Are You Kidding Me

Lounge By shelly-101 Updated 7 Dec 2010 , 9:29pm by 7yyrt

shelly-101 Posted 6 Dec 2010 , 5:15am
post #1 of 36

i have been decorating cakes for about 3 years now i am in the process of building a shop the whole family knows this my mom called me today and tells me she seen on face book that my cousin has started decorating cakes and has rented a kitchen and has started to sell them she lives a couple hours away from me so i just kind of rolled my eyes and thought ok what ever but i thought i would be nosey and check out her blog. ok so the cakes are better then i thought they would be still they look like beginner cakes not ready to sell in my opinion not that i am the most amazing cake decorator out there but i feel my cakes are good and worthy of selling. any way i keep looking and reading her blog and at the end i come to delivery options and it says she will deliver to my area i could not help but be mad. maybe I'm being stupid but i feel like she is trying to compete with me or something because its strange that all of the sudden she has started to decorate cakes and her dream is to own her own cake shop i got that from her blog as well. i know I'm not the only cake decorator out there and i do not have a say so in who can decorate cakes but come on really icon_confused.gificon_cry.gificon_confused.gif i don't know maybe I'm just being stupid and need to get over it. i just needed to vent i guess

35 replies
cakesdelight Posted 6 Dec 2010 , 5:54am
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Its totally OK to be upset! your not jealous of her or her cakes.... maybe if she wouldve told you herself instead of hearing it from someone else you'd probably be feeling different (i'm going through the same situation...) I saw all your cakes and YOU HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT! your work is clean and very detail oriented.. Kepp Your Chin Up! icon_smile.gif

Jeep_girl816 Posted 6 Dec 2010 , 6:34am
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Not that you, or any of us for that matter, are hoping for her failure, but a lot of these people that are jumping on the cake/cupcake bandwagon are realizing that it's a lot more work than they bargained for and don't make it past they're first couple years in business. She might be gone before you actually get your business off the ground.

CWR41 Posted 6 Dec 2010 , 6:36am
post #4 of 36

Don't be mad. She isn't going to find anyone to pay for her beginner cakes in the first place, much less someone willing to pay for delivery charges two hours away! (If she delivers that far away for free, she'll be broke and out of business before she ever gets started!) It's not very likely that she'll ever be your direct competition from that distance, so you shouldn't worry about it.

pinkbutterfly Posted 6 Dec 2010 , 6:39am
post #5 of 36
Quote:
Quote:

" I saw all your cakes and YOU HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT! "




I agree. Your cakes are amazing!!, but I would be upset too. I have vindictive, jealous family too. Just remember, It was your idea first. You've only been doing this for 3 years? I have been doing this hobby for much longer and hope to someday be even half as great as yours! Keep your head high. You do it because you LOVE it. You might wonder why is she? If she doesn't love it, she won't last long. If she is trying to compete with you, she will kill herself doing it. We all know how much work goes into even the simplest of cakes!

tinygoose Posted 6 Dec 2010 , 6:47am
post #6 of 36

That would be sort of a hard pill to swallow at first, but if you are planning on opening your shop, don't forget the importance of networking inside and outside of your industry. Those other bakeries out there are not your enemies, they are colleagues of sorts. You will need to be on friendly terms with them.

Every business has something different to bring to the table. Say you have an emergency and can't do a wedding cake....who are you going to call? Or if Food Network calls (hey we can dream right?) who's going to be your assistant?

I have several baker/friends in the area who would help me out, loan me equipment, come over at all hours if I asked, we refer business to each other when we are booked, share tips and info. It's important to keep good relationships, your cousin could be a great asset to your business, referrals, etc. She's not competition, she potential partner material!!

shelly-101 Posted 6 Dec 2010 , 6:59am
post #7 of 36

thanks everyone i guess it just shocked me more then anything. i almost felt silly for being upset but me and my cousin have always been very competitive i don't know why so i guess i took it as she did it so she could compete with me.

indydebi Posted 6 Dec 2010 , 10:33am
post #8 of 36

I honestly don't get the problem. icon_confused.gif

Put it in perspective.......

Two hours away is a significant difference. I'm in Indianapolis. Louisville KY is, according to mapquest, 2 hrs and 5 minutes away. But I didn't and wouldn't consider leah_s a 'competitor' to me. Dayton, OH is 1hr, 55 mins away, but I didn't and wouldn't consider those bakers competition to me either.

