thank you thank you thank you! My first gut reaction was that the said "allergy" felt a bit hinky. I'm definately gonna ask for specifics. Thank you everyone for your support & advice
I would ask specifically what she is allergic to...because box mixes and scratch recipes all have pretty much the same ingredients - flour, baking powder, baking soda etc... Unless it's a specific preservative or chemical that may be in mixes (remember the sulfites in salad bar warnings) she may have an allergy to. You may be able to find a box mix at a health food store (Whole Foods, Trader Joes or similar)...that doesn't have that particular item.
I haven't read all three pages, so forgive me if this has been said before.
Cake mixes have partially hydrogenated shortening in them. You can make a scratch cake without this ingredient. I mention this because there was a thread on here recently where someone discovered that her DD was allergic to this ingredient.
So included with the chemicals added, it could be the fat stuff added to.
Good grief! Can't the MOG just eat the chocolate?
My sentiments exactly. I'd insist on knowing what her exact allergy is "for legal reasons" and assure her that the cake will not contain that. Or, if you cannot assure that, I'd let her know that you cannot accomodate. Seriously, she'd have to be allergic to a preservative or something. And it wouldn't just be boxed cakes. It would be pre-made/boxed anything just about.
I'm not saying she's lying, I'm just saying, in that situation, she would probably already be resigned to the fact that she's never going to eat in public again.
Melvira,
You bring up a good point.
There is something in premade stuff. I wish I could remember what it is. I had a freind who had a son who had this problem. The only thing I can remember right now is he couldn't eat the Pillsbury crescent rolls and I remember once she had to check the ingredient list of hotdogs too. Luckily at the time I had just bought some kind of all natural locally made hot dog I had in the freezer. I wish I could remember what it was she was looking for in the ingredient list, but it was so long ago.
I wish I could remember what my cousin was recently diagnosed with. I'm embarrassed that I can't remember, but the point of the story is that she cannot eat out, she cannot eat at someone else's house, she can only eat certain things. And as much as people try to center their celebrations on something other than food these days, there are times that she realizes she's going to have to sit and watch people eat. There are unavoidable situations, you know? I'd say a wedding qualifies. Not that I'm at all insensitive to their needs, but sometimes it's easier to be concerned with the vast majority of the other 200+ guests and let the needs of ONE person be slightly less of a focal point. Perhaps the bride should arrange for MOG to have a special treat made just for her in her honor, and let the rest of the cake be the delicious beautiful creation you already planned.
Dude ... I have been texting back & forth with the B2B asking her what exactly the allergy is & ya know, poking & prodding & being relentless about the issue 
she couldn't tell me & just said the her face swells up whenever she eats from a box 
I still think its a less than true request but whatever *shrug*
If this is true I would really get what she is allergic to...I would be freaked out that there is some mystery allergen that could make the MOB swell up possibly in the cake. I would say tell me the specific or I can't make the cake. Harsh, but it is scary dealing with allergies!
Ayanami - gowith your gut; there is no allergy. You know what you do - tell the B2B that you need to know the specific nature of the allergy because box mixes and scratch mixes are basically the same - flour, sugar, etc. and then sees what she says. And then if not, just let her know that you will have to up the price. Let me ask you this, when she booked you, was she aware that you used extended box mix recipies?
Stuff like this just floors me. I recently got a request for a gluten-free cake, which I don't make and have no desire to learn to make. I admit, I know nothing about gluten-free baking, but why would you want to subject your entire wedding to a gluten-free cake? I am sure there are a handful of gluten-free bakers that do an awesome job and their cakes taste great, but I would have to think those are few and far between. My son has a ton of food allergies (dairy, eggs, nuts, peanuts, tree nuts, fish, shellfish) and if he still has those when he grows up and gets married, I will insist that he get a "regular" cake on his wedding day. I have tried to make vegan cakes for him and they just don't taste right. Again, it's not because they can't, it's just I don't have the knowledge on how to make a good one and it just seems a lot easier for everyone to just get a "normal" cake, scratch or box.
