Oh boy I need to vent!!!!!!!!

Family/friends get togethers are frustrating!!! Sometimes they are awesome and sometimes the accumulation of them is like a big bucket of dumb! This weekend is a group of acquaintances, friends, family get together pot luck.

I have a few friends/family members that are constantly dieting...it's like a club with them now - they live their lives via "points". I can honestly say if I spend more than a few mins with the "club" I will hear the word points many times over. "Well I wanted more, but holy goodness it was 5 points, I can't be eating that!!!!".

I have tried in the past to work with their point system, but have found they then blame their wkly weight gain on me!!! LOLLZZZ it's hilarious. I bring cake to the event, there are a few that will poh poh the "oh no I couldn't" and then stand by the cake and eat the equivilant of 3 servings by slicing off "ok maybe just a sliver".

When it's big group get together we pot luck, I call to say I'm bringing a cake or dessert I get "oh no please don't, your cakes are good but they are far too rich and full of calories, it's too bad you can't make something healthier, we're just going to have fruit for dessert"...

WTH healthier, if you have a bit it's not unhealthy, the only thing unhealthy is over indulging. The first time I was shocked and agreed and put together a fresh fruit platter, it cost me $40 in fresh fruit and it was hardly touched. They all gorged on everything else...My cake is too unhealthy, but they are pigging out on preserved food, packaged premade dips, nachos with cheese sauce, baked gooey brie and deep fried cheese sticks, wings, etc. I don't get how the points equate for all that fat vs sugar but that doesn't seem very healthy. Personally I can't eat all that stuff, it makes me feel kinda sick, I think I'm getting too old to digest it, so I just have a tiny bit of this and that, and try to stay with the homemade things and fresh veges, etc.

So next get together I said screw that and I made a cake. All the hubbys, kids and non "club" members thanked me for bringing the good stuff back-Everyone ended up eating cake, both club and non-members. That next wk I was the cause of issues "we have to ban you from making desserts, it's not fair to those of us that are trying to get healthy.

I get being supportive, but sheeesh if you know you can't control yourself why not eat a big salad before the get together? Why would you blame me for your wkly weight gain, I've seen you eat a 1/4 of a wheel of fatty baked brie, and a dozen chicken wings during many get togethers.

I like to think of my cakes as a treat...I like to see my family enjoy my creations...I love that look on their face when they bite in. Most times I don't bother eating it myself. I would think fresh ingredients baked into a heavenly cake would be "healthier" than prepared/processed/preserved greasy deep fried cheese sticks, but I'm not a nutritionist....That point company must know best regarding choices I guess *shrugs*

I joined weight watchers about 3 months ago (lost 20+ lbs!) and I'm here to tell you that the "point" system is there to work with you, not against you! With weight watchers,, I don't have to give up ANY of the foods I like ....I just have to plan and budget for them! (and btw, 5 pts is not all that big of a deal!)

We recently had a small get together and my sister, who is dying from brain cancer, came over. Do you think I'm going to detract from the enjoyment of this gathering by stressing ovr points???? Heck no! I had 2 hot dogs from the grill, TWO pieces of my daughter's AWESOME made-from-scratch apple pie (and I HATE apple pie, that tells you how good this is!), scarfed down lots of chips (sis's hubby works for Mikesells so these were really fresh!)

I went back on the program the next day and registered a weight loss for the week at my weigh in. I'm working VERY hard not to be one of those annoying people! Hubby and I go to Bob Evans .... I get the fruit plate and he gts his normal egg, biscuits, gravy, potatoes, ham, bacon. He isn't deprived ... and by the way, neither am I!

Your friends need to attend their WW meetings and really listen to the philosophies of the prgram. They need to focus on what they CAN do and not point out what martyrs they are with their list of what thy CAN'T do.

If it makes you feel any better, I have family members that have eating disorders. "Oh look at what I made! Non fat, non calorie, non real food items! Hooray!" "There's only 37 calories in each of these, so I can eat 3!"

I don't even bother making a dessert for meetings with those family members. If they won't even eat regular Cool Whip, I doubt my creations would be welcome at all.

In the diet world you will find the quiet dieters that just go about their business. They will eat or not eat something and not make a big deal about it. Often times unless you are around them you won't even know.

And you have those that just want the world to know, and make a huge deal about food. I have a cousin that did that several times this summer at a family get togethers. What was funny was that at the time she was making such a huge deal on it all I knew of 3 other family members that were doing the same diet and they didn't say a word about what was made or served.

My opinion is if you are eating healthy, then bring something you know you can eat with out feeling bad about and then eat small bits of the other stuff.

At one of the family things someone went and bought these frozen alcoholic drinks and she read the back and was like, "On no, I'm not drinking one of those, I'm not drinking my calories." in a snotty voice. I was like, more for the rest of us then. I feel there are times worth slurging, and if you don't want to, then don't make a big deal about it.

