Ok One More, Baby Shower Post Birth, Is This Ok?

Decorating By yamber82 Updated 7 Jul 2010 , 6:26am by hollyml

yamber82 Posted 4 Jul 2010