Attending The Wedding You Made The Cake For... Bad Idea!

Decorating By luvbuttercream Updated 19 Oct 2010 , 1:13pm by indydebi

luvbuttercream Posted 4 Oct 2010 , 10:42pm
post #1 of 38

So I have to vent... I attending my brother in laws wedding this past weekend. Of which I was a bridesmaid my kids were all in the wedding party as well as my hubby. I thought it would be a brilliant idea to make the cake and cupcakes as a gift. icon_confused.gif I have posted about this previously and how I felt overwhelmed and like I was gonna go broke... LOL. Now the wedding arrives and it was a beautiful day and the ceremony was incredible. Now onto the reception...
I know most people never see what happens to the cake and cupcakes they made for a wedding but here is the story I had to rush between the ceremony and reception to set up the cake/cupcake display which IMO looked awesome. The wedding party left for 3 hours myself included. Upon our return at 6 pm we had dinner and then everything else came the garter removal the bouquet toss. Half the people leave as we progress into the dance. Now at about 11pm the drunken bride and groom now decide to cut the cake (what a mess!) they only cut into 1 layer of the cake and then they allow everyone to grab a cupcake so because half the people had dissipated only about half of the 200 cupcakes were eaten!!.
I was bitter maybe unreasonably so but I felt unappreciated for all my hard work which took approx. 20 hrs of man hours to do.

Sorry for the rant but no one else seems to feel my pain. Here are some photos:


http://cakecentral.com/modules.php?name=gallery&file=displayimage&pid=1820295


http://www.cakecentral.com/modules.php?name=gallery&file=displayimage&pid=1822573⊂=1822575

37 replies
debster Posted 4 Oct 2010 , 10:53pm
post #2 of 38

Lovely work, I feel your pain. Lately what they have been doing here in Ohio is as soon as they dance first they cut the cake then eat and have the cake then party. I can't tell you in years past how much cake has been wasted cause they wait tooooooo late to cut it.

yummy_in_my_tummy Posted 4 Oct 2010 , 10:54pm
post #3 of 38

I TOTALLY know how you feel! I just made the cutest (IMO) Cinderella cake this weekend (I had a total of three cakes and I'm exhausted). I put a TON of time and effort into the cake for my neice's daughters 4th birthday. She told me 30 kids and 30 adults were expected. Maybe 25 showed up so there was tons of extra cake. I heard my sister-in-law telling another mom that she could take the leftover cake home! I mean REALLY?! On one hand, I'm glad it was going to all get eaten, but on the other hand, that cake took me 20+ hours and all of the supplies and money I put into that thing... unbelievable!

I feel your pain!! icon_smile.gif

abra526 Posted 4 Oct 2010 , 10:57pm
post #4 of 38

I'm sorry this happened to you! It is terrible when you feel like you poured your heart into somehting, and then don't get the feedback you desired. Your pictures look wonderful, and I love your cuppies! Just remember, they probably had a million things on their minds that day, but that's no excuse for them not acting grateful. Just know that you did a beautiful job, and you should use this as a good lesson!

JustGettinStarted Posted 4 Oct 2010 , 10:58pm
post #5 of 38

I'm so sorry! It sucks to not feel appreciated and your cupcakes and cake looked amazing! I'm sure they did appreciate you, but I think it's just easy to get caught up in everything. At least you know how much love you put into it and it was a beautiful gift.

luvbuttercream Posted 4 Oct 2010 , 11:12pm
post #6 of 38

Thank you all your comments are all very uplifting icon_smile.gif

indydebi Posted 4 Oct 2010 , 11:29pm
post #7 of 38

This is why I preach and preach and PREACH about NOT waiting until the end of the night to cut the dang cake! icon_mad.gif

Here's my blog with all of my reasoning why:
http://cateritsimple.blogspot.com/search/label/cake-cutting
(Scroll down to the 2nd one "When to Cut the Cake")

cathyscakes Posted 4 Oct 2010 , 11:30pm
post #8 of 38

Since I basically make cakes for family and friends, I'm usually at the wedding and I cut the cake. I try not to let it go too long. I suggest cutting the cake. I have seen so much wasted cake, so many people leave before the cake is cut, so I gently suggest to cut the cake right after dinner.