Any baker in those cities can offer to deliver 2 hrs away but seriously ..... I don't know many brides in Indianapolis who will drive to Dayton or Louisville to order their wedding cake. There is a possibility that a bride who lives in those cities, who may be getting married in Indianapolis, may go that route, but I think those would be the exception.

So you have a relative 2 hours away who also makes cakes. Whatz the problem? Now you have great war stories to share at the family get togethers!!

shelly-101 Posted 6 Dec 2010 , 1:27pm
post #9 of 36

indeydebi......i didn't say there was a problem i have the right to feel upset. she has never wanted to decorate cakes before until she found out i was doing it she was doing some sort of thing with vinyl the decorative stuff that you put on walls last i knew and was doing well at it, she comes here for craft fairs and does good so i thought good for her but it didn't make me want to go buy one. i just feel like what if i would have went and bought a vinyl cutter and started to do the same thing she was already doing i think she would have been pissed at me. that's the problem and that's your opinion. i understand that i can't tell her to stop decorating cakes because that's my thing but i do have the right to feel the way i do and be a smidge bit upset.

NerdyGirl Posted 6 Dec 2010 , 2:00pm
post #10 of 36

Going out on a limb here...but is there a history of competition between you and your cousin?

If you're better, you're better. People will notice this. If she wants to do what you're doing, consider it a compliment. If she's doing it to cause drama, she'll be in for a rude awakening. People who set out to hurt others soon find out that they're the ones hurting in the end.

Karen421 Posted 6 Dec 2010 , 2:07pm
post #11 of 36

If she never "wanted to decorate cakes before until she found out you did", she will probably quit once the novelty wears off. I understand your feelings, but your cakes are fantastic! You will have nothing to worry about! icon_biggrin.gif

Babarooskie Posted 6 Dec 2010 , 2:50pm
post #12 of 36

I agree with Debi. I don't see why you should be upset. If she's 2 hours away from you, then I don't think it's that big of an issue you're making it out to be. Instead, I feel that you should be a little more supportive and share ideas together because who knows- one day she might be swamped with orders and she could refer YOU some business & vice versa.

There's always going to be another baker, another restaurant, another doctor around the corner- such is life. Just like you are starting your business, so is the other person.

I make cakes and my aunt who lives literally 5 minutes away from does also. We help each other out and we even sometimes bake together.

Marla84 Posted 6 Dec 2010 , 2:50pm
post #13 of 36

I see this a little differently because my cousin actually started decorating cakes before I did, but my interest in doing it had nothing to do with her. (neither of us sell our cakes though so my situation is a little different) Cake decorating is really popular right now... so I'm sorry, but I don't see it as being your idea and her copying you. I can understand being upset that she is selling her cakes, but it doesn't seem that she will really be competition to you since she lives in a different area and her cakes are more beginner. Good luck with starting your shop!

shelly-101 Posted 6 Dec 2010 , 4:40pm
post #14 of 36

I understand were everyone is coming from and maybe i am being stupid but i try to tell myself these things you are all saying but i can't help it, i still feel like she is only doing because i am. i don't know if i actually view her as my competition. i was fine with it until she said she would deliver to my area so i feel like she is purposely trying to be my competition. i don't really know what i think. i just know i am a little bothered and i don't know why

grandmomof1 Posted 6 Dec 2010 , 5:02pm
post #15 of 36

Competition is everywhere. No matter what you do or have in life, someone can do it better and some will have more. On the other hand, someone will be worse and someone will have less. Shrug it off. Do the best you can and just worry about your own business. Spend your time and energy on making yours the best.

cakeville82 Posted 6 Dec 2010 , 5:42pm
post #16 of 36

I would take it as a compliment, she obviously admires you and your work enough to try and emulate you.

creations Posted 6 Dec 2010 , 5:51pm
post #17 of 36

i can relate and understand you, yes you should be upset that she didnt come to you and maybe both could of work something out , but by her doing this behide you shows that your a threat so step up your game , brush off the powder sugar off the shoulders and take it as a challenge not everyone can create the same thing to be exact. You do what you have to do and dont take this to the heart, just a lesson good luck in the future and continue to create cakes

debbief Posted 6 Dec 2010 , 5:55pm
post #18 of 36

no one can tell you how you should feel about it. If it bothers you, it bothers you. You can't help that. Doesn't sound like you're going to make a big deal out of it, sounds like you just kind of wanted to vent. And venting always helps to just put it behind you.

