Why Can't People Just Accept A Gift? (Vent)

Decorating By sullymel13 Updated 17 Aug 2010 , 11:50pm by dm321

sullymel13 Posted 16 Aug 2010 , 5:44pm
post #1 of 37

Aarrgh! Three of my friends have 3 little girls all born within 2 weeks. They are hosting a joint birthday party, and instead of getting them regular presents that they will toss away, I thought it would be nice to give them a cake as a gift. I found this really cute design from Eat Cake Be Merry, that has vertical pink stripes and a gumpaste banner.

I started working on this cake on Saturday (party is this Saturday), finishing the gumpaste pieces and baking almost all the cake. Only now I am hearing their concerns about fondant and 3 year olds. I told them I would do it all in buttercream, but with fondant stripes, but it still seems too much.

They are still considering using their original plan, which was a Wal-Mart cupcake cake in the shape of a 3. Reasoning? Because it's convenient to serve, and there is the "normal sweet icing."

I am still self-concious about my cakes. I was thinking, everybody raves about my cakes, so why wouldn't someone want one for free? (I'm not legal, so I don't sell them anyway) So much for trying to be nice!

Thanks, I feel better now...

36 replies
careylynn Posted 16 Aug 2010 , 5:54pm
post #2 of 37

It sounds like they wouldn't appreciate it, so don't waste your time and energy. You will regret every second you spend working on it otherwise. Save your time and money and let them buy a walmart cupcake thingy. You know your cakes are awesome, so who cares if they don't want a special and unique cake. its their loss icon_smile.gif

CookieD-oh Posted 16 Aug 2010 , 5:59pm
post #3 of 37

I understand how you feel. I once had someone refuse an offer for a free cake because they were getting one from someone who "gets paid for her cakes". Mine would have been better. icon_twisted.gif

If they want Wal-mart cupcakes over a custom cake, let 'em have at it. You do lovely work and if they don't want your cake it's their loss.

edited to add: And three year olds LOVE fondant. (At least all the ones that I know do.)

cathyscakes Posted 16 Aug 2010 , 6:01pm
post #4 of 37

Oh my how strange, your cakes are beautiful. If they are worried about fondant, pull it off when they serve it. Not sure why they are concerned. Did you tell them that you already started making some of the pieces for the cake, are they trying to be considerate for you, or inconsiderate, I can't quite tell what is going on.

sullymel13 Posted 16 Aug 2010 , 6:12pm
post #5 of 37

Thanks for the comments and compliments. One of my cakes (the black/white/turquoise one) was even done for the mother that is complaining the most! My kids (same ages as their kids) just love fondant. My almost 3 year old doesn't even eat the cake, just the fondant balls I usually put around the border!

She really is trying to sound greatful, but right now it is just coming out insulting. I did tell them that I can use the cakes for something else (they are already frozen), because I really don't feel like continuing right now. It is not final yet if I am doing it or not, but I kind of hope that it is not. I'm just mad because they could have just said no when I first offered!

Justforfun751 Posted 16 Aug 2010 , 6:16pm
post #6 of 37

One of my good friends always wants cupcakes for her kids birthday parties because it is much easier to cut up and then there is the issue of getting germs on the whole cake when candles are blown out. Maybe this could be the issue, along with maybe not being familiar with fondant and if the kids would like it (mine like it and my good friend's kids LOVE it)?
Maybe if not for the public party, the friends might prefer the cakes as personal "family" cakes, to be eaten at home later?
Sorry that this is happening to you - I bet your cakes taste as well as look wonderful! Much better than Walmart

indydebi Posted 16 Aug 2010 , 7:48pm
post #7 of 37

Rest assured that after awhile you will be GLAD they are foregoing your freebie. That means you get to be "just a guest" and get to just sit back and have a good time, like everyone else.

Can't tell you how many family wedding ceremonies I missed because I was doing the food or delivering the cake. And I don't begrudge it ..... I volunteered and I wouldn't volunteer if I didnt' really want to do it. I've also had relatives who opted to get their cake and food from someone else and I'm here to tell you it was FUN to FINALLY get to enjoy the wedding celebration just like everyone else!

Of course, I AM sitting there critiqueing the food, the cake, the cutting, the serving ..... and all of my relatives telling me to "Stop it!" icon_biggrin.gif

cathyscakes Posted 16 Aug 2010 , 8:14pm
post #8 of 37

I'm with you Debi, I have only been to a couple of receptions that I haven't made the cake, have alot of friends and relatives. So nice to just sit back and enjoy the day. But even on those 2 occassions I wanted to jump up and cut the cake, kind of a control freak, thought they didn't know what they were doing. icon_rolleyes.gif

Babarooskie Posted 16 Aug 2010 , 8:19pm
post #9 of 37

I'm with Debi!!

You should start doing your happy dance and be grateful that they declined. You start with a cake for free- and rest assured they will request another *free* cake for the future.