Stuff like this just floors me. I recently got a request for a gluten-free cake, which I don't make and have no desire to learn to make. I admit, I know nothing about gluten-free baking, but why would you want to subject your entire wedding to a gluten-free cake? I am sure there are a handful of gluten-free bakers that do an awesome job and their cakes taste great, but I would have to think those are few and far between. My son has a ton of food allergies (dairy, eggs, nuts, peanuts, tree nuts, fish, shellfish) and if he still has those when he grows up and gets married, I will insist that he get a "regular" cake on his wedding day. I have tried to make vegan cakes for him and they just don't taste right. Again, it's not because they can't, it's just I don't have the knowledge on how to make a good one and it just seems a lot easier for everyone to just get a "normal" cake, scratch or box.
You know considering that the bride and groom generally only get to eat the one bite they serve to each other at the wedding, and that parents of brides and groom rarely get to taste it all since they're usually working the room, it only makes sense to cater to the masses instead of the one. I was a recent MOB and if I were the one with allergies, I certainly would not be insisting that my daughter's entire cake cater to my needs. Small cakes can be made to address those situations if necessary. I too would be interested in finding out what the exact nature of the allergy is that is relegated only to box cakes.
I see the above two posters' points, however, being gluten intolerant myself (and I LOVE(d) cake 
) - if I were having my wedding now (I didn't know I was Gluten Intolerant when I got married), I would certainly want some cake that I could eat too. I'd be pretty disappointed if I couldn't find anyone who could or would accommodate that. I'm not saying that every baker should provide allergen free cakes, but I'd go and find someone who did do that as a specialty. Being allergic to foods puts you in an uncomfortable position in environments where the celebration is centered around food and it's truly a gift when other people consider your needs. Having an food allergy is disappointing and difficult sometimes and it makes it even harder when people think you're being a PITA just for wanting to eat safely.
Not trying to stir the pot here, but just trying to give an understanding from another point of view.
Ibeing allergic to foods puts you in an uncomfortable position in environments where the celebration is centered around food and it's truly a gift when other people consider your needs. Having an food allergy is disappointing and difficult sometimes and it makes it even harder when people think you're being a PITA just for wanting to eat safely.
Not trying to stir the pot here, but just trying to give an understanding from another point of view.
In this instance the person claiming an allergy is only allergic to 'box cake'...and it's not even the bride. No one is saying not to accommodate her...a small cake is a possible option, but in my opinion she could just eat the chocolate scratch cake and not eat the bridal cake. If a bride has chosen a specific cake at her tasting, to later come in and request a different recipe for her entire cake to accommodate ONE person is asking for trouble--and extra expense. We all have issues in life. My daughter has asthma but wouldn't presume to tell someone they couldn't hold an event outdoors to accommodate her. She also is allergic to oranges. Guess what? She doesn't eat oranges...even if that's whats on the plate.
I don't think I'd want to make someone change an entire recipe to something that may or may not taste as good and have everyone eat like me just so I could have a piece of cake. But being aware of a situation and accommodating it without going overboard is possible. The key words here are 'not going overboard'.
{I don't think I'd want to make someone change an entire recipe to something that may or may not taste as good and have everyone eat like me just so I could have a piece of cake. But being aware of a situation and accommodating it without going overboard is possible. The key words here are 'not going overboard'.}
Yes, and I agree. I had posted previously in this thread about asking for the specific allergy (b/c frankly, I'm not sure if there is one). But, my point was just to have a little more compassion for an allergy situation...the posts sounded like they were getting a little harsh regarding being accommodating. I'm not saying they should have a special, allergen-free cake just for the MOB or MOG, I was just suggesting that if the person ordering the cake is asking for a special request (whether we, as the baker can fulfill that request or not) that we remain respectful towards them.
I guess I was just taken aback with the comment that one person was "floored" at the gluten free request. We can either fulfill a request, or not, but if the consumer wants to pay for and serve a gluten free cake, why should we be floored at the request?
(One of the BEST cakes I've ever eaten was a gluten-free, vegan caramelized apple cake from an LA bakery....I still dream about that cake and would be happy to serve it to people who don't have to eat vegan or gluten free....those types of cakes can be done well and sometimes the consumer just doesn't know who to go to to ask for such a thing.)