Just don't dwell on it. Say hmmm that's annoying but whatever, good luck to her.

Because when it's all said and done, you have amazing cakes. And your gallery has more favorites than I've seen in the majority of the galleries I've browsed. So to me, that means that a LOT of people are impressed with your cakes. You have nothing to be worried about if she intends to compete with you. Annoyed yes, worried no. icon_wink.gif

shelly-101 Posted 6 Dec 2010 , 6:20pm
post #19 of 36

thanks guys, yes i just think i needed to vent more then anything

costumeczar Posted 6 Dec 2010 , 6:21pm
post #20 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by shelly-101

I understand were everyone is coming from and maybe i am being stupid but i try to tell myself these things you are all saying but i can't help it, i still feel like she is only doing because i am. i don't know if i actually view her as my competition. i was fine with it until she said she would deliver to my area so i feel like she is purposely trying to be my competition. i don't really know what i think. i just know i am a little bothered and i don't know why




I'll tell you why you're bothered by it...You said that the two of you were always competitive for some reason. Okay, so you've competed with her for whatever reason. Now she's doing exactly what you've been planning on doing, just out of the blue? Ha ha ha, yeah right. She's copying you, and of course that would chap your A$$. I have a sister who did this exact thing all the time, and it's a pain in the butt. You're bothered because you're human, not a robot. Of course it's going to piss you off!

Do what I learned to do, just roll your eyes and walk away. This kind of behavior on her part is just juvenile, so ignore her. If she brings it up with you just smile and tell her that you wish her success in her business. That will confuse her more than anything will. I agree with the people who said that she'll probably quit soon, because if she never showed any interest in cakes before I doubt that she'll keep it up once she finds out that it's work.

traci_doodle Posted 6 Dec 2010 , 6:28pm
post #21 of 36

I had a similar situation happen recently. I found out my husband's cousin started doing cakes. I've never really been in competition with this cousin (although my husband kind of has), but she's the favorite grandchild where extended family is concerned. At least in my case she wasn't doing it to compete with me (although I don't doubt that's the case in your case), but I just dread my husband's grandparents going off about how her cakes look just as good or better than mine even though I spend a lot more time on mine. (Eyes rolling.) But I consider myself lucky compared to you, since it's not really my family and they live half way across the country. icon_smile.gif Good luck! And I hope this doesn't cause drama at the next family get-together!

tonedna Posted 6 Dec 2010 , 6:56pm
post #22 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by shelly-101

indeydebi......i didn't say there was a problem i have the right to feel upset. she has never wanted to decorate cakes before until she found out i was doing it she was doing some sort of thing with vinyl the decorative stuff that you put on walls last i knew and was doing well at it, she comes here for craft fairs and does good so i thought good for her but it didn't make me want to go buy one. i just feel like what if i would have went and bought a vinyl cutter and started to do the same thing she was already doing i think she would have been pissed at me. that's the problem and that's your opinion. i understand that i can't tell her to stop decorating cakes because that's my thing but i do have the right to feel the way i do and be a smidge bit upset.





I am with Indy on this..Let her do whatever she wants and concentrate in your work. Go for quality. People will always want a good quality of cake. If someone feel they have to go 2 hours to find someone to make them a cake, its usually because they like the cake and decoration of that person.
People dont go to such extremes unless its worth it.

So don't worry about her and work on your shop, your skills, your cakes and that is the best advertisement you will ever have.

~The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves. ~

Edna icon_smile.gif

enchantedcreations Posted 6 Dec 2010 , 7:07pm
post #23 of 36

Shelly, I get what you're saying..... I have a slightly similar situation also. lots of my friends get to gether for various things. After several years of doing this, we know what everyone's 'specialty" is. Mine is cakes. (not necessarily the decorated ones LOL) But for some reason about two months ago, three of these "friends" were just carrying on about some cupcakes one of them had made and how wonderful they were and they were the best cupcakes they had ever eaten. This particular cupcake baker is always complaining she hates to bake, so I thought it very odd she had baked them. Now it's the holiday season and we're getting ready for our annual Christmas party and this same woman signed up to bring a cake!!!! I've always made the cake. And she knows that. So something is amiss. These same woman call me when they want a cake for something special, so I don't know what their up to. But that's okay, cause I'm making pies that will knock their socks off.

