Vent: My Family Expects Fablous Cakes For Nothing

Decorating By KMLRose Updated 20 Apr 2011 , 4:43am by cathyscakes

KMLRose Posted 14 Apr 2011 , 10:00pm
post #1 of 73

Why is it family thinks you should make great cakes for them and give you nothing but a thank you. My family thinks I should drop everything for them and bake for them exactly when they need it and do it just because they are family. It gets on my nerves. For example the Rocket cake I did for a 1st birthday it was amazing I thought but did my family offer me anything but a wow and thank you. NO, nothing, notta. I love my family but they sure expect way too much.
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72 replies
bakencake Posted 14 Apr 2011 , 10:22pm
post #2 of 73

WOW your cakes a beautiful! i wish i was related to you!

Kiddiekakes Posted 14 Apr 2011 , 10:28pm
post #3 of 73

Solution....Stop baking cakes for them until they pay you...Period...It is TOO expensive to keep fronting the bill for family's functions..Have them pony up for the cake or you don't make it!!

KMLRose Posted 14 Apr 2011 , 10:29pm
post #4 of 73

Thanks I'm still learning but I love making cakes.

Kiddiekakes Posted 14 Apr 2011 , 10:32pm
post #5 of 73

Well..after awhile you learn icon_wink.gif .. and quickly...I have been doing cakes for 10 years now and I stopped doing the freebies after the first year... thumbs_up.gif I love caking too but free ones make me no money..LOL

sillyoldpoohbear Posted 14 Apr 2011 , 10:33pm
post #6 of 73

I know that feeling. Even when they order a cake from you for their friends they still expect a discount. My moms the worst. She'll say to people "I'll get you a cake for your birthday" & guess who foots the cost.

If I bake for a family member's birthday I usually state that the cake is instead of a birthday present. The thing that bugs me is that they then look at you as if you're cheap. I don't think they realise that they're getting a £50 plus cake just because I made it myself. Or in my nephews case a £150 cake with the kind of things that he picks.

Now it's turned into my vent lol

tokazodo Posted 14 Apr 2011 , 10:37pm
post #7 of 73

I have had serious conversations with myself about this same subject: giving cake away. Until I realised that last year I gave away nearly $2000 worth of cake! I can't afford to take that much money out of my familie's budget.
I realise you want to do something nice for your family. If we continue to give cakes away, people expect cakes for free. Do you go into a restaurant and expect them to give you a meal for free? Do you go into a clothing store or shoe store and expect them to give you those items for free?

If your family still wants cakes from you perhaps you could ask them to cover the cost of ingredients. (I don't know about your neck of the woods ,but the are getting costly in my neighborhood!) If you still feel in the 'giving' frame of mind, give of your time.

I am trying to establish my business and I now have bills to pay. I can't afford to give it away for free. I have decided to limit the freebies.

wiggler Posted 14 Apr 2011 , 10:39pm
post #8 of 73

I'd guess that your family have absolutely no idea how much time and money you spend on your cakes ! I let my family know recently that my cakes take up a huge amount of my time to do and also cost me loads . This weekend I am making a cake that my parents want to give as a present to one of their friends . They said they will pay me for everything . They will probably get a bit of a shock ! I turned down a cake for in laws a few weeks ago as I knew they would be unwilling to pay for i when I worked out what I would have to charge . I only do this as a hobby but I am glad I let my family know it doesnt take an hour to rustle up a cake .
Just let them know how much work it is and hopefully they wont presume you will do it for free next time icon_smile.gif

KMLRose Posted 14 Apr 2011 , 10:51pm
post #9 of 73

I'm glad I'm not the only who has problems with family.

