The Principal, Really?!?!

Lounge By SueW Updated 17 Sep 2010 , 1:16am by funcakes

SueW Posted 11 Sep 2010 , 1:24am
post #1 of 22

I am sitting here livid!!!! Long story short my 5 yr old son had his first full day of kindergarten today and was sent to the principal's office icon_eek.gif That is just my first problem. NO note came home telling me, no phone call NOTHING! He finally broke down at 4:30 tonight and told me. His big offense.......marking up the side of his table with a pencil icon_eek.gif

Now let me say we have only heard awful things about his teacher but I didn't want to judge he before I got to know her. I have heard from friends and neighbors she sends kids to the principal constantly, doesn't call/write back to parents and is mean. I tried not to judge her but day 1 he is in the office icon_confused.gif

I know I sound like every other parent but he is a good boy, does that warrant a trip to the principal on DAY !, no way! I already sent and e-mail to the principal saying i want a mtg.

What is her discipline policy? No warnings, no second chances? For gods sake he didn't hit / harm anyone. Am i nuts or WTF????

21 replies
cattycornercakes Posted 11 Sep 2010 , 1:46am
post #2 of 22

I would do the same thing. I would want a meeting to find out what happened and why I didn't receive any information from the teacher about the problem. Plus I'd want to know how things will be handled going forward.

My son just started kindergarten too. They have a system in kindergarten - on the board there is a green, yellow and red area. Each child has a frog with their name on it. If the do something wrong - don't follow directions, etc. - the are moved into the yellow area..and if it continues, they move into the red area. My son came home the first day with a yellow and red report. But you get a report every day saying whether they were green, yellow or red. You have to sign the yellow and red reports and send them back. I've also been in contact with my son's teacher via email about his behavior and we work together on corrections. His problem this week was putting his hands on his classmates during recess. In any case, we have very good communication.

Texas_Rose Posted 11 Sep 2010 , 2:01am
post #3 of 22

My oldest daughter had a really mean kindergarten teacher. The teacher kept telling me that my daughter was too immature for kindergarten and that she had a learning disability. Val cried every morning when she went to school, and she told me every day that she didn't want to go because something was going to happen to her and no one would care. The teacher told me it was my fault for not putting her in daycare so she could grow out of it. I should have known there was more to it. It took my daughter coming home with both lips split open and a concussion that the school didn't notice, before I went and raised hell with the school. (before that she had come home with a bruise the size of a golf ball on her knee, a fever of 103 that no one noticed during the day, she got hit in the eye with a rock, she had a bruised neck that no one could explain to me). I thought because the school had good ratings, they would be taking good care of my kid. But that wasn't the case.

Anyhow, you should definitely talk to the principal. And if your son's problems with the teacher continue, get him moved to another class.

SueW Posted 11 Sep 2010 , 2:13am
post #4 of 22

oh my gosh Texas_Rose that is just awful! It makes me so mad that there could be such a thing as " a mean kindergarten teacher". These are little kids learning how to make their way in the big world of elementary school icon_biggrin.gif and it makes me so mad they could be so afraid to go to school.

Anyway, like cattycornercakes said, i want to know if my child goes to the principal and have some sort of communication back and forth. It hasn't effected him yet but if she keeps it up it certainly will and that is just what I was thinking.... I'll raise heck and get his class changed! I can't seem to let this go I am so mad.

Karen421 Posted 11 Sep 2010 , 8:08pm
post #5 of 22

WOW! I am so sorry that has happen to your kids! No child should come home with bruises or go to the principal's office without explanation. You need to get this addressed as soon as possible. My daughter had a awful, mean, terrible 2nd grade teacher. She would cry and not want to go to school, come home with 3 hours of home work, then not get credit for it. The teacher would call her names and make fun of the way she would pronounce words. It was the absolute worse year ever! She actually left the 2nd grade without being able to read well. The day school ended we went to Disney World, having a great time, until - yup - we run into the teacher and my daughter actually got physically sick! Ruined that day!! It took a year, but she finally got pass it and went on to graduate HS with honors. The teacher is still teaching, but each year she has more parents requesting that their child not be placed in her class. This causes a lot of placement problems. (you would think the school would get the message!)

adonisthegreek1 Posted 12 Sep 2010 , 1:46am
post #6 of 22

Teachers who I see firsthand congregating in the halls complaining to other staff or who always have a scowl on their faces, I request that my kids not be placed in their classrooms. My wishes have been honored and I have been well pleased. I would ask right now that my son be moved to another room. Good luck.