It's like feeding stray cats!!

indydebi Posted 16 Aug 2010 , 8:25pm
post #10 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by Babarooskie

It's like feeding stray cats!!


icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif so true! icon_lol.gif

kellybojangles Posted 16 Aug 2010 , 8:40pm
post #11 of 37

I've been doing cakes for my niece and nephew's birthday parties for years. No one has complained and I get to do something different every year. But, the downside, they do start expecting it. I always include a card with the cake so that they understand that it is the present. As your case goes, don't sweat it. Make it clear you are NOT doing the cake so you don't have to wonder if they will change their mind at the last minute, then decide to have a great time. Have fun and enjoy your week. Someone else will LOVE your work later on. Guaranteed.

Mae1118 Posted 16 Aug 2010 , 9:12pm
post #12 of 37

Wow, that stinks that your friends would treat you like that. I agree with what careylynn said - they won't be grateful for it, so don't waste your time. Even if decorating cakes is fun for you, it won't be any fun to make one for someone who won't appreciate it. You could just tell them that it sounds like the wal-mart cake would be easier for them, and you certainly don't want to "hassle" them, so it would probably just be best to order the wal-mart cake (sarcasm with delivery of this message is optional! icon_wink.gif ) You know your cakes are awesome, and it's their loss if they don't appreciate your generosity. Save your talent for someone who will truly appreciate it!

P.S. - Okay, I just looked at your photos, and your cakes really are awesome! I am doing a bow cake this weekend and I hope it comes out half as good as yours. And by the way, my kids LOVE fondant too. I have a pic of my 2 year old taking a big bite out of a chunk of pure fondant from his birthday cake. He enjoyed it more than the actual cake!

Doug Posted 16 Aug 2010 , 9:18pm
post #13 of 37

how is that I can't shake the thought that....

you're right ---

they can't accept the gift you want to give because......


they want something BETTER as in THREE pricey toys or some such (1 per child) that now they feel their children are being cheated out of because.....


you want to give a cake they can get for around $25 at Walmart


that's not fair in their world. You're getting off just spending $25 (walmart price in their eyes) instead of dropping $25 per child for a personal present.


Not to mention -- how dare you see them as one unit instead of as three little princesses each deserving of her OWN individual present?

DefyGravity Posted 16 Aug 2010 , 9:31pm
post #14 of 37

Give the kids savings bonds. My son's birthday is April 22, and my twins' bday is April 25th, so they celebrate together. This year they got so many toys it was ridiculous. If someone would have said "This is for their future, I didn't want to get them a toy they may or may not like" they would have been my favorite guest at the party.

Your cakes are totally gorgeous, and there is no reason for you to be self-conscious about them! Enjoy the party!

janeoxo Posted 16 Aug 2010 , 9:50pm
post #15 of 37

Doug summed up exactly what I was thinking......absolutely spot on.

If I was you don't do the cake and just tell them you didn't have time to get any presents as they left it too late deciding whether they wanted the cake or not

Dayti Posted 16 Aug 2010 , 10:16pm
post #16 of 37

To the OP, sorry that you can't do their cakes, but as others have said at least you get to enjoy the party. Just remember not to eat any of that nasty cake when it gets passed round icon_twisted.gif

Quote:
Originally Posted by Justforfun751

...and then there is the issue of getting germs on the whole cake when candles are blown out...




I'm sorry, but now I really have heard it all!

indydebi Posted 16 Aug 2010 , 10:32pm
post #17 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dayti

Quote:
Originally Posted by Justforfun751

...and then there is the issue of getting germs on the whole cake when candles are blown out...



I'm sorry, but now I really have heard it all!


Oh haven't you seen the latest and greatest invention? A plastic cover that goes over the cake with indentations so you can put the candles on top of the plastic cover!! So when the kid blows out the candles, the spit and air goes on the plastic cover, which is then removed and bingo-bango sanitary cake! (until the little darlings start eating it with their fingers which have been up who knows how many noses, of course!)

Cake in a Plastic Bubble! party.gif Ah, we've come a long way baby! dunce.gif

sweetooth0510 Posted 16 Aug 2010 , 10:38pm
post #18 of 37

hahahaha I did see those plastic things on the news here a while ago, I said to my husband at the time 'theres no way somones putting that monstrousity on the top of one of my cakes' .. if you are so precious about your kids not getting germs put them under a plastic box with breathing holes and see how they like the party .... BIRTHDAY CAKES HAVE FEELINGS TOO!!

Dayti Posted 16 Aug 2010 , 10:44pm
post #19 of 37

Oh puhlease...next thing you know some bright spark will be manufacturing the plastic cake bubble with designs on - no need to pay a cake decorator!

Kitagrl Posted 16 Aug 2010 , 10:53pm
post #20 of 37

I just wanted to say that I went to your photos fully expecting to see sliding, messy, newbie cakes but yours are gorgeous! The wedding one is just perfect. I can't imagine not wanting a cake from you!!!!!!!! And for free! (Will you come make MY kids birthday cakes? haha cuz usually I just have them decorate their own however they want...M&Ms, sprinkles, ice themselves, etc!)

