Stranger Wants Me To Teach?

Decorating By aces413 Updated 31 Jul 2011 , 12:49pm by KimLynnC

aces413 Posted 30 Jul 2011 , 8:51pm
post #1 of 15

Hi all--

I just posted a photo of one of my cakes on Facebook, and someone I don't know messaged me saying she loved my cake and wanted to see more. So, I let her add me so she could see more of my cakes. Turns out, she wants me to teach her how to decorate so she can use that skill when she goes into business. She doesn't have the time to take a Wilton class, she says.

First off, I've only been doing this for about 2 years (probably less), and I've been teaching myself/learning as I go. I don't feel like I should be teaching anyone at this point. I also get super nervous while being watched when I do anything, especially something involving special skills. Most importantly, I just don't want to do it. I'm afraid she's going to be pushy about it because I posted a completely unrelated Status about an hour after I got her message, and she commented "check ur messages". ::sigh::

What should I say? I don't want to try to scare her off by charging her for lessons (because I don't want to, even for $, and I also don't think I have the experience/knowledge to warrant charging anyone). Thoughts? I'm guessing I should just be honest about my concerns (above), but I'm not sure how to say "I don't want to" in a nice

14 replies
Nazarine Posted 30 Jul 2011 , 9:03pm
post #2 of 15

Red flags just went up all over the place!
1) She is a stranger - ding, ding. Strike One. I would de-friend her or put your cakes on another Facebook page so she doesn't have access to your personal information.

2) Second strike - She wants to go into business but doesn't have time for a Wilton 1 class??? Doesn't that sound odd to you? What kind of person has plans to open a business without taking a introductory course first?

3) You don't want to do it. End of discussion for her. You don't even know this person and owe her nothing. She can push all she wants. Block her on facebook and make your page visible to friends only. Third strike - s/he's out.

I don't mean to sound harsh or like some paranoid freak but there is enough going on here that would make me run. I don't trust anyone online, especially someone who pops up out of the blue like this. Please be safe!!! I would rather you run the risk of offending this person than get caught in a bad situation. Besides, it's not even an opportunity that you want so there's nothing for you to lose here. I'm not saying be rude to her, but just say you don't offer instruction and leave it at that. She doesn't need a reason. Let us know what happens!

bobwonderbuns Posted 30 Jul 2011 , 9:04pm
post #3 of 15

What did you just tell us? "Most importantly, I just don't want to do it." Okay, tell her that. Politely. "Hey Babs, I'm sorry, I won't be able to accommodate you. Good luck to you!" After that you owe her nothing. Remember, to thine own self be true -- or nobody else will! icon_biggrin.gif Let us know how it goes.

jason_kraft Posted 30 Jul 2011 , 9:16pm
post #4 of 15

I don't think there's anything to be worried about from a safety perspective. But if you don't want to offer lessons, just say you're not offering lessons right now. Pointing them to other resources (both local classes and web sites like CakeCentral) would be helpful. I certainly wouldn't block them, keeping this person in your network might prove useful down the road if she follows through and opens a business.

And don't sell yourself short, based on your photos you have a good amount of talent with fondant and some creative ideas. The going rate for private lessons can be $40-60+/hour depending on the area.

aces413 Posted 30 Jul 2011 , 9:26pm
post #5 of 15

Thanks for the support everyone. And thank you to Jason for the means a lot to me! icon_smile.gif I did, however, sell myself short in my response to her...haha. Not that I was disregarding your advice, I just decided to respond to her before I saw your comment!

Here's what I said:

"Thanks for the compliment! I'm flattered that you'd ask me for lessons, but honestly, I just don't offer them. I've only been doing this for a few months and I've been teaching myself and learning as I go. I don't have enough experience/knowledge to teach anyone at this point. I think you'd get a lot more from a "real" teacher. Plus, it makes me nervous when people watch me work. haha.
I know _____ offers classes in the evenings, starting again this fall. Check 'em out! They're on _____ near the YMCA. ::link::

Best of luck to you! icon_smile.gif "

I don't think I could've been any I can't imagine her taking issue with that response.

bakencake Posted 30 Jul 2011 , 9:35pm
post #6 of 15

sounds like you figured out what to do here is another post that sounds just like this one hth

playingwithsugar Posted 30 Jul 2011 , 9:35pm
post #7 of 15

If this person doesn't have time for a 2-hour wilton class, what would make me think she has the time to take a class from me?