funcakes Posted 13 Sep 2010 , 12:41am
post #7 of 22

You really need to call and get the full story before you make any requests to have your child moved from the classroom. Kids can't always verbalize what happens.
Public schools are all so different. It wouldn't be unusual for a child to go to the principal or vice principal's office without a call home at my school. Yes, if there was a discipline problem there would be a call, but our kids can ask to speak to them if they have a problem or are upset. Usually this happens during lunch and recess and during this time their feelings are hurt by another kid. Off they go to the office, get things off their chest, get a pat on the back and suggestions on how to get along better and case closed-not always a phone call home. Other schools are not so warm, open and friendly. It makes me shudder to hear about K or any other grade teacher not being compassionate and understanding. Why oh why are they teaching???? Oh, it can't be for the money! For Pete's sake-send those "teachers" off to sell shoes instead!
It also disturbs me to hear that the "traffic signal" is still being used. At my school a few teachers use it to monitor the sound level in the room- red for really quiet working, yellow for moderate talking, green for chatting time-unpacking/getting ready to leave. Having a public display of every child's behavior visible to all the classmates and to anyone coming into the room-oh that is so wrong on so many levels to me. Always, always compliment in public, correct in private. How hard is it to walk over and in a very soft voice give the kid a correction without calling attention to him/her? Plus, you all know there will be a couple of kids in every class that will get their little emblem to red right away-just to get it over with and not have to be anxious about it.
Back to your problem, enough of my rant, call the teacher first and then the principal and get all the info you can. Then you will know what needs to be done or said.

dldbrou Posted 13 Sep 2010 , 2:44am
post #8 of 22

Boy does this topic bring back memories. My son's 1st Grade teacher was a horror story. It turned out that she did not like boys. Any boys. My son is an only child and was never hyper, loud, rowdy. He was just shy and did not cause problems. He would have stomach aches and actually throw up before school because he was so scared to go to class.

Towards the end of the year we found out that she especially did not like my son because he raised his hand and corrected something she was telling the class about dinosaurs. My son was extremely versed on that subject. We also had 3 hrs of homework everyday. I eventually found out why. She did not have time to do their daily work in class because she was hell bent on teaching them how to take the end of the year test required to pass to the next grade.

When we went to school to confront the principal, all the teachers kept on congratulating us on our son. We had no idea that he scored the highest in the school on his testing. The only one that did not congratulate us was his teacher and she did not even give him a reward.

After that meeting we had him pulled out of her class. I just wished I had caught on earlier about her attitude and had him removed. To this day he tells us stories about how mean she was to the entire class of boys.

My suggestion would be to get involved and let her know that you will be documenting everything, good or bad. She is the type of person that expects these kids to sit in a desk all day and not move unless told. Get the phone numbers of other parents in the class to see if it is only your child or if she treats the entire class this way.

Karen421 Posted 13 Sep 2010 , 3:33am
post #9 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by dldbrou

Boy does this topic bring back memories. My son's 1st Grade teacher was a horror story. It turned out that she did not like boys. Any boys. My son is an only child and was never hyper, loud, rowdy. He was just shy and did not cause problems. He would have stomach aches and actually throw up before school because he was so scared to go to class.

Towards the end of the year we found out that she especially did not like my son because he raised his hand and corrected something she was telling the class about dinosaurs. My son was extremely versed on that subject. We also had 3 hrs of homework everyday. I eventually found out why. She did not have time to do their daily work in class because she was hell bent on teaching them how to take the end of the year test required to pass to the next grade.

When we went to school to confront the principal, all the teachers kept on congratulating us on our son. We had no idea that he scored the highest in the school on his testing. The only one that did not congratulate us was his teacher and she did not even give him a reward.

After that meeting we had him pulled out of her class. I just wished I had caught on earlier about her attitude and had him removed. To this day he tells us stories about how mean she was to the entire class of boys.

My suggestion would be to get involved and let her know that you will be documenting everything, good or bad. She is the type of person that expects these kids to sit in a desk all day and not move unless told. Get the phone numbers of other parents in the class to see if it is only your child or if she treats the entire class this way.




This is good advice! I wish I took action for my daughter sooner, and did not wait. We lost an entire year, but more importantly, she lost confidence in herself, and that took a lot longer to get back!!! Listen to your kids, if you have questions ask the school and don't let the school system steam roll you!

Sunflower08 Posted 13 Sep 2010 , 12:40pm
post #10 of 22

My daughter just started kindergarten this year too and I'm already having problems with the school. Her 4th day there they had signs up on the front door that no parents were allowed in the hallways anymore. So my daughter had to walk to her class room all by herself clear across the school. She was a minute late and was sent to the office for being late!! I was furious!!

saffronica Posted 13 Sep 2010 , 4:59pm
post #11 of 22

Wow, all these stories really make me grateful for my daughter's teacher. I can tell she really cares about the kids, and she WANTS parents to be highly involved -- we're allowed to just show up anytime, and she asks for volunteers to help out every day. I'm pretty sure she wouldn't be so open if she had something to hide!

