Mob Or Mog Making The Wedding Cake??

Decorating By srkmilklady Updated 21 Jul 2011 , 1:57pm by imagenthatnj

srkmilklady Posted 20 Jul 2011 , 2:59am
post #1 of 49

Is this a good idea?? My daughter just became engaged and she has asked me to make the cake! icon_eek.gif I do love cake decorating, but am just a hobby baker and am wondering if this is something I should consider? icon_confused.gif I'd hate to say no...she is my baby, the last to get married. I wasn't into cake decorating as much when my other two children got married. (I actually had a flower shop and did the flowers for their weddings. That went okay, but I just seem to be hesitant on making the cake for some reason.)

Have any of you out there made the wedding cake for your child and did it work out okay? Am I worrying for no reason? Any words of wisdom on the topic greatly appreciated.

Thanks! icon_smile.gif

48 replies
DanaG21 Posted 20 Jul 2011 , 3:16am
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I think it would be a TON of stress for you. You could be working up until the last minute to finish the cake depending on the size, design, etc. that you could be exhausted for the wedding, and if this is your baby you don't want to miss a minute of it! I say pass the baking on to someone else. Maybe you can make a bridal shower cake?

WickedCakeHusband Posted 20 Jul 2011 , 3:29am
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I would say don't do it. Tell her you want to enjoy the day and be able to help her with the thousand other things that need to be done. Wedding cakes are stressful even when it is the only thing you have to do, let alone when you are trying to help her get ready for the ceremony. I won't even mention the stress involved in delivering it! I like the idea of doing the bridal shower cake, or maybe if you are any good at specialty cakes, do a grooms cake for the rehearsal dinner or something like that? Enjoy the day, don't take on the added stress icon_smile.gif

grandmomof1 Posted 20 Jul 2011 , 3:56am
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I made both of my sons wedding cakes and the grooms cakes for both of them. One I transported five hours around the fourth of July. The other one I transported one and a half hours in the fall. It was a lot of work, but my boys wanted me to make them. I would not have had it any other way.

CakeRN Posted 20 Jul 2011 , 4:38am
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I did my daughters wedding cake, the grooms cake and my sons wedding cake and grooms cakel. Yes it was stressful but only because I kept thinking " will it taste good". My daughter and son loved and appreciated the fact that their mom did this for them. It was also nice to bask in the glory of people saying how good it looked and tasted.
You just have to manage your time and the cakes can be made ahead and frozen then decorate the day before the rehearsal dinner. I checked your cakes out and YOU are by no means a Hobby baker. YOUR cakes are superb and you should have no trouble what so ever. It is something they will remember and be able to look at forever. Plus...what if someone elses cake tastes like crap!!! Yours won't....good luck and congratulations.

carmijok Posted 20 Jul 2011 , 4:41am
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It's not that you couldn't do it...it's that you really shouldn't do it...and I'm speaking as a relatively recent MOB. There is NO way I could have dealt with relatives, caterers, florists, and all the million and one details that go into a wedding AND do a wedding cake on top of that.
I'm sure you'll probably get some who say they did it and it was the most wonderful experience of their lives...and depending upon how you handle your regular cake orders, it could well be that...why risk it?

If you're like any typical cake decorator your entire focus will be on the cake and how to make it perfect...and not your daughter's moments.

I agree with doing a bridal shower cake, or rehearsal or even a groom's cake. It would still be special, and you would have time to enjoy the day with your family and not worry whether the top tier was crooked or the fondant cracked.

srkmilklady Posted 20 Jul 2011 , 4:53am
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Thank you CakeRN for your kind words...and thanks to everyone else for your input. You all have valid arguments. The other thing I was considering was to possibly make a dummy cake with the top tier as the cake cutting tier. Then have sheet cakes in the back to be cut and served. That way, it would be possible to make it a few days in advance. My daughter would be happy and I wouldn't be as stressed as it sounds like I might be if I were to consider doing this. Possibly a very simple but elegant style, might be an idea also to lessen the stress??? DECISIONS...DECISIONS...WHAT TO DO? icon_confused.gif

stampinron Posted 20 Jul 2011 , 5:03am
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Hmmm. I'm in a different boat. What a privilege! And your cakes are beautiful in your gallery! I would ask you to make my cake if I was your daughter and saw all those beauties you produce.

carmijok Posted 20 Jul 2011 , 5:15am
post #9 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by srkmilklady