Just tell her sorry, but you do not offer lessons.

Theresa icon_smile.gif

jason_kraft Posted 30 Jul 2011 , 9:38pm
post #8 of 15
Originally Posted by playingwithsugar

If this person doesn't have time for a 2-hour wilton class, what would make me think she has the time to take a class from me?

It's possible that this person's schedule conflicts with when Wilton classes are normally offered. This would not be an issue for private lessons as long as the teacher has availability.

coloradoflower Posted 30 Jul 2011 , 10:39pm
post #9 of 15

First thing I would do is de-friend her, next not sure if its a your personal page but if so. I would change your privacy settings so that way no one can check out your profile. Too many creepy people use facebook. Just ignore her requests, maybe she'll get the hint. Send her a message that your schedule doesn't allow time for you to teach anyone and refer her to websites where she can learn on her own. If she keeps bothering you tell her to leave you alone or you will contact the police for harassment. Don't do it!

tokazodo Posted 30 Jul 2011 , 11:00pm
post #10 of 15

Please be careful with strangers on facebook. People can be whoever they want to be on facebook.

You wouldn't know it to look at me, but I was a capo with a mafia of over 5000 thugs. (Mafia Wars) It became an obsession and I used a fake name with an icon of a kick butt female. Creeps where coming out of the wood work.
I got so obsessed with the game at one point, I had 3 fake facebook accounts just for the game so I could 'feed', the main player. I had to give up the game and close out the accounts, it was becoming an issue with my marriage. Now I obsess over cake!
You can go anywhere and download a photo of anyone or anything and create a fake account.
When I told my son what I had done, (my son, computer science geek, computer science degree, super genius) decided to do a social experiment.
He created a facebook page and posted a picture of a hot female. (my son, the 6'4", 200 pound football playing computer geek had just become a 5'8" blonde babe)
His fake facebook page added 25 friends daily, again pulling creeps out of the woodwork.

You can check your privacy settings on facebook and block it so that only people you friend can see your stuff.
Please be careful and don't be forced into doing anything you don't want to do.

dldbrou Posted 30 Jul 2011 , 11:32pm
post #11 of 15

If she still insist that you teach her after your letter, tell her that maybe she should watch the You Tub videos or buy some of the DVD's on cake decorating. That way she can keep referencing them.

Do not let her hound you, just stand firm and block her if she becomes a pain.

playingwithsugar Posted 31 Jul 2011 , 10:26am
post #12 of 15

I wouldn't suggest anything. If this is a legit request, she could live 3 blocks away from you. No competition, thank you.

Theresa icon_smile.gif

Alana7 Posted 31 Jul 2011 , 11:16am
post #13 of 15
Originally Posted by Nazarine

I would de-friend her or put your cakes on another Facebook page so she doesn't have access to your personal information.

I too found I was befriending strangers just because of my fb album of cakes. I like to limit my fb "friends" to a few REAL friends icon_smile.gif - so I opened another page just for the cakes. Anytime someone wants to see my cakes, I just direct them to the new one. That helped a lot, but if you see my last post (on the same subject), the requests to watch me decorate, to "help" me, or to teach doesn't stop. icon_rolleyes.gif

shaekae81 Posted 31 Jul 2011 , 12:38pm
post #14 of 15

I have to fully agree with opening a seperate FB fan page just for your cakes. I did that a couple of months ago and it was the best decision I have made regarding cake!

People I do cakes for have requested to friend me on my personal page and I ignore them. For one, my personal page is just that....PERSONAL....If I mouth off on a subject or brag (or rag) on my children, my customers don't need to see all of that. They can admire my work from the fan page. icon_smile.gif

I also have a cake album on my personal page and upload most of my cakes there as well...that way friends who are not local still get to see my work but don't have "like" my other page if they wish not to.

I think you handled the situation very well and worded your response appropriately. I do think you should give yourself more credit though....just because you use your own techniques does not mean your skills are not worthy of teaching icon_wink.gif Most awesomeness starts with an orthodox method! icon_smile.gif

KimLynnC Posted 31 Jul 2011 , 12:49pm
post #15 of 15

If she doesn't have time for Wilton classes, how does she have time to take lessons from you? That's just kinda wierd.

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