What Is It With These Brides And Rudeness Over Finances????

Business By bobwonderbuns Updated 13 Jan 2011 , 2:06am by bobwonderbuns

bobwonderbuns Posted 11 Jan 2011 , 2:37pm
post #1 of 25

Hi all! I'm just REALLY put off at the moment -- had an inquiry that didn't go well -- I'm just wondering why do they always want to get in a p*ssing match over finances!! This "lady" (and I do use the term loosely) was downright rude saying I'm too expensive and when I told her cheap cakes ain't quality and quality cakes ain't cheap -- you will get what you pay for, she went off like a roman candle! icon_mad.gif Things like I don't know my business, others have lower prices, yada yada yada. (Which by the way, she's wrong about -- the prices she quoted me, I called those bakeries and got prices HIGHER than my base price!!) icon_confused.gif

Sorry to vent, I'm just really put off by the whole experience. I have an aversion to rudeness and yes, I'm glad she's gone (thank Gawd!) but really!! Now she's the type that will smear my name just to be spiteful. It just bugs me. icon_evil.gif

Thanks for letting me vent! icon_biggrin.gif

24 replies
-K8memphis Posted 11 Jan 2011 , 2:43pm
post #2 of 25

We all know there are those amongst us who will bow down so low to get to do someone's cake that they loose money doing it. Your potential client was trolling for that person.

That soft touch willing to be a door mat for the sake of a wedding reception where the bride needs to get what she wants and not have to be bothered with such a petty thing as paying properly for it.

Likely she will find one too. And like you said, she'll get what she pays for.

But those door mat decorators amongst us who say, "Oh I'm not hurting anyone else, I'm not interfering with anyone else's business." Maybe --maybe not.

-K8memphis Posted 11 Jan 2011 , 3:03pm
post #3 of 25

Jen'sCreativity in the 'jaw dropping' thread sparked a thought for me.

Hey guys--when we get a cheapy mcCheapykins potential client--thank God!! Take the time like BobWonderBuns did here and let them know that the magazine articles are wrong! That the random caker they are looking for who will give it away is someone that should not be taken advantage of.

Put it out there, professionally and politely.

"Oh yes I get this type of call occasionally--typically the client has been reading wedding articles that have no basis in fact regarding economy wedding cakes and often are disappointed in the end product. Just like everything else in life there's a price for quality. You'll pay for your cake one way or the other. Keep your cake and your wedding sweet--get a professional to do it for you."

bobwonderbuns Posted 11 Jan 2011 , 3:05pm
post #4 of 25

Thanks, that does help! I should have been more in tune -- I had a feeling about her right from the word go, but I agreed to speak with her anyway. Boy am I glad a bridezilla got diverted!! icon_biggrin.gif If she wants to call sticking to your guns being rude, then hey, I'm rude! icon_lol.gif But I am NOT a doormat, nor should I be. Well if someone wants to undercut their prices, she's what they get to deal with! icon_twisted.gif

playingwithsugar Posted 11 Jan 2011 , 3:07pm
post #5 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by -K8memphis

Jen'sCreativity in the 'jaw dropping' thread sparked a thought for me.

Hey guys--when we get a cheapy mcCheapykins potential client--thank God!! Take the time like BobWonderBuns did here and let them know that the magazine articles are wrong!




Those are the same magazines that suggest that an adventurous bride can bake and decorate her own wedding cake. Try suggesting that one, and let me know what the answer is. LOL!

Theresa icon_smile.gif

bakencake Posted 11 Jan 2011 , 3:26pm
post #6 of 25

I think this boils down to the average woman with an average budget who wants a tv wedding. I dont think that they understand that it's a tv wedding and thousands of dollars and time spent by professionals and highly qualified team worked on it on a budget that most people would never be able to afford. I have been to several of my friends weddings that were lovely and tasteful and small and no nobody (on tv land) would ever sit for an hour to see this, so for some people the reality is a David turtera fairy tale wedding and then are slapped in the face when they see that their fairy tale cake is 3/4 of their budget. when the slap is happening some people are graceful and some are thumbsdown.gif

bobwonderbuns Posted 11 Jan 2011 , 3:37pm
post #7 of 25

If she's twisting my words now, I don't even want to THINK what dealing with her would have been like! tapedshut.gif

Annabakescakes Posted 11 Jan 2011 , 6:21pm
post #8 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by bakencake

I think this boils down to the average woman with an average budget who wants a tv wedding. I dont think that they understand that it's a tv wedding and thousands of dollars and time spent by professionals and highly qualified team worked on it on a budget that most people would never be able to afford. I have been to several of my friends weddings that were lovely and tasteful and small and no nobody (on tv land) would ever sit for an hour to see this, so for some people the reality is a David turtera fairy tale wedding and then are slapped in the face when they see that their fairy tale cake is 3/4 of their budget. when the slap is happening some people are graceful and some are thumbsdown.gif




thumbs_up.gifthumbs_up.gifthumbs_up.gif

And what is wrong with a beautiful, tasteful wedding that cost less than a car, anyways? My wedding was so sweet and I did my own cake (already experienced with cakes) and we spent less than $2000, including the Honeymoon.

