Annoyed With Non-Caker Friends....

Decorating By LisaPeps Updated 1 Jun 2011 , 9:38am by JanH

LisaPeps Posted 31 May 2011 , 10:14am
post #1 of 57

I told my friend I would make her an engagement cake for around 75 people for cost. I spent ages researching and working out my exact cost to the penny.

I told her I could do a 6"8"10" round or a 8"10" square. She chose the 8"10" square.

Because she wants it for in 5 days time, I told her it would be a bit more expensive because I had to go to the cake shop instead of bulk/cheaper prices online.

Anyway, I worked it out to the penny and told her £62.60 just for ingredients, boards, decorations etc. And I told her the same cake would cost about £200 in the shops.

Her response... Oh well I only budgeted £40 for the cake -_-

Ughhhh, it's so annoying when you try your hardest to help someone out and your just left feeling under appreciated and used.

56 replies
cakesherry Posted 31 May 2011 , 10:34am
post #2 of 57

Show her the cost breakdown and ask her what she doesn't want...I bet when she realizes how much everything is costing you she'll have a little more appreciation.

Davwattie Posted 31 May 2011 , 10:44am
post #3 of 57

I agree that you show her exactly how you worked it all out.

or

Tell her you'll do her a 10" cake and the guests will have to have very small pieces icon_lol.gif

Kiddiekakes Posted 31 May 2011 , 11:36am
post #4 of 57

I say to H%$$ with people like that..Tell her you are no longer available to make the cake...ingrates..

lilmissbakesalot Posted 31 May 2011 , 11:43am
post #5 of 57

One thing you can do... is (try to) not take it personally.

People who aren't familliar with the world of cake decorating have NO clue what it costs to make a cake. They look at it like this:

"It's eggs, flour, sugar, butter, and some other piddly things... how could it costs so much??"

She'd have no idea that you need special boards or supports... she'd have no idea that you might need to order a specialty mold for something she might want and that that mold would start at $25.00.

So the best thing you can do is tell her that there is no way you could make a cake that size for £40 and let her either choose a smaller, less complicated design, or make other arrangements. It doesn't have to be taken as an afront to your talent.

icon_smile.gif

indydebi Posted 31 May 2011 , 11:48am
post #6 of 57

You just want to ask them what part of their body did they pull that number out of? icon_confused.gif

"Well, dear friend of mine, if you budgeted $40 and the INGREDIENTS ALONE cost over $60, it looks like you're NOT getting the cake of your dreams. Good luck!" dunce.gif

LisaPeps Posted 31 May 2011 , 12:00pm
post #7 of 57

I told her I could do her 75 cupcakes and a small 6" cutting cake instead for £40 (Would cost me just less than that after roughly working it out) and she just didn't bother to reply to me. I even told her I usually charge £135 plus stand rental to show her what a good deal she would get.

I spoke to my sister about it as she knows her, and my sister said "No cake for her then. Stop bending over backwards for her, she's going to keep saying she doesn't want to spend the money until she gets free cake."

I'm just taking it to heart because you wouldn't think friends would try to extort you. If anything I would say "Here's £70 just in case you need to pick up any little things, any change (which would be a maximum of £8!!) you keep as a thank you" But instead they just want to get the cheapest deal icon_sad.gif

Cealy Posted 31 May 2011 , 12:08pm
post #8 of 57

A friend of mine showed the girls at work a cake I made for her son's birthday, so this girl emails me and asks if I can make a cake for her son.
I told her the day was available and what did she want. She explained and asked 'how much' I told her my set price for basic cakes and then told her how much hers would be! "Oh I was only expecting to pay ..."

SO I broke it down for her: Cost of supplies, hours invested, utilities etc. I then asked her after I showed her I would make $10 on her cake if she would work that long for $10!

She seemed to understand then, but I also haven't heard from her! lol
Some people's children!

LisaPeps Posted 31 May 2011 , 12:21pm
post #9 of 57

I did break it down for her. I said recipe = £x. Icing = £x. Boards = £x... etc. So she knew exactly what I would have spent the money on. When we were discussing it a few days early she said, "Oh I'll just go shopping with you and buy the stuff on my credit card". I said I have some of the stuff already like the staples flour, sugar etc so would prefer to just have the money transferred into my account.