iamcakin Posted 4 Oct 2010 , 11:32pm
post #9 of 38

Your topic says it all, been there, done that, and I couldn't agree more! icon_confused.gif

On the other hand, you have some bee-utiful photos for your portfolio icon_biggrin.gif

Rosie2 Posted 4 Oct 2010 , 11:44pm
post #10 of 38

Wow, you did a wonderful job and the setting was gorgeous. I know how much work is to do cupcakes. Sorry to hear they weren't appreciated...icon_sad.gif

SugarMoon Posted 4 Oct 2010 , 11:46pm
post #11 of 38

I think the stress alone is enough reason not to do it. lol. I made the cake for my brother's wedding. I stayed up all night and got ZERO sleep. I barely had enough time to do a sloppy 20 minute make-up job on myself. I bailed on the photographer. So there's a bunch of pictures that it's very obvious that I'm missing (I was a bridesmaid).
On the one hand, it was an honor to do something special for my best friends. Everyone there was very excited about the cake and the caterer complimented me on how easy it was to take apart (SPS system).
But on the other hand, it was exhausting, I cried alot and screamed at a bunch of people. Also - it was painful to watch the caterer serve out only 1 flavor of my multi-tiered, multi-flavored cake. By then, everyone was only interested in the cheesecake. I agree 100% that the cake should be served EARLIER. Would I do it again, though?
Absolutely.

Ivy383 Posted 5 Oct 2010 , 12:04am
post #12 of 38

I feel your pain. (Your cake is beautiful) icon_sad.gif I made a princess and the frog cake for my goddaughter this past weekend and the cake was cut so late, 1/2 of the kids had left the party. It was a 10", 6" round and 8 cupcakes. The entire 10" cake was left over cake. icon_sad.gif The friend kept the extra cake for the family that night. Some of the guest took extra home. Had I known that it was for less people I would have made a smaller cake. I spent a lot of time on that cake. icon_sad.gif

VaBelle Posted 5 Oct 2010 , 12:18am
post #13 of 38

I was just in the same situation. I was a bridesmaid in my sister's wedding, made the cookie guest favors, and made the cake. The wedding was also two hours away. They waited so long to cut the cake most of their guests had already left. My sister decided it was time to cut the cake because the room had gotten so warm the cake was starting to melt. Having a seven month old baby, I had to do most of the work in the middle of the night so I was disappointed that only the few drunken guests got to enjoy the cake.

indydebi Posted 5 Oct 2010 , 12:32am
post #14 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by VaBelle

My sister decided it was time to cut the cake because the room had gotten so warm the cake was starting to melt.


I stayed and cut most of my cakes (since I was usually the caterer, also) and I actually walked out onto a dance floor, tapped a bride on the shoulder and told her, "Darlin', half of your guests have left. You HAVE to cut this cake NOW."

I just find it the utmost action of RUDE when a bride/groom ignore their guests and DON'T serve them a dessert at the end of the meal, holding off on the part of the reception that most people look forward to more than anything, and then FINALLY serve it when many/most guests have been disappointed and have left.

Absolutely the epitome of rudeness! icon_mad.gif

luvbuttercream Posted 5 Oct 2010 , 12:33am
post #15 of 38

I was very proud of my work so in that sense I am glad I can look back and see the photos as well as it was definitely an experience to be remembered and I learned a lot. I too feel that I would do it again for family just because in the end it is bittersweet I enjoy creating beautiful things and love learning new things so I know this won't be the last...

