Fired For The First Time!

Lounge By kaseynh Updated 3 Dec 2010 , 2:44am by retaunton

kaseynh Posted 24 Nov 2010 , 4:35pm
post #1 of 32

I have been working at this office for the last 5 1/2 years. I rarely called in sick. I live with chronic pain and I will admit it has affected my job performance over the last year or so. I did submit a request along with documentation from my doctor asking for some accommodation which was approved.
In the last two months I was dropped from full-time to part-time. On Monday evening after work, I was let go. This is very frustrating for me as I have always worked all my life since the age of 14. I feel very ashamed of being let go.
In one respect I am very happy to be free of all the daily drama that is there. That in itself is very stressful. But in another I am really going to miss interacting with the public. I am not able to start another job due to complications of chronic pain. I have such a difficult time adapting to change.
Does anyone have any suggestions for me? I started my cake business and have had a few orders. I have worked like crazy to get my name out there. I just need to find a way to be motivated.

Thanks for listening!

31 replies
-K8memphis Posted 24 Nov 2010 , 4:52pm
post #2 of 32

Watch out for depression. It's really a blow to get canned. I changed jobs due to a workmans comp issue that got so complicated. So new job and for training on the new job the new people would feed me fish rather than show me how to fish--y'know that old adage? They were patronizing and I said to a co-worker, "blablabla I'm gonna find another jobbecause this one is impossible" is what I meant.

So big pow wow with boss--did I really say that--yes I did but...no buts mbubye. Oooh I was pissed! I felt ashamed too. Was not a good fit. It was a real estate office and I everytime I see their signs in someone's yard I think about it. grr

So yeah I had the injury from the workmans comp thing to deal with still have it and then no job. So it sucks. And depression is almost a sure thing so prepare for it.

My motivation like I said in a recent post is to ride my bike--now indoors on a trainer till the warmer weather returns. Get active is my thing.

KittyPTerror Posted 24 Nov 2010 , 5:47pm
post #3 of 32

Oh that is such a bummer! I'm so sorry to hear about that- and right before the holidays! One of the things I have trouble with a lot is trying to remember not to personalize things. Maybe they didn't fire you because of any part of your performance- maybe it had nothing to do with you. As much as it seems like it has to be personal, so many times these things just aren't.

One of the brighter sides to being laid off around the holidays is that the baking business is booming. I don't know what you've already done to get your name out there, but I might be tempted to even put up fliers at grocery stores- can you make pies, breads, rolls, cookies, as well as cakes? People might not be thinking that they want a cake at their holiday gathering, but who wouldn't rather have a homemade pie than a grocery store one? I bet you could clean up.

Cheers to new opportunities! Bigger and better things are in store for you!

-K8memphis Posted 24 Nov 2010 , 5:57pm
post #4 of 32

The intension of being personal or not is never a valid point to me when the result is. Just saying.

indydebi Posted 24 Nov 2010 , 6:50pm
post #5 of 32

fired? layed-off? downsized? each of those has a different meaning and should be handled differently on a resume.

Fired: the employee did something wrong and was dismissed "for cause".

Layed-off: business is temporarily slow and the company is temporarily putting some folks in the unemployment line, with a tentative plan for a recall, eventually.

downsized: the business experienced a downturn in business and no longer has a need for the same number of people. There is not a plan to recall the employee but the employee is out of a job thru no fault of theirs (i.e. as in the "fired" definition.)

-K8memphis Posted 24 Nov 2010 , 6:56pm
post #6 of 32

Laid off is not necessarily temporary. One would hope it is temporary but often it is permanent. And you have to operate as if it is permanent.

indydebi Posted 24 Nov 2010 , 6:58pm
post #7 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by -K8memphis

Laid off is not necessarily temporary. One would hope it is temporary but often it is permanent. And you have to operate as if it is permanent.


totally agree. They tend to call that "indefinite lay off". icon_biggrin.gif But the "definition" of the 3 tend to be 3 different things and thus require 3 different ways to address with potential employers.

