Baker's Guilt

Decorating By CrumblesConfections Updated 29 Jul 2010 , 12:28am by erincc

CrumblesConfections Posted 28 Jul 2010 , 3:28pm
post #1 of 7

I've tried to commit to practicing on different areas of decorating cakes and cupcakes at least 4-6 hours per week, but I feel so guilty because my husband feels like I'm spending too much time in the kitchen and not enough with him. Now mind you, he won't lift a finger to help me do a thing so I can't include him. I've only been married since last November and I don't want him to feel neglected. Any suggestions on how I can make this work? He knows I really love baking but he's still a man and needs to be given that attention he wants. On weekends when he's working late I'm usually too tired to even do any baking. I know in order to get better and make a career out of this, I have to practice and gain more experience and skills. He knows this too, but he's a big baby sometimes. I love him to death though. Just needed to vent.

6 replies
Doug Posted 28 Jul 2010 , 7:28pm
post #2 of 7

little red hen's advice:

no cake for you if you didn't help make it!

Shannie13 Posted 28 Jul 2010 , 7:45pm
post #3 of 7

not to throw another log on the fire....but just wait until you have kids icon_wink.gif

It isn't easy to juggle many things at once and a marriage is hard work, no matter what anyone says. After being married for 8 years I actually like it when hubby goes out and I have the house to myself. Time management is difficult in life period, just do your best.

And I definitely agree with Doug....get him involved...throw ideas at him whether you use them or not is totally up to you anyway but then you guys are spending time together doing things you want as well.

TexasSugar Posted 28 Jul 2010 , 7:45pm
post #4 of 7

I think it is healthy for couples to have some seperate interests.

What exactly does he want you to do in place of the time in the kitchen? I mean if he just wants to be near you and talk to you, then invite him into the kitchen to pull up a stool and you can talk while you work? If there are other things then maybe ya'll can work out a schedule, a date night of sorts. And when you want to do something in the kitchen, what about encouraging him to pick up a hobby to help occupy his time while you are doing that?

Why is it woman, as wives and/or mothers, feel quilty about spending a little time doing something for themselves to better themselves or even just to save their sanity?

metria Posted 28 Jul 2010 , 8:12pm
post #5 of 7

i've experienced the same thing! i can really get caught up in hobby baking/decorating and reading CC icon_wink.gif that sometimes he feels left out. best thing i can figure is do your hobby while he's doing his or is out working late. i've had to dial back on a lot of projects because it's not feasible to upkeep those along with a relationship. i'm married to him, not my oven! don't get me wrong, DH is definitely supportive of my baking, but it can't take priority over my family.

katiemarie718 Posted 28 Jul 2010 , 9:23pm
post #6 of 7

rather than doing the actual baking cause that can take up so much time just practice on an empty cake pan or what ever. Then you can get your practice time in without all the baking in the first place. I don't know if this would work or not but I don't see why you couldn't even make your own cake dummys out of like a floral foam. Glue some blocks together then carve them to she shape you want. Like I said I don't know if that would work or even be cost effective for a dummy but my point is that you don't need the actual caketo practice on I would think you could cut out a huge amont of time that way.

erincc Posted 29 Jul 2010 , 12:28am
post #7 of 7

That's great that you are so dedicated to learning new skills! I feel if your husband wants you to spend more time with him, though, you should. Of course you could see like TexasSugar said if he would hang out in the kitchen and talk there. Just don't expect any help and you won't be disappointed, LOL! Can you bake a big batch of cupcakes and/or small cakes and keep them in the freezer along with a few smaller bowls of frosting so you can practice the nights he is gone? Then all you would have to be would be to decorate, not bake & make frosting which is so time consuming. Hope you can work out a compromise that makes you both happy.

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