They Want To Bring Everybody?

Business By jenmat Updated 25 Oct 2010 , 10:57am by costumeczar

jenmat Posted 21 Oct 2010 , 10:51pm
post #1 of 20

Just your thoughts before I call this bride back.
Again, trying to decide whether I be nice or stick to my guns.

This bride wants to schedule a consult/tasting for her wedding next October. I've got one spot left for her day, so I can technically do the cake.
She made a very courteous phone call and left a message that she was looking at my FAQs page and noticed that I provide tastings for up to 4 people. Her fiancee's parents and her parents are INSISTING they come to the tasting icon_rolleyes.gif

That makes 6. At my home, where I do all my tastings, I have seating for up to 6, which means I will be standing or squeezing in next to MIL or something for this thing. Bride offered to pay extra to include everyone (the tastings are usually free). She really is being good about it.

I don't like the idea of having a crowd at this tasting, because too many ideas and inputs makes for crazy bride and crazy baker. That aside, I'm sure I'm just being anal and stupid, so since my hubby ain't home, can someone tell me to suck it up??
Thanks!

19 replies
tootie0809 Posted 21 Oct 2010 , 11:09pm
post #2 of 20

I have had the same situation a few times before. I also have a maximum of 4 limit, but I have had a few times where the bride shows up with more than 4 (once without even telling me), but most of the time they are very nice about it and ask in advance if it is okay. I charge $20 for a regular tasting and if they want to bring more than that, I tell them it is $10.00 more per person but absolutely no more than 6 as I don't have seating for more than that. It's annoying, and I agree that more opinions mean more confusion, longer appointments, but if it's what they want and they want to pay for it, then I guess I'd tell ya to "suck it up." icon_smile.gif Thankfully, most clients respect the 4-person limit, so I have to be happy with that.

mrswendel Posted 21 Oct 2010 , 11:13pm
post #3 of 20

Stick to your guns! I've done that once.....and it was a nightmare! Parents "expressing" their opinions, which usually are not even close to what the bride and groom want....multiplied since there are 2 sets of parents. In my case, the bride called me a couple of days after the consult and completely changed everything that she had decided on when the parents were there.
If it is that important to them to be involved in the cake selection...maybe you could offer to do up a sample package for the parents to try at home and give their suggestions to the bride and groom ....at home. Too much chaos, especially if the parents are strong willed. JMO.

BlakesCakes Posted 21 Oct 2010 , 11:29pm
post #4 of 20

If you watch "Say Yes to the Dress", you'll see that in cases like this, "more" is NEVER merrier.............. I think even 4 is too many icon_lol.gif

I say stick to your guns, but maybe send home a small box of "leftover" samples of the bride & groom's 2 favorite combos??

I can see the 2 mothers trying to out-opinion one another.........it could get ugly.

JMHO
Rae

indydebi Posted 21 Oct 2010 , 11:41pm
post #5 of 20

One option could be offering to let her bring both mothers (no dads).

What I've done: I'd remove 2 of your chairs (to guarantee that you ONLY have seating for 4) and tell them they are welcome to bring as many as they want, but 2 of them will have to stand and they are welcome to split the samples for 4 into samples for 6, they'll just have to take smaller bites.

your policy is in place for a reason. Decision by Committee NEVER works.

Kitagrl Posted 21 Oct 2010 , 11:49pm
post #6 of 20

I agree with Indy....they can bring whoever they want but your seating and your cake amounts don't change....if they each only get a crumb, then so be it....

artscallion Posted 21 Oct 2010 , 11:52pm
post #7 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by jentreu

... Her fiancee's parents and her parents are INSISTING they come to the tasting icon_rolleyes.gif ...




Sheesh! For gosh sake, it's a business meeting for you and your client. Just because there's cake doesn't make it a party.

I like Deb's idea with the chairs. Just tell her your tasting area is too small to accommodate that many opinions..I mean people.

indydebi Posted 22 Oct 2010 , 12:00am
post #8 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by jentreu

Her fiancee's parents and her parents are INSISTING they come to the tasting icon_rolleyes.gif



Anyone else get the impression that this marriage has "interferring parents" (PLURAL!!!) written all over it?

jenmat Posted 22 Oct 2010 , 12:02am
post #9 of 20
Quote:
Quote:

Sheesh! For gosh sake, it's a business meeting for you and your client. Just because there's cake doesn't make it a party.

I like Deb's idea with the chairs. Just tell her your tasting area is too small to accommodate that many opinions..I mean people.




lol, love it!
Still haven't called her back- I had a tasting at 6.

