Not sure how to deal/approach this.....

I have a good friend, we've been friends since HS, but it's been more of a "call you when I need you, my life sucks" type thing, rather than the "Hey, let's just hang out" type friend.

She's getting married in September. Originally asked for a 3 tier, beach themed wedding cake, all 3 tiers a different flavor and filling, BC, with white choc shells for deco, and travel 2.5 hours to deliver the cake. I told her I'd do it for $200, basically my costs for the cake. This was in May.

Since then she has made the following changes (not all at once, but since May and even since a cake testing):

* she wants the white choc decos to have a coconut flavoring to it
* the white/raspberry cake now needs to be white choc cake w/ rasp filling
* added a 4th tier (decided she wanted to keep the top tier afterall)
* the choc/peanut butter tier she now wants choc fudge with reese cups filling
* she wants it allcovered in fondant

Ok, she's killing me!!! Not to mention the cost is going to go way over $200!

How would you handle it?

I would tell her based on the changes the price will be more. You are charging for supplies and not even the time to do it.

I always like the idea of invoices, even for friends so they "see" what it is worth. Like-

3 tier cake $500
add 4th tier $100
gourmet filling upgrade $50
Add chocolate decos $50

My gift to you...... $500

That way, she sees what the "upgrades" cost and knows she will be responsible for the added costs.

Just be straight with her. She'll only take advantage of you if you let her. The cost you gave her was based on what you originally discussed. If things change, especially an additional tier...the price changes too.

I had a "friend" like this. Notice the I say "had", not "have." My guess is that if you tell her you can only do the new design for a new price she'll be offended that you're daring to ruin her big day. Me me me me me me me!

I'd tell her that you can do the new cake, but that it will have a higher price because it's totally different than what you had agreed to do. Then charge her what you'd charge normally, with a small discount if you're feeling generous. Which I wouldn't be after someone tried to take advantage of me. She'll either say okay, or have a fit, at which point you should decide that buying a toaster is a whole lot less stress than baking a cake and transporting it 2 1/2 hours away for an ungrateful vampire friend.

Give her an invoice for what the cake will cost her and subtract the $200 you were going to do the cake for. Then tell her this will be her balance that she will owe. Tell her you need to know by x date if she would still like you to make the cake and when she will have to pay by.

Keep it short and sweet. She can only take advantage of you if you let her.

"call you when I need you, my life sucks" type thing, rather than the "Hey, let's just hang out" type friend."


That right there tells me what kind of a friend she is. Someone that uses people when she needs something. If I had a "friend" like that i would tell her what I would charge a regular customer and then maybe give her a 20% discount.

"Calls you when she needs you" is not a friend. Why would you call her a friend? I find that ver strange. I had a "friend" who liked the free cakes. When I told her she ahd to start paying for them, she started getting them from Wal-Mart.

She's no friend. As soon as she realised what a great 'deal' you were prepared to give her, she decided to see how much more she can get out of you. She's taking advantage. I'm willing to bet she's only asking for all these upgrades because she thinks you won't charge for them (or at least won't charge anything near what they're worth). Tell her what the new price is for the revised cake (not being so generous this time!) and ask her to pay by xxxdate if she still wishes to proceed with the order.

Hmmmmmmm, if she was a 'good friend' you wouldn't be posting on here, if she was a 'good friend' she wouldn't be taking advantage of your 'friendship' and keep upping the ante. You might just need to have a little chat with her and point out all the changes she has made since May and that there is a significant difference in the cost iand time involved. Make her aware that the money she is paying you for the cake is covering the cost of ingredients etc, but your 'gift' to her is your time. Spell it out that you will be spending xx hours at a normal cost of $xx per hour on HER cake. Be sweet and kind, but stick to your guns. If you walk away without reaching a happy compromise, you will become resentful and won't enjoy making the cake.
All the best with it.

Thanks everyone for your input, which is pretty much what I was thinking too, but wanted to hear someone else say it, lol. I am going to break everything down to her in writing and show her where we are at and see where it goes. Her wedding is in September, so she still has time to go somewhere else if she feels the need to.

Shoot, my delivery fee for a 2.5 hour delivery would have been WAY more than $200!

She wants to add bells and whistles? Those cost extra.

When planning a wedding, changes always cost $$.

Change the dress from polyester to silk=$$$$$$$

Change the meal from chicken to steak=$$$$$$$

Change the venue from backyard to church=$$$$

Change the cake flavors from basic to premium=$$$$$$

If she doesn't "get it"--well, no cake for her and no guilt for you. You told her straight up that you were giving her your time, not the ingredients. She upped the ingredients $$, not you, so she either pays it or goes back to the original plan.

Rae

Then in addition to the extra supplies there is a 10-15% aggravation fee!

Let us know what happens.

Okay, I know you are trying to be nice because she knew you in high school, but if she was not asking you to do the cake, would you be willing to travel 2 hours to her wedding and buy her an expensive gift?

If not, then put all of your cost down, not just what you are purchasing at the grocery store. Include electricity/gas to cook cakes, percentage of equipment (pans, tips, etc), travel expenses, time spent designing, pita changes.

Remember, she is only using you because of your talent and even though you will get some acknowledgment at the wedding, the focus will be on her.

After making changes to the cake a true friend would have asked, "Now let me know how much more that is going to cost." I bet she'll let you cut the cake too!

Think you've been given all the good advice you need and hope you work it out to your own advantage and not your 'life sucks' friend.

I've still got a friend like that. For the last 12 months or so she has on several occasions said things like "I'll need a cake for soandso date for my son" and "I'm going to need a cake for my 50th". I don't respond when she says things like this and a month prior to the date I ask her what kind of cake and design she wants so that I can let her know how much it will cost. She never gets back to me and I know she expects the cakes for nothing. SHE'S NOT THAT GOOD A FRIEND AND I DON'T BITE!

Luv,

CP xx

Are you also in the bridal party?? or are those spots taken by her "close" friends..... I had a "friend" just like this one. I went to help out with her wedding when her family abandoned her (LONG LONG STORY) The wedding was in the back yard at her house and I ended up being cake decorator, caterer, doing set up and tear down, baby sitter, the kitchen was under construction and totally worthless. I even missed a football game to help her out. (I am an avid Sooner Fan) NEVER AGAIN. I haven't talked to her since the day I left her house and that was 6 years ago.

UPDATE: talked to her and told her that all the changes has made a price change of $xxx and she was completely fine with it. She met with me today and paid me in full for it and apologized a million times for being such a pain in the butt, lol, so it all worked out good.

I'm glad she was ok with it, but I hope you ended up charging her what it should cost... Or at least close to it.

Really pleased it worked out well for you!

CP xxx