Just Venting...long... Sorry

Decorating By Babs1964 Updated 25 Jan 2011 , 3:31am by Babs1964

Babs1964 Posted 25 Jan 2011 , 1:02am
post #1 of 8

I've only been making cakes for about a year, I've had to do lots of research ask lots of questions and all of you know what I'm talking about. Problem is now alot of people including family keep asking me how to make them and for recipes etc. This is my hobby nothing more I keep being very vague because I don't want to hurt feelings but all of a sudden they are volunteering me to help a family member make a cake and I really don't want my work with theirs (theirs is VERY messy), she started making cakes after me.
Trying hard not to feel like this is my hobby get your own, BUT thats how I feel! NO ONE in the family did any cakes until I started!
Does anyone else feel like this and how do you handle it?

7 replies
cupcakesnbuttercream Posted 25 Jan 2011 , 1:17am
post #2 of 8

Well, I haven't had this problem with family. I have had friends ask me for help/guidance in making their kids cakes, and one friend (who is a baker/decorator as well) has asked me for recipes. I don't have a problem with sharing things with them, however, I don't go into grave detail on how I do things.

pattycakesnj Posted 25 Jan 2011 , 1:37am
post #3 of 8

I don't share recipes with anyone, including family. Just tell them NO

tinygoose Posted 25 Jan 2011 , 1:44am
post #4 of 8

I'm always happy to share. You want to know how to make this cake or decorate that? No problem....Bake a cake, make a batch of buttercream (here are the recipes!) then come on over and I'll show you where to go from there. You know how many have taken my up on this......ummm one, and that one paid me $100 for a lesson (I said pay me whatever you like).

When it turns into work for them, it's less appealing. Also happy to tell you how to do it over the phone, but I draw the line at going to their house to show them. If they want to learn, it's my way or the .....well you get the idea.

bakencake Posted 25 Jan 2011 , 1:54am
post #5 of 8

honestly, i just saw your pics and i dont blame them for asking your cakes are beautiful and very clean. sometimes it's really hard to say not to family so maybe you could be very busy. or just maybe include a very long list of had to get and very expensive ingredients. or learn to grow a back bone and say no. I'm still working on it but once in a while they get me.

cownsj Posted 25 Jan 2011 , 2:10am
post #6 of 8

I have no problem sharing recipes, and helping where I can. However, I just had something happen in the past few days that really got to me, and your post reminds me of it. Back in december I did my first stained glass window cake. A friend asked me to show her how to do a simple design so she could do it for her family for the holidays. No problem, and we had fun doing it. I gave her my bc recipe that day, and she's baked several cakes since then and always makes her own bc now. Great, now here's what just happened (remember, she's only done 1 cake with any design on it, the rest are your typical bake a cake and put frosting on it.) I get my first assignment from Icing Smiles to do a cake. I'm thrilled and excited and want to make the best cake of my life. I'm talking with this friend and telling her about it and she immediately tells me she wants in, she wants to participate in making it. HUH? Then she tells me that her cakes are much more moist than mine and so she should be baking the cake anyway. (She's never had a cake I baked). She goes on with, well she doesn't know how to decorate a cake, but she should be the one baking it. Then, As the conversation goes on, she's telling me I can just "show" her how to make the decorations and she can do that too. WTF? A few days later she asks me about the cake again and what is the design and again, but more politely tells me how much she wants to be part of making this cake. Well, she won't get within a mile of this cake. Sorry, but not after that attitude, now if she wants to participate in this type of thing, she can go elsewhere to learn her stuff, and not from me, because she isn't going to insult me and then expect me to teach her anything more.
Don't let them ride your coat tails and bring down your image and reputation (even within family), while making their own talents look better.

indydebi Posted 25 Jan 2011 , 2:10am
post #7 of 8

great tactic! icon_lol.gif

I also (used to) have a family that would volunteer me for stuff. "Oh no problem, Alice! Debi will be glad to help you do that!" It just would have been nice if they had actually ASKED me before telling Alice that I'd do it!

I say "used to" because I learned to nip it in the bud. After they protested "But I already told her you would! You HAVE to do it!" I'd just tell them, "Not my problem. You shouldn't make promises that YOU can't keep."

You only have to do this a couple/few times before they get the message. Of course there are those family members who will make it sound like YOU are the b*tch for not "helping" but take it with a grain of salt and move on. I'd rather be a B*tch who stands up for myself than a doormat who lets other control my spare time. thumbs_up.gif

(sometimes its not an easy process .... the fusion of a backbone can take time, and sometimes we suffer a slipped disc or two, but we all get there eventually! thumbs_up.gif )

Quote:
Originally Posted by tinygoose

I'm always happy to share. You want to know how to make this cake or decorate that? No problem....Bake a cake, make a batch of buttercream (here are the recipes!) then come on over and I'll show you where to go from there. You know how many have taken my up on this......ummm one, and that one paid me $100 for a lesson (I said pay me whatever you like).

When it turns into work for them, it's less appealing. Also happy to tell you how to do it over the phone, but I draw the line at going to their house to show them. If they want to learn, it's my way or the .....well you get the idea.


Babs1964 Posted 25 Jan 2011 , 3:31am
post #8 of 8

Thanks everyone I guess I need the backbone!

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