DDiva Posted 5 Oct 2010 , 12:42am
post #16 of 38

I absolutely agree with Debi (see, I told you that you channel me-lol). The wedding cake is dessert and should immediately follow the meal. I have started telling this to my brides with the suggestion that they inform their wedding planner or designated cake server.

luvbuttercream Posted 5 Oct 2010 , 12:46am
post #17 of 38

I informed the Bride and the MOH of all of the above. I was obviously disregarded. They served the cake with the platters they brought out close to midnight (which also included dessert) I know many people that attended the wedding who mentioned that they missed the cupcakes and were disappointed. But so many people can't be expected to stay till midnight when the wedding itself started at 1pm.

cheatize Posted 5 Oct 2010 , 2:19am
post #18 of 38

An 11 hour long social function? Just shoot me now, k? LOL

Even I'M leaving before they cut the cake/serve the cupcakes. No way I'm hanging around for 11 hours.

dawncr Posted 5 Oct 2010 , 3:06am
post #19 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by luvbuttercream

I had to rush between the ceremony and reception to set up the cake/cupcake display which IMO looked awesome. The wedding party left for 3 hours myself included. Upon our return at 6 pm we had dinner





Beautiful job on the cake and cupcakes! Sorry more people didn't get to taste them.

If there were 3 hours between ceremony and reception, then what was the need for the rush?

I'm wondering if this is one of those "stealing the bride" traditions that happens in some northern locations. I'd never heard of it before, until I went to a wedding where the bridal party took a party bus to drink at several bars, for a few hours, while their guests waited for them at the reception.

The guests were starving and tired by the time the bridal party returned. In the eyes of someone not familiar with the tradition, it was rude and inconsiderate to the guests. Am I the only one who hadn't ever heard of this? Can you tell I'm still appalled at the lack of manners, tradition or not? icon_confused.gif

I suppose every culture has some sort of tradition that appears rude or inconsiderate to guests. We're just so used to them that we haven't considered doing otherwise...

Coral3 Posted 5 Oct 2010 , 12:11pm
post #20 of 38

Such a shame! - looks like you did a great job though, so at least you can still be proud of you efforts. I do feel your pain, I'd be pretty pissed off about it too...at least they ate SOME of the cake though - here's what happened when I made the wedding cake for my sister in law (Grrr!): http://cakecentral.com/cake-decorating-ftopict-694502-wedding.html+served

luvbuttercream Posted 5 Oct 2010 , 12:52pm
post #21 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by dawncr

Quote:
Originally Posted by luvbuttercream

I had to rush between the ceremony and reception to set up the cake/cupcake display which IMO looked awesome. The wedding party left for 3 hours myself included. Upon our return at 6 pm we had dinner




Beautiful job on the cake and cupcakes! Sorry more people didn't get to taste them.

If there were 3 hours between ceremony and reception, then what was the need for the rush?

I'm wondering if this is one of those "stealing the bride" traditions that happens in some northern locations. I'd never heard of it before, until I went to a wedding where the bridal party took a party bus to drink at several bars, for a few hours, while their guests waited for them at the reception.

The guests were starving and tired by the time the bridal party returned. In the eyes of someone not familiar with the tradition, it was rude and inconsiderate to the guests. Am I the only one who hadn't ever heard of this? Can you tell I'm still appalled at the lack of manners, tradition or not? icon_confused.gif

I suppose every culture has some sort of tradition that appears rude or inconsiderate to guests. We're just so used to them that we haven't considered doing otherwise...






The rush was because I was in the wedding party and was needed for pictures. There was a 3 hour 'break' because we did go on a bus and drink but also stopped at numerous destinations to do pictures this would not of been my choice if I were given the option. When we got back the hall was full of people who had been sitting for who knows how long. And the after the bride and groom were were served first I also don't feel that was very fair to the guests at the wedding. This is not a tradition it was just what was preferred by the Bride and Groom I guess.

luvbuttercream Posted 5 Oct 2010 , 12:54pm
post #22 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coral3

Such a shame! - looks like you did a great job though, so at least you can still be proud of you efforts. I do feel your pain, I'd be pretty pissed off about it too...at least they ate SOME of the cake though - here's what happened when I made the wedding cake for my sister in law (Grrr!): http://cakecentral.com/cake-decorating-ftopict-694502-wedding.html+served




I read that when you posted it I was appalled and thought that wouldn't happen to me... LOL icon_eek.gif I am so sorry I guess we are all just taken for granted sometimes.

dchockeyguy Posted 5 Oct 2010 , 1:10pm
post #23 of 38

My father was a wedding photographer for over 20 years. Sadly, that kind of situation isn't unusual. As cake people, we often don't stay to see what happens to the cake, but as a photographer (and caterer, like Debbi), you get to see it all!