I think I've got the image link now
Image

KMLRose Posted 14 Apr 2011 , 10:54pm
post #10 of 73

Ok the last link didn't work this one should

http://cakecentral.com/gallery/1999172

StacyN Posted 14 Apr 2011 , 11:05pm
post #11 of 73

I have the same problem but not with family (I only have my parents and one sibling) but with friends and even friends of friends! I had one friend who wanted me to do a 10 inch cake with a large figurine of Lighting McQueen from cars on top all for $20! Arggg would you mind at least covering ingredients! LOL If I were you I would put a stop to it quickly because it sounds like you may have a much larger family than myself and that will get very costly!!

stacyd Posted 14 Apr 2011 , 11:06pm
post #12 of 73

at least they say thanks and wow! I made my nephew a 3d elephant cake for his 1st birthday and my brother nor his girlfriend said thank you or anything!!!

mplaidgirl2 Posted 14 Apr 2011 , 11:13pm
post #13 of 73

I only bake free for my sister, mom and dad. (Even though my mom still tries to give me $) If its an occassion where I would have given a pricey gift anyway I tell them I'll make the cake at cost. And give them my labor for free as a gift. Most people are happy to do that.
For those cheapy people I tell them to go buy a cake and I'll make them a topper for $20. But thats only super close family. Most of my fam pays full price no problem.

cathyscakes Posted 14 Apr 2011 , 11:49pm
post #14 of 73

My family and friends do the same thing. They ask for a free cake and then say things like, I know you will knock our socks off. So then I think I have to go far beyond what I had planned to do.

Teecakesandcookies Posted 14 Apr 2011 , 11:56pm
post #15 of 73
Quote:
Originally Posted by StacyN

I have the same problem but not with family (I only have my parents and one sibling) but with friends and even friends of friends! I had one friend who wanted me to do a 10 inch cake with a large figurine of Lighting McQueen from cars on top all for $20! Arggg would you mind at least covering ingredients! LOL If I were you I would put a stop to it quickly because it sounds like you may have a much larger family than myself and that will get very costly!!




I am a newbie and so I think people ask me because they think it will be good practice for me and free for them and it really ticks me off beacause I dont even know them my family offers to pay but I dont take it I'm still learning, the in-laws tell people I'll bring the cake and call me want a free cake I can't stand that but... nobody will be calling me after I take a few of these 300 dollar classes to get the skills I need to charge the BIG bucks icon_biggrin.gif

indydebi Posted 15 Apr 2011 , 12:10am
post #16 of 73

I'm very blessed in that my family never does that to me and have always asked "How much would you charge me for ......?"

In each of your problems, the answer is easy:

"Sure! I'm happy to make the cake, just ask that you cover the costs of everything i need to do that, since I can't see taking my grocery money to make a cake for you, do you? Good! Here's the shopping list. by the way, no substitutions ... my lists are brand specific for a reason so your cake will turn out as perfect as you want it to. I'll need everything on this list 10 days before your event. If I dont' have it 10 days prior, then I won't be able to do the cake and you'll have to stoop to ordering just a plain run-of-the-mill cake from teh grocery."

be sure your list is detailed and specific. Include a box of parchment and/or wax paper, a bottle of dishwashing soap, a roll of paper towels, a box of disposable decorating bags, a bottle of vanilla (even if you only need 2 tsp of it), etc. etc.

And if the stores are miles apart and they whine about HAVING to go to 2 or 3 different stores, just get that silly little dumb blonde look on your face, looking confused as you tell them, "But that's where I'D have to drive to make YOUR cake?" icon_rolleyes.gificon_biggrin.gif

jo_ann Posted 15 Apr 2011 , 1:45am
post #17 of 73

I have a rule that the only ones that get free cakes from me are my grown children and my grandchildren. The rest get a 20% discount and if they don't like it too bad.

My oldest son and (the witch), trust me I'm being nice, decided to get married. They came over for dinner one day and she had the nerve to say to me. " We decided you don't have to buy us a wedding gift since your making our wedding cake for free."

I told her "Who said I was making it for free."