-K8memphis Posted 24 Nov 2010 , 7:03pm
post #8 of 32

I've been laid off twice that I recall and they never called me back nor called it anything but definitely out of work sol laid off. And the only indefinite was where's my next gig. icon_biggrin.gif Different strokes & all that.

And don't it just suck to be suddenly out of work.
Gut wrenching.

cakesbycathy Posted 24 Nov 2010 , 8:37pm
post #9 of 32

You need to find out if you qualify and can apply for disability based on your medical situation.

-K8memphis Posted 24 Nov 2010 , 9:03pm
post #10 of 32

You can apply for unemployment and dispute the grounds of the firing through your local unemployment office. Just have your stuff together --oftentimes either the former employee or the former employer will not have their act together--and the side that's prepared will prevail--in my state they do a telephone 'meeting' or interview and then render a decision. It's worth a try.

Texas_Rose Posted 24 Nov 2010 , 9:28pm
post #11 of 32

Definitely file for unemployment. You gave them five years of your life, take the six months of unemployment that you can get and enjoy it. I know it varies by state, but in TX all my husband had to do was five job search activities a week...and filling out applications online or emailing potential employers was considered a job search activity.

You might see about getting social security disability. Lots of paperwork involved in that and I think most people have to get a lawyer to get it done, but if you can't work, then that's what disability was created for.

About the cakes and getting your name out there, do you have kids in school? Send cupcakes or cookies to the teachers, office staff, school nurse and librarians with your business card attached to the bottom of the plate, and you'll start getting some business that way.

kaseynh Posted 25 Nov 2010 , 6:24am
post #12 of 32

Thanks for all your supportive and kind words! My husband has been amazing, we are concerned as my income dropped to half and then two months later to nothing but he reassures me we will be OK. To be clear, I was fired and the reason was he felt I was not performing the entire scope of my position. There is no recourse as it is a very small company and the state I live in is hire/fire at will. They do not have to have a reason to let a person go.
The funny thing is is this company has never fired anyone in over 25 years but in the last month he has fired three people. Also, he was not the person to fire me but had one of the doctors do it instead. She was very emotional about it and I was actually comforting her! There is a ton, and I mean a ton of drama going on there. I am glad to have that part behind me now. The stress was really getting to me. Another girl was fired via facebook the same day as me. Unbelievable! Also another girl quit the next day after he flipped out and threatened to come back with a gun! He has a very quick temper and really says some stupid things. She went to the police and reported him. I don't know what happened after that yet.
I have made samples and delivered them around town. I have done some direct mailings to area venues and have introduced myself to as many people as possible. I have given out a ton of business cards as well. I'm sure I will be able to bring in more business.
I am going to have to apply for disability as I know I will not be able to hold down another job. I am able to do cakes because I can work around my pain levels. I would never be able to take on more than one cake a week. I attend a chronic pain support group weekly and that is the one thing I make sure I do!

Kiddiekakes Posted 25 Nov 2010 , 2:12pm
post #13 of 32

Wow..It seems so easy to fire an employee in the US..Here in Canada it can prove to be very difficult to get rid of someone even when they want to..You have to have 3 written documentations first before they can fire etc...otherwise Employment Canada will be on you like a hot potato.You can't just fire because but ..Yes..They can lay off at will etc.But they cannot rehire another outside person if the same job becomes available but we all know they have ways aound it.We also can collect UI for almost 1 year.

Here's to getting your cake decorating business going!!!You go Girl!!


Happy Thanksgiving!!!

indydebi Posted 25 Nov 2010 , 2:32pm
post #14 of 32

had you applied for time off under the Families with Disabilities Act? I am not well versed in this, but I do have a friend who had some severe health issues (including cancer) that kept her away from work excessively, so she filled out all the paperwork for FDA Leave. I was surprised to learn that a person doesn't have to take a whole "leave" all at once, like I thought it was (thinking maternity leave type of thing). If she was gone 2 days a week for 5 weeks for something tied in with her illnesses, it was covered.