PistachioCranberry Posted 5 Oct 2010 , 1:35pm
post #24 of 38

I was going to ask the same question of what happened for three hours...that's crazy to have people waiting around for that long. If I were a guest, I would have left long before the party came back. It's a shame that your cake wasn't had by all at the reception. Gorgeous cake, though.

bakincakin Posted 5 Oct 2010 , 1:55pm
post #25 of 38

I was just at a wedding this past weekend and they cut the cake and did pictures of it before they even ate dinner. Thought that was a great idea. That way it was done, and the guests could then help themselves afterward.

luv_to_decorate Posted 5 Oct 2010 , 3:02pm
post #26 of 38

My son's wedding in April was an outdoor wedding with the reception in a large covered outdoor building. After a few pictures they sent the guest to the reception area. While more pictures were being taken of the bridal party, they guest were all just sitting around at the tables. I asked the caterer if the food was ready and when they said yes, I went to the DJ and told him to announce to start the food line. It was a small outdoor wedding, but someone needed to take charge. So, I did. icon_biggrin.gif

SugarMoon Posted 5 Oct 2010 , 7:38pm
post #27 of 38

The break between wedding and reception is unavoidable from what I'm seeing and hearing. Everyone needs to shake hands with the bride and groom after the wedding, and then the photographer nabs the whole party for at least an hour. You can't take pictures before the wedding because the groom's not supposed to see the bride. I wonder how I could make my wedding as painless as possible for my guests... and I can't piece it together.
It reminds me, though, of a similar situation I was in. I attended a friend's wedding where the reception was 3 hours after the wedding. I thought it was rather excessive and my fiance and I grabbed some lunch and wandered around a mall for 3 hours. We were from out of town. What really irked me is we arrived on time for the reception, but the bride, groom and their party didn't arrive until over an hour later! I'm told that this is so people will be in anticipation of them or something like that. Either or, I'd pretty much decided to leave by then because it had been 4 hours. We were heading towards the elevators as the bridal party was coming OUT and we had to go hide behind some pillars so they wouldn't see us. Pretty funny stuff!

luvbuttercream Posted 5 Oct 2010 , 9:39pm
post #28 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by bakincakin

I was just at a wedding this past weekend and they cut the cake and did pictures of it before they even ate dinner. Thought that was a great idea. That way it was done, and the guests could then help themselves afterward.





This would of been GREAT!!! Next wedding I am totally suggesting it.

luvbuttercream Posted 5 Oct 2010 , 9:40pm
post #29 of 38

Such great stories and some not icon_sad.gif from everyone and thank you all for all the compliments as well.

cheatize Posted 6 Oct 2010 , 3:55am
post #30 of 38

I've never heard of the bridal party going out drinking before the reception while their guests wait. It sounds really self-centered to me. I attended a wedding this Summer and the guests attended a cocktail hour with light appetizers while we waited for the bridal party to have the pictures taken.

The caterer for my daughter's wedding wouldn't let anyone in the room. I arrived to find the guests standing outside in 80 plus degree weather- even my husband's 70-something grandmother! I marched into the ballroom, told the caterer to get drinks ready NOW, it was not my nor my guests problem that she wasn't ready (that's what she told me, "I'm not ready yet."). I flung the ballroom doors open and announced cheerily, "Welcome! Come in, come in! Grab a drink!" (All the guests had followed me to eavesdrop but stayed behind the doors). Later, a friend told me he was waiting for the caterer to come rolling out those doors while I kicked her *ss.

You don't keep guests waiting and you don't leave them hanging. It's one thing if the invite tells you the reception starts 3 hours later and another thing entirely to leave them waiting with nothing to do. It's rude.

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