I Have Trouble Accepting Cake-Praise. Anyone Else?

Decorating By MrsNancyB1 Updated 19 Jul 2010 , 11:10pm by honeyscakes

MrsNancyB1 Posted 19 Jul 2010 , 8:22pm
post #1 of 25

I went to a birthday party this past Saturday, and the Belle cake below was my gift to the birthday girl.

Obviously I was happy to see the little girl so delighted with the cake, but then everyone started saying how 'great' the cake was, and how 'amazing' the cake was. People started coming up to me, gushing about the cake etc. I got so flustered and overwhelmed by all the attention, that I finally just left the room briefly.

Does anyone else have a difficult time with cake praise? I just hate all the attention to be honest. I really enjoy cake making, and that's why I do it. I do like the occassional pat on the back, but when it becomes that pronounced I become very shy!

Can anyone relate??

Image

24 replies
reginaherrin Posted 19 Jul 2010 , 8:33pm
post #2 of 25

First, let me say the cake is beautiful. Very good work. Is the belle part cake? And did you make the face part?

Second, I too have trouble excepting complements.. My sister constantly tells me how good the cakes are and how pretty my cakes look like and I usually just shrug it off and get a little pink. I don't know what to say and I guess not very good at taking complements.

indydebi Posted 19 Jul 2010 , 8:36pm
post #3 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsNancyB1

Does anyone else have a difficult time with cake praise?


Nope!! I'm arrogantly confident in what I do! icon_biggrin.gif I'm nowhere NEAR the talent of an Edna or a snarkybaker or many of the others on here, but dang ...... I do MUCH better than any of my friends or family! icon_biggrin.gif

And I say that's how we should ALL feel! When we deliver a cake, odds are good there's not another person in that room who can do what we just did! We should celebrate our talents that God gave us to share!

For the same reason you mentioned ...... hate the attention ...... I hate birthday wishes and congrats. To me, I didn't DO anything. I was the end result. Congratulate the person who gave birth. THEY did all the work. I am VERY uncomfortable accepting "praise" for something that didn't involve me actually doing anything. Which is why my family knows my birthday is "sometime in the winter, right mom?" icon_confused.gif And that's just fine wiht me.

But making a cake!? That's something *I* did! No one else did it. *I* did it! Wooo-whoo!!! thumbs_up.gif

cs_confections Posted 19 Jul 2010 , 8:37pm
post #4 of 25

Love Belle's dress! I bet the birthday girl loved it!!

I know how you feel - I usually counter by pointing out all of the flaws! Hubby elbows me to make me stop. Now on the drive to the birthday party, he makes sure to say, please don't point out everything wrong.

indydebi Posted 19 Jul 2010 , 8:43pm
post #5 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by cs_confections

I know how you feel - I usually counter by pointing out all of the flaws! Hubby elbows me to make me stop.


Geesh, I hate to agree with husbands but I'm on his side. STOP THAT!!!! I have a cousin in Texas and he'll be more than happy to hunt you down and slap you for me! icon_wink.gif

metria Posted 19 Jul 2010 , 8:47pm
post #6 of 25

i understand what you mean. if it's something i worked really really hard on, i'm fine with compliments. but if it's something i don't feel confident about or really didn't take me long to do, any sincere compliment totally puts me in a deer-in-headlights mentality.

cs_confections Posted 19 Jul 2010 , 8:48pm
post #7 of 25

Lol indydebi! I don't mean to - it's just a reaction. It's like I feel I don't deserve the compliment because I KNOW it's not perfect - though I did learn on CC that even the best decorators have bad cake days. They just know how to deal with them much better!

indydebi Posted 19 Jul 2010 , 8:52pm
post #8 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by cs_confections

Lol indydebi! I don't mean to - it's just a reaction. It's like I feel I don't deserve the compliment because I KNOW it's not perfect - though I did learn on CC that even the best decorators have bad cake days. They just know how to deal with them much better!


I looked at your photos. You don't have one cake that looks as bad as this one I did .... which I have dubbed "Crappy Cake Day Award" Cake!!

http://cakecentral.com/modules.php?name=gallery&file=displayimage&pid=1492272

Elcee Posted 19 Jul 2010 , 9:08pm
post #9 of 25
Quote:
Quote:

Does anyone else have a difficult time with cake praise?




