Was This A Compliment Or An Insult???...

Decorating By Mikel79 Updated 13 Nov 2012 , 4:57pm by msterba

Mikel79 Posted 10 Jul 2010 , 2:07am
post #1 of 44

Hi Cakers!

I made a cake for a police graduation party this weekend. One of the ladies at the party turns to me and says, " I don't know any WOMEN that can make a cake like that!"

What the he**. Just because I am a man, does not mean us guys cannot be good at cake decorating/making like the ladies! Maybe I am reading more into it. I just smiled and said thank you.

A little while later someone asked me a question about the cake, after I answered one of the guys in the back said...."I can hang sheet rock on a wall pretty well"...... ???? Good for you I thought...

Stereotypes, you gotta love them...

Just thought I would share, thought it was funny.

Take care,
Michael

43 replies
ladyellam Posted 10 Jul 2010 , 2:15am
post #2 of 44

You handled yourself very well. I probably would have said something a bit snippy. My grandfather was an incredible baker, auto mechanic, construction worker and his real job was being a cowboy and running a ranch and used to braid our long hair into the most beautiful braids. I can hang sheetrock, bake a cake, run a forklift and bobcat, run water pipes and wear 4 inch heels without any trouble.

It's so sad when people think you are only one sided.

You also could have told them "yup, I can walk AND chew gum at the same time, too!"

thatslifeca Posted 10 Jul 2010 , 2:27am
post #3 of 44

You also could have told them "yup, I can walk AND chew gum at the same time, too!"

LMAO....I love that line! Who cares what they say..Buddy from cake boss is a guy, Italian no less. What about the Duff...from Charm City Cakes...really now. Jealousy will get them no where. When I had a baker my business partner was a man, and HE would cover the cakes in fondant...I lack that talent. Be proud..I think the lady said it as a complement. icon_biggrin.gif

msthang1224 Posted 10 Jul 2010 , 2:29am
post #4 of 44

Wow, they both have some nerve. Well, just like what was already said, you did do a good job at not biting back. Good for you! Its not your fault that they sound insecure about themselves or their abilities. Oh well, keep on baking!

thatslifeca Posted 10 Jul 2010 , 2:29am
post #5 of 44

AND your cakes are beautiful by the way....I wanted to add that and I forgot...icon_smile.gif

Mikel79 Posted 10 Jul 2010 , 2:31am
post #6 of 44

Thanks!

Yea, I think she meant it to be a nice compliment. icon_biggrin.gif

I like the walking and chewing line. Maybe next time.

Thanks,
Michael

metria Posted 10 Jul 2010 , 2:31am
post #7 of 44

they don't know any better nor how ignorant they sound. heck, at Austin's upcoming Day of Sharing, 3 out of the 4 guest demonstrators are guys. i'm just surprised you didn't get bombarded with questions about cake boss and ace of cakes.

matthewkyrankelly Posted 10 Jul 2010 , 2:35am
post #8 of 44

That's OK Mike. I occasionally find myself explaining that can also rebuild a carburetor before I catch myself.

Making a cake that takes good, not always easy. Making a cake that looks good - tough. Making a cake that does both and won't fall over - well that's just art.

Oh - and Pollock just spilled paint on canvas.

luv2bake4u Posted 10 Jul 2010 , 2:46am
post #9 of 44

I can relate. I am a female police officer. When people learn that I am an officer I often hear, "You mean you ride in a squad car all by yourself." I use to get annoyed when I was younger but not anymore. The longer I have done this job the more secure I have become and am very proud to say what I do. I then try to turn the conversation to cakes..... haha icon_biggrin.gif

Joshua_Alan Posted 10 Jul 2010 , 2:50am
post #10 of 44

Take it as a compliment and move on! I'm a guy who bakes, but I also play bass in a rock band, was the First Officer of a motorcycle club, worked construction for 8 years, play full contact football and slow pitch softball almost every week. For what most of us on here do, this is more of an art form than the overused 'only women bake' stereotype.

Fuck 'em if they're jealous icon_wink.gif

Karen421 Posted 10 Jul 2010 , 2:54am
post #11 of 44

I would take it as a compliment! thumbs_up.gif Eventually everyone will figure out that men can bake and women can build or rebuild carburetors! My favorite, (and best I have ever eaten), cheesecake recipe was created by Uncle!

mpetty Posted 10 Jul 2010 , 2:54am
post #12 of 44

I take it as a compliment. I think that nowadays "the average joe and jane" tend to associate women pretty exclusively with cake decorating and think of it as primarily a woman's skill - not realizing that long ago it was a man's domain. I think she meant that even those, who in her mind are the naturals at decorating, can't decorate cakes as well as you did.