VaBelle Posted 15 Apr 2011 , 2:23am
post #18 of 73

I made the mistake of making a cake for two of my nephews. Now all my nieces and nephews that are local are expecting birthday cakes and there's 9 of them. None of my siblings offer to pay for anything. One sibling said thank you, but not the other.

StacyN Posted 15 Apr 2011 , 2:42am
post #19 of 73

@indydebi- I LOVE that! I think for some people it might make them realize how much work we have to go to, to make a cake and that its not "just a cake!" I seriously think I might post that on my facebook page LOL "FYI if you want a cake from me..."

hvanaalst Posted 15 Apr 2011 , 3:59am
post #20 of 73

I am lucky my family is pretty good at understanding how much time and money but friends/aquaintences not so much. I did a cake last year for an aqaintence and when I told her how much i thought the supplies would cost she said that she only had $35 to spend. She wanted a two tier winnie the pooh cake. When I explained to her that wouldn't even cover what i needed to buy, she said 'well what can you do for 35?' So I used a betty crocker mix, some basic buttercream and fondant accents. The cake was a huge hit and she commented after that it was worth so much more then what she paid me.

Fastforward a few months, her other son is having a birthday and she wants a dinosaur cake. She says 'but this time I only have a budget of $25 for a cake'. She somehow thinks she is doing me a favor by asking me to do cakes for her. I told her I was busy that weekend.

She made her own cupcakes with a small volcano cake for the middle. She did an ok job and then she put $30 or $40 worth of plastic dinosaurs in the cupcakes. I hope she at least understood that $25 was unreasonable when she was done.

BakerAnn Posted 15 Apr 2011 , 4:17am
post #21 of 73
Quote:
Originally Posted by jo_ann

I have a rule that the only ones that get free cakes from me are my grown children and my grandchildren. The rest get a 20% discount and if they don't like it too bad.

My oldest son and (the witch), trust me I'm being nice, decided to get married. They came over for dinner one day and she had the nerve to say to me. " We decided you don't have to buy us a wedding gift since your making our wedding cake for free."

I told her "Who said I was making it for free."




Oh my. We "decided" you don't "have" to buy us a gift? You have my deepest sympathy.

KMLRose Posted 15 Apr 2011 , 4:48am
post #22 of 73

I love the you don't have to buy us a gift. I've had that said to me and it drives me crazy. I would rather buy the gift and then get paid for the cake. The cake is more than likely going to cost me more in supplies than the gift is going to cost

aliciazak Posted 15 Apr 2011 , 4:49am
post #23 of 73

I'm only just starting out in the decorating world and I posted on my Facebook that if anyone wanted cupcakes/cakes I would be willing to do it if they paid for all of the ingredients. I have had quite a few takers so far and a few of them said that they would give me a donation for my time icon_smile.gif. I guess it is only a matter of time before I get people trying to get me to do things for free.

bjscakedecor Posted 15 Apr 2011 , 4:53am
post #24 of 73

I agree with Indydebi, I have been in the cake business for nearly 30 years and my family only get free cakes if I offer. If they ask for a cake I always get them to pay for the ingredients and decorations - it has definately stopped them from asking for a cake for afternoon tea or as a donation to someone who is just an aquaintance. Yes I will do cakes for their friends but if I do not know them (the friends) they pay full price.
For your own sanity and finances know your prices for your ingredients and don't charge any less. We need to make people appreciate our skill and each time we don't charge enough we are undervaluing ourselves and our craft. We are being asked to do the cake because we have the skill and they do not. (Yes I vent on this subject on a regular basis)

jvega21 Posted 15 Apr 2011 , 6:03am
post #25 of 73

[/quote]I am a newbie and so I think people ask me because they think it will be good practice for me and free for them and it really ticks me off beacause I dont even know them my family offers to pay but I dont take it I'm still learning, the in-laws tell people I'll bring the cake and call me want a free cake I can't stand that but... nobody will be calling me after I take a few of these 300 dollar classes to get the skills I need to charge the BIG bucks icon_biggrin.gif[/quote]



