I'm Getting Some Anxiety About This!!! Vent

Decorating By step0nmi Updated 15 Sep 2011 , 4:07am by step0nmi

step0nmi Posted 6 Sep 2011 , 2:32am
post #1 of 39

I decided that I needed to get real stern, in writing, with this bride today. icon_twisted.gif

She came to me through a friend from school and is DESPERATE icon_confused.gif because she is planning her Serbian wedding of like 500-700 people and it's in less than 2 WEEKS. icon_eek.gif OH THANK GOD she didn't want a wedding cake for that many people icon_wink.gif She only wanted a cake for like 150 because all the women in the family like to make desserts and she is planning on having like 3 dessert tables, I know it's crazy!

So we schedule to meet up today so that I can get payment for the cake and what does she do...flake on me icon_mad.gif Like, as I'm driving to meet her she sends me a text stating she forgot she had family coming up from Chicago in like 5 mins and needed to cancel.

I can't believe I didn't say NO at this point icon_redface.gif

I told her there's no way to reschedule/cancel because I need money NOW or I can't do the cake.

She sends her mother in law icon_confused.gif I couldn't believe it. Of course we aren't going to be able to make any decisions without the bride there!

So, I wrote out a few choice things on my contract and decided to get real short with her through email. At the end of the payment details I put "Please read second page of contract and sign and date and enclose with deposit. If the deposit doesn't reach me by the above date I will not be able to full fill your order." She literally has 2 days to get me payments...now it's in writing and i feel good about it icon_twisted.gif

buuut I still have anxiety about all this! it's so close to the date and I'm only giving her ideas of what I think i "can" do in the time allotted which makes me feel better about all this...but I would also really love to do this cake. I almost feel like I'm being too nice! I really do have the time and didn't have ANY orders for this month icon_sad.gif even my regular customer canceled on me for certain circumstances.

what do you guys think? man, feels good to get this off my chest icon_lol.gif

38 replies
Ursula40 Posted 6 Sep 2011 , 2:41am
post #2 of 39

What you are only getting the deposit and the wedding is in 2 weeks?

I would get full payment up front, definate choice of design by tomorrow, give her two doable options only. No contract, payment or choice by tomorrow, even if ONE of these points are unclear or not met, NO CAKE!

step0nmi Posted 6 Sep 2011 , 2:47am
post #3 of 39

well, i already wrote it out. icon_sad.gif

she said she wanted to see the cake before she gave full payment, but I specified that it would have to be cash or Money order before the wedding...no check.

I DUNNO! icon_cry.gif I told you I was being too nice!

step0nmi Posted 6 Sep 2011 , 2:48am
post #4 of 39

so, should I change my mind and write her back? :p

jules5000 Posted 6 Sep 2011 , 2:54am
post #5 of 39

stepOnmi: I agree withUrsula40, with only 2 weeks to go you need the full amount of the cake. She needs to make a decision on one of two choices and you have to get busy with the cakes very soon. If she thinks that she can fool around and go meet company and all of that then she may find herself without a cake.

Her family may just have to make all the desserts as you should not be expected to jump through hoops no matter how bad you want to do this cake. You have to be allowed proper time to do a cake according to your standards, whatever they are, and nothing less will do. I can guarantee you that no one else would take a cake for less then 2 weeks to go and not get the whole amount and a signed contract on top of that. Your name says what you are allowing her to do. step on mi . You need to change your name on here and stand up for yourself. Girlfriend, you need to get even firmer than you believe that you already have. and whoever referred you to her needs to understand that given the circumstances she can't be upset with you if you can't do the cake in the time given. Well that is by the time all the decisions are made on it and you get the whole amount of mney and a signed contract from the bride.

CreativeCakesbyMichelle Posted 6 Sep 2011 , 2:56am
post #6 of 39

No way would I agree to the "see the cake before she gave full payment" that she wants. So what happens if she says she doesn't like the cake? She leaves the cake and you don't get paid for all the work you've done? Or she tries to negotiate down the price so you get screwed that way? It sounds like she's setting you up to try to pay you less than what you've quoted for the price. I say write her back and tell her that due to the extremely short notice you will need full payment before you start work on the cake. Having no orders this month is better than getting an order that you end up making no money on or losing money on.

