What Is Wrong With People???....vent

Decorating By mmmcake0072 Updated 15 Feb 2011 , 8:35pm by chefjess819

mmmcake0072 Posted 15 Feb 2011 , 2:25pm
post #1 of 17

So I'm at the library and the libranian and I are friendly so whe was asking to see pics of my recent cakes. She oohs and awhs and brings and couple who are in line with the other librarian into the conversation and hows them my pics. This was fine....a bit embarassing, but fine. I don't advertise, just word of mouth so I should be happy someone is tooting my horn since I don't do it enough. This is why......
So the grandparents (they were with their grandchild) no I am not being rude, proceed to look at my stuff and ask for my e-mail info and ask for my card......as I hand it to them (it is a large post card with photos of cakes on it) they say "Our daughter does cakes and I'm sure she'd like to see your work."
I live in a very small town, I already know that yes there are a few women here who do cakes...but REALLY?????
I got home and literally not even an hour later they had already emailed me to ask me to send both them and their daughter my link to my photo album.
This is not the first time I have had something like this happen, hence the not tooting my orn bit, but this seemed so ...crass? I'm sure that when they did that I must have had this look on my face. ecause I sure had this awful feeling in my chest....anger? confusion? distrust? I don't exactly knbow but it sure upsets me!

16 replies
pummy Posted 15 Feb 2011 , 3:01pm
post #2 of 17

All I can say is wow! tapedshut.gif You can look at it as a compliment. Obviously their daughters work wasn't as good as yours. They were more impressed with your work. You don't have to respond to their email but if you want to you can direct them to the internet which has loads of pics she can look at. What was the librarians purpose of bringing them over to you? Has she ever ordered a cake from you? We all have those who love to see our latest cakes but never get one themselves. Sometimes we have to down play our cake skills to those types of non customers. Kind of like the chronic "window shopper".

sccandwbfan Posted 15 Feb 2011 , 3:06pm
post #3 of 17

Is the cake business ubber competetive? I know 2 sisters that are way more advanced than I am here where I live. One always says that my work is improving when I put my pictures on Facebook. I am thinking about going into business in about 5 years when my skills improve; should I thicken my skin to take on the fight of my life for cake customers? icon_smile.gif

Oh, and I would take them asking as a compliment too. I carry a small photo book around with me and will show it to anyone who asks, even another cake person. icon_smile.gif Everyone one on this website is so helpful and nice, I wondered if all cake business was good. icon_smile.gif

Christy

MissLisa Posted 15 Feb 2011 , 3:58pm
post #4 of 17

I was recently in a store to purchase a small glass bowl to make a snow globe cake. I asked the clerk if they carried a slightly larger size and she asked if I was using it as a fish bowl. I explained what I wanted it for and she says, "oh you do cakes?" Why yes I do! "ohh do you have a card?" Again, yes I do and I handed it to her and she says, "my grandma does cakes, I'll give her your card and if she ever needs anything she can call you. Maybe you can swap stuff back and forth so she doesn't have to buy everthing." WHAT??????? Thankfully at this point I've not heard from either of them!

indydebi Posted 15 Feb 2011 , 5:21pm
post #5 of 17

If another decorator wanted to look at my work, I'd be estatic at the compliment! Why is it ok for people to look at your cakes UNLESS they are a fellow decorators? Isn't that what we do here?

I dont' get it. icon_confused.gif

tinygoose Posted 15 Feb 2011 , 5:28pm
post #6 of 17

Oh I used to feel that way when I came across people who... knew people who do cakes. It really used to bother me. I don't know why, maybe I felt like all my cake secrets were going to be exposed, or my work scrutinized? Maybe somebody was going to make fun of me? Was I going to be force into a cake friendship....lol I don't know why it bothered me, but it did at first.

At some point my outlook changed, I realized these other "cakers" were pretty nice people who I obviously have a lot in common with. I have learned to approach these encounters in a much more friendly and helpful way. I can't imagine not having these women in my life today, they have brought me so much joy. I am super excited for them when they do well. I speak highly of them and their work, they are my friends after all.

These people are my allies, I refer business out to them when I don't want it. We DO share cake secrets....how awesome to have someone to call who gets the 2am cake nightmares, difficult clients, etc, etc. Who better to root for you when you enter a competition at the local fair, even if you both entered!! Who are you going to call when you have a wedding cake due and your child is running a fever, or you're sick....I have many to choose from. I'm there if my cake friends need me at 2am, and I know they would be there for me as well. What I have given out to them I have received back 10 fold.

Kitagrl Posted 15 Feb 2011 , 5:49pm
post #7 of 17

I always get people saying "Oh my so-and-so does cakes too!" or "I do cakes on occasion!!!" And they want to see my work.

First of all, its making conversation...people are always happy to find something in common. I was in the ER over Thanksgiving and the doc there happened to be a friendly, chatty guy who found out I did cakes and started talking about his mother who did cakes.