If someone were to come to me with a request for an allergy free cake, if I couldn't handle that request, I'd ask some questions, find out how many people would be eating it (is it 10 people out of the 100 invited, say, who need the allergy free cake?), then suggest that we do a cake to serve the other 90 with what I do, and send them somewhere who could produce an allergy free cake for the other 10 folks...
I once had a prima donna "friend" who tried to convince me she had no sweat glands. She was just that much of a princess. Sorry, but I would have to put this girl in the same category.
Maybe her face swells up because she eats the WHOLE box mix cake (because the thing is so darn good)
Seriously, I worked in a medical lab for 10 years where we did allergy testing along with a ton of others. If she truely is allergic to something in the box then she should get it checked out. It's really easy to narrow it down. You can even have an allergy to the dyes like "red #5" and so on.
I would suggest that because you don't know the exact ingredient she is allergic to then maybe she should just stick with the chocolate or not have any cake at all. The last thing you want to happen is her to say "I told you so" while having an allergic reaction then everyone will start pointing fingers at you! Or better yet, tell the bride or who ever is in charge of the cake. Don't let this turn into a liability issue.
MJoy... as I said in my post, my son has a ton of allergies... I am not being insensitive. I have made all of his birthday cakes... and I make one small one for him and regular cake for all the guests. If the request was for a small gluten-free cake, I might have given it a shot. I personally just don't want to subject everyone to the "whatever-free" cakes, knowing the ones I make aren't the greatest. Maybe I am abnormal...
Any chance this bride and her mom are trying to make sure it's a scratch cake they are getting? Did you tell them before that you bake chocolate from scratch and white from a box? Maybe the bride's mom asked her if she had made sure that the cakes were from scratch - allergy or not. Maybe it's a good excuse to make sure it's a scratch cake... and if you said that your chocolate is from scratch, perhaps they assume you must also be able to make white cake from scratch. Just a thought.
If it really was an allergy or food intolerance and it was my mom, I, too, would want my cake to be made for her to be able to eat. Why not? At least in my wedding, my parents were a big part of the day (and were footing the bill!)
I also believe that what they want is that both cakes be made from scratch; there is no allergy, but they figure if they say there is an allergy then they are assured of a scratch cake. For example - and I know this is terrible - I hate parsley and in some restaurants they put parsley in everything or even use it as a garnish/plate decoration, so I usually ask if there is parsley in the dish and fib saying that I am allergic so that parsley does not touch my dish in any way.
I also believe that what they want is that both cakes be made from scratch; there is no allergy, but they figure if they say there is an allergy then they are assured of a scratch cake. For example - and I know this is terrible - I hate parsley and in some restaurants they put parsley in everything or even use it as a garnish/plate decoration, so I usually ask if there is parsley in the dish and fib saying that I am allergic so that parsley does not touch my dish in any way.
I think this is it exactly. Since the BTB is avoiding your questions it makes me feel even more strongly that this is all an act to get scratch cake. I don't understand why they wouldn't just ask you though.
I would stress that you absolutley have to know what it is in the box mix that she is allergic to otherwise that same ingredient could end up in the scratch cake as well and you don't want to take any chances of her getting sick. If it were me and she couldn't tell me what it was MOB is sensitive to then I'd suggest to her that her mother not eat cake at all. You can't be sure that any of the cake you bake is going to be safe. Maybe if you play it up with them they'll back off and be honest.
I would think the lady would know if she was allergic to flour, eggs, butter, milk, buttermilk, sugar or vanilla. If it was one of those, she wouldn't say she was allergic to box cake. What exactly is it that everyone keeps saying would be in the scratch cake that is also in box cake that she'd be allergic to? If she's allergic for real, it would be to a preservative or a dye. And I'm going to guess it's not a dye, since there is probably some color going on the cake in decoration somewhere.
I really think the point here is that they want a scratch cake. I don't think it matters what exactly she is allergic to in box mix (if she's actually allergic) because she obviously knows she "can" eat scratch cake (and most scratch white cakes have the same ingredients, just different proportions).