The whole reason I say 4 is not only the opinions, but it just seems to me that squeezing everyone in around a too-small table with too-small samples screams disaster. In my imagination I hear them leaving the tasting with the moms saying, "well, her cake was good, but boy, she was sure unorganized! I felt like I was in a can of sardines! Squishing us all at the table like that! And she just seemed flustered!" (well, you would be too if you had to impress 6 people with samples for 4!) It will never be their fault that they didn't have a good experience.
But I'm thinking if I don't agree, I probably won't get the order. But its for October, last year I turned down like 10 for October. Still am torn! I need to be able to make decisions better than this. I'll chalk it up to pms. icon_razz.gif

costumeczar Posted 22 Oct 2010 , 12:03am
post #10 of 20

I'd say that I just don't have the space, and she needs to decide who she wants to bring with her. That's the honest truth based on what you say about you having to stand up during the tasting! It's not dessert, it's a business meeting. You could also offer to send some extra samples home with them if she wants to pay for extras. That way the people who don't come can still taste the cake.

indydebi Posted 22 Oct 2010 , 12:05am
post #11 of 20

I've said for a couple of years now that October is the new June, so there will be October brides coming out of the woodwork!

jenmat Posted 22 Oct 2010 , 12:08am
post #12 of 20

I agree with you deb- I have 4 tastings this week, and they are all for October. Everyone thinks the fall colors are so romantic.

all4cake Posted 22 Oct 2010 , 12:11am
post #13 of 20

Let her pick up samples for 4 and take them home with HER...they can divvy the sample into 6 or whatever and discuss and jibber jabber and nyum nyum nyum over the samples and hem and haw over designs and flavors and blah blah blah all they want at HER place. I do not even consider doing consults this far out from an event...

ETA: It was a tasting for 6 that made me decide to no longer offer tastings but to deliver samples instead. So many there that while 2 were asking questions, another 2 were discussing unrelated stuff, and the others were interjecting stuff into both conversations...crossover style while stopping briefly to "oh, are you serious?" Did you hear....?" type comments to each other....total chaos. FTS!

Karen421 Posted 22 Oct 2010 , 12:14am
post #14 of 20

I like Debi's idea on the seating for 4 and the others will have to stand. I feel bad for the bride, and I definitely see interfering parents! Kinda of strange that both Dad's want to come.

leah_s Posted 22 Oct 2010 , 12:58am
post #15 of 20

More people = disaster in the making. Four is usually too many. I always send some samples hope. Put on your best professional voice and say, "In my XX years of experience I've found that more than 4 people for a business meeting like this is just unproductive. I'll have samples for you to take home for those who have to miss our business meeting."

Keep hitting "business meeting" and get them out of the "It's a parteeeee!" mindset.

loriemoms Posted 23 Oct 2010 , 6:37pm
post #16 of 20

I have had a few tastings like this....usually I put some chairs in the corner and the dads enjoy sitting there, as they really don't want to get too involved. Some of them dont even want to taste cake!

If there just isnt ANY space, tell them Sorry, there just ISNT space, but offer them some samples to take home. I have 10.00 tasting cakes people can buy and a lot of time they buy one of those and then they can try cake in privacy.

I kind of enjoy the big crowd, as they all are excited and have lots of ideas and I get a good feel for the wedding and what the bride and groom are like. I have become like best pals with some of these moms even after the wedding! haha!

mombabytiger Posted 24 Oct 2010 , 10:35pm
post #17 of 20

Tell them they can bring as many people as they like. However, only 4 people will be sampling or talking.

jenmat Posted 24 Oct 2010 , 10:59pm
post #18 of 20

Well, update- she emailed me yesterday, and it turns out that the dads don't want to come, so we're in the clear. (yay!!)
But, funny story, I open the door to my second tasting yesterday, and you guessed it, 6 people!! (Never told me!)
BUT, the family had brought both daughters who were getting married about 4 months apart, and they both needed cakes. So I booked 2 cakes in one tasting! (and they're big ones!!)

So I guess being flexible does have its strong points. Although the poor dad and one of the grooms didn't get cake! And it was FUN!
Wouldn't want to do it on a daily basis though.

Jayde Posted 25 Oct 2010 , 1:52am
post #19 of 20

I am glad that things worked out for you Jentreu, because consults with more than 2 people are nightmares, IMO.

Before I left the bakery, we saw an increase in the amount of moms especially, sometimes dads, that were comings to consults. One was particulary nasty about what she wanted on the cake that she was paying for, and she wasnt the bride but a mother or MIL.

I think that a lot of times when it is the mother or MIL paying for the wedding, they want to exert a certain amount of control over not just the price, but the design ideas as well.

costumeczar Posted 25 Oct 2010 , 10:57am
post #20 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jayde

I am glad that things worked out for you Jentreu, because consults with more than 2 people are nightmares, IMO.

Before I left the bakery, we saw an increase in the amount of moms especially, sometimes dads, that were comings to consults. One was particulary nasty about what she wanted on the cake that she was paying for, and she wasnt the bride but a mother or MIL.

I think that a lot of times when it is the mother or MIL paying for the wedding, they want to exert a certain amount of control over not just the price, but the design ideas as well.




I find that to be true as well...

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