BTW, you're cakes are wonderful.

jenmat Posted 6 Dec 2010 , 7:16pm
post #24 of 36

If you are looking at this situation personally, and this cousin is someone you've had a history with, then of course you would feel threatened and very annoyed.

Point is, Indy was looking at it as a business, which is what you should do after you throw your little tantrum. And I WOULD be throwing a tantrum myself, I have "one of those" cousins, and if she ever did something similar, I would be throwing a tantrum up one side and down the other.

Once that was over and I was done stomping my foot through the floor, I would suck it up, grow up and realize that in the end, I need to treat my business as a business and take the personal out of it.

And that is what you should do too.

Easier said than done, but there it is.

cakenovice2010 Posted 6 Dec 2010 , 7:44pm
post #25 of 36

Several years ago I got an idea to open up a baby store, someone opened one up before I finished my business plan. It was small, very upscale and the customer service was terrible. I opened up one block away in the building I owned. I set up, made sure I had top notch customer service and I NEVER bad mouthed the other business. They closed shop a year later after bad mouthing me to death to customers and friends and people we knew mutually in town. I tried to work with her but she had it stuck in her craw that I had copied her business (and trust me I was completely different).

I was really hurt when I discovered her comments, but I brushed it off and started ignoring everything I heard. I worked on building the best and biggest business I could. When I decided to sell I sold to one of my competitors in a neighbouring town 45 minutes away, I continue to work with her and help her out and she's gained a lot of customers etc.. because we worked together.

If your cousin is doing this to copy or irritate you she will give it up soon. I would be bothered by the delivery thing as well but most people won't opt for that as it would be an extra expense they aren't willing to pay for the most part.

Get frustrated, vent and then make some [email protected] cakes and focus on what makes you happy.

shelly-101 Posted 6 Dec 2010 , 7:46pm
post #26 of 36

i do thank everyone for their input and will take each and everyone to heart. i am sure i will suck it up and get over it but for now it bothers me. thank you for those who understand how i am feeling and why it bothers me. and thanks to those who do not know why i am so bothered i will take your opinions and try to look at it a different way. i am confident in my work i really just needed to vent

chrisviz Posted 6 Dec 2010 , 7:47pm
post #27 of 36

Hi Shelly - dont let it bother you too much (and yes I can understand why it would) because your work is fabulous and I am inspired by you!

jammjenks Posted 6 Dec 2010 , 10:00pm
post #28 of 36

Trust me...she's not going to deliver too many orders 2 hrs. away before she says, "Shoo. Bump dat. Ain't no way Ima drive 2 hours to take dis dozen cupcakes to they house! Shoo."

icon_razz.gif

PrivateNameHere Posted 6 Dec 2010 , 10:25pm
post #29 of 36

I had a client decide to start doing her own cakes after getting a bunch of info from me. She advertised her business on my FB page.
I was like, wow. De-friend!

LNW Posted 6 Dec 2010 , 10:37pm
post #30 of 36

I cant imagine her selling that many cakes in your area. 2 hours is a very long way to drive for a cake. I wouldnt worry about her at all.

I can understand your frustration with her though. I have been the family cake decorator for nearly 9 years now. I always make the cake. Always. My newly single brother-in-law threw together a birthday party for his sons 9th birthday and was afraid to ask me to do the cake so last minute so he made one himself. He freehanded the most amazing racecar on the top of the cake. I thought hed used a stencil and was totally blown away when I found out he had drawn it himself. The rest of the family was blown away too. I guess we made such a huge fuss hes decided he wants to start decorating cakes. I dont know that hes going to go all out with it the way I have but Ive been told by various family members that he wants to start doing it. I know hes not trying to push me out or ruffle my feathers and I am perfectly happy to share the spotlight with him. But Id be lying if I said it didnt bother me even a tiny bit when I heard what he wanted to do. So I get that part of it.

In your case though shes 2 hours away. Shes also a beginner and youre a very talented, seasoned pro. I wouldnt even consider her competition.

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