Anyway, one thing I've learned from my MIL's endless bad-teacher stories is that you should always talk to the teacher first, then go to the principal if it isn't resolved; otherwise, the teacher gets resentful and might take it out on your kid in the future. Also, always have a third party (school counselor, etc.) there as a witness, otherwise it's just your word against hers. Finally, if you present the issue in a "Here's the problem my child is having, how can we fix this?" manner instead of a "You're a jerk" manner (even if you're thinking it!), you'll probably get better results. It sounds like some of the teachers mentioned in this thread are just plain awful, but in many circumstances problems are simply the result of a misunderstanding, so there's no need to be accusatory. (I'm speaking generally here, not about any specific situation.)

Good luck, and hopefully things will improve soon.

MalibuBakinBarbie Posted 13 Sep 2010 , 5:58pm
post #12 of 22

These stories make me grateful to know the kind and caring teacher that my sister was when she was a teacher. She taught kindergarten and 1st grade. That was years ago. She was invited just this last spring to one of her prior student's high school graduation. She is fondly remembered by many. SueW, I'm sorry your son has had such a difficult 1st day when it should have been one of great fun and excitement. Do what you must to get the full story. If the teacher is as "bad" as she sounds, I'm surprised the school continues to allow her to teach that grade. Kids should start off school on a positive note, so they can develop a love of learning ~ not coming home scared and upset. I do hope this works out for your little boy.

michellenj Posted 13 Sep 2010 , 7:42pm
post #13 of 22

We had a bullying issue with our daugher and some boys when she was in kindergarten. I know it's not the same thing, but my advice would be to document, document, document. Try to get things in email or writing whenever possible. You never know when things might escalate and you need backup.

My son just started kindergarten, too, and IMO, she should d be expect a 5 year old little boy to do things like that. School is scary, and being sent to the office on his first day could be damaging to his psyche.

cakesbycathy Posted 13 Sep 2010 , 9:55pm
post #14 of 22

As a former elementary school teacher my I offer my thoughts?

First, try and have a conference with the teacher before you meet with the principal. As hard as it may be, try and keep your anger in check when you meet with her. She may be way more willing to talk to you/work with you if you approach her calmly and ask what happened than if you go "over her head" before even talking to her.

Second, keep in mind that how a 5 year old child sees an incident and what a grown-up sees might be completely different. I am NOT saying your child was not truthful or that it isn't the real reason he was sent to the office. What I'm saying is that you may not have the complete picture because your son is a child and how he interprets things may be different than the actual circumstances.

Finally, if you are having a lot of trouble with the teacher and want your child moved to another room, be prepared for the administration to deny your request since the school year has already started. Especially if this is a public school. It may not seem like much to you as a parent to just move your child to another room, but it can be really disruptive to another class/teacher who are already in a routine. It may also be against the district policy.

Please keep us updated!

adonisthegreek1 Posted 14 Sep 2010 , 6:12pm
post #15 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunflower08

My daughter just started kindergarten this year too and I'm already having problems with the school. Her 4th day there they had signs up on the front door that no parents were allowed in the hallways anymore. So my daughter had to walk to her class room all by herself clear across the school. She was a minute late and was sent to the office for being late!! I was furious!!




I don't see the problem here. My kids school has adopted the same policy. They told us at orientation, wrote it in the newletter and had it posted. Kids are a lot more independent then we give them credit for. Last year, some parents were still walking their third graders to their classrooms. It makes unnecessary traffic outside and inside the building.

dchockeyguy Posted 14 Sep 2010 , 6:45pm
post #16 of 22

I'm going to show my age here, but it's funny: All of my schools were campus-style schools. We didn't have hallways. We would get dropped off (or walk, I was close enough for that when I got older) and have to make our way to our classroom on our own. I think kids can do these things if we let them/train them. I often think the biggest disservice we do kids is to try to make their lives TOO easy.

funcakes Posted 15 Sep 2010 , 3:55am
post #17 of 22

Just had to give my 2 cents about the comment-"the first day should be fun and exciting!" I have not had that experience yet, but then again I have only been teaching for about 35 years! LOL!
The first day is filled with the little ones not quite knowing what exactly is expected, not knowing if the teacher is really kind or can be trusted, afraid of doing something wrong and just being tired and hot! I spend most of the day having them do activities while I remind them-it all is so new, and the day seems long, it will get easier I promise! We have been in school 5 days and we are now settling in.
The no parent signs are signs of the times! We have installed a swipe card/buzz in system for security a few years ago and I work in a safe suburb. We are not hiding anything or trying to be mean to parents. We are just trying our best to protect all the kids. Everyone and anyone can reproduce. I had a conference with parents one time and as I ended the conference and walked the parents to the door. Two police officers were in the hall. They handcuffed the father and walked him out to the police car-drove away. No, we don't let parents walk around our halls.

dldbrou Posted 15 Sep 2010 , 11:41am
post #18 of 22

On the subject about parents walking the child to class, I fully understand the schools view.