I can't figure out why most people here aren't just saying... either you make her a scratch cake or you tell her you don't do scratch white cakes. I'm not sure why everyone is making the MOB out to be a villain. Even if it's not an allergy, the woman (and probably the bride) just wants her cake to be from scratch - not a sin, right?
I agree that I think she/they just want to make sure that they get the "best " cake possible ... which in their opinion is scratch not box.
I 100% understand food allergies, my dad's side of the family (including myself) are all ... "sensitive" to onions. I don't know that I would say allergic only b/c I think of allergies as being more physical (swelling, suffocating, hives, etc.) we have alot of sneezing, coughing, sinus pressure, watery eyes, mild vomiting ... 
I don't say "i can't eat mexican food" I say "i can't eat onions" 2 completely different things!
... Anyways! LOL
I was texting back & forth with the B2B the other night & asked her to be more specific but she just danced around it & was really really vague. I told her that I was researching it online & consulting with fellow cakerators to try & come up with a safe recipe.
Her final text to me was :
B2B ~ Wow, thnx. Don't stress over it though! Just as long as the cake taste awesome! I'll just tell her to take a benedryl before eating it .. lol Yeah, okay!
forward that text to your e-mail and print it for future reference when she complains about something.
I would NOT be trying out new recipes 2 weeks before the wedding. Seriously. Is the bride going to pay for the extra expense you are about to incur just beause MOB is allergic to "Box Mixes"? And what happens if you can't find a recipe that works?
I do not believe she has an allergy. Anyone who is actually allergic to a food product generally knows what it is and can tell you specifically what it is. Trust me, they would have brought this issue up at the tasting or long before this IF it were actually an issue. This woman just wants to make sure you are making the cake from scratch.
I would go ahead and make the cake you were orginally going to make. I bet anything she doesn't get sick and they rave about the taste.
Just to CYA though I would tell the bride that after giving it thought you are sticking with the cake they originally ordered and advise MOB not to eat it if she is worried about getting sick. I serioulsly doubt she's going to cancel the order and if they do then you dodged a bullet.
On a side note - I have an allergy clause in my contract.
Do I have this correct? The bride does not know what her mother is allergic to?
My mom is allergic to sulfa drugs. My nephew is allergic to something in melons. I know this. I know this because I spend time with them so I need to know this just in case something happens.
My mom "used" to be allergic to mayo. She finally fessed up that she just doesn't like it. Why did she lie all those years? I dunno.
I find it very suspicious that the bride doesn't know- unless she's a self-centered prima donna. I think you'd know that by now, though. Maybe.
Put me in the column with "I think this is bullsh*t".
If I puffed out all over my face when I ate a cake from a mix, you bet your a$$ I'd be at the doctor's office the next day to find out what the hell is going on!
I've been in a "I'm sick of putting up with people like this!" all week long so in my present state of mind, I'd be handing them the deposit back and telling them that under advice from my attorney and my insurance company, I think they need to find another baker who can make "Some kind" of cake she can eat .... whatever that may be.
Some people need to learn that lying has consequences .... and the consequence here is they have to find another baker just weeks before the wedding.
Stepping down ... soapbox put away. (for now! )
what if her allergy is gluten
then she couldn't eat any cake, scratch or not, unless it was made with some kind of rice flour/cornstarch/tapioca flour etc... If the allergy here was gluten, there is NO WAY it wouldn't have been mentioned by now
And another thing.......! 
This also sounds like a mom who needs to be the center of attention, even if it's her own daughter's wedding. "Look how special *I* am .... *I* have to have a special cake! Everyone should feel sorry for *ME* because it's so HARD for *ME* to enjoy the same things as everyone else!" blah. blah. blah. And bluntly I think she's making it up as she goes.
(told you .... I'm in a mood!)
And another thing.......!
This also sounds like a mom who needs to be the center of attention, even if it's her own daughter's wedding. "Look how special *I* am .... *I* have to have a special cake! Everyone should feel sorry for *ME* because it's so HARD for *ME* to enjoy the same things as everyone else!" blah. blah. blah. And bluntly I think she's making it up as she goes.
(told you .... I'm in a mood!)
Have you met my mother in law? 
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