They fired her for attendance and she contacted a lawyer about unlawful discharged under FDA. I lost contact with her and can't tell you how it turned out, but I do recall her telling me that her attorney was super optimistic because of the bad way the company documented and handled everything.

kaseynh Posted 25 Nov 2010 , 2:56pm
post #15 of 32

Debi, he employs under 15 ppl so I am not able to qualify for it. He is an ex-politician, a doctor and is very well known in the area. He had talked to his lawyer before making me part-time and then firing me so he has all his i's dotted and t's crossed.
I am sure this happened because life holds something better for me. It is just going to stink working through all the emotional stuff first. Depression, questioning self worth, shame are all things I need to work through. I'm gonna get through it, it is just a matter of time!

-K8memphis Posted 25 Nov 2010 , 3:34pm
post #16 of 32

I started working on me when I got laid off from one of the best jobs ever. I could not walk well from the arthritis and I got some Zumba tapes (way early on when they first came out) and you know how that when you have chronic pain 'exercise' is a four letter word! Yeah had to suck one that up.

So I put powder on the floor to keep my shoe from catching on the floor because it could shoot ripples of muscle spasms all up & down. But I practiced next to the bed in case I slipped on the powder!!! icon_lol.gif

So it really really really does help me. I have worked it up over the years to where I can ride my bike 25k. That sounds so much farther than 12 miles!!! But I mean 12 miles is a lot for a cane weilding arthritic.

You are not alone and the holes in the leaky boat we're in can be plugged up. This is one of my favorite sayings--"Never despair, but if you do, work on in despair." Edmund Burke

And I think your lowered stress levels will bring about an improvement in your health. <heart>

Caterpillars may grieve the loss of their legs but the emergent butterfly takes off in flight.

kaseynh Posted 25 Nov 2010 , 4:00pm
post #17 of 32

Thank you K8memphis! I know I will become a better me because of this. I told my husband I'm taking the dog and my walking stick out for some exercise. We are going to get walkie talkies (no cell service) so if I should fall, I can notify him. He works 3rd shift and sleeps through the day. Otherwise, he would walk with me.

-K8memphis Posted 25 Nov 2010 , 4:02pm
post #18 of 32

You GO, GIRL!!!!!!!!!

luvmysmoother Posted 25 Nov 2010 , 4:08pm
post #19 of 32

You are being very cool and honest about the situation and not making excuses. You have a strong attitude despite the medical problems. Just keep doing what you're doing and you'll land on your feet in no timeicon_smile.gif

kaseynh Posted 25 Nov 2010 , 4:24pm
post #20 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by luvmysmoother

You are being very cool and honest about the situation and not making excuses. You have a strong attitude despite the medical problems. Just keep doing what you're doing and you'll land on your feet in no timeicon_smile.gif




Thank you! I try to keep a strong attitude (it wavers at times) I have never asked why me, why did I end up with chronic pain. Instead I ask why not! It only makes me stronger and teaches me to appreciate what live has to offer more!

retaunton Posted 26 Nov 2010 , 10:06pm
post #21 of 32

Still try for unemployment, you have nothing to lose. All they can say is no. Be sure to explain about your doctor approved and recommended reduced work load and the stress of working there and the type of person he is. How he treats people before and since you left.

dchockeyguy Posted 28 Nov 2010 , 6:44pm
post #22 of 32

It's worth looking into Unemployment, honestly. You've paid into it for years, so if you need it, there's nothing wrong with getting some assistance from it.

I have been fired once and let go twice due to mergers. One time I saw it coming. The other two times it was a total shock. It was really tough on me the first time. I was a total wreck, as I had just come back from vacation and was told "You don't work here anymore" (Exact quote from my boss at the time.. .the jerk).

