am going to streamline my customers. If I get any indication that the customer is unreasonable, or just a nightmare from square one, I'm turning down the business no matter how much I like to practice. Some people are just not worth your time, save it for those who are.
Don't let 1 unreasonable person discourage you thumbs_up.gif

Shaz2002 Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 2:51am
post #43 of 108

Thank you so much for writing your story for us.

I also am a hobby baker, work fulltime and have been requested by a workmate to make her a wedding cake (my first one !). I told her that she would have to pay for all the costs associated with it but would donate my time so that I could get experience and put photos in my portfolio.

My husband thought I was mad when I spent an entire weekend detailing all the costs, drawing up three options for her to chose from and typing up three seperate "informal quotes" for her approval. I included details like - if she wanted to go ahead with the order she needed to sign an acceptance and pay a 50% deposit with the remainder due two weeks before the event.

I had no arguments from her - in fact her first words were she was so happy to see something like this as it had given her confidence that I would deliver by having a professional attitude to it - I had thought she might freak out about the cost and thought I might have to give a detailed breakdown but she was happy with it and chose the most expensive.

With part of the money upfront I have been able to start purchasing items for the cake so that there is no stress trying to run around last minute to get everything.

kisamarie Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 3:07am
post #44 of 108

Texas Rose you are so incredibly talented, I never knew you werent in business! OMG I look at your cakes all the time, and you have given me tons of really good advice. Dont let these low lifes stop you from doing something that you are so awesome at, and could have a hugely succesful business doing! You know the truth about the situation and Karma will catch up with those people!

cakelady2266 Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 3:09am
post #45 of 108

Texas_Rose, I hate that happened to you. If you like or love doing cakes don't let this idiot be the reason you give up. Because in all honesty you will have this type customer from time to time, we all do, you can choose whether or not you want to do a cake for them. I say this with love "grow a pair and tell a**holes like that to hit the road the minute they show their ignorance." If you roll over and let someone push you around, the word will get out that you are a pushover. And when that happens sure as 2 plus 2 is 4 other a**holes like your neighbor will be calling.

If you choose to stick to caking and you want to practice working with larger cakes, get some styrofoam dummies or make a larger cake than usual and throw yourself a party. Make a large cake and donate it to your kids school, a nursing home or local business you have some connection with (a relative's office, your bank, the salon that does your hair etc..). It's just a thought.

Onome Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 3:25am
post #46 of 108

Sorry about this incident. You should not let anyone cause you to let go of your dreams. Trust me, I know how you feel. You make great cakes and you should carry on with what you are doing.
Cheer up. I'll be rooting for you somewhere in Texas!

Aislinn Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 3:28am
post #47 of 108

Don't give up... "customers" like this are not as common as it may seem. I was very scared to open my business precisely because of people like this. However, in 2 years I've only had one "Bride-zilla" and I charged her a P.I.T.A fee (Pain In The A$$).
Remember that you are the boss, you know what's right and what you deserve - just let this be a learning experience to shape your business into the way you want to run it and remember that you don't have to take every client that comes to your door!!
Good luck

Annabakescakes Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 3:31am
post #48 of 108
Quote:
Originally Posted by FullHouse

Rae, yours was one of those posts that makes me really wish CC had a LIKE button. thumbs_up.gif


my sentiments, exactly! And hell ya to everything Rae said!!

Annabakescakes Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 3:46am
post #49 of 108

Wait, did you have to walk home with kids and a car seat? Did you get a ride at all? How far did you have to walk?

Oreobo Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 4:15am
post #50 of 108

Sorry about what happened to you, but don't let it be the reason to stop doing what you love. We learn from our mistakes.

planetsomsom Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 4:21am
post #51 of 108

What a horror show! I am so uncomfortable around people that I don't think I would have been able to endure shopping with practical-strangers and inviting them into my home...

It doesn't seem that Texas Rose is all that interested in receiving encouragement to start up a business. Maybe she knows her personal abilities better than we do... If she really wanted to start a business, this wouldn't have stopped her for very long. When you really want something, you eventually find a way.

Janette Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 5:18am
post #52 of 108

Your work is beautiful. Don't quit. That couple isn't wrapped too tight.

When I do cakes I don't take nonsense from anyone. I have told Brides they should look elsewhere because I could tell they were gong to be a pain.

Did you know it's common practice to charge for cutting and serving cake. Usually $1 pp.

Brujalita Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 7:17am
post #53 of 108

You don't need a rude neighbor/friend/family member to be able to practice - purchase a few dummy cakes and practice on those. A whole heck of a lot less drama!!

