People treat us how we allow them to treat us -
Thats the short and sweet of it.
Good grief - say no up front and don't let them think your fine with everything.


Bluehue

Do me a favor chefjess and be careful with this one. I can see you making everything for her, charging only $50, having her come back and complain about some minute thing, and demanding a refund. Since you arent licensed you can lose so much by just not giving in to her, so you do, like so many other unlicensed bakers out there.

Sometimes friends and acquaintances are the worst people to do business with and you are better off dealing with strangers.

(Just an idea - should you still be considering going forward with this)

Dear friend and friend of friend,

I appreciate you wanting to help me with doing your wedding cake and a grooms cake. There is so much involved and I want to help. Please keep in mind that a custom cake takes a tremendous amount of work and untold hours of labor, therefore this is what I need from you in order to be able to help you out on your special day.

1. I will make a shopping list for you and I need for you to go out and purchase every item on the list. Please keep in mind that I realize that you may not understand all that goes into a cake, so please do not skip anything on the list as it's vital to my being successful in making your wedding cake, and know that the needed items will not be found in one just one store. If you miss anything, I will need you to go back to the store and buy the required items and deliver them to me by (date).

2. It takes a great deal of time in creating the design itself and therefore we absolutely must have a get together to work on a design idea, both for what you would like to have and what I can effectively create for you. Here are the 3 times and dates I have available to get together with you

a.

b.

c.

If we can't work this out, then I'm sorry but I would not even consider putting you into a situation where I don't feel I can adequately create the cake that you would want for your wedding, so at that point I would say you'd have to get your cake from someone who could make it for you in the time remaining.

3. As for a groom's cake, that would have to be discussed and the design agreed upon at this same meeting so we know what can and cannot be accomplished by myself within the time period required to do both cakes for you.

4. Please respond back to me by such and such a date to give me the meeting time you can make, to acknowledge that you will be able to get all the shopping done that will be rquired and so I know you want to move ahead with this so I don't make other plans for the times stated above.

I am doing what I can to save you money and give you the wedding cake of your dreams, but in order to accomplish that, it will require alot of hard work on all our parts. Please be sure you are up to the time and energy required on your part since I know how busy it can get planning a wedding. If you find you can't make the committment of time, etc., to this, please don't think I will be offended if you have to go elsewhere to order your cake.

Sincerely,

After looking at your cakes, it appears as though YOU are excited that someone has appreciated your work and actually wants a real, honest-to-god wedding cake from YOU! Whoopee! Yippee! Someone wants ME to do a wedding cake! That's all great and I'm not making fun of you because that is a big compliment to your cake talent. However, with that said, this "friend of a friend" [read: stranger!], is NOT working with you for YOUR talent--she is working with you because you are CHEAP!!!!! You don't know her, she will never be a part of your life after you provide cheap cake, and you will most likely NOT be invited to the wedding.

How bad do YOU want to do this cake, and why? You owe nothing to these people. If your desire to "do a wedding cake" overrides every other consideration, then follow cownsj excellent advice exactly and put in dates that are at YOUR convenience, NOT the brides.

You already know you should walk away, and everybody is telling you to walk away. Now it's up to you. Anything you decide from here is on you, so no griping if it goes horribly wrong. And whether or not you decide to go ahead, or to cancel, you need to do it no later than December 15.

Sorry--repost error.

Uh...I don't even turn on my oven for $40.00....and that is the cost for 13 cupcakes...Gee whiz.I'd be saying...NO WAY!!!

I keep thinking about this, and I realize that once you give them the job of shopping; you know the "work" part of it and not the "fun" part of making the cake, I would be expecting them to question why they have to do the shopping part. To that I would reply that you are already giving her 30 (or however many) hours of free labor; oh, and btw how much do you (the bride to be) get paid for working 30 hours? And that you just do not have any more time than that to devote to making a free cake for her. Again, you understand if she cannot fulfill that part of it, but in that case, she would need to go to another baker because you just do not have anymore time to devote to this.

Oh crap, just tell them both to get lost..... LOL

I'm not "pro" either...I've been paid for a couple of wedding cakes...which were SUPER stressful to do...and I give A LOT away..But you CANNOT sell yourself short like this...$50.00 covers nothing...your original $80.00 wouldn't cover it either...this would be giving them a pretty hefty wedding gift...and as previous posters have said,you'll probably have problems with them all the way through...I just refused an order from "a friend of the sister of a friend of my daughter's husband"...Don't know them,and didn't want the headache...it was last minute...DO NOT let yourself be taken advantage of!!!

She's taking advantage of you. Put an end to it now.

In all honesty, at this point, I would tell her that it's become to big of a hassle and you no longer can do it. She just doesn't want to pay for a wedding cake and she's using you. Stand up for yourself and just walk away. This will be one headache after another and you will end up hating this cake and hating ever doing it.

I think you are a very kind and caring person; just make sure that you are kind and caring to yourself. I agree that you should walk away from this one very quickly.
Cake decorating for me is a very pleasurable hobby. My cakes are made only for those I truly care about and I never charge; they are a gift and the recipients are always grateful. I don't have or want the pressures and demands of a business.
If you are running a business then I think you need to make it financially viable; at least you're getting something back for any stress involved. If you want to do a favour, and only ever for people who truly warrant a favour from you, then is the time to make that detailed price list and make it quite clear that you are charging only for your costs as a special favour.
Good luck!
Cher

wow, really? I'd just say Thank you for the compliments on my work and I'm flattered that you'd like me to help, but I can't. You are getting s-c-r-e-w-e-d on that deal. $50 for a huge cake plus a free groom's cake? No way in heck would I do that even for my MOTHER!

