I have a group of friends, ( 6 of us) who get together on each summer "holiday" 3 of the six are homeowners with nice yards and they each take a turn hosting the holiday bbq. (We get together many other times too, not just summer)

Well, here it is, tuesday before Labor Day weekend, and I have not heard a word about a cookout.

Five of the girls got together earlier in the month to go to an "American Idol" concert. (I was unable to attend) I have a feeling plans may have been set when they were together. I don't recall getting an email (I try not to blindly delete them anymore ). I know there was no phone call or text about it. Maybe there is no party this weekend.

I feel a little funny calling the would-be hostess and asking and If I ask one of the other girls, they will be on the phone to J in a heartbeat and I think that would also be embarrassing for both of us.

Not sure at this point if I even WANT to go and spend another day listening to everyone's "tale of woe".

What would you do?

Just call the hostess...tell her you haven't heard anything yet and are they still having a Labor Day bbq? If she says yes, ask what to bring and at least stop by for a little while, since it's been a tradition for you and your friends.

This is probably a case of everyone thinking someone else has invited you, and if you didn't turn up, they'd feel terrible for having accidentally excluded you.