Telling me in passing "It would be so cool for you to make my child's birthday cake!" is not the same as actually ordering a cake!

Ordering a cake involves silly little details like the date of the party, how many servings you need, the flavor you'd like. And oh yes - actually paying for the cake.

Please do not be shocked/sad/angry when you call me 2 days before the party and discover that I am not able to make your cake.

cathy, sounds like you are just a tad frustrated with someone.

Exactly! Let it out...take deep breaths...otherwise you sound like you're likely to strangle someone.

hahaha!!!!!

I laughed outloud, only because its happened to me before too. A friend of mine, who is a total space cadet btw, invited me to her son's birthday party with a note to bring dessert at the bottom. (A potluck for a kid's birthday?)

I had no clue what that meant, so I called to clarify and she told me that of course I would be providing the cake. No asking if I was available or nothing, just telling me that I was making his cake.

Then it got worse, she wouldnt tell me how many people or decide on a design first it was Yo Gabba Gabba, then trains, then primary colors, then crayons, then oh, match the invites, then she said to me and I quote, "I like stars." Seriously? I thought it was HIS birthday? Shouldnt we be doing something HE likes?

She never did tell me serving sizes, just said she wanted a "small" tiered cake, I made a 4',6',8'. Never told me what flavor, ended up being vanilla. AND I found out later that she was telling mutual friends that I was calling her all the time and bugging her about silly little details on the cake!

That was the last cake I made for my godson, cause his mother is NUTS!

I figured out early on that friends and family would ask me to bring a dessert any time there was a potluck, figuring I'd do a full on decorated cake. I decided I needed to adjust their expectations right off the bat.

I now have a policy of bringing the same desserts you'd expect from anyone else....a plate of "slice & bake" chocolate chip cookies, maybe a nice bundt cake with a drizzle, once in a while an ice box cake or even a cake fro the market (!) People are usually shocked the first few times (usually and fortunately speechless)

Then, once in a great while I will bring a fancy pastry or a decorated cake, if I feel like it or want to experiment with something, just to keep them on their toes. After a while, they stop expecting $300 cakes from me when other guests were only bringing $2 worth of kielbasa! Of course, I don't get invited to as many parties as I used to. But at least now I know they're inviting me for my company, not my cake.

artscallion, you are brilliant! You have probably saved me about 20 years of griping about always having to take a cake that costs far more to make and takes far longer than the contributions to the event from everyone else. I bow deeply to your shared wisdom--- bow, bow

and jayde - you too have given me another great idea. If someone asks me to bring 'dessert' or 'a cake', I'll just smile and say, "Oh, is this a potluck? What is everybody else bringing?"

When I get invited to a neighbhorhood get together or potluck, I always pipe up right away "Cool! I will bring some dip!" Don't even get them a chance to say I will bring desert....never thought of the bundt cake idea! Brilliant!!!! (maybe even one from a box! haha!)

I get asked to make cakes for potluck family gatherings all the time or some kind of dessert because I was always experimenting with flavors. Now since I am not decorating professionally anymore and I am doing full time school, I offer to bring the jar of pickles or the $2 worth of kielbasa.

I figure that I paid my dues bringing in desserts for years, so its time for someone else to take over. Honestly though? Since one of the Aunts started taking over desserts, now magically everyone is on a diet.

I was invited to a Halloween party. The girl wants everyone to bring a dish to share. She told me that she wanted to pay me to make the cookies and cupcakes. I told her that I could do it as my contribution and she said ABSOLUTELY not because it takes longer to decorate that stuff than a regular dish that people bring and she is going to pay me. It was nice to see that someone realizes that. She has been a regular customer of mine, so I know she knows the price of my cookies and cupcakes and won't be shocked when she finds out how much it is. Fortunately not everyone out there is cheap.

Oh it must be an epidemic! I had someone drop a note on my facebook wall over a week ago telling me her son's b'day was Sunday (today), he likes this and that kind of toy could I do something like that?

I replied yes, but we need to settle on details before I it's firm.

I get another note on my wall yesterday--oops--is it too late for details? I need to pick it up at noon, Sunday.

First of all, yep yep yep it's TOOO late, I don't put my life on hold for a maybe cake, and secondly I don't do Sunday pick-ups for puny little cakes.

She put a big sad face on my wall.. I deleted the whole post.

And this woman is a professional photographer....

My husband and I have 11 nieces and one nephew ...almost all within marrying age. I told them all that I would do their cake ....equal to the amount of $500 (figured that was pretty generous!) and that would be their gift. Anything over that, I would have to charge.

First one went perfect. Second one was across the state with nowhere to bake/build/etc. so I got out of that one. The third was last year. Told her I needed to know by Christmas for the following summer so I knew the date because the week after new year's I get bombarded with calls for summer weddings. She talked about some elaborate cake and I reminded her of the $500 rule. She looked at me like I was cheap! Really? Did your mother or father give you a $500 wedding gift? NOOOOOO!

Also, reminded her to let me know the date ASAP, so when she sent me an email in May for a July wedding, she was upset because I was booked. (she didn't even get invites out until 3 weeks before the wedding). The whole side of that family are non-planners. Usually we don't get invited to things because we never come. Well...duh...if you call the day of the party or get together, yeah, we're gonna have plans. So don't invite me! My life is sooooo much less complicated now! I told my husband I'm not even calling to see where Thanksgiving and Christmas are being held for his side of the family. We called last year and now we feel that maybe we invited ourselves doing that. I'll let it go and hopefully NOBODY will call hehe