Groom Gets Deployed; Wedding Postponed What Should I Do?

Business By jsc2010 Updated 20 Jun 2011 , 1:42pm by dchockeyguy

jsc2010 Posted 18 Jun 2011 , 4:00pm
post #1 of 11

I have a bride who came for a tasting, booked me, sent me her 1st payment. Wedding is two weeks away and she emails to say they may have to change the date of the wedding because of her fiance being deployed early. Wants to know if she can put cake money toward another date yet to be determined. Final payment was to be due today, wedding next Saturday. What should I do? I told her I can put money toward another date if it's available. I feel contract is void now and I will have to write a whole new contract. What should I do if she wants a date I am already booked and wants money back? I know this is not her fault...what should I do?

10 replies
mombabytiger Posted 18 Jun 2011 , 4:14pm
post #2 of 11

I would tell her she can apply the money toward another cake of course. Then tell her you will need as much notice as is humanly possible for the re-scheduled wedding. I have family in the military and they usually know when they're coming home - more or less. It won't be a surprise.

gatorcake Posted 18 Jun 2011 , 5:14pm
post #3 of 11

This one is tough. IMO if it was me and they rescheduled and I was booked on that date I would return their deposit. On my view I don't want to make money off of military personnel that are deployed to the field. Yes the bride booked the cake and signed a contract but she is going to be part of a military family.

Given the story as I understand it her finance's deployment was changed impacting their wedding plans. It is not like they chose to alter the date--they have to alter the date because of a commitment to country. Assuming you are booked in the future, do you really want to take money off the bride because her future husband is suddenly deployed in defense of country?

MamaDear Posted 18 Jun 2011 , 5:51pm
post #4 of 11

I personally would express my sympathy for the delay of the wedding as well as some thanks for his part in serving our country. Then I would just ask her to keep me posted while he was deployed and give me as much notice as possible for the re-scheduled nuptials. If you are booked at that time then I would explain to her, if the new date is non-negotiable, I would give her back the deposit.

This is something that she can't help and isnt in control of...alas the fate of the military wife (or wife to be).

cakesbycathy Posted 18 Jun 2011 , 11:10pm
post #5 of 11

Obviously this is something out of her control so I would give her the choice:
she can either apply her deposit to a new date but it would be non-refundable if you are not available or
I would offer to return her deposit to her. Hopefully she will be able to book you again.

I would also rewrite the contract.

jsc2010 Posted 19 Jun 2011 , 1:49am
post #6 of 11

thanks for all your advice and encouragement.

Kitagrl Posted 19 Jun 2011 , 2:12am
post #7 of 11

I had something similar happen on a smaller scale...a lady had ordered her own baby shower cake and the week before, the husband called me saying his wife went into the hospital at 28 weeks!!!!! with problems and would have to stay until the baby was born, sometime in August!!!

I offered his deposit back and he said no, I did work giving them a tasting and all and he wants to just postpone if its possible. Of course, he can't give me a for sure date in August and now I have a date scheduled to be out of town so if it does not work out, I will just return their deposit and maybe try to see if one of my baker friends can do it for them instead...

So yeah, definitely work with them, at least you haven't started making the cake yet!!!!

jsc2010 Posted 19 Jun 2011 , 2:29am
post #8 of 11

You'll never believe this...I emailed the bride just to get an update....and just now she emails me back...if it's not too late she wants the cake and actually added to her order cake pops. Her fiance WAS deployed and will be home tomorrow. So the wedding is on. Wow! I was thinking my week was going to be laid back! cake for 175. But now the dilema is she owes her final payment which was due today. So I kindly emailed her to let her know I will need her final payment first of the week and she now has to finalize her design as she has changed her colors. I am being flexible with her due to her circumstances and let her know that. But I feel I still need to be firm as we did have a contract.

jules5000 Posted 19 Jun 2011 , 2:36am
post #9 of 11

I totally agree with all of those who have replied. unfortunately those that serve our country give up their freedom of plans as well as everything else. If the country says we are deploying you 5 weeks earlier than we told you and you have a wedding tough luck buddy. tough luck. To me that is wrong, but the people serving in the military know that kind of thing happens and we just have to pray that they make it back to complete their plans. Can you imagine what it would feel like to have to delay your wedding this close to the date and then maybe not even have a fiance to marry later?

I definitely think that every courtesy you can extend her will be appreciated by everyone.

If you had already started making the cake and it was just the cake that you had baked, I would just use it for another wedding in the near future and maybe you have some caking friends who would help you out if you were already booked when she could have the wedding. I am sure that from the sounds of it you are sympathetic to her plight also and I know she understands what is happening on your end as well. Best wishes to you and to the Bride-to-be also.

SammieB Posted 19 Jun 2011 , 2:15pm
post #10 of 11
Quote:
Originally Posted by jsc2010

You'll never believe this...I emailed the bride just to get an update....and just now she emails me back...if it's not too late she wants the cake and actually added to her order cake pops. Her fiance WAS deployed and will be home tomorrow. So the wedding is on. Wow! I was thinking my week was going to be laid back! cake for 175. But now the dilema is she owes her final payment which was due today. So I kindly emailed her to let her know I will need her final payment first of the week and she now has to finalize her design as she has changed her colors. I am being flexible with her due to her circumstances and let her know that. But I feel I still need to be firm as we did have a contract.




I agree. Most military families know that their lives require flexibility, and most do not try to take advantage of that situation. I hope it works out for all involved.

I happy for her that the wedding is able to happen the way she wants. My brother-in-law is currently deployed, and his fiance is keeping the time occupied by planning her wedding (she's an event coordinator anyway, so she knows what all is involved). He's supposed to be home in a few months, and the wedding is for next summer. The problem is they are doing some restructuring at the base he's stationed at, and they may send him to another location to finish out his service. Which would mean no wedding. What can you do? Just keep on planning, and adapt with whatever the military says you have to do. At least in their situation the bride knows the ins and outs of weddings like the back or her hand, but think of all the other ladies out there without that knowledge. It would be so aggravating.

dchockeyguy Posted 20 Jun 2011 , 1:42pm
post #11 of 11

I married into the army, and many of my friends are also military, so I'm very familiar with the situation. I pretty much give a ton of flexibility to people this happens to.I know they aren't always happy with the sudden changes, etc. So it's always nice to accommodate them.

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