Me, me (waving hand in the air)! I tend to reply to compliments with "Thanks, but I wish..." or "Thanks, but if you knew how easy this was..." and the kicker is that for the most part I know I make pretty nice cakes. I am working on stopping at "thanks" icon_smile.gif.

BTW, your Belle is gorgeous!

MrsNancyB1 Posted 19 Jul 2010 , 9:15pm
post #10 of 25

I'm glad that there are others who can relate. I guess a part of me feels that anyone can really learn to do what I do if they just took the time to learn. I guess I just don't feel that what I'm doing is over-the-top extraordinary, since I basically learned through experimentation and whatever I've read here, or watched on youtube.

Thanks for the compliments too...(how's that for irony??) icon_razz.gif

Quote:
Quote:

Is the belle part cake? And did you make the face part?




Belle's dress is all cake, and the torso and face were shaped from gumpaste. The face is all gumpaste, and the hair is modelling chocolate. I painted the face using airbrush colors, and the tiniest brush I could find at Michaels.

jcstefanick Posted 19 Jul 2010 , 9:17pm
post #11 of 25

I know how you guys feel. I am the same way, though I'm getting better at it. I too, used to respond by pointing out all the flaws I saw. I think some of it has to do with confidence level... I still feel very much like a beginner who is learning so much every day. But I am realizing that while I still have a lot to learn, that doesn't take away from the amazing things I HAVE learned to do and produced in cake form.
Now instead of shying away from the compliments, I simply respond with, I just really enjoy doing this, so I'm glad you like how it turned out.
It's still hard for me, though, so I know what you mean!

JulieMN Posted 19 Jul 2010 , 9:19pm
post #12 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elcee

Quote:
Quote:

Does anyone else have a difficult time with cake praise?



Me, me (waving hand in the air)! I tend to reply to compliments with "Thanks, but I wish..." or "Thanks, but if you knew how easy this was..." and the kicker is that for the most part I know I make pretty nice cakes. I am working on stopping at "thanks" icon_smile.gif.




Or..."Thanks but if you only knew what I really wanted to do....." I have to stop at "thanks" too....and work up to Indydebi's recommendations!

kger Posted 19 Jul 2010 , 9:26pm
post #13 of 25

I'm so bad, that I sometimes won't attend the party ( I just make cakes for friends right now). I drop off the cake in the morning and make up some excuse why we can't attend. I've also told friends that I'll bring the cake, based on the condition that they don't tell anyone I made it.

cutthecake Posted 19 Jul 2010 , 9:30pm
post #14 of 25

Your Belle cake is beautiful!

We were at a party the other day for a relative. I didn't even make the cake, and people were talking about and praising previous cakes I had made. I was mortified because the host had provided a lovely and delicious cake for his wife's birthday, but people were talking about stuff I had done for other occasions. They even produced pictures on their phones of earlier cakes I had made.
I can handle being the center of attention for about one compliment, then I get embarrassed. I really enjoy putting a smile on the recipient's face, and I love learning to do new things. That's the joy for me.

Texas_Rose Posted 19 Jul 2010 , 9:31pm
post #15 of 25

Just say, "Thanks. It was a pleasure making this cake." And leave it at that. It's a great cake and you know it, so let other people acknowledge it too icon_biggrin.gif

leafO Posted 19 Jul 2010 , 9:32pm
post #16 of 25

Beautiful cake! I bet the birthday girl was thrilled icon_smile.gif You have some serious talent!

KathysCC Posted 19 Jul 2010 , 9:54pm
post #17 of 25

Am I embarassed by praise? NO WAY! I LOVE it when people like my work and LOVE it when they are amazed!

You know what I say? "Oh thanks so much, I have a lot of fun with my cakes." or "Oh thanks, isn't it just so much fun?" or "Thanks, I'm so glad the kids are loving it!"

Sometimes the best response to praise is to just go with it. People don't seek you out to give you false praise. Accept it and let them know that you did it for the fun and the kids. To be honest, if you accept praise by pointing out flaws, then it often looks like you are fishing for more compliments (not saying you are, but experience has taught me that it does sound that way).

I'm not that old (aahem... icon_biggrin.gif ) but one thing I've learned in life is that people who are able to accept praise well just leave a better impression than those who do not.

flamingobaker Posted 19 Jul 2010 , 10:29pm
post #18 of 25

I, too, am speaking as someone who THRIVES on the praise!
(I have 1 customer I almost think I would bake for free for her because she gets SO excited when I deliver her cakes!)