ETA: She's having a wedding with 500-700 guests and didn't think to order the cake before now???

step0nmi Posted 6 Sep 2011 , 2:59am
post #7 of 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by jules5000

stepOnmi: I agree withUrsula40, with only 2 weeks to go you need the full amount of the cake. She needs to make a decision on one of two choices and you have to get busy with the cakes very soon. If she thinks that she can fool around and go meet company and all of that then she may find herself without a cake.

Her family may just have to make all the desserts as you should not be expected to jump through hoops no matter how bad you want to do this cake. You have to be allowed proper time to do a cake according to your standards, whatever they are, and nothing less will do. I can guarantee you that no one else would take a cake for less then 2 weeks to go and not get the whole amount and a signed contract on top of that. Your name says what you are allowing her to do. step on mi . You need to change your name on here and stand up for yourself. Girlfriend, you need to get even firmer than you believe that you already have. and whoever referred you to her needs to understand that given the circumstances she can't be upset with you if you can't do the cake in the time given. Well that is by the time all the decisions are made on it and you get the whole amount of mney and a signed contract from the bride.




you know...you could've given some tough love without "stomping" on my childhood nickname...hurts enough you know. it's a play on words...my name is Stephanie. Thank you thumbsdown.gif

step0nmi Posted 6 Sep 2011 , 3:06am
post #8 of 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by CreativeCakesbyMichelle

No way would I agree to the "see the cake before she gave full payment" that she wants. So what happens if she says she doesn't like the cake? She leaves the cake and you don't get paid for all the work you've done? Or she tries to negotiate down the price so you get screwed that way? It sounds like she's setting you up to try to pay you less than what you've quoted for the price. I say write her back and tell her that due to the extremely short notice you will need full payment before you start work on the cake. Having no orders this month is better than getting an order that you end up making no money on or losing money on.

ETA: She's having a wedding with 500-700 guests and didn't think to order the cake before now???




I felt for the girl...she's planning this wedding all by herself AND working full time. I totally get that I don't need to have sympathy for someone in this situation.


I've reinstated what I originally said about full payment up front. I guess from here we'll see what she says icon_redface.gif

now i really hope i get some sleep tonight icon_sad.gif

Ursula40 Posted 6 Sep 2011 , 3:08am
post #9 of 39

Stephanie, you have to put your foot down on this situation. A bride, who is inviting 500-600 guests to her wedding and isn't capable of making up her mind on the cake, needs to find out the hard way, that life can be difficult and she HAS to be able to make choices. IF she really wants cake, she WILL give you the money beforehand or have to do without. I would definately not even start thinking of making the cake and letting her pay me on delivery, she's too flaky for that. An organised bride would have prdered the cake well beforehand. I somehow feel, that another baker probably dropped her and she's scrambling to find someone who will agree to her terms. In this instance I would tend to go towards, your terms are safer for you than her terms

Ursula40 Posted 6 Sep 2011 , 3:10am
post #10 of 39

Sleep well, don't let her distrub your rest, should the order come through in the end, you need all the rest beforehand and if not, well, more beauty sleep for youicon_smile.gif))

step0nmi Posted 6 Sep 2011 , 3:15am
post #11 of 39

Thank you Ursula...it's because of what you said that I wrote her again and explained that if I'm going to do the cake I need adequate time to prepare. I know I didn't need to give her an explanation but i do feel that she understood the situation.

and you are correct, if she really wants to cake she will follow through with what I said. so, i will get some sleep icon_smile.gif

Bluehue Posted 6 Sep 2011 , 3:47am
post #12 of 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by step0nmi

well, i already wrote it out. icon_sad.gif

she said she wanted to see the cake before she gave full payment,

I had a bride ask me this once - so i emailed her and asked if she could be at my door between 3.15AM and 4AM on the Friday morning......... as that is when i expect the cake to be completed....
I also mentioned to her that i wouldn't have time to stand around and chat as i would be cleaning up and stacking the dishwasher - so don't think me rude if i don't offer a coffee.... as i plan on falling into bed by 4.30AM.