So she knows exactly what everything costs and where the money goes, she just expects me to do it for nothing. I'd rather just put £10 in a card and say happy engagement, than waste 3 days doing a cake for someone who doesn't appreciate it.

Claire138 Posted 31 May 2011 , 12:38pm
post #10 of 57

This forum comes at the right moment for me. I am feeling so bummed as I have a close friend who helped me make a site for my cakes (she's way more computer savy than I am) and as a thank you I made a 3 tier cake for her daughters nomination party which she was really grateful for.

Now comes the bit I'm annoyed about. Someone contacted me to ask about prices etc and I responded with the details when I get a follow up email from my friend (bc she set up the site she also administers it so gets all mail) to tell me that it is a friend of hers and could I give her a good deal?
Excuse me?

peg818 Posted 31 May 2011 , 12:40pm
post #11 of 57

Send her to the grocery store for a cake!

allaboutcakeuk Posted 31 May 2011 , 12:40pm
post #12 of 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaPeps

I told her I could do her 75 cupcakes and a small 6" cutting cake instead for £40 (Would cost me just less than that after roughly working it out) and she just didn't bother to reply to me. I even told her I usually charge £135 plus stand rental to show her what a good deal she would get.

I spoke to my sister about it as she knows her, and my sister said "No cake for her then. Stop bending over backwards for her, she's going to keep saying she doesn't want to spend the money until she gets free cake."

I'm just taking it to heart because you wouldn't think friends would try to extort you. If anything I would say "Here's £70 just in case you need to pick up any little things, any change (which would be a maximum of £8!!) you keep as a thank you" But instead they just want to get the cheapest deal icon_sad.gif




Lisa I know this feeling and I got sick of constantly justifying it to people. Friend's of friends are the worst. want a mate's rate which I've now stopped. a discount only is placed now on close friend's cakes. People just don't realise how much cost there is when it is all added up and your time and talent. I would say that is the price and if you need a cheaper cake then I can make a smaller one or try other bakers i'm afraid!
icon_smile.gif

cakeyouverymuch Posted 31 May 2011 , 12:45pm
post #13 of 57

Every caker should have this hung on the kitchen door.


The Caker's Credo


A cake is NOT just flour and water.

If you mix flour and water you get GLUE.

The miracle of cake is that you take the glue,
add eggs and sugar, and you get cake.

Where did the glue go you ask?

You know very well where it went.

It's what makes the cake stick to your hips.

One should be willing to pay at least as much for the cake
as one is going to pay for the gym membership
that will help remove it from one's hips.

allaboutcakeuk Posted 31 May 2011 , 12:49pm
post #14 of 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by cakeyouverymuch

Every caker should have this hung on the kitchen door.


The Caker's Credo


A cake is NOT just flour and water.

If you mix flour and water you get GLUE.

The miracle of cake is that you take the glue,
add eggs and sugar, and you get cake.

Where did the glue go you ask?

You know very well where it went.

It's what makes the cake stick to your hips.

One should be willing to pay at least as much for the cake
as one is going to pay for the gym membership
that will help remove it from one's hips.




thumbs_up.gif

cakesbycathy Posted 31 May 2011 , 1:17pm
post #15 of 57

Obviously the woman doesn't want to pay for the cake and she is hoping you will feel bad enough to either give it to her for $40 or even do it for free.

At this point you need to move on. Accept the fact that hardly anyone except other cakers understands the costs and labors involved in making a custom cake. It's not your responsibility to stay within someone's budget. Either they can afford you or not. You can't take it personally.

Brevity Posted 31 May 2011 , 1:20pm
post #16 of 57

Ok I totally agree on how frustrating the combination of friends/cake/money can be......but I have to say, if I was going to pay someone for ingrediants, and said let's go together, so I can put it on my card - and they started back tracking - I would find that fishy.

LKing12 Posted 31 May 2011 , 1:38pm
post #17 of 57

I have never volunteered to make a cake for a friend. In fact we have had about 50 wedding and baby showers in our church this last year, and I only made two. I am sane, still talking to everyone and none the poorer. I could do a cake or two every week for friends-but then we wouldn't be friends!

katnmouse Posted 31 May 2011 , 2:22pm
post #18 of 57

Other small businesses with actual storefronts would never be expected to give "deals" to friends (and especially not friends of friends). Doing so would undermine the entire business pricing structure on which you operate. Just look at a business plan...nowhere will there be a part about giving away your profit margin because your friends ask you to. Once you start doing favored discounts where do you draw the line? Every friend of a friend who gets a discount will tell their friends you will give them a great deal. It will snowball into business suicide.

