Depressed! :( Feelin' Like I Ruined A Wedding. Pls Help!

Decorating By cksweets Updated 15 Sep 2010 , 10:15pm by tmac670

cksweets Posted 20 Jul 2010 , 6:32am
post #1 of 21

please help w/advice. this is not a vent, i need some help getting over this. has you ever felt like this? ...anyone?

let me tell you a lil about my horrible experience. i was asked by mom to make her son's wedding cake. i grew up w/him and took on the task gladly. i have been making cakes for about 3 years, i'm not professional by any means, but the design was easy. anyways, what could have gone wrong did. i am so upset. this happened on sat and i just can't seem to shake this feeling like the cake that i did is gonna be a regret on their very special day. icon_sad.gif i am also really embarrassed bc it was horrible looking and of course the photographer took pix of the side and back. ugh!!

i thought about emailing her and letting her know what all happened, the bottom tier collapsed i had to bake a whole new one. then all the tiers were crooked and started sagging. just when i was getting confident in my work this crap happens. it's all my fault. i know why everything happened the way it did...but why was i so stupid to not catch it until it was too late and i had no time to fix any of the issues.

*sigh*

20 replies
TheBlonde Posted 20 Jul 2010 , 11:09am
post #2 of 21

I'm sorry this happened. Cakes are tough, especially in the summer. I had a really tough weekend as well with my bottom tier of a cake collapsing. Just keep your chin up and use this as a learning experience...

LisaPeps Posted 20 Jul 2010 , 11:19am
post #3 of 21

You're cakes are stunning, if I could do half of what you can I'd be a very happy lady ^_^

Put this one behind you and learn from the mistakes, move on and continue to make beautiful cakes ^_^

smokeysmokerton Posted 20 Jul 2010 , 11:24am
post #4 of 21

First of all, we are our own worst critic. We see things that most people don't, so it's probably not as bad as you think. Even the best cakers have bad days....it's just the nature of the business. Try not to be too hard on yourself. You said you knew what went wrong, so take it as a lesson learned and move on. Beating yourself up isn't helping anyone.

BTW, your cakes are awesome thumbs_up.gif

KHalstead Posted 20 Jul 2010 , 12:02pm
post #5 of 21

I have BEEN where you are now, only thing is...the whole cake was a loss...they had NO wedding cake aside from the sheet cake that was to be extra servings (and never to be seen) and the top tier of the cake.............and believe me, you WILL get over this and it will be ok ............eventually.

Learn from it, figure out what went wrong (you said you might know anyhow) and correct it for future cakes, that's what I did and I'm able to be confident in what skill I have and am able to determine if I can do a design based on a photo without even having tried the technique before (because I know my limits).

Your cakes in your pics are gorgeous, do you have pics of your brother's wedding cake??? I'll bet it's not NEARLY as aweful as you think it is!!!

I get pm's with compliments on cakes that I literally put on CC to show people how WRONG a cake can be............the beauty is in the eye of the beholder!

Loucinda Posted 20 Jul 2010 , 12:12pm
post #6 of 21

I agree, the cakes in your pics are all spot on. Do you have a pic of the one that has caused you to stress? I agree wtih KH - I am sure it isn't as bad as you think it is.

nana_marta Posted 20 Jul 2010 , 12:20pm
post #7 of 21

I agree, agree, agree with all the above posts.
We are our own worst critics
We see flaws no one else ever would
You WILL get over it to bake beautiful cakes again very soon
We all have those days, you are not alone
Sometimes it's harder when it is a good friend
And---YOU MAKE AWSOME CAKES!!!
Big HUG.hug,hug!!!!

mamawrobin Posted 20 Jul 2010 , 2:29pm
post #8 of 21

These things happen and I'm sorry that this happened to you. Your cakes are beautiful and you certainly have an eye for design. Now, I'm going to ask this....

How are you leveling your cakes? I'm only asking after looking through your gallery because I've noticed that the dummy cakes that you've done look much different that the actual cakes that you've made. I have to say that you DO have some very beautiful cakes!!

The cakes that are in your photos that aren't dummy cakes look to me to have a slight 'dome' like they may not be completely leveled. This could have been part of your structural problem with your cake. Just a suggestion. I know that I have made probably 20 cakes just to learn how to level and construct the cake....LOL...I have made many cakes that I never decorated just to get the construction part down. Making sure that my cakes were level, bulge free and straight. While working with a dummy will improve your decorating skills it doesn't teach anything about the structure of a cake. Getting cakes perfectly level, making sure the dowels/straws are cut the same length, how to prevent bulging, etc. is just as important as the decorations that go on the cake.