rachpizano Posted 11 Jan 2011 , 6:48pm
post #9 of 25

Ok whether your wrong or right you cant not be rude. If your really said to her quality cakes aren't cheap and cheap cakes aren't quality. Obviously she took it badly. When your quote a price simple quote the price If the client feels its too much dont engage in a price war with them. Simply say these are my prices. that's it. Yeah she may have been a totally bridezilla but bridezillas have friends and family. Who talk to other people Before I ever take time to meet with a client I tell them on the phone my wedding start start at..... So there aren't any surprises at the appointment. No since in meeting with someone who cant afford you. Keep in mind. most people just dont have clue how much time and effort go into making a wedding cake or how much they cost. WITH THAT BEING SAID NEVER DROP YOUR PRICES. YOU DESERVE EVERY PENNY FOR YOUR WORK. i think being to the point and direct but polite is the way to go.

costumeczar Posted 11 Jan 2011 , 9:52pm
post #10 of 25

If some nasty b#&$^#& tells you that you're too expensive, just tell her that you're sorry that she can't afford your prices, and that you certainly understand that this economy has been hard on some people, and that you'll be glad to speak to her about an order in the future if her situation improves. Just say it reallllly politely. And with sympathy in your voice.

By the way, did you all see that interview with David Tutera where he said that most of the elements inthe weddings that he does for that show are donated in exchange for publicity on the show? And that when he's done the weddings that he puts together would be in the $40-$50,000 range?

bobwonderbuns Posted 11 Jan 2011 , 10:16pm
post #11 of 25

Upon hindsight I am not only extremely grateful she's gone with the wind, but I see now that she was indeed trolling -- all this took place via email and hers were always "abrupt" to say the least (I would insert the word "rude" personally.) Then she got downright snarky when she read my base prices and got downright insulting. She's one of those "shoot and run" types -- "I'm going to tell you off and say all kinds of mean things but don't you DARE email me again because I'm going to have the last word!" How freaking childish!!! icon_confused.gif No, I don't think there was any way I could have "won" this one. I'm just grateful she's someone else's headache now! icon_twisted.gif

neelycharmed Posted 11 Jan 2011 , 10:36pm
post #12 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by bobwonderbuns

Upon hindsight I am not only extremely grateful she's gone with the wind, but I see now that she was indeed trolling -- all this took place via email and hers were always "abrupt" to say the least (I would insert the word "rude" personally.) Then she got downright snarky when she read my base prices and got downright insulting. She's one of those "shoot and run" types -- "I'm going to tell you off and say all kinds of mean things but don't you DARE email me again because I'm going to have the last word!" How freaking childish!!! icon_confused.gif No, I don't think there was any way I could have "won" this one. I'm just grateful she's someone else's headache now! icon_twisted.gif




Yes, let someone else have her!!! Good luck to whoever it is! icon_twisted.gif

bobwonderbuns Posted 12 Jan 2011 , 8:00pm
post #13 of 25

I know, I'm trying and trying to get over this but I'm soooooo stunned over the whole thing. I've never had a psycho be THAT insulting over prices. I'm a bad business person and I really should know the competition better and on and on and on. I mean, really? I can deal with "I'm sorry, you're out of our budget range" but that kind of evil was a new one on me. icon_confused.gif Okay, I'm going to keep busy now, hoping I can forget her completely! icon_twisted.gif

tracycakes Posted 12 Jan 2011 , 8:21pm
post #14 of 25

Someone asked me about pricing for a cake they found on my website. I told them the price was xxx and they said that YYY (local cake shop) gave them a price that was about $50 cheaper. I said "That's interesting because their prices start about $1.00 more a serving than my prices." and left it at that. No, didn't get the order but decided I didn't want it either.

Now my vent. A lady just left. I'm sorry, but if you speak a different language, it's RUDE for you and your friend to talk about meu in front of meu in a different language. Then, I asked about the date, it's January 29, which is a Sunday. She said, "You're open, right?" I said no and she started questioning why I was closed on Sunday. icon_confused.gif Excuse me but that's none of your business. Anyway, she balked at picking it up on Saturday but I finally decided that we could meet her on Sunday at the shop for her to pick it up. She said "you'll make it on Saturday, right?" No, all of my cakes are baked 2 days ahead. She decides she has to talk to her husband. She couldn't get ahold of him so she is going to call or come back. Honestly, I hope she doesn't. She came in about a month or 2 ago to talk about this cake and I could tell then that she might be a pain. One thing about pita customers, it gets me working on my people skills and patience.

Kitagrl Posted 12 Jan 2011 , 8:23pm
post #15 of 25

Hate those people who will lie about the cost of your competition in order to convince you to sell them a cheap cake....

zespri Posted 12 Jan 2011 , 8:24pm
post #16 of 25

When I read the title of your topic, my first thought was that she was probably sick of being ripped off with other parts of her wedding, and thought the same thing was happening here. I know we found with our wedding that as soon as suppliers heard the word 'wedding' the cash register started to go 'cha ching!' and the prices would triple. Everything seems to cost more when they know it's for a wedding than it would if you told them it was for a regular party. When calling for quotes we didn't tell people it was for a wedding intially, to try and avoid this known phenomenon. (well at least it seems to be around my area).

