I Am So Angry Right Now I Could Spit Nickels.....grrrr

Lounge By Kiddiekakes Updated 4 Nov 2010 , 2:36am by sexy_baker

Kiddiekakes Posted 27 Oct 2010 , 12:57pm
post #1 of 17

So for the last few weeks my SIL has phoned me looking for cake prices etc for her sister's up coming wedding...I gave her prices and I knew she wouldn't order because in the past she has never shown an interest in my work and made several comments that she would never pay my or any one elses prices for a cake.. icon_evil.gif

This morning I get an email say"Look at the cake I created for my sisters wedding last weekend"and sent 2 pictures.The cake looks okay for a beginner and someone who has never made a stacked/pillared cake before but not that great and very amatuerish...

Why am I angry...because I feel like she is throwing it in my face saying.."Here..I made this for $50.00 and it wasn't even that hard... icon_mad.gificon_mad.gif

And to boot she asked to borrow cakepans and wanted my hubby to cut her a board 15 inches round all at my expense...meaning no offer to pay for the material...It is taken everything in me not to reply back and say"And your point is"....

Hubby says leave it alone as it his brother's wife and doen't want trouble in the family but I am so angry... icon_evil.gificon_evil.gif

I am trying not to read anything more into the email except excitement that she did it but it is really hard..I want to smack the cake over her head... thumbs_up.gif

What would you reply that gets my point across and shows I am ticked but not out right rude.?

Okay..I am done now.... icon_wink.gif

Laurel thumbs_up.gif

16 replies
Cocobongo Posted 27 Oct 2010 , 1:50pm
post #2 of 17

Ooh however tempting it is to tell her where she can shove her cake, i would be inclined to reply with a 'wow well done you' email, and then next time she asks for anything, tell her she can do it herself, and your tins and husband are busy!

cakesbycathy Posted 27 Oct 2010 , 3:08pm
post #3 of 17

If your gut instinct is that she sent the email to shove it in your face then I wouldn't even bother to respond. That will drive her more crazy than if you sent back some retort (i know, I know - I'm a little passive aggressive icon_twisted.gificon_rolleyes.gif )

I wouldn't lend her any pans though, particularly if she seems inclined to take up cake decorating as her new "hobby." I would just tell her "sorry, I'm going to be using them."


indydebi Posted 27 Oct 2010 , 4:23pm
post #4 of 17

You say "Not bad for a first cake!" and then drop it.

She could just be really excited about her first cake (dont' we all remember our excitement? and don't we all remember just how bad that 1st cake was? icon_lol.gif )

It could be her way of doing the "imitation is the best form of flattery" and while she hasn't said much about your work, she may have been secretly wishing SHE was as talented, so she just wants to share her work with "the pro".

Or she could be a b*tch but you're going to take the high road! thumbs_up.gif

Kiddiekakes Posted 27 Oct 2010 , 5:28pm
post #5 of 17

Well..I replied back and wrote just what Indydebi said...Ohhh my fingers wanted to do more and type faster and furiously....I could have said so much more....

Ahhhhh...I hate family!!!

Thanks Everyone..I know you all understand.... thumbs_up.gif

BlakesCakes Posted 27 Oct 2010 , 11:06pm
post #6 of 17

I like the reply, but I'd have added something like,

"....and, of course, when there are no LABOR costs, the final price tag will ALWAYS be lower...."


"....It was so kind of you to DONATE SO MUCH OF YOUR TIME FOR FREE to your sister...............being that I RUN A BUSINESS doing this, THAT ISN'T AN OPTION FOR ME........."

She needs to understand that her decision NOT to pay you, or anyone else, "that much" for a cake means that she has decided NOT to pay you, or anyone else, a living wage for MAKING a cake.
That's fine, but it also means that she has to be willing to GIVE HER TIME AWAY and that SHE HAS NO RIGHT TO EXPECT ANYONE ELSE TO DO THAT.


indydebi Posted 27 Oct 2010 , 11:38pm
post #7 of 17

rae, I'd get the same kind of thing when people got their quote on catering: "Food doesn't cost that much!"