I don't know what their problem is. But don't feel self conscious....your work is great.

PiccoloChellie Posted 16 Aug 2010 , 11:15pm
post #21 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi

Oh haven't you seen the latest and greatest invention? A plastic cover that goes over the cake with indentations so you can put the candles on top of the plastic cover!! So when the kid blows out the candles, the spit and air goes on the plastic cover, which is then removed and bingo-bango sanitary cake! (until the little darlings start eating it with their fingers which have been up who knows how many noses, of course!)




Miss Debi, I'm reminded again of that paranoia vs. more educated thread we were conversing in the other week. In this case, I'm going with paranoia. Good lord, cake in a bubble??

(Was studying a pre-1900 cookbook last night and one of the "receipts" called for whipping two raw egg whites and grated loaf sugar pounded with a mortar & pestle with broom straws for the cake icing. We are informed that "this cake will be fresh and delicious for up to a week if kept in a cool spot in your kitchen." Cake shields. GAHHHHH!)

Kitagrl Posted 16 Aug 2010 , 11:30pm
post #22 of 37

Darn, the spit is what makes birthday cake so GOOD!

sullymel13 Posted 16 Aug 2010 , 11:54pm
post #23 of 37

Thanks again everyone! The jokes about kids spitting on the cake made me laugh! I'm going to go through with the cake, and I don't want to make them out to be completely ungrateful or wishing they would get presents instead (btw, my present budget is more like $15 per kid). They aren't trying to be greedy, but just weren't sure if they wanted to deal with the mess or hassle. To me, that is the least of my concerns if somebody wanted to give me a custom cake!

Thanks for the support, and the lovely comments. I'll post a picture of the finished product when it's done!

tesso Posted 17 Aug 2010 , 12:23am
post #24 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi


Of course, I AM sitting there critiqueing the food, the cake, the cutting, the serving ..... and all of my relatives telling me to "Stop it!" icon_biggrin.gif




Get out of my head woman!! icon_lol.gif I do the same thing!!

indydebi Posted 17 Aug 2010 , 12:24am
post #25 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by tesso

Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi


Of course, I AM sitting there critiqueing the food, the cake, the cutting, the serving ..... and all of my relatives telling me to "Stop it!" icon_biggrin.gif



Get out of my head woman!! icon_lol.gif I do the same thing!!


I used to work at a casket manufacturing company. You should see me at funerals! icon_rolleyes.gif

tesso Posted 17 Aug 2010 , 12:55am
post #26 of 37

[quote="indydebi
I used to work at a casket manufacturing company. You should see me at funerals! icon_rolleyes.gif[/quote]

ROFLMAO!! icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

7yyrt Posted 17 Aug 2010 , 3:29pm
post #27 of 37

They are paying for the party and want an easily serve-able cake from somewhere else. If you made the big fancy cake they would have to serve it, and they want something that doesn't need cutting.
Why must it be an insult because someone doesn't want a cake we want to give them? I would not want someone to bring 23 pounds of fresh sausage to my dinner party and expect me to serve it. Why is a cake any different?

In short; their party, their food.

kellybojangles Posted 17 Aug 2010 , 6:13pm
post #28 of 37

Doug nailed it! And Janeoxo had a great one- don't get any presents either as it was too late to go purchase any when they finally decided no cake from you. Some people can be selfish. They are sharing the cake anyway! Good grief!

thatslifeca Posted 17 Aug 2010 , 6:46pm
post #29 of 37

Ok folks you sure do make me laugh, ALL of ya!! What I did one time is going to seem mean to some folks but I think CC is a good place to confess this sin:

I wanted to make a cake for a friends 25th anniversary as a gift. I spoke to her daughters about it and we agreed that I would replicate their wedding cake. I was really excited because she is a good friend, soooooo about 2 days before the party she was told that I was doing her cake. She called me and asked my NOT to do it. When I asked why, she didn't give me a reason. Naturally I was hurt and upset, it was complicated cake and I had already started it. Needless to say they bought a last minute cake from a grocery store and it tasted awful (i'm a bit of a cake snob I guess). Here is the confession part.....I invited her&her hubby over for dinner and served it them for dessert. icon_evil.gif She knew what it was the second she saw it. Her hubby looks at her and calmly says....that sure looks like our wedding cake LOL. That was 2yrs ago and we still laugh about it.

Sorry that was longer then I thought.

mandymomof3 Posted 17 Aug 2010 , 7:58pm
post #30 of 37

1 year old? sure - 3 years old? maybe

I'm a mother of 4, and at age 3 my kids could eat fondant, chew gum, even eat playdough or anything of similar consistency.

Are these first time moms? They seem slightly overprotective. Take the cake and have them pull the fondant off. Just my suggestion-

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