Kind of like a man telling a woman that they've never seen a man rebuild that carburetor like she just did.

indydebi Posted 10 Jul 2010 , 2:55am
post #13 of 44

I think the sheetrock comment was just to illustrate his limited artistic ability .... I think he was trying to be funny and it kinda bombed. Like those people who are looking at a fine piece of art and say, "I can draw a straight line with a ruler and that's about it."

luv2bake4u, my hubby's sister was in law enforcement and when she first joined up, some guy asked her, "What are you going to do if 6 big guys surround you and threaten to beat you up?" She replied to this man, "I don't know .... what would YOU do if 6 big guys surround YOU and threaten to beat YOU up?"

I thought that was a pretty good response! icon_biggrin.gif

Rylan Posted 10 Jul 2010 , 2:56am
post #14 of 44

Very well handled Michael!

I hate it too when people assume that men cannot decorate. My gosh, there was this one lady who rudely said (not even asked), "Do you EVEN know what fondant IS?!". Also, many times, I find people looking at me as if I don't know anything about cakes. I hate it--especially when I go to cake decorating shops and the people who work there look (even act) at me as if I do not belong there.

JulieMN Posted 10 Jul 2010 , 3:10am
post #15 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rylan

I hate it--especially when I go to cake decorating shops and the people who work there look (even act) at me as if I do not belong there.




Rylan, if they had ANY idea of what you can create from the supplies you purchase from them.....

Rylan Posted 10 Jul 2010 , 3:13am
post #16 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by JulieMN



Rylan, if they had ANY idea of what you can create from the supplies you purchase from them.....




Hehehe Julie, wait...is that an insult or a compliment? Hahaha icon_smile.gif

cheriej Posted 10 Jul 2010 , 3:15am
post #17 of 44

You handled yourself well Michael. Don't get down to their level. Just continue to act with grace, dignity, tact and well, good manners! Good for you!

4realLaLa Posted 10 Jul 2010 , 3:37am
post #18 of 44

I don't think that was a compliment. Some of the best bakers/cooks in the world are men. For instance, my hubby made me a pineapple upside down cake for mother's day and it was the BOMB!

Glad you didn't take offense though. thumbs_up.gif

Vkandis Posted 10 Jul 2010 , 3:50am
post #19 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikel79

Hi Cakers!

Just because I am a man, does not mean us guys cannot be good at cake decorating/making like the ladies!
Stereotypes, you gotta love them...




If you were trying to be clever or cute with this my apologies, however, it is a bit surprising given your statement about stereotypes that your response to the initial comment misses how insulting the comment is to women (and not you). Claiming that you can be just as good as the ladies not only reiterates the assumption that baking and decorating is the province of women (I as a man can be just as good at something as they are), it completely elides the fact that historically professional baking/decorating has been dominated by men. All of the professional culinary arts have been dominated by men.

Frankly Cake Boss is not an example that men can be bakers/decorators as it shows how women have historically been excluded from professional baking/decorating. Any long time watcher of the show will know 1) that women until recently were not hired to be decorators and 2) none of the women in Buddys extended family bake or decorate. At least on one episode Buddy discussed how his father would not hire women to work in the bakery as bakers/decorators.

Thus what Cake Boss shows is the exclusion of women from professional baking and decorating. If women were allowed in the bakery it was to sell what the men in the family made. Never wonder why all his female relatives work the counter and none of them bake or decoratewhich a recent episode highlighted? All of the males want to bake/decorate but not one of the females do? Of course Buddy is the head decorator. This is a much a product of stereotypical thinking as the comment that implies that men are somehow suspect as bakers/decorators because that is womens work understood as something that was done in the home.

In fact what the comment about not knowing women that can bake that well simply highlights that baking for the family was done by women. It reiterates that professional baking was the province of men which the comment completely erases. Professional baking which you are doing has a long history of being dominated by men, only by ignoring that history can you see it as womens work. Thus I would not be so quick to chortle about how we (yes I am a male) can bake/decorate just as good as the ladies. Yes the comment to which you are responding is stereotypical but it reflects a stereotype that serves to confine women to the home while erasing the long history of men dominating professional baking/decorating.