Gefion Posted 31 May 2011 , 2:44pm
post #19 of 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brevity

Ok I totally agree on how frustrating the combination of friends/cake/money can be......but I have to say, if I was going to pay someone for ingrediants, and said let's go together, so I can put it on my card - and they started back tracking - I would find that fishy.




If I had a friend who were willing to slave for hours and hours with no pay, so I could have a pretty cake at cost, I wouldn't even begin to nickel and dime the supply list... in fact, I would insist that she included a nice bottle of wine or some chocolate for herself.

cakeyouverymuch Posted 31 May 2011 , 2:49pm
post #20 of 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaPeps

I told her I could do her 75 cupcakes and a small 6" cutting cake instead for £40 (Would cost me just less than that after roughly working it out) and she just didn't bother to reply to me. I even told her I usually charge £135 plus stand rental to show her what a good deal she would get.

I spoke to my sister about it as she knows her, and my sister said "No cake for her then. Stop bending over backwards for her, she's going to keep saying she doesn't want to spend the money until she gets free cake."

I'm just taking it to heart because you wouldn't think friends would try to extort you. If anything I would say "Here's £70 just in case you need to pick up any little things, any change (which would be a maximum of £8!!) you keep as a thank you" But instead they just want to get the cheapest deal icon_sad.gif




To be blunt, your sister is right. And to be even blunter, when you say "you wouldn't think friends would try to extort you" you've hit on the crux of the matter. Here you are "taking it to heart" and agonizing over how you can give her the world on a plate without being taken advantage of too badly. Do you think she's agonizing over "extorting" you? Odds are the answer to that is "no". Your definition of "friend" must be very different from mine.

TexasSugar Posted 31 May 2011 , 3:01pm
post #21 of 57

You have given her two options. And she didn't really like either one of them. So I'd leave it at that.

If she only wanted to spend so much, she should have told you that from the beginning, but honestly it sounds like she wants a free cake. And personally I feel if someone asks you to do a cake for them, they should expect to pay you for it (and I don't really believe in deeply discounted cakes either). If you offered a cake to them, that's a different story.

To the person that had issues with the website maker's expecting a discount for their friend, I would have asked them if they would be willing to make a website for a person I knew at a deep discount.

Kaykaymay Posted 31 May 2011 , 3:04pm
post #22 of 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brevity

.....but I have to say, if I was going to pay someone for ingrediants, and said let's go together, so I can put it on my card -




Imagine they won't even allow you the benifit of the frequent flyer miles..I'd say this is no friend at all! It might even be cheaper to give her $40 and let her go get a cake at the grocery!

Bluehue Posted 31 May 2011 , 3:46pm
post #23 of 57

Over the last few weeks i have read a few threads along this line.
I find it staggering that friends/family/friends of friends have no hesitation saying....

"Oh i can't afford that"
"Oh - i only budgeted xx.xx not xxx.xx"
"Can you do cheaper?"
"the cheques in the mail"

And cakers continue to spend hours/days/weeks slaving over a hot oven - making hundreds of flowers - for next to nothing as well as being insulted by these penny pinching people.

Cakers - stand your ground - learn to say...
"this is not acceptable"
"i have set the price - either you pay or no cake"

Truely - the only reason you will be treated like this is because you allow it.


It might be difficult for you to say NO the first time - but come the second time - you will say it with a smile - because you are staying in charge of your situation....and that will not only set them straight but you won't become known as "the caker who creates beautiful cakes tooooo cheap"

LOLLL - If someone blinks at my prices - i smile and say
"thats ok - my cakes aren't for everyone because not everyone can afford one of my cakes"

That then makes them blink........ and think about what they might miss out on icon_wink.gif

Thats called CAKEOLOGY icon_biggrin.gif


Bluehue.

LisaPeps Posted 31 May 2011 , 4:07pm
post #24 of 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brevity

Ok I totally agree on how frustrating the combination of friends/cake/money can be......but I have to say, if I was going to pay someone for ingrediants, and said let's go together, so I can put it on my card - and they started back tracking - I would find that fishy.