So I was going to suggest to you that the bride thought she was being ripped off, and didn't understand your cake was handmade, but now that I've read what you said, I agree she was jus trolling. The problem is when people give in to trolls they feel the flush of success and do it over and again. And they tell their troll friends... it's not good for anyone. I'm glad you had a backbone and declined the order.

I also think rachpizano was correct, if you upset the troll (who has already proven to be a loud mouth) you risk your reputation. Right or wrong, she still knows a lot of people, and your reputation is all you have to trade on.

bobwonderbuns Posted 12 Jan 2011 , 8:30pm
post #17 of 25

I know, that's part of what's bothering me. I have an excellent reputation in town and I've worked hard for it. But all it takes is one b*tchy loudmouth to ruin someone. It almost feels like I was set up or something. icon_confused.gif Most of what she was asking was detailed on my website already -- there was no reason for her to have ever contacted me with those questions. That's another thing that bothers me. Why contact me asking questions that are already addressed in detail? If you don't like the answers, move along! icon_confused.gif

MalibuBakinBarbie Posted 12 Jan 2011 , 9:31pm
post #18 of 25

bobwonderbuns, I'm sorry you're having such a hard time with this. While I feel the comments stated to you, along with the attitude, were out-of-line, I think she knew what she was doing. In my opinion, she doesn't REALLY believe you don't know your competition. I think she's either very embarrassed because she can't afford you (and it would ALMOST KILL her to admit that), OR, she's upset she couldn't bring you down to her level. Try not to take it personally. Based on what you wrote, I'm guessing anyone she would bad-mouth you to already knows she's a bit, well, I don't know what word to use here. But I think you get my point.

I hope you are able to quickly and successfully move past this and on to sweeter things. icon_smile.gif

bobwonderbuns Posted 12 Jan 2011 , 9:40pm
post #19 of 25

I appreciate it, I really do. Thanks for the comments. I'm doing better -- keeping busy helps a lot! I also made a few adjustments to my FAQs page, which will hopefully deter people like that again. Either way, I'm still eternally grateful she's someone else's headache now! icon_twisted.gificon_lol.gif

scp1127 Posted 13 Jan 2011 , 12:52am
post #20 of 25

This is an old marketing concept to keep in mind. If you make a customer happy, they will tell 10 people. If you make a customer mad, they will tell 30 people. So it takes three happy customers to make up for the bad-mouthing of one mad customer. That is how the idea came about that the customer is always right. It costs alot of money to market and bring someone to your business. You don't have to take the rude person as your customer, but try to leave a good impression. Those mouthy, nasty customers are the exact ones who like to tell everyone something bad about someone else. Try to think of it as dollars at work while they are being abusive. End the conversation on a positive note and ask for them to consider your business in the future. I know it is hard to do, but good business is good business. When they call back, you are booked!

bobwonderbuns Posted 13 Jan 2011 , 1:10am
post #21 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by scp1127

This is an old marketing concept to keep in mind. If you make a customer happy, they will tell 10 people. If you make a customer mad, they will tell 30 people. So it takes three happy customers to make up for the bad-mouthing of one mad customer. That is how the idea came about that the customer is always right. It costs alot of money to market and bring someone to your business. You don't have to take the rude person as your customer, but try to leave a good impression. Those mouthy, nasty customers are the exact ones who like to tell everyone something bad about someone else. Try to think of it as dollars at work while they are being abusive. End the conversation on a positive note and ask for them to consider your business in the future. I know it is hard to do, but good business is good business. When they call back, you are booked!




If I had a chance to I would have. That's what I mean about being blindsided -- she was the only one who could get a word in edgewise! thumbsdown.gif

cownsj Posted 13 Jan 2011 , 1:33am
post #22 of 25

I really do attribute shows like Bridezilla's for glorifying selfish and rude behavior. They not only seem to give permission to brides to behave this way, they seem to encourage it. And if it's ok for brides who are on tv to behave this way, then of course they should also. After all, it's how you get what you want, when you want it and for the price you want it.

scp1127 Posted 13 Jan 2011 , 1:44am
post #23 of 25

bobwonderbuns, then she probably won't talk too badly about you. I am the last person who wants to hold my tongue when backed in a corner, but it isn't worth it. People like that can be lethal.

costumeczar Posted 13 Jan 2011 , 2:01am
post #24 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by scp1127

bobwonderbuns, then she probably won't talk too badly about you. I am the last person who wants to hold my tongue when backed in a corner, but it isn't worth it. People like that can be lethal.




Not only that, but if she was like that to you then I'm sure she's like that to most other people to. The people who know her will know that she's a crank, so any criticism that she has about you will most likely be taken with a grain of salt by anyone who knows her.

bobwonderbuns Posted 13 Jan 2011 , 2:06am
post #25 of 25

I hope so!! Being busy helps though, I just got a new SugarVeil and I'm trying to figure it out, which helps me keep my mind off it A LOT!! icon_lol.gif

Quote by @%username% on %date%

%body%