Bakingangel Posted 10 Jul 2010 , 4:35am
post #20 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rylan

Very well handled Michael!

I hate it too when people assume that men cannot decorate. My gosh, there was this one lady who rudely said (not even asked), "Do you EVEN know what fondant IS?!". Also, many times, I find people looking at me as if I don't know anything about cakes. I hate it--especially when I go to cake decorating shops and the people who work there look (even act) at me as if I do not belong there.




Rylan that's the time to whip out your wallet and show them some pics! I'd love to see their faces!

Unlimited Posted 10 Jul 2010 , 4:43am
post #21 of 44

Compliment... definitely!

JohnnyCakes1966 Posted 10 Jul 2010 , 4:50am
post #22 of 44

The fact is, it happens on this site all the time. I can't tell you how many times I've added my 2 cents to a thread and someone says, "Thanks ladies for the advice!!" or "You ladies are awesome!!!" It is very often assumed that the people on here are women.

My name is JohnnyCakes. I am a baker and cake decorator...and a man. icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

carcake Posted 10 Jul 2010 , 5:20am
post #23 of 44

I am also a guy and i get those types of reactions on my cakes. Some people don't even believe i make the cakes. And Johnny i totally agree with you. icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif

cakeville82 Posted 10 Jul 2010 , 5:20am
post #24 of 44

As long as we are talking about equal rights between men and women it is a fact that historically women have dominated the birthing process.
I for one think it's a extremely unfair that men have been excluded from this joyous act and it's time you men take a stand, form a posse, grab your pitch forks and fight for your right to gain 60lbs, have strangers rub your belly and then be in pain for 13hrs.
Attica Attica Attica

catlharper Posted 10 Jul 2010 , 5:22am
post #25 of 44

Mike...next time...wink and a smile and say "Many of the best one's are..." I find it amazing, in a profession dominated by men, that many people think only women make cakes...amazing!

Cat

hollyml Posted 10 Jul 2010 , 7:42am
post #26 of 44

Ya know, sheetrock work? A lot like cake.

I'm pretty good, for an amateur, at both. Joint compound and taping knife or buttercream and icing spatula, the skills are often the same. icon_smile.gif

Anyway, it was a weird comment, but obviously meant as a compliment. Oddly enough, just tonight I had a conversation with my son about how there are more female than male cake decorators, but most of the famous or top-paid pastry chefs are men. Gotta raise consciousness in the next generation! He's nine, I was letting him help me ice a cake and showing him a technique, and he made some comment about mostly women do cakes...which is particularly odd, come to think of it, given that of the adults in our social circle who like to bake and/or decorate cakes, I think a majority are men! (Of course none of them are as good as MOM! icon_smile.gif)

elvisb Posted 10 Jul 2010 , 8:04am
post #27 of 44

I actually use a spackling knife to smooth out my cakes! Bet the sheetrock guy never thought of that!

And for you guys, I am a woman, and I have to say that some of the best cooks and bakers I know are men! My husband hates to be in the kitchen unless it's to fill his plate, so I have a deep respect for those guys out there who enjoy being in the kitchen. My 9 YO son loves to bake with me, and I hope that continues. Just keep doing what you love and forget about the ones who don't get it.

Rose_N_Crantz Posted 10 Jul 2010 , 9:38am
post #28 of 44

I remember when I was planning to transfer to another bakery that was closer to my home. My boss was telling me a bit about the new place and she mentioned that there was a male decorator there. I was like "Whhaaaaa??" But after the initial reaction I thought, well, why not? Now with Cake Boss and Ace of Cakes, both male leaders.

indydebi Posted 10 Jul 2010 , 11:04am
post #29 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by cakeville82

Attica Attica Attica


LMAO!!!!!! icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif (And how many on here are too young to "get it"? LOL!)

Mikel79 Posted 10 Jul 2010 , 11:20am
post #30 of 44

If you were trying to be clever or cute with this my apologies, however, it is a bit surprising given your statement about stereotypes that your response to the initial comment misses how insulting the comment is to women (and not you). Claiming that you can be just as good as the ladies not only reiterates the assumption that baking and decorating is the province of women (I as a man can be just as good at something as they are), it completely elides the fact that historically professional baking/decorating has been dominated by men. All of the professional culinary arts have been dominated by men.

Vkandis...

Not by any means did I mean to insult women!
To any female that has read this post, please accept my deepest apologies if you took any kind of insult to it.

Thanks,

Michael

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