Oh! You wanted just the FOOD! Well, heck, darlin' I can help you out on that. Just pull your station wagon up to my back door and I'll sell you the FOOD! We'll move it from my freezer to your car and you'll be all set. Oh? You wanted it cooked? Oh, there's a cost to that! You wanted a pretty table all set up to put the cooked food on? Oh, there's a cost to that. You want pretty silver containers to serve the food out of? Oh, there's a cost to that. You want me to deliver it for you? In my van? that is covered under commercial insurance? And runs on gas? Oh, there's a cost for that.

But just the food? No problem!!

Kiddiekakes Posted 27 Oct 2010 , 11:44pm
post #8 of 17

Yeah..I know..people are idiots..Everybody forgets about labor and materials...I guess I was just really pissed since my SIL never makes compliments about my cakes..(not that I need her too) I just feel she was trying to rub it in my face that she can make a cake too and look how easy and cheap it was when I and other decoraters work so hard to justify why we charge what we do...

Rubbed me the wrong way at 6AM in the morning and to boot I had a crappy cake day too.... icon_mad.gificon_mad.gif Simple cakes I have done a millions times and I had all kinds of problems..I know why...because I was angry and upset and couldn't concentrate and made small stupid mistakes... thumbsdown.gif

I don't know why I let things like this annoy me... icon_redface.gif

Rachie204 Posted 28 Oct 2010 , 1:12pm
post #9 of 17

i agree ...take the high road. None of us like it when we find out someone is close to stepping on our toes and being able to do what we can do. I have had some issues with this lately from some people....it's hard but just suck it up and it will pay off in the end.

cabecakes Posted 29 Oct 2010 , 10:17am
post #10 of 17

The only one you have to answer to is you. You have to be able to sleep with yourself at night. Are you the "better" person to be the "bigger" person, and not stoop to her level. If she is being an A$$, she knows she's being an A$$ and apparently has no problem with it. But if you want to be a B***H, you better be prepared to wear the title. It would appear that you are better then that, or you would have already spoke your mind to her. So congratulations on being the better person.

Joannedd Posted 3 Nov 2010 , 6:53am
post #11 of 17

OMG she sounds like my sis in law , i have been decorating for 15years , (all self taught) i am now a stay at home mum and trying to start my own small business , and she just keeps on taking potential customers and not even charging them !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (oh she did a 3 day course and now calls herself a professional)

I feel she is trying to compete with me, so I can imagine just how angry you are, i just try so hard to ignore her, I know my cakes are quality cakes and do not even compare to hers and that's what matters.
Bloody sister in laws who needs them.

keep up the good work , you are better than her icon_smile.gif

Kiddiekakes Posted 3 Nov 2010 , 11:32am
post #12 of 17

Well she must have got the point because she didn't reply to my email when I wrote what Indydebi said..HA!HA! b*%$....

MalibuBakinBarbie Posted 3 Nov 2010 , 5:38pm
post #13 of 17

I think I would have had sour feelings getting that e-mail (knowing the history you provided). About a reply e-mail though, if she didn't ask a question, I don't think I would have sent any reply at all. I then would have spent a moment or two "shaking it off", telling myself it's sooooo not worth the aggravation. Your work is beautiful. (I don't have to tell you that, of course!) Anyone would be fortunate to have one of your cakes. icon_wink.gif

costumeczar Posted 3 Nov 2010 , 7:31pm
post #14 of 17

I would probably not have written anything, or if I did it would have been the not bad for a first try response. HOWEVER, I would have added "If you ever want to make any more cakes I'll be glad to teach you how to smooth out the icing the right way. And how to stack it so it doesn't lean." icon_twisted.gif

Kiddiekakes Posted 3 Nov 2010 , 9:47pm
post #15 of 17

Ha!Ha! You're evil Costumeczar....I like it.....

costumeczar Posted 3 Nov 2010 , 9:49pm
post #16 of 17
Originally Posted by Kiddiekakes

Ha!Ha! You're evil Costumeczar....I like it.....

Whaaat?? I have no idea what you mean! icon_twisted.gif I just like to be helpful.

sexy_baker Posted 4 Nov 2010 , 2:36am
post #17 of 17

Owww, you're SIL is really a pain! Just as long as you live far away from each other, everything's going to be fine. Don't let her comments bother you, it might just be her insecurities talking. The important thing is, you know what great things you're capable of regarding cakes and stuff. icon_wink.gif

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