I'm new too,and Ive offered to make my family and friends cakes for free. Before it was just buttercream not design because I didn't know how, but now that I do, this is the last year I make cakes for free. My frind offered to pay me for he kids b-day cake, but I told them it was my gift to them. I told her it would not hav fondant because thats really expensive and I broke it down for her, and she was realy appreciative about it.
I'm taking notes here, I know that I need to start charging atleast for materials, it's getting pricy. Thanks to everyone for the input thumbs_up.gif helps us newbies.

scp1127 Posted 15 Apr 2011 , 6:25am
post #26 of 73

When my family wants a cake, we plan a time and we all go to the bakery and start baking. I have one mixing, one baking, rolling fondant, washing dishes... we have a blast. And the cakes turn out great with the group effort. I donate the ingredients. I'm from a long line of southern cooks. We never had a catered wedding or event because collectively, we were the best cooks we knew. I'm glad to be passing along this tradition to my three daughters and my extended family.

MrsMoe07 Posted 15 Apr 2011 , 6:42am
post #27 of 73

I just started taking classes and my family see's how excited I am about all of this. Reading all your comments lets me to think how I'm going to handle my family and cakes O_o I've already been told which birthdays I'm making cakes for!

Jennifer353 Posted 15 Apr 2011 , 8:08am
post #28 of 73
Quote:
Originally Posted by aliciazak

I'm only just starting out in the decorating world and I posted on my Facebook that if anyone wanted cupcakes/cakes I would be willing to do it if they paid for all of the ingredients. I have had quite a few takers so far and a few of them said that they would give me a donation for my time icon_smile.gif. I guess it is only a matter of time before I get people trying to get me to do things for free.




I think this is a really good way to start - it gets them to appreciate that the flour, etc doesnt just turn up in your cupboard when you go to make them a cake and that there are costs involved. If they started asking for freebies they are effectively asking you to donate the money to them they should have paid for ingredients.
Keep charging for the ingredients and then charge a little for your time and gradually put that up while starting to get "real" clients you charge full to. (or that's what I'd do but I'm only a hobby baker so others may contradict me)

indydebi Posted 15 Apr 2011 , 8:30am
post #29 of 73

If you folks are doing it for 'cost of ingredients' and donating your time, I STILL say make them buy the stuff .... and you get ot keep the leftovers. I mean if you're making a cake for them that requires 5 eggs, YOU still have to shell out the moeny for whole dozen, out of your pocket. Ypu dont' get to buy just 5 eggs. So if they are getting a cake "for cost of ingredients", how do THEY get to pay for just 5 eggs? icon_confused.gif

If they begrudge you the leftover 7 eggs in exchange for a beautiful cake, they are not much of a friend.

Cakes-and-bakes Posted 15 Apr 2011 , 9:00am
post #30 of 73

I agree with the other ladies, limit or even stop the free cakes. At the very least if your immidiate family members want a 'free' cake, and youre willing to do it, have them buy your ingredients. Its not cheap to make a cake when you think about it, and preferably theyll pick a design that requires a pan and some toold you dont have. maybe if they pay for the ingredients theyll realize how much it costs you to make them a 'free' cake. I'd also have some family 'keep me company' while I make it so they can see how long it takes and how back breaking it is. maybe after that they'll realize they shouldnt be asking for free cakes. I make custom cake pops, and a couple friends gawked at my price. When I hired those 2 friends to help me with a massive order and they saw what goes into them, those two friends told me I was way undercharching!

I also agree with the other women when it comes to if I want to make you a cake, and I offer, and iots my idea, then its considered my gift. People for some reason expect me to bring cake pops to pot lucks and bring a dish dinner and are surprised when I bring a savory or another type of dessert. Yes I like making cake pops, but they are a lot of work and take hours. If im not going to be making some money on them, then Im not bringing them to the potluck lol. good luck with your family sweetie.

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