Thank you CakeRN for your kind words...and thanks to everyone else for your input. You all have valid arguments. The other thing I was considering was to possibly make a dummy cake with the top tier as the cake cutting tier. Then have sheet cakes in the back to be cut and served. That way, it would be possible to make it a few days in advance. My daughter would be happy and I wouldn't be as stressed as it sounds like I might be if I were to consider doing this. Possibly a very simple but elegant style, might be an idea also to lessen the stress??? DECISIONS...DECISIONS...WHAT TO DO? icon_confused.gif




It takes just as much work to decorate a dummy cake as it does a real cake. It's up to you. If you don't have relatives coming in, and food to cook and decorations to help with and oversee, then go ahead. I think you're going to anyway...you just want someone to tell you it's ok to do it. And it is! Just remember that everything happens that last week...and it can be very stressful...even if everything is going well! So good luck and enjoy it all.

srkmilklady Posted 20 Jul 2011 , 5:22am
post #10 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by stampinron

Hmmm. I'm in a different boat. What a privilege! And your cakes are beautiful in your gallery! I would ask you to make my cake if I was your daughter and saw all those beauties you produce.




Thank you stampinron. And my daughter is my biggest fan and continually urges me on with the cake decorating. I guess if I can get some ideas on the best cake recipes and fillings and a few simple designs to present to her and keep the "cake dummy" idea still in mind, maybe I could pull it off. It would make me happy to do it, as long as I could figure out how to keep the stress to a minimum!

srkmilklady Posted 20 Jul 2011 , 5:48am
post #11 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by carmijok

It takes just as much work to decorate a dummy cake as it does a real cake. It's up to you. If you don't have relatives coming in, and food to cook and decorations to help with and oversee, then go ahead. I think you're going to anyway...you just want someone to tell you it's ok to do it. And it is! Just remember that everything happens that last week...and it can be very stressful...even if everything is going well! So good luck and enjoy it all.




You are right Carmijok...I would really love to do the cake, but I guess I just need someone to tell me it could work. As far as relatives coming in...none of that. No cooking to be done either. My daughter and her fiance will be planning almost everything and have a large wedding party that should be able to handle decorating and errands. (should) I do have time to plan things out and to "practice" with recipes, and designs that might make things go more smoothly. Something possibly simple and elegant to ease with the stress.

Well, lots to consider and I do appreciate any and all input from my fellow CC'ers...you're always there to help. thumbs_up.gif

scp1127 Posted 20 Jul 2011 , 9:57am
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I'm with stampinron. I would not miss the opportunity to make my daughters' wedding cakes. There is no question. My one daughter is not even engaged yet and she is already planning.

One suggestion: Have your family help you. It is a tradition in our family to cater every wedding. It is gourmet all the way. The women in the family divide the work and then come together the night before to do the final touches. Even if your family can't bake or decorate, they can assist and wash dishes.

leah_s Posted 20 Jul 2011 , 10:13am
post #13 of 49

As a former MOB who did make her DD wedding cake(s) my advice is don't. I do this for a living, have a permitted kitchen, and at the time I had help. In the three days before the wedding I got a total of 5 hours of sleep.

This is just not the best idea.

kakeladi Posted 20 Jul 2011 , 11:07am
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The replies to your ? are surprising to me. Ican't believe how many are saying noicon_sad.gif
Making my oldest DD's cake is what started my cake decorating odessey.
I made the wedding cakes for both of my daughters. I did not find it stressful at all.
The 1st one was done before I even knew how to makes cakes.........before any lessons etc. I just went to a cake supply store and bought pans after picking out a design from a Wilton yrbk the MOG gave me! icon_smile.gif She also gave me some basic equipment and I was off and running.
It was fun. Sure there were problems; sure it took time but both daughters were older and took care of most of the planning details themselves. No relatives, no extra cooking, no stress to deal with.
I say with careful planning it can be very rewarding.

dreamacres Posted 20 Jul 2011 , 12:24pm
post #15 of 49

I say don't do it. I did my daughter's cake and although I loved doing it and I know it meant alot to her. It was awful experience when the MOG surprised the wedding party with a spa day the day before the wedding. I was busy with the cake and it was aweful to miss that time with my daughter and the wedding party. The last few moments which I would have spent relaxing with my daughter was spent doing cake. It really felt at times I was the cake lady, missed too many special moments with my daughter. Granted I did not only the cake, but the flowers, the decorating, etc., but in my mind the cake was what seemed to take over. I sure wish I could have just focused on her, relaxed and had time for a few special moments.

momg9 Posted 20 Jul 2011 , 12:33pm
post #16 of 49

I've done wedding cakes for 3 of my sons. As they all were getting married on a tight budget this was something that I could do for them and they could choose whatever they wanted without worrying about the cost. I wouldn't have had it any other way.

bakerliz Posted 20 Jul 2011 , 12:47pm
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Do you have a fellow caker in the area that would be willing to help you? If so, you could handle all of the things that need to be done in advance and they could take over for all of the last minute stuff icon_smile.gif

huskerfan Posted 20 Jul 2011 , 12:52pm
post #18 of 49

I did my daughter's wedding cake and so glad I did. It meant the world to her. Planned it all out over the week and it worked out just fine.