I think it is much more charming to say simply"thank you" or add"it was so much fun to make" (my favorite BTW)

When someone starts pointing out flaws after they have been given a compliment, it almost makes the complimentor feel bad

I know they aren't praising because it is PERFECT, they are praising because it is beautiful/thoughtful/interesting/creative/well done...etc...

GenGen Posted 19 Jul 2010 , 10:33pm
post #19 of 25

when i'm really pleased and happy with how a cake i've done turns out i LOVe talking about how it was created and came to be etc lol.. but when a cake turns out like the one i did this weekend which wasn't bad but did not turn out as nice as the vision i had had of it- then i dont like showing the pic off let alone the praise for it. but it does make me feel better they were happy with it and loved it. i told her "I can guarantee it tastes wonderful lol"

the cake i made this weekend was a jagermeister bottle on top of a base cake two layers high, the base cake was half WASC and half devilsfood chocolate with a basic buttercream filling. and home buttercream mmf (i call it buttercream flavor mmf cause i add both vanilla and clear butter extract lol)

i'm still not sure i should post it here but thats because its not a very good quality photo - it was taken with my phone camera - icon_cool.gif

FlourPots Posted 19 Jul 2010 , 10:41pm
post #20 of 25

A comment left on a photo is about the only praise I can handle.

If it's in person, it's extremely hard to hear...I just don't feel good enough to deserve some of what I've been told. I tend to minimize it by telling myself that they're family/friends, they have to say that....or they haven't been exposed to this type of design before...and of course, they haven't seen what I've seen done in cake, if so, they would know that I have a long way to go...I've even said this one out loud!

Hopefully after a few more years, or a certain number of cakes, I don't know...maybe I'll feel worthy.

Oh, that sounds so boo-hoo, LOL!

indydebi Posted 19 Jul 2010 , 10:44pm
post #21 of 25

flamingobaker, what ARE we going to do with these people!? We gotta, as the line goes in "Cool Hand Luke" ...... "get their MIND RIGHT!!!" icon_eek.gificon_lol.gif

BakedAlaska Posted 19 Jul 2010 , 10:59pm
post #22 of 25

You're right, indy... That cake stunk. <tee hee hee> (Good design concept though!)

As for Belle... now THAT'S a beauty! Love the pretty face.

Much of the reason I enjoy doing cakes is for the joy I see on the faces of recipients. It's certainly not for the endless, sleep-deprived Friday nights trying to whip up a bunch of last minute gumpaste roses for a cake due in 6 hours... watching Tonedna's youtube tutorials like my life depended on it at 3am... wishing a dish fairy would show up so I wouldn't have to wash that Kitchen Aid bowl AGAIN before making another batch of BC (indydebi's of course) because I ran out before I finished icing the 3rd tier...

Nope. I do it for the appreciation. And for the joy I have myself when a cake turns out well.

cutthecake Posted 19 Jul 2010 , 11:01pm
post #23 of 25

We need Assertiveness Training for Cakers, along with Confidence Building Seminars.

honeyscakes Posted 19 Jul 2010 , 11:10pm
post #24 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi

Quote:
Originally Posted by cs_confections

I know how you feel - I usually counter by pointing out all of the flaws! Hubby elbows me to make me stop.

Geesh, I hate to agree with husbands but I'm on his side. STOP THAT!!!! I have a cousin in Texas and he'll be more than happy to hunt you down and slap you for me! icon_wink.gif



Indydebi! I'm in Texas too icon_twisted.gif
ummm nope!I don't have any issues accepting Thank yous and OMG I can't believe you made this for ME !!!
I made a tiny gumpaste replica of Bryan Adams's Fender from his album Room Service, and I took it to his concert last year.I don't know how the security people allowed me to take it inside...and how I got to the stage ...I refused to give the master piece to any security personal or any agent,I told them,"I made this for Bryan and he will take it from MY hands"
and when they stopped the concert in the middle...and he took it from me,and said, "I can't believe you made this for ME" ahhhhhhhhhhhh I was in Heaven!!! icon_biggrin.gif
I love it when someone tells me how much they loved the cake.
- h

honeyscakes Posted 19 Jul 2010 , 11:10pm
post #25 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by leafO

Beautiful cake! I bet the birthday girl was thrilled icon_smile.gif You have some serious talent!



I second that!

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