Surprise surprise icon_confused.gif she declined saying - no way is she coming over at THAT TIME ........ as she would be bed sleeping.

My return email to her............Ohhhh dear - what a shame.
No matter - your cake will be goreous and as requested by you.
Have a lovely sound sleep - and take care


Bluehue.
.......... icon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gif

and that but I specified that it would have to be cash or Money order before the wedding...no check.

I DUNNO! icon_cry.gif I told you I was being too nice!

We are all nice - but sometimes we just need to be cake smart....

Nice gets them a cake icon_smile.gif
Cake smart ensures we get paid ....before delivery. icon_biggrin.gif

And sometimes just coming on here and talking makes it all that much clearer and sets us on the right path...

Bluehue.
.


shanter Posted 6 Sep 2011 , 4:01am
post #13 of 39

Stephanie,
I don't think that Jules 5000 meant to offend you by suggesting that you change your name on the forum. I've seen your name before and thought "What a silly, self-defeatist name!" There are SO many posts in these forums about how we cannot let clients walk all over us, it just seems an unwise name. We had no way of knowing it was your childhood nickname.

jules5000 Posted 6 Sep 2011 , 1:03pm
post #14 of 39

Stephanie, I am very sorry, my intent would never be to make fun of someone or their nicknname. It just kind of caught my eye when I was thinking that if something doesn't give soon that you would be allowing her to step on you. Please forgive. It was never my intent to hurt you. NO matter what else I said that was my last intent.

jules5000 Posted 6 Sep 2011 , 1:08pm
post #15 of 39

Thank you Shanter: you got that in before I had a chance to get myapology in. Thanks again.

Cakewishes Posted 6 Sep 2011 , 3:54pm
post #16 of 39

Stephanie - I get a feeling that you will not hear from the bride until the very last minutes - not the 2 days that you gave her - based on her previous actions. In any case, the choice to do the cake at that point is yours, but make sure you get all the money up front and you know what. . . . if she does wait until the last minute, charge her a last minute fee. It seems to me that a person having a 500-600 attendee wedding must not be too hard up for cash.

sadsmile Posted 6 Sep 2011 , 4:19pm
post #17 of 39

Sounds very gypsy-ish. I advise you get the payment upfront and then you have nothing to worry about. Be firmer.

step0nmi Posted 6 Sep 2011 , 5:48pm
post #18 of 39

i appreciate the apology about the name. I thought it was just that people could come on here and give some advice without criticizing a name...it's actually something I just use on sites as a way to say my name without writing it out now days.

She has in writing that I need payment and decision on cake for Wednesday...if she calls me after that I am saying NO. I've done it before and I'll do it again....I actually have no problem with that. even if she came to me with money in hand...the answer would be no. icon_wink.gif

Cakewishes Posted 6 Sep 2011 , 5:53pm
post #19 of 39

Good for you. Good Luck!

AnnieCahill Posted 6 Sep 2011 , 7:21pm
post #20 of 39

LOL Stephanie, I had a girlfriend in high school with the same name and we used to call her that...

Anyway, what is with people wanting to see the cake? Do they not have enough faith and trust in the baker? If she isn't involved whatsoever in the cake design then that's her fault. You can't be faulted if she doesn't like the end result.

Some people...

dawncr Posted 6 Sep 2011 , 7:30pm
post #21 of 39

Oddly enough, I didn't think Stephanie or "Step on me" when I first saw your user name when I joined. (You've been around here a long time!)

I saw it as "Step-mommy" pronounced by a toddler who didn't say it correctly. I thought it was sweet.

