Just because the bride was told that the date was still open, doesn't obligate you to do her cake. One purpose of the consultation (in my opinion) is to make sure that all the parties involved have a chance to find out if they are willing/able to work with each other.

If you decide to proceed, make and maintain clear boundaries about how you operate YOUR business, and as others have mentioned....document, document, document.

If it were me, I think I would respectfully decline the opportunity to take on this cake if the MOB is who you have to deal with.....

Best to you whatever you decide!

I would spell it out to her:

"You are a woman who appreciates honesty. I have been in business long enough to know that when we start a contractwith 'Don't take offense, your cake wasn't level' things aren't likely to go well down the road. The fact is that cake was levelled with a level. That said, we probably won't be able to work well together unless you step aside and let me work with the bride. Otherwise, this will go downhill fast. I'm sure a woman of your straightforwardness can appreciate that."

Maybe you can talk the bride into a topsy turvey cake...chances are the MOB will complain it's level...

Call the bride and tell her to deal with her mother and her pushy behavior if she wants you to do her cake, the bride knows how her mother will run you she was raised by her, also make it clear to the bride and MOB you do the consult on the day planned and that's it, don't allow this pushy woman to run your business and inconvenience you. MOB is being a PIA before the consult can you imagine during and after the event, she is rude and pushy nip it in the bud. People who say I don't mean to offend and run their mouth have already done so by criticizing someone elses work and saying it's yours, your risking major stress dealing with the nut.

I don't think there's anything wrong with saying you're booked. It's a lot better than saying, "I don't want to do business with you because I don't like you," no matter how politely worded it is.

And just because you don't want to deal with the MOB doesn't mean that you don't want the bride to call you in a couple of years for a first birthday cake.

In a similar situation, I called the bride with a pre-written script and told her something like,

"I'm so happy to have talked with you, you are so sweet and I know that your wedding will be a beautiful event. As you know, I'm a very experienced cake decorator having done hundreds of weddings, I've never had a single complaint. I have delivered to the venue you are using in the past and they said my cake was a huge hit and everyone enjoyed the flavors. This being said, and I'm not trying to cause any rift in your relationship at all, I have been contacted by your mom multiple times regarding your cake. The reality is I serve many many brides, and I simply don't have time to spend an extra 2 hours every week building up to your wedding to answer your moms questions. If you know that this is what she needs to be comfortable, it may be best for everyone if you find another cake decorator. I would prefer, of course, that she trusts my experience and professionalism and I can continue making your wedding cake."

And my bride from there apologized like crazy and calmed her mother down, and no complaint came afterward. But I was prepared for sure to have them walk away. I certainly would NEVER tell a bride that her mom is a B or anything like that, but we all know what our moms are like and if they are needier. My mom is. I remember apologizing constantly to our DJ who she kept calling and emailing and trying to sing songs to him from her past that she couldn't remember the words to but she wanted him to have for MY reception...

Anyhow, good luck with whatever you decide to do!

Excellent response AligotMatt, fair honest and professional.

ok, so an update on today.

As I expected the drop off lasted about 45 minutes. The woman brought her friend who was an artist, so that was a bit intimidating, BUT...
They were the NICEST people I've met with so far this tasting season! My mind is literally swirling with the compliments, from my cake pictures, to the design of my house (I designed it from the sticks up). The friend actually asked me what PAINT I used in my living room because she HAD to get some!

Now, they may be totally be sucking up, but I'll take it. I'm still going to keep my eye out and maintain better boundaries than I did with this meeting, but on the whole, I'm really glad I gave them a chance.

I guess the lesson for me is, don't judge a rich lady by her phone conversations!