AnnieCahill Posted 20 Jul 2011 , 1:11pm
post #19 of 49

I did my own wedding cake. It was a blast and I was happy I did. It wasn't Martha or Ron or Collette by any means. But it was pretty and it was GOOD.

I think, depending on the design, it's very doable. I am a big fan of homestyle iced cakes because they are super fast to ice. You can do all of your baking ahead of time and wrap and freeze. You can also make your buttercream ahead of time and freeze that as well.

Something you may want to consider for construction are the Wilton stands that separate the tiers or floating tiers (which is what I did). This takes the stress off having to stack the cake and leaves you lots of room for flowers on top of the cake.

I think part of this is you're going to have to level with your daughter and tell her that she may not get the EXACT design she wants because of your skill level (which I don't assume to know, don't take that the wrong way).

Here are some of those homestyle or rough iced designs that are SUPER cute:

http://cakecentral.com/gallery/2097337

http://www.marthastewartweddings.com/photogallery/modern-wedding-cakes#slide_25

http://www.marthastewartweddings.com/photogallery/coconut-wedding-cakes#slide_3

http://www.marthastewartweddings.com/photogallery/coconut-wedding-cakes#slide_4

Wilton stands:

http://www.wilton.com/store/site/department.cfm?id=3E305642-475A-BAC0-54CCA99DC6372101&fid=335F72E9-1E0B-C910-EA8026AA055B0060

Debcent Posted 20 Jul 2011 , 1:17pm
post #20 of 49

It is such an honor to make the wedding cake for your daughter.
I recently made my daughters wedding cake. In order to be successful and before deciding to do this. You need to consider a few things. How much help are you getting from others in all the other areas of wedding planning? Do you know someone who could help you set your cake up for you? How organized is you and everyone involved with the wedding so things can get done ahead of time to prevent all the last minute details that can create a lot of stress?

What I did for my daughters wedding, I planned way in advanced the cake and created it ahead using dummies. I baked ahead sheet cakes and small 6" round cakes(that went around the dummie cake for the cake cutting ceremony & the sheet cakes for cutting up for the guests) I froze all my cakes after baking them. Had a wonderful friend help me ice them before wedding and deliver them and set the whole thing up for me. It really worked out so beautifully! I am so glad that I was the one to create her wedding cake for her special day!! My daughter & Son inlaw thought it was so special!

Sangriacupcake Posted 20 Jul 2011 , 1:35pm
post #21 of 49

I did it last September for DD1, and I'll be doing it next May for DD2. I insisted the design must be simple....smooth iced buttercream with fresh or silk flowers, and I baked and froze the layers ahead of time. We did 6-9-12-15 inch tiers of carrot cake iced and filled with Edna's crusting cream cheese icing. It was simple and beautiful and special because MOM made it!!
I am just a hobbyist with a modest kitchen and it was totally doable. I had plenty of time to attend to the thousands of other little duties the MOB has to take care of.

Unless you're talking about 8 tiers covered with sugar lilies, I say go for it!
thumbs_up.gif

TexasSugar Posted 20 Jul 2011 , 2:00pm
post #22 of 49

As a daughter, I think I'd rather my mom be there by my side through most of the preparations the day before and the of day, rather than her being off working on a cake. And when she was with me thinking about what she had to finish, do and her cake time line.

I'm the baby girl, and would be the last to get married. Of course I've warned my parents, if I ever get married I'm going to Vegas. I'm just not a big wedding kinda girl.

While I think it is a honor that she asked you, and it can totally be done, as people have stated before, I think that sometimes we have to step back and look at the bigger picture of things. Cakes, while they can be baked ahead of time, and icing started earlier, are mostly a last minute thing, and many things can go wrong.

With all the other stresses of the wedding day I think that this is one less thing I'd worry about.

I did do my brother's wedding cake and grooms cake, I can't even beginning to tell you how stress I was, and I wasn't even a part of the bridal party.

AuntieE Posted 20 Jul 2011 , 2:20pm
post #23 of 49

I'm just curious, how big of a cake are you talking about?

terrylee Posted 20 Jul 2011 , 2:29pm
post #24 of 49

I have a suggestion...if you have time...do a dummy cake for the presentation, you can do it at your own pace, days before the wedding.... leaving the top tier a fresh cake so the kids can cut it...put sheet cakes in the kitchen.