Sometimes I find it repetitive haha but never offensive...its people finding a common ground...and if they truly love the art, then of course they'll want to see your pics, or anybody's pics!

Lorabell Posted 15 Feb 2011 , 5:53pm
post #8 of 17

Hey,

I guess I'm kinda missing something, I don't understand why you would be upset at someone/decorator wanting to look at your pictures.

I look at pictures all the time of other decorators to learn and if I have questions, I hope they will be gracious enough to answer them. I know this is a competitive business, but if someone doesn't want to buy a cake from me, it can be disappointing, but oh well.

The only one I truly compete with is myself and that is to do better. Now I guess I would feel weird if someone was wanting me to share my stuff, but other than that I feel like we are all in the same boat and should be more than willing to lift each other up and help each other out.

I guess that's just me....

Lori

obsessed Posted 15 Feb 2011 , 6:31pm
post #9 of 17

Cakes are just a hobby for me but I will show photos to anyone who asks...and even some people who don't. icon_smile.gif

metria Posted 15 Feb 2011 , 6:35pm
post #10 of 17

i'm a bit confused too and think it should be a compliment. your cakes are fantastic! i'd be showing them off too!

mmmcake0072 Posted 15 Feb 2011 , 7:36pm
post #11 of 17

Sorry, I guess what I am trying to say is that yes, in this area there are a few women that I know who do cakes and most of them I have found to be fun truley nice people, we swap ideas and I send them business if I can't accomodate the customer. However, The way this couple did it was not so nice. I found the whole situation to be rude, they were so crass and they were reallly REALLY pushy about it. I am all for a little goodhearted compitition, and for learning from and giving advice to others. I have though found some peole to be rude and even snotty about it once they hear that I am relativley new at it and it makes me get my guard up and therefore I got upset over these overly pushy people. Sorry if I upset anyone, purhaps I should not post during THAT time, I am a bit hormonal and purhaps in a week I will feel a little differently with this couple but they were pretty crass.
I have no problem showing my work to people, but if they are rude.....REALLY?
As I said EMOTIONAL.

indydebi Posted 15 Feb 2011 , 7:41pm
post #12 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by mmmcake0072

I have no problem showing my work to people, but if they are rude.....REALLY?


but your original post said,

Quote:
Quote:

So the grandparents (they were with their grandchild) no I am not being rude, proceed to look at my stuff and ask for my e-mail info and ask for my card......as I hand it to them (it is a large post card with photos of cakes on it) they say "Our daughter does cakes and I'm sure she'd like to see your work."


unless its just not coming across well in the written word, I still don't see the rude part. icon_confused.gif

metria Posted 15 Feb 2011 , 7:46pm
post #13 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by mmmcake0072

Sorry, I guess what I am trying to say is that yes, in this area there are a few women that I know who do cakes and most of them I have found to be fun truley nice people, we swap ideas and I send them business if I can't accomodate the customer. However, The way this couple did it was not so nice. I found the whole situation to be rude, they were so crass and they were reallly REALLY pushy about it. I am all for a little goodhearted compitition, and for learning from and giving advice to others. I have though found some peole to be rude and even snotty about it once they hear that I am relativley new at it and it makes me get my guard up and therefore I got upset over these overly pushy people. Sorry if I upset anyone, purhaps I should not post during THAT time, I am a bit hormonal and purhaps in a week I will feel a little differently with this couple but they were pretty crass.
I have no problem showing my work to people, but if they are rude.....REALLY?
As I said EMOTIONAL.




i did not understand the situation at first! how awful, big hug! we can totally understand being sensitive to how people perceive your work, especially if they're going to be jerks about it.

mmmcake0072 Posted 15 Feb 2011 , 7:58pm
post #14 of 17

I didn't go into detail about the whole 20 min conversation that I had with them....but I have decided that thru writing therapy (yes this site) i am going to let it go....just take a deep breath, eat some butter tarts that TOTALLY DID NOT TURN OUT! I have to use a bowl. The messier the better huh? Anyways, yes, I ignoreed the email an am going to try to remember that not everyone has filters.

KSMill Posted 15 Feb 2011 , 8:18pm
post #15 of 17

I love to show people my pictures, but there are those "few" who know someone, either a family member or friend, who have been rude with comments like, "oh, my grandma never leveled her cakes, there's no need to" or some other snide comment that sheds just a hint of judgment. Oh well, for the most part, people love to look at the pictures.

TerriLynn Posted 15 Feb 2011 , 8:24pm
post #16 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by obsessed

Cakes are just a hobby for me but I will show photos to anyone who asks...and even some people who don't. icon_smile.gif


Me too!! I wear my co-workers out with all of my pictures. icon_biggrin.gif

chefjess819 Posted 15 Feb 2011 , 8:35pm
post #17 of 17

i couldn't count how many times my husband did the "smile and nod" as i showed him pics on here that i really like. i do the same thing with custom cars he shows me so it works out. lol icon_cool.gif

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