Of course without seeing photos of the cake that you're talking about I'm not sure exactly what your problem with this cake was. If the tiers were crooked it could have been because the cake wasn't level, the supports were't all the same length, etc. by examining what went wrong with your cake you can prevent this from happening again. But if you don't 'examine' the problem chances are it could happen again and I know you certainly don't want that to happen.

How did you construct the cake? Did or how did you level your cakes? What type of support system did you use? You have such good eye for detail and your decorating skills are really good. thumbs_up.gif Sorry this happened to you, but put your apron on and get busy with the next one!
No better therapy than cakin' thumbs_up.gif

Bskinne Posted 20 Jul 2010 , 4:01pm
post #9 of 21

Hey, your cakes are beautiful. Everyone has an off day, but you just keep going....
I had a disaster this past weekend with mixing up a date for a grooms cake (thought it was Sat when it was Friday)....I manage to pull one together but it looked horrible and I was completely depressed, to the point of saying I will never make another cake....but after a few days it gets better. So hang in there, your work is too stunning to give up. I hope you get some good tips on how to prevent it from happening again, you should put up a picture....

all4cake Posted 20 Jul 2010 , 4:29pm
post #10 of 21

I am sorry you are feeling down but, the PPs are right, it will pass. Just use this experience to help with the next one you do. A lot of people make sure the cake is done the day before so if something might happen, they can still recover from it.

Was it posted on the calendar and I overlooked it that there shouldn't be cakes made for this past weekend? Seriously, there seems to be an unusually high number of "if it could go wrong, it did" situations from this past weekend. In most cases, heat was not a factor.

this past weekend was the worst in the last 20 years for me (wanted to cry but was too freakin' stressed out and couldn't 'cause there wasn't any time for crying=meltdown ). All is well now, I've learned yet another valuable lesson.

cabecakes Posted 21 Jul 2010 , 9:51pm
post #11 of 21

You have to remember that we are working with icing and cake...not concrete and steel beams. Even concrete and steel beams sometimes fall. Sometimes everything works out great and other times everything goes wrong. This just happened to be your day for everything to go wrong. i looked at your photos and you make beautiful cakes, please try to let it go.

JulieMN Posted 21 Jul 2010 , 11:26pm
post #12 of 21

I'm sorry about what happened. You have received excellent advice here....take the things that didn't go well, learn from them, and apply them to your future cakes. I have found over time that I learn better (harder, but better) when things don't go as planned.

cksweets Posted 23 Jul 2010 , 12:03am
post #13 of 21

i just wanted to say thank you to all that took the time to post!! i truly appreciate it. i will get a pic and post. also, i have more pix to post on here of recent work. i want to answer all your questions too..i will try my best to get to them tonight when my lil ones are asleep.


THAAAAAAAAAAANK YOU again!! y'all are awesome!! icon_smile.gif

cksweets Posted 15 Sep 2010 , 9:09pm
post #14 of 21

hey y'all here's a pic of the horrible cake. :'''''''-( ugh! i hate this darn cake so much! after lots of sleepless nights, i've figured out what happened... i tried to make a turtle cake and made it WAY too most. left it out of the cooler too long while decorating which caused the bubbling and leaning. the bottom tier is shorter bc the vanilla one w/strawberry filling totally fell apart bc it was too moist. so i had to make another tier super fast and didn't have time to make it as tall as the others...but most of all...i totally over stressed over this one. this girl was a super bridezilla and i was so worried about not making her happy i wasn't focused on all the details that make a beautiful cake. i wanted it super moist, and it wound up too moist to hold weight of fondant. icon_sad.gif

oh well, i can't go back and fix what i did. i have refunded the money so hopefully with time i will move foward. but for now this one still haunts me.

on a positive note, i have learned from my mistakes. and despite this disaster, have figured out that the more confident i am in my work the better my work comes out.

thank you all so very much for your help. i am totally making notes on all your suggestions. thanks again!!!

cksweets Posted 15 Sep 2010 , 9:22pm
post #15 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by cksweets

hey y'all here's a pic of the horrible cake. :'''''''-( ugh! i hate this darn cake so much! after lots of sleepless nights, i've figured out what happened... i tried to make a turtle cake and made it WAY too most. left it out of the cooler too long while decorating which caused the bubbling and leaning. the bottom tier is shorter bc the vanilla one w/strawberry filling totally fell apart bc it was too moist. so i had to make another tier super fast and didn't have time to make it as tall as the others...but most of all...i totally over stressed over this one. this girl was a super bridezilla and i was so worried about not making her happy i wasn't focused on all the details that make a beautiful cake. i wanted it super moist, and it wound up too moist to hold weight of fondant. icon_sad.gif

oh well, i can't go back and fix what i did. i have refunded the money so hopefully with time i will move foward. but for now this one still haunts me.

on a positive note, i have learned from my mistakes. and despite this disaster, have figured out that the more confident i am in my work the better my work comes out.

thank you all so very much for your help. i am totally making notes on all your suggestions. thanks again!!!