Is this meant that I'm backtracking? I don't think I understand what your trying say..

LisaPeps Posted 31 May 2011 , 4:22pm
post #25 of 57

She decided she wants the cupcakes now. I'll do them and my labour costs can be her engagement present, saves me donating money to her honeymoon which was what was requested as the gift on the invite to her party (I didn't even know you were supposed to give gifts at engagements parties, I thought it was just the wedding!)

I'm usually quite good with this, for example another friend asked me how much I charge for cakes and I said I don't turn my oven on for less than £40 (and that's bare minimum, extras cost extra), and when they said that's not within their budget I explained that I don't mass produce nor can I purchase bulk ingredients and I didn't cave for them.

I guess I considered the engagement cake friend to be close (Close enough that I am going to be a bridesmaid at the wedding), and that's why it's annoying me.

ChristineCMC Posted 31 May 2011 , 4:52pm
post #26 of 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bluehue


LOLLL - If someone blinks at my prices - i smile and say
"thats ok - my cakes aren't for everyone because not everyone can afford one of my cakes"

That then makes them blink........ and think about what they might miss out on icon_wink.gif

Thats called CAKEOLOGY icon_biggrin.gif


Bluehue.




Love this!!! I made a huge castle cake for my son and had a friend who wanted a much smaller scale castle for her child's birthday. When I figured out the size, time, and extras; I gave her a VERY fair price for what she was asking. She looked at me like I was insane and said who would pay that much for a child's cake. I wish I had this response at the time.


I will be tucking this away for future useicon_smile.gifthumbs_up.gif

teezed Posted 31 May 2011 , 5:11pm
post #27 of 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by cakeyouverymuch

Every caker should have this hung on the kitchen door.


The Caker's Credo


A cake is NOT just flour and water.

If you mix flour and water you get GLUE.

The miracle of cake is that you take the glue,
add eggs and sugar, and you get cake.

Where did the glue go you ask?

You know very well where it went.

It's what makes the cake stick to your hips.

One should be willing to pay at least as much for the cake
as one is going to pay for the gym membership
that will help remove it from one's hips.






I am going to hang this even on the toilet door and memorise it!

Cascades Posted 31 May 2011 , 5:24pm
post #28 of 57

ChristineCMC, I think I would have replied "who would work for such little pay!"

People just don't realize how expensive ingredients alone are for caking. I was at the cake decorating supply store for my weekly visit and a couple came in. The woman wanted to make special cupcakes for her child to take to school for his birthday. They spent a long time in the store because she wanted everything to be just perfect and she had a special design in mind.

When they got to the counter to pay they were shocked! I actual kind of felt sorry for the woman. She had no idea. The husband was extremely upset, so she just kept putting back things that were to expensive. You could just see how disappointed she was that she was going to have to come up with something different, but she knew he was right.

The investment we put into our art and business is not just for any particular cake it is an investment in whole and the price of any cake is reflected by the sum of the whole. (don't know if I said that right lol)

carmijok Posted 31 May 2011 , 5:30pm
post #29 of 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaPeps

I did break it down for her. I said recipe = £x. Icing = £x. Boards = £x... etc. So she knew exactly what I would have spent the money on. When we were discussing it a few days early she said, "Oh I'll just go shopping with you and buy the stuff on my credit card". I said I have some of the stuff already like the staples flour, sugar etc so would prefer to just have the money transferred into my account.

So she knows exactly what everything costs and where the money goes, she just expects me to do it for nothing. I'd rather just put £10 in a card and say happy engagement, than waste 3 days doing a cake for someone who doesn't appreciate it.




You missed the perfect opportunity to get more supplies. Just because you had the staples already, doesn't mean you shouldn't have stocked up on more! Shoot, I'd have bought the most expensive ingredients possible, plus maybe a few you don't really need for her cake...I mean, how's she going to know!

Oh, and if you're a bridesmaid, I"m sure you probably have to purchase a dress that she picks out...when she does, why not tell her you really weren't planning on spending more than X amount (I mean, it's just fabric, right?).

Lovin_Cakes30 Posted 31 May 2011 , 5:32pm
post #30 of 57

So thankful for being able to read threads like this before I even encounter friends who take advantage! All the advice is wonderful and I hope I will be able to say no when the time comes! =)

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