I'm sorry this happened to you

jr31 Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 8:17am
post #54 of 108

Reading your tale made me want to go out and..... hurt something!
I am also a 'start-up' baker from home and am sad to say I have encountered this person's 'sister' - not such a horror as this but so close.
I do want to say to you tho - please don't give up if this is a passion. For every freakshow like this person, there are several good customers.
best wishes.

countrymama729 Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 9:00am
post #55 of 108

So sorry to hear your story. i cant understand some people. I have had a few bad experiences of my own. I did ny brother in laws wedding cake told his wife that it would cost 75.00 just for the ingredients. She never forked over a dime then had the nerve to ask me for the shirt my hubby wore in it. I told her h**l No! I forked out 45 bucks for it plus the money for the cake. Then she said I thought the cake was a gift. I told her the labor was but the Ingredients werent. She still has not paid me. Another Incident was a cake for a friend. My first wedding cake. The bride overheard my other sister in law say I probably poisoned it. Now shes trying to take up cake decorating. More power to her. All I got to say. There are people out there who will appreciate your cakes. You'll get a few of these though.

countrymama729 Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 9:05am
post #56 of 108

So sorry to hear your story. i cant understand some people. I have had a few bad experiences of my own. I did ny brother in laws wedding cake told his wife that it would cost 75.00 just for the ingredients. She never forked over a dime then had the nerve to ask me for the shirt my hubby wore in it. I told her h**l No! I forked out 45 bucks for it plus the money for the cake. Then she said I thought the cake was a gift. I told her the labor was but the Ingredients werent. She still has not paid me. Another Incident was a cake for a friend. My first wedding cake. The bride overheard my other sister in law say I probably poisoned it. Now shes trying to take up cake decorating. More power to her. All I got to say. There are people out there who will appreciate your cakes. You'll get a few of these though.

countrymama729 Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 9:05am
post #57 of 108

So sorry to hear your story. i cant understand some people. I have had a few bad experiences of my own. I did ny brother in laws wedding cake told his wife that it would cost 75.00 just for the ingredients. She never forked over a dime then had the nerve to ask me for the shirt my hubby wore in it. I told her h**l No! I forked out 45 bucks for it plus the money for the cake. Then she said I thought the cake was a gift. I told her the labor was but the Ingredients werent. She still has not paid me. Another Incident was a cake for a friend. My first wedding cake. The bride overheard my other sister in law say I probably poisoned it. Now shes trying to take up cake decorating. More power to her. All I got to say. There are people out there who will appreciate your cakes. You'll get a few of these though.

missdebbietr Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 9:12am
post #58 of 108

This is a horrible thing to have happened to you. I understand there are people in this world who will take advantage of whatever and whoever they can, but it completely blows my mind. Basically I just wanted to say, that from your from your pics, you have an amazing talent. Do what you must, but quitting seems to be "letting" these people "win" somehow. I wish you the very best of luck and happiness. And, to HELL with those jerks!! Take care, Debbie

rosech Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 9:16am
post #59 of 108
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brujalita

purchase a few dummy cakes and practice on those.




Doing a 3 tier dummy is different from doing a 3 tier real cake. Working on the support system and other factors. Practising on a cake where u get ingredients costs covered might be better than buying all ingredients for donation cake. I understand u TR.

I have a professional job and do cakes part time. I am always dreaming and thinking about cakes whilst working. Most cakes are paid for, whether its family, friends, workmates neighbors. Priced differently depending on how close one is to me. I am increasing my prices gradually as I improve and understand how much time it takes to finish a project. I do not do as much as I would like to do because of work. Very frustrating. I don't even enjoy my work as much as I enjoy caking. My boss sucks. My work environment sucks. I know my heart is in caking and I hope to go into it full time one day. I know there will be challenges just as there are challenges with my day job. That's what life is all about. You deal with PITA situations. If u make a mistake, learn from it and move on.

Be still for a while and think about what will make you happy. Take that road and live life abundantly. Jerks should never determine the course of your life. They are not worth it.

Best wishes.

myxstorie Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 10:45am
post #60 of 108

I haven't read all the replies to your post, but I hope you don't let her make you quit. Not only are your cakes far too lovely for that, but she sounds like the kind of person who would get far too much satisfaction out of it - didn't she say herself that she'd get lessons from you so that she can make money? Your willingness to give up because of the trouble she put you through would probably make someone like her feel like she'd accomplished something, and because I'm a spiteful kind of person at heart, I wouldn't want to give her that pleasure. Pick yourself up and keep going, and take it as a lesson learned? icon_smile.gif

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