However, I will say this: In the long run, it has really helped out. I ended up in a new job each time, and the situation tended to be better than it had been before. So while it didn't seem it at the time, I think each time it was really a blessing in disguise.

kaseynh Posted 28 Nov 2010 , 7:06pm
post #23 of 32

Thanks for the advice and kind words. I am still weighing all my options. I am really going to miss a few of the people I worked with. Even though I knew it was coming, it still hits hard! icon_sad.gif

indydebi Posted 28 Nov 2010 , 7:43pm
post #24 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by dchockeyguy

It's worth looking into Unemployment, honestly. You've paid into it for years, so if you need it, there's nothing wrong with getting some assistance from it.


Actually, the employer foots 100% of the unemployment bill. The employee pays nothing to the unemployment fund.

But ...... there is no question about applying for unemployment. Honestly, I'm not sure why this is even questioned about applying for it or not. Lose your job on Monday and apply for it on Tuesday. It's almost an automatic thing, when the employer tells you "bye bye". (If someone quits, that's a whole different issue.)

-K8memphis Posted 28 Nov 2010 , 8:01pm
post #25 of 32

Debi, if you are fired for cause or quit you are not eligible. But you can appeal it and get a 'hearing'--they are conducted over the phopne here. Some employers on purpose do not dispute it so you get it by default. Some employers fight back.

edited to say--it's federally funded and then dispersed by each state according to that state's rules & regulations.

edited again to say--I mean the new extensions are federally funded. Yes employers pay it and they have to pay more if unemployment rates increase.

indydebi Posted 28 Nov 2010 , 8:13pm
post #26 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by -K8memphis

Debi, if you are fired for cause or quit you are not eligible. But you can appeal it and get a 'hearing'--they are conducted over the phopne here. Some employers on purpose do not dispute it so you get it by default. Some employers fight back.

edited to say--it's federally funded and then dispersed by each state according to that state's rules & regulations.

edited again to say--I mean the new extensions are federally funded. Yes employers pay it and they have to pay more if unemployment rates increase.



There's also a term called "constructive termination" where they set it up so that you have the choice of being fired or quitting. Some places do this with the idea that the person cannot collect unemployment because "they quit", but when hubby went thru one of his downsizings, one of the questions on the form he had to fill out was about whether he was given the choice of quit or fired .... so the unemployment office recognizes whats going on.

I had to send in a quarterly check to the "Workforce Development" department, as an employer, for my "unemployment bill", based on claims and other factors in the formula. (As a matter of fact, I'm STILL getting those and have to keep sending them a notice of "Hell-OHHHHH!!! I'm CLOSED!!!!! Here's a copy of the notice my accountant sent hou!!!")

-K8memphis Posted 28 Nov 2010 , 8:34pm
post #27 of 32

Indiana has all these terms that Tennesseans are not familiar with because the plans are managed by the state although the feds regulate it. So it's a nathionwide thing that has 50 different disbursement plans.

We don't have constructive termination we don't have the indefinite one you said before. It's different state to state, Indy.

And our op is in New England somewhere--so you & me are both full of... icon_lol.gif

But the getting fired and/or quitting make you ineligible everywhere although you can appeal here in TN anyhow. Indiana probably calls it 'oh we know you got fired but you can still get your constructive money indefinitley until it terminates statute'

icon_lol.gif

indydebi Posted 28 Nov 2010 , 8:36pm
post #28 of 32

icon_lol.gif k8, you're so right! heaven forbid the gov't come up with a plan that makes it easy and consistent for everyone!!! icon_lol.gif

-K8memphis Posted 28 Nov 2010 , 8:41pm
post #29 of 32

For real!! icon_lol.gif

retaunton Posted 28 Nov 2010 , 8:59pm
post #30 of 32

If the situation/atmosphere was untenable, even if she got let go (fired) she may still be able to collect unemployment. It is all how you approach it. She may even have some rights regarding the Disability Act. It never hurts to ask, even if they say no, go through the appeals process. They may end up saying yes. A little money coming in is better than nothing. If it was me I would consult a labor lawyer. It sounds to me as if the employer was intimidating and is hoping she will do nothing.

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