On Tell People No Politely?

Decorating By Misoranomegami Updated 9 Nov 2011 , 1:11am by johnson6ofus

Misoranomegami Posted 7 Nov 2011 , 9:24pm
post #1 of 13

I'm sure I'm not the only person who's been in this situation.

I do some amateur cake decorating just for fun and one of the things I do is make a cake for each of my friend's birthdays. One those friends got a new roomate who has a little girl who lost her father and was starting a new life in a new town with a new school. So when my friend volunteered to make a cake for the school fundraiser back in August and decided she didn't have time I volunteered to make a barrel cake and apparently it was a big hit.

Fastforward to last Wednesday and I get an email saying the little girl's birthday is this week and could I make something for a party with 8 people at it since it's her first time inviting her new friends over this (last weekend)? I figure I can whip up a batch of cupcakes. Get a repsonse back saying no it has to be a barrel cake. She wants one just like the school. Oh but mom says no chocolate. And it's not for the party anymore, it's for her family who's visiting in the middle of the week. I say okay but I'll bake the cake but she'll need to provide the candy and tell her how much she'll need. Then she comes back and says oh now they're getting a different cake for the family so can I make something for next weekend that's like a barell cake but is actually a castle and the mom would like it to be tiered and now its for 12 people.

I really don't have time for this. I work a full time job and since August have started back up in college. I feel sorry for the little girl but the reason I made a barrell cake in the first place is that they're quick and the candy hides all the sins. I don't want to make things hard for my friend with her roomate but for crying out loud I don't owe her anything and she (the mom) doesn't see why a castle would be any harder than a barrell or some cupcakes which I already agreed to. GRRRRRRRR. So how do people either direct people to something that is reasonable or tell them no politely?

12 replies
jason_kraft Posted 7 Nov 2011 , 9:47pm
post #2 of 13

I would just say that you have time to make cupcakes for the party, but the barrel cake is a lot more labor-intensive so you won't be able to complete it in time. You can also recommend a reputable local bakery that can make the cake, so if she calls the bakery the value of the cake will be reinforced.

jamieq Posted 7 Nov 2011 , 9:53pm
post #3 of 13

I personally would say exactly that. "I really would love to provide a cake item for your daughter, but all I really have the availability for right now, is a batch of cupcakes." and leave it at that. You said it yourself that you owe her nothing, and you shoud by no means put yourself out to what this mother is obviously encroaching on you with. You agreed to cupcakes, take it or leave it. I think it is lovely that you are being so dog-gone kind to them in the first place. It is hard when you feel so much for a child and then a selfish adult has to step in and ruin it!

kakeladi Posted 7 Nov 2011 , 10:00pm
post #4 of 13

Since the time frame for when (& what) they want has changed simply tell them you are not avaialable then.
OR tell them how much a castle cake would cost - like upwords of $80.
It really is impossible to make a castle cake 'just for 12 people'. Tell them the smallest possible castle cake would cost much more IF you even had time to make it.

costumeczar Posted 7 Nov 2011 , 11:45pm
post #5 of 13

Yur three options seem to be to tell them that you can't do it, that you have a limit of cupcakes, or how much it's going to cost.

This isn't a cake for the little girl anymore, it's a cake for her family. Just say no!

GeminiRJ Posted 8 Nov 2011 , 6:47pm
post #6 of 13

When I read your post, the first thing that popped into my head was the saying, "No good deed goes unpunished." Your good deed barrel cake is coming back to haunt you! Simply tell the mom that what she wants is beyond what your schedule will allow. If it makes her unhappy, don't even think about feeling guilty! The world won't end if she doesn't get a fancy castle cake!

JadedJenn Posted 8 Nov 2011 , 8:44pm
post #7 of 13

What is a barrel cake?

luckylibra Posted 8 Nov 2011 , 9:28pm
post #8 of 13

typically it is a cake surrounded by kit kats and covered in m&m's or something on top. search Barrel cake in the galleries and you should find a ton

Chonte Posted 8 Nov 2011 , 9:31pm
post #9 of 13

Jaded, this is a barrel cake
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3269/4567692560_6385f2e4dd.jpg

and i agree. just say no. i have this problem with my grandmother all the time too i made a cake for her church bake sale and now every time there is an event she expects me to supply cake for 50+ people at the drop of a hat. just have to learn to politely decline

Apti Posted 8 Nov 2011 , 10:03pm
post #10 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by jason_kraft

I would just say that you have time to make cupcakes for the party, but the barrel cake is a lot more labor-intensive so you won't be able to complete it in time. You can also recommend a reputable local bakery that can make the cake, so if she calls the bakery the value of the cake will be reinforced.




ditto.

jewels710 Posted 9 Nov 2011 , 12:19am
post #11 of 13

How much decoration would she want on cupcakes? The barrel cake looks like it would not take as long as intricate cupcakes.
Up charge a barrel and give her the option, but no way is there time for a castle.

Jennifer1970 Posted 9 Nov 2011 , 12:43am
post #12 of 13

Just say no and don't feel badly about it.

johnson6ofus Posted 9 Nov 2011 , 1:11am
post #13 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by costumeczar

Yur three options seem to be to tell them that you can't do it, that you have a limit of cupcakes, or how much it's going to cost.


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Greed and abuse of your generosity. Just say no.....

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