When I am eating my healthiest I could be sitting with the guys at work eating my 350 calorie meal and watch them eat hamburbers with cheese and bacon and a large fry and a huge drink. I don't sit there and lecture them on what they are eating, I don't point out calories to them, unless they talk about my food, and I don't care what they eat.

They are big boys, they can eat crap if they want. Just like I'm a big girl and in control of what I eat.

I say bring the desserts, let those that want them enjoy them, and just ignore the rest. And next time they say you caused them to gain weight, just shake your head and brush it off. If they push it then I'd probably say something like, "wow, I didn't know I was good enough to effect your eating for the other 6 and a half days of the week. Man, that must be some **** good cake!"

Well done Debi - 20lbs is awesome!!! I do exactly as you do to keep myself in line - I don't belong to WW, but I watch myself, if I don't I'd end up having problems. When we go out or have pot lucks I make sure I adjust what I eat later or next day I'm a light eater, it works for me. Just common sense and I find if I'm eating a lot of rich or processed food I feel just awful, my body doesn't like it - guessing I'm getting old

My friends don't go to meetings, someone said along the same line as you, that they aren't using the program properly, go to meeting but they didn't like the lady that runs the meeting...I was also shocked to hear most starve the day of weighing. And will not eat or drink anything after noon because they worry they will weigh heavy with liquid like coffee or water I'm WTH? WATER? Water is good for you, you should never limit water. So instead they starve all day when they have to weigh, then they go out for a late dinner to a chicken place. I think this is what pissed me off the most - my cakes are def not calorie free, but to call it unhealthy when they are going through oddball tactics to weigh lighter. I'm sure most eat healthy but shesh not eating or drinking after a certain time of day because of a scale seems silly.

I'm sorry to hear about your sister, I lost my brother when he was young (mid 20s) to an accident, I'm not comparing to your situation or trying to say I know how you would feel, this is only to say I hope that you have some time to really celebrate the life you shared growing up with her...And to say that sucks really bad, sometimes I wish we could kick life in the nuts, really hard, with very pointy shoes...Many hugs.

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@ Defy - lolzzz yes exactly. I hear the same thing about no cal, no fat, eat 3. It's silly how obsessed, one in particular is. I'm about to take a bite of salsa/chips "Do you realize how many points that is? It's 3points, I rarely eat that crap". As she grabs a hunk of brie/puff pastry. I comeback with I don't understand points, it doesn't really mean anything to me, I don't count calories or points, I just eat what I like, what makes me feel good and try to be sensible, works for me.

I'm so glad it's not just me...Like I said I really try to be supportive of my friends, but this new program of points has been shoved down my throat one too many times I guess lolz. And them suggesting that I should probably get involved, "not because you are overweight, but you might feel better learning about how to eat right, and the added bonus of dropping a few kilos is great - getting older you are going to end up needing it sooner or later!" - How effing rude to suggest or assume I should join them.

I'm not skinny minnie, I'm very comfortable with myself, I like my body. I have a wonderful relationship with my hubby of 20yrs. I eat what I like, I exercise, I'm athletic and feel really good. If I think about it, it's really one overbearing acquaintance in particular that is irritating - now that I've vented I think I need to talk to her about backing off...that might help reduce the overwhelming feeling of points moving in to suffocate me!!!

Luffie, un healthy dieters are the worst kind there is.

I actually don't like the diet work and try no to use it myself. You can't diet and keep weight off you have to make changes. Eating using common sense (so many lack that these days) and really knowing what thigns are good or bad for you is the best way to go.

Of all the programs out there, I do think WW has the best idea behind it. As Debi says it doesn't limit what you eat, it just makes you think about what you eat and if it is worth it in the end.

But there will always be people that don't have a clue. You should tell them by not drinking anything, especially water before the weigh in can actually cause them to have a higher weight. When we don't keep out bodies hydrated they hold on to anything we give them because they don't know when they will get it again.

Let's face it - you're damned if you don't, damned if you do.

I say bring whatever it is that you want to bring. If anyone complains about what you've brought just smile sweetly and say "feel free not to have any." and then walk away.

How about this reply to their blaming you for their inability to just say NO...

geez, I'm sorry next time I will leave the invisible gun, that I held to your head that forced you to eat three pieces of cake, at home.

It drives me crazy when people do that !! As I always say, one candy bar doesnt make you fat. It is all his friends in the package with him that does!

Such a wise bunch you are

Thank you so much for letting me vent, it really helped!

I hear what all of you are saying...and I agree. I am diabetic and people look at me and tell what to eat and not to eat. Uhmmm I think I am an adult at 55 and know what I can and cannot consume. Just bring what you feel comfortable bringing and just like when I bring something that has nuts in it I put a little sign stating the ingredients. Perhaps if you put a little sign up "per slice x amount of calories - eat at own risk!" You are not responsible for what people put in their mouths...and tell them that.
Cheers!