.


...can't get pic or pdf to attach. still trying. sorry for the delay. icon_smile.gif

cksweets Posted 15 Sep 2010 , 9:23pm
post #16 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamawrobin

These things happen and I'm sorry that this happened to you. Your cakes are beautiful and you certainly have an eye for design. Now, I'm going to ask this....

How are you leveling your cakes? I'm only asking after looking through your gallery because I've noticed that the dummy cakes that you've done look much different that the actual cakes that you've made. I have to say that you DO have some very beautiful cakes!!

The cakes that are in your photos that aren't dummy cakes look to me to have a slight 'dome' like they may not be completely leveled. This could have been part of your structural problem with your cake. Just a suggestion. I know that I have made probably 20 cakes just to learn how to level and construct the cake....LOL...I have made many cakes that I never decorated just to get the construction part down. Making sure that my cakes were level, bulge free and straight. While working with a dummy will improve your decorating skills it doesn't teach anything about the structure of a cake. Getting cakes perfectly level, making sure the dowels/straws are cut the same length, how to prevent bulging, etc. is just as important as the decorations that go on the cake.

Of course without seeing photos of the cake that you're talking about I'm not sure exactly what your problem with this cake was. If the tiers were crooked it could have been because the cake wasn't level, the supports were't all the same length, etc. by examining what went wrong with your cake you can prevent this from happening again. But if you don't 'examine' the problem chances are it could happen again and I know you certainly don't want that to happen.

How did you construct the cake? Did or how did you level your cakes? What type of support system did you use? You have such good eye for detail and your decorating skills are really good. thumbs_up.gif Sorry this happened to you, but put your apron on and get busy with the next one!
No better therapy than cakin' thumbs_up.gif




thank you sweetie for helping me out so much!! i've gone over your questions and have developed, tested and approved. icon_wink.gif new methods. you are so great to help me out. i truly am thankful for your time and assistance girly!

jlynnw Posted 15 Sep 2010 , 9:27pm
post #17 of 21

I am so sorry for you. I agree with the PP. You DID not ruin their wedding. This is pobably the only time I would say "it is just cake" applies. Their wedding and marriage is not over the cake. I am sure looking at all of your work, you are disappointed in yourself over flaws that are not as horrible as you believe them to be. Get back in the kitchen, bake another cake and keep doing so until you get your cake legs back! You can do it!

what_a_cake Posted 15 Sep 2010 , 9:48pm
post #18 of 21

Hey girl... every baker has been there icon_sad.gif I think that you're feeling deeper cause you know the family. If you need to explain what went wrong, go ahead let them know how bad you feel, but also that accidents happen.

Lesson learned, you seem to know what the reason was, now move on and continue your journey doing amazing cakes!!!

cutthecake Posted 15 Sep 2010 , 9:58pm
post #19 of 21

As difficult as it might be, let it go. Move on. Despite your sadness and embarrassment, and the couple's feelings about the cake, the bride and groom WILL look back on this and laugh someday. It's a tale they will tell their children in years to come. And they will inevitably say to another complaining couple, "You think what happened at your wedding is bad? Our cake collapsed!" (Or whatever their take on the story is.)
Our favorite memory of my sister's engagement party is the image of my uncle, whose suit was covered in peaches, strawberries and whipped cream, after he tripped up the stairs while carrying the strawberry shortcake his wife had lovingly baked and decorated. My aunt wanted to kill him, but we were howling. It was an accident, plain and simple. The poor guy apologized up and down, but it's hard to take a guy seriously when he has fruit on his lapels.

step0nmi Posted 15 Sep 2010 , 10:02pm
post #20 of 21

awww here's a virtual (((HUG))) for you icon_sad.gif

I too know how you feel. It happens to the best of us and it's just one of those days.

Did the family say that the wedding day was ruined? probably not. at this point you do have to think "it's just cake" and you were able to take part in helping make their day special. maybe to help you feel better...you could make a small nice cake for the family and talk about what happened. Most of the time to get rid of the bad feelings you have to process it with others. icon_smile.gif good luck to you, you do have BEAUTIFUL work!

tmac670 Posted 15 Sep 2010 , 10:15pm
post #21 of 21

All I can say is "I feel your pain!"

But I implore you- don't let this stop you from your beautiful work. If you have only been doing this for 3 years- you have a natural talent that should not go to waste.

You will live to cake another day.

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