What I don't get is the child being sent to the principal for being late on her/his first day when they do not understand what is going on or know any of the rules.

They need to take a step back and understand how scared or confusing it is to these babies that are growing up really fast. Some children have never been in a daycare and do not understand to stay in line or hurry to class, they just know that they don't have their secure home and mommie isn't there to help.

Sunflower08 Posted 15 Sep 2010 , 12:15pm
post #19 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunflower08

My daughter just started kindergarten this year too and I'm already having problems with the school. Her 4th day there they had signs up on the front door that no parents were allowed in the hallways anymore. So my daughter had to walk to her class room all by herself clear across the school. She was a minute late and was sent to the office for being late!! I was furious!!




I guess I should have given the full story on my comment.. My daughters sitter brings her to school for me since I'm working. When they arrived at the school (daughter in pm kindergarten) there was a child in the parking lot wondering around lost.. Being the nice person my sitter is she helped the child. (another kindergartener lost). After this was handled in the school office she seen the notes about not walking kids to the classes so she sent her on her way down the hall. With all the fiasco of that and then going to her class she was a minute late walking in her room. So yes I am upset with the school over my daughter being sent to the principal's office over a minute..

ShellBell69 Posted 15 Sep 2010 , 5:18pm
post #20 of 22

Wow! I am so sorry about the problems ya'll have with your kindergarten. It makes me appreciate my sons teacher even more. We were allowed to walk them to class for 3 days. After that no more. I was so worried about him getting in the lunchroom for breakfast (he eats breakfast there) and then getting to his class and all of that but you know what...he has done great! It really gives him a feeling of independence. I think as mommies we (or at least me) don't want to let go of them. I loved my little dependent child. Our school won't make them "late" until five after. That was just ridiculous that your child had to go to the office for 1 minute.

As for the teacher his teacher is great! They have a book that is their agenda and each day this book comes home with them. In it the teacher will write if they had a bad day or something like that. If there was a good day she draws a smilie face on that day. We are encouraged to write anything we need her to know in the agenda or email her. They also have a homework folder and a reading folder. They do use the red, yellow, green also only they use smilie faces. They have 5 colors instead of 3. They only get a note sent home if they pull an oops card (like the 4th card). The principal is the last card. Yes...others will see what face they are on but I really do feel that children need to learn that there are consequences to their actions. I'm positive that she gives a warning or two before they have to pull a card.

I may be biased because we were extreamly fortunate in the daycare that we chose (both my husband and I work full time). The daycare actually starts at age 2 as kindergarten. Last year they started the abecca(sp) program and that really made a difference. I was worred that my son would get bored in K because he allready knew a lot of the things they went over in the first 8 weeks but his teacher recognized this and has harder work for him so he won't get bored.

I hope and pray that those children that have bad teachers will get a better one. The teacher really does make a difference in what your child learns.

julzs71 Posted 16 Sep 2010 , 3:01am
post #21 of 22

You know what helps to understand what is going on in your kids class. Volunteer! I swear it is the best thing. It doesn't have to be an everyday thing, but once a week for an hour or every other week. Even if you just have lunch with your child you tend to get an understanding of the events that go on in your class.
My son or daughter come home and they will complain about a certain teacher all the time. They get mad at me for not supporting them in this, because I almost always take the teachers side. It's not easy having 20-30 kids in a classroom and making them all listen and be happy. Then on top of that you have to make all their parents happy! Not going to happen. And no I am not a teacher. I couldn't handle all of the kids.
I only half believe kids. My son had a girl in her class that he would tease because her name was Paige. The mother got mad and wanted to have a confernce with me. What the girl forgot to tell her mom was that she teased my son and called him dirty names. Kids only tell you the things you want to hear.
My sister had a teacher she HATED and still to this day remembers her. I had the same teacher years later....LOVED her.

funcakes Posted 17 Sep 2010 , 1:16am
post #22 of 22

Yes, I have to send the kids to the office if they are a minute late because we take attendance exactly on time and a phone call home is made immediately if a child is not reported absent by the parent before school. So any child who is late must go right back to the office and be checked in.
BTW this policy was put in place when a child was abducted, years ago, and no one realized it until hours and hours later. The school thought she was home sick, the parents thought she was in school.
Sometimes there are good reasons why schools do what they do. (okay, sometimes not)

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