Need Advice Please :(

Lounge By lbain Updated 15 Nov 2010 , 3:09am by paulina69

lbain Posted 10 Nov 2010 , 4:58am
post #1 of 5

Hello All!

So I'm about to graduate college and my boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 years now. We are so madly in love although he currently lives out of town and I only get to see him every weekend. Well the dilemma is that he is going to umpiring school in January for 6 weeks and once out of umpiring school if he gets a job he will be gone 6 months (baseball season) out of the year, pretty much every year...for well...forever.

I always support him in whatever but reality set in for me today. I realized that he wouldnt be able to see me graduate college, or move into OUR first apartment, or when we decide to have kids or get married, will he even be able to be there when i give birth, or help me plan things. I would never break up with him, but I can't help but cry just to think about all that he will miss.

I know I am being selfish, but this will affect me so much. I know this is his dream, and I should support him in whatever, but its so hard!

What do i do??

4 replies
JanH Posted 10 Nov 2010 , 6:41am
post #2 of 5
Quote:
Originally Posted by lbain

I would never break up with him, but I can't help but cry just to think about all that he will miss.

I know I am being selfish, but this will affect me so much. I know this is his dream, and I should support him in whatever, but its so hard!

What do i do??




It appears that you're already committed...

Sometimes the only thing we can control/change is our attitude. Things may not be as bad as you'e anticipating.

Are you sure umpires don't get any vacation time during their 6 months working? (And what's to prevent you from driving or flying to see him, he can't work 24 hours a day.) And there's always the phone. You can say good morning/good night to each other every day!

And if he only works for 6 months, that must mean he's not umpiring for 6 months... Couldn't you plan your baby's birth for the start of the 6 months he's off.

There are many men and women serving in our military who are deployed for six months (or more) at a time, and while not the ideal arrangement for married/family life - it's not impossible.

When deployed my son keeps in touch with his wife and daughter via computer. My DIL also posts videos so that he could see how his daughter is growing up.

Here's an (hour long audio) interview with umpire, Hunter Wendelstedt:

http://www.jimmyscottshighandtight.com/node/633

HTH

LaurenLuLu Posted 12 Nov 2010 , 10:18pm
post #3 of 5

It should be him crying thinking about all that he'll miss and maybe modify his dreams to compromise. Honestly though, things have a way of working out. I was an army wife for years and between the deployments and field exercises there was a lot of time physically spent apart. Through talking and writing though, sometimes that alone brings people closer together than sitting side by side ever could.

cabecakes Posted 12 Nov 2010 , 11:16pm
post #4 of 5

It would be a difficult relationship, but not an impossible relationship. My daughter was in the military, and she and her husband managed to keep in touch. My all of today's modern technology it is easier then ever. Facebook brings people together from all over the world everyday. Just look on here...there are people from nearly any country imaginable...yet we talk to them like they are sitting directly across the table from us. I just love my cakecentral buds. When I lost my internet for a while, I was lost for that commerodery. I know that may sound wierd, but believe me, you can still get close to people you have never even met. Go for it...if you really love each other, it will work itself out. And I don't think either of you are being selfish...this is what convinces me that it will work out.

paulina69 Posted 15 Nov 2010 , 3:09am
post #5 of 5

Sometimes loving someone can really hurt so much. But if you both really love each other so much, you can always find ways to make the relationship work. Think of this as something that will make your relationship stronger. Believe it or not, but regardless of the distance, if two people trusts and loves each other that much, things will always work out. Have faith and be positive, you also need to grow individually. Hard as it seems, but it's true. icon_smile.gif

Quote by @%username% on %date%

%body%