Maybe your user name is a projective test......

step0nmi Posted 7 Sep 2011 , 1:02am
post #22 of 39

i think some of you guys may be right...she is either going to try and get me last minute OR she's going to decide not to do the cake at all. I haven't heard from her all day :p

step0nmi Posted 7 Sep 2011 , 2:27am
post #23 of 39

WOOOW! She just called me...I don't care that it's late cuz i'm always up late. We finalized a design and she's coming to me tomorrow! I may just have to eat my words!

SweetSuzieQ Posted 7 Sep 2011 , 2:34am
post #24 of 39
Quote:
Quote:

she said she wanted to see the cake before she gave full payment




LOL, that would be enough for me to run the other direction! HA What this to mean says is, "I plan to try and get the cake for cheaper than what you quoted me."

Glad to hear that she called you and, hope that she does follow through with it!

MommieK Posted 7 Sep 2011 , 2:39am
post #25 of 39

Stephanie, glad that you are happy with the outcome. Let us all know how it ends and be sure to upload a pic.

Cakewishes Posted 7 Sep 2011 , 8:00pm
post #26 of 39

Stephanie - I hope she shows up. Good luck and keep us posted.

step0nmi Posted 8 Sep 2011 , 1:22am
post #27 of 39

well, i caved icon_surprised.gifpps: she showed up with $200 in cash and didn't see the other email I sent last minute. You know what...at this point it's my fault for sending it trying to go back on my original deal.

BUT she had cash and said she WOULD pay the rest in cash icon_wink.gif she was still on the kick of having to see the cake first, ugh. so i explained to her that she's just going to have to trust me and that if she hadn't paid all the other vendors in full then they were not good business people...also, that once she tasted my cake and signed the contract that was it.

remaining money has to be to me by monday...i'm good with this. it feels good to help someone that's sooooo clueless icon_twisted.gif

BlakesCakes Posted 8 Sep 2011 , 1:49am
post #28 of 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by step0nmi

well, i caved icon_surprised.gifpps: she showed up with $200 in cash and didn't see the other email I sent last minute. You know what...at this point it's my fault for sending it trying to go back on my original deal.




Sorry......this is a young person who "didn't see" an e-mail that you sent on the 5th--2 days ago???????? icon_eek.gificon_eek.gificon_eek.gificon_eek.gif

I wish you well, but this doesn't pass the sniff test for me. icon_confused.gif

Oh, and given the circumstances, you should be in the driver's seat, so it's not "your fault" trying to make sure that not only does she get her cake, but that you get paid, too icon_twisted.gif

Please, please, if she doesn't show up with the money on Mon., don't chase her or "work with her".............I just feel like maybe she's spreading around little deposits here & there--enough to get vendors comfortable and "started"--and that when it comes to paying in full, it'll become the vendor's problem trying to collect.

And no, no, no preview of the cake---not in person, not by phone, not via internet!!!!!!!

Good Luck!
Rae

step0nmi Posted 8 Sep 2011 , 2:04am
post #29 of 39

thanks blakescakes...I think at this point she's scared enough she's not going to get the cake icon_twisted.gif speaking with her she had no clue how i did business and from a friend i'm sure she thought she could get away with it AND/OR is trying to scrounge up some money for the cake now.

thanks. i feel ok about this...if it's doesn't work out well then i've learned :p

Apti Posted 8 Sep 2011 , 2:32am
post #30 of 39

Over the past 2 years of reading posts, I've learned great respect for Rae of BlakesCakes. Not only can you do FABULOUS cakes, Rae, but you run your business as a business.

Steponmi, you can't go wrong following BlakesCakes suggestions. Additionally, if you do some research on Serbian wedding customs, you'll find that the dessert bar is a huge, fun, event and that wedding cakes are just a tiny part of the overall celebration. If the bride can't pay you in full, in cash, on Monday, and you have to say, "No cake. Period."; don't beat yourself up over it, this is NOT a traditional USA-style wedding and the celebration won't grind to a halt with no wedding cake. (Serbian weddings sound like a BLAST!)

Look forward to hearing that everything turns out well and that you get all your money on Monday!

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