Don't just walk- run away from this situation. It's okay to say "no thank you." My 3 year old says it all the time.

I strongly feel if you go through with it that it'll end up worse than it is now and you'll wish you never did it. It's people like that who usually complain about something and demand their money back. And if you do go through with all this, she'll already know how to work you to get that money. So many people on CC throw their hands up in surrender because they don't want to deal with these kinds of people. It is so sad to watch! This girls sounds like one of those. And if you are having a hard time standing up to her now, it could be much worse later.

Just walk away from this. Does she know if her venue will accept a cake from an unlicensed decorator? If you still want to do this, you need to let her know what will be provided for $50.00 and if she wants anything else, she will be charged accordantly.

She is taking advantage of you and you are letting her. It's not worth it.

thanks everyone for the advice. i'm going to do what ya'll have said and let her know exactly how things are going to go if she wants a cake from me. i know i probably come across as extremely nieve...i have no idea how this got so evolved...the original design she wanted was so easy i could do it with my eyes closed. bc on a 3 tier cake w ribbon and a shell border...no biggie. but now she keeps changing her mind on what she wants. yes, i would love to do a wedding cake, but this one is seeming to be more a hassle than a hobby already, and i havent even started baking...time to boot it, i guess.

Good luck with it chefjess...I understand completely, and I think most of us have BTDT at least once in our lives! I even feel for it from a very good friend last year!

The reason why it has gotten to this point and you don't know why is that your friend and her buddy are smooth operators. They know how to play you, and other potential suckers.

IMHO, maintain your dignity girl. If anything you should be insulted at what they are 'offering'. Hold your head up high and simply say, "Sorry - I can't do it. Something came up." Smile and walk away.

Respect is far more important than being buddies with someone who wants to take advantage of you. And please don't think I am being harsh...its just that I have been in your shoes and it really stinks when you get used and ripped off.

(((hugs))) and good luck sweetie!

Good luck Chef Jess, we have all had to learn this lesson in the beginning, generally the hard way.

I actually tell friends who I decide to do cakes for (there are many I decide not to do cakes for) but I tell them to pay me "whatever" they want. Sometimes I give them an idea of supply costs, and time involved, but most of my friends know what goes into my cakes.

I delivered a very nice 8" red velvet yesterday to a friend for a baby shower, I told her to pay me "whatever". Sweetheart that she is, she wrote me a check for $150, and apologized for the amount being so low, feels indebted to me for making this cake, and thanked me profusely. How lucky am I!

Truthfully I would have charged a non-friend more than that, but for a friend rate, it was a very kind and appreciated amount. Now this doesn't work with everyone.

This chick you've got...shoot, drop her like a hot potato. You are suddenly booked. You can't change stupid or rude people. If she is not thrilled beyond belief at that offer, she is dumber than dumb.

I know within 30 seconds of a conversation if I'm going to do a cake for someone, or if I'm going to send them on their way. Don't worry, you will learn how to guide the conversation after a while, I'm sure you learned a ton today, it gets easier, way easier.

I think a lot of ingredients are much cheaper in the US than in the UK... but I costed out how much it cost me to make a 12" square for my dad (I was doing it at cost price for him...) But surely they can't be THAT much cheaper, can they?

It cost me a pennies over £40 if you include all the ingredients, the marzipan, the sugarpaste, the butter and icing sugar for the filling, the jam for the filling, the cake board, the cake box, the ribbon....

I wouldn't do the 8" square for $50 (roughly £30).

I'm sure at some point we've ALL under-quoted and then regretted it... but please don't do the cake for such a low amount!! You'll begrudge every moment you spend working on it... and cakes can tell when they're not loved! They don't like it! You'll always dislike this cake if you do it for $50

I know you would probably rather bake and decorate the cake in your own kitchen, but after you hand out the shopping list I might consider doing the baking at my friend's house using her electricity, soap, etc.

not a bad idea sweettreasures. if they decide to get their heads out the ostrich hole and realize how much goes into a cake, then i might just do that. lol.

update: she decided to go with a walmart bakery cake b/c she wants a "professional" to do her cake, so there wont be any mistakes. rofl...since when did walmart hire professionals? then she had the nerve to ask the mutual friend if i would do the grooms cake. i said sure. $30.

And she still is going to pay more than 50 for her cake!!!! Gotta love it

Gotta love those professional, freshly baked cakes from Walmart.

This is my rule. If I feel persuaded by someones story and feel like I really want to give them a heavily discounted cake as a gift of my talent, then they have virtually no say. They can tell me if they are allergic to or hate a flavor (I don't want to make chocolate cake for a bride allergic to chocolate), the colors and the general theme of their wedding. (black and white classic simple... pink and green, spring...) And then I just make them whatever I want. They don't get to approve a sketch, they get a custom designed super awesome cake for like $1.50 a serving, and I get to add to my portfolio however I want.

Ah yes, the Walmart wedding cake. Not to say they're all like this one, but I walked past this for a couple of weeks before I couldn't take it anymore and had to take the photo! Buyer beware, what you get from the big box stores randomly depends on the skill of the decorator working the day that your cake happens to be decorated! http://acaketorememberva.blogspot.com/2010/03/another-potential-wedding-disaster.html