QTCakes1 Posted 20 Jul 2011 , 2:37pm
post #25 of 49

Having done it myself, I would only do it if you are NOT going to do anythng else, period. I mean nothing else besides get dress. I'm glad I did it, but I wish I wasn't invloved with all the other stuff going on that week. Will I do it agian? Yes, but I will ONLY be helping with the cake. Now, it can be done with you helping in other areas, BUT it is very stressful. I will say this, after alll is said and done, you will still have a great day...though you may be a little tired. icon_wink.gif

QTCakes1 Posted 20 Jul 2011 , 2:40pm
post #26 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sangriacupcake



Unless you're talking about 8 tiers covered with sugar lilies, I say go for it!
thumbs_up.gif




And this is an excellent point! If you keep it simple, it'll be a whole lot easier. I did a very elaborate cake with tons of gumpaste roses. It probably would have been much easier on me if I went simple.

chrisviz Posted 20 Jul 2011 , 2:45pm
post #27 of 49

I am with a lot of you. I think it would be too much. However I am with the person who asked if you know another cake person that can help you. When my DD gets married, and it wont be anytime soon, she is only 14, I plan on prepping sugar flowers in advance as well as some baking and freezing of layers and then passing it off to a caker friend to assemble and finish it off. That way I get to put my stamp on it, but I dont have to be strapped to the kitchen the days leading up to the wedding.

Suzycakes Posted 20 Jul 2011 , 3:08pm
post #28 of 49

This is long so bear with me!

I did it in Sept 09 and would do it all over again! We had a 5 tier - 18,15,12,9,6 with the 15 and 9 tiers being 3 layers of cake for 6" tall tiers all iced and decorated in buttercream. If I did do it over again - I would simplify the design and just decorate with fresh flowers. But this is my only daughter - so I was happy to do what she wanted. I also made the grooms cake which was a replica of an old family barn covered in fondant that fed 150!

The reception was an outdoor affair at my sisters home and we worked there everyday that week decorating and setting up - except the day it rained - which was Thursday and by that time I had all the tiers leveled, torted and crumbcoated, so I went ahead and iced and decorated the wedding tiers and completely finished the grooms cake. Plus went running last minute errands to a town 45 minutes away picking up supplies for the meal, etc.

I had most of the meal catered and/or family making dips, etc. Plus I had friends that I called in to help with some of the decorating and setting up. My DH and I both took off a week of vacation to get everything finished. I have helped these other friends with their receptions in the past or will help in the future. So if you have these types of friends - use them and be thankful for them!

I set the cake up that morning at 6:00 a.m. and spent the rest of the day with daughter and enjoying the bridal lunchean and hairdo's and final preparations! I was also hanging off a ladder at the Church at 2 p.m. hanging kissing balls in the windows!

Yes - I was exhausted on Sunday - but I also had Monday off too that helped me recoup some and I had a light load on cakes for the next 2 weeks that helped too. I do work full time in an office and bake cakes on the side in the evenings/weekends.

It sounds to me like your daughter means the world to you and you want to do this for her - just as I did -- so do it, bake the cakes the week prior to the wedding week and freeze; take advantage of any free time (like rainy days) to go ahead and finish the cake; refrigerate and it's good to go.

All of the guests at the receptions (400+) raved about both cakes and were amazed that I had made them and that they were so good.

My only other child is my son - and I hope to have the privilege of making his wedding and grooms cake someday too!

Go for it - you won't regret it!

stormrider Posted 20 Jul 2011 , 3:09pm
post #29 of 49

I really think it all boils down to what you and your daughter really want. Is it something you or she have always wanted? Will it take away from your time together to celebrate her marriage. I would sit down with her and have a heart to heart and see how she really feels about the possibility of you not being heavily involved during the last few days before the wedding. The idea of a dummy cake and sheet cakes is really a win-win. You can get almost everything finished several days in advance and have time to spend with her on all of the last-minute details of the wedding. Only the two of you know how much stress your relationship will bear. (When it's my daughter's turn I'm fairly certain she'll keep me in the kitchen so she can make the decisions on everything else but the cake!) Either way I hope all goes well and she has a wonderful wedding!

Jenteach Posted 20 Jul 2011 , 4:07pm
post #30 of 49

My mom did my cake and she's not nearly as talented as you are! It was her first time using fondant and her last, but it meant soooo much to me.

It's completely up to you - but looking at your photos, you could definitely handle it. It really depends on how many relatives and such will be over at your house right before the wedding.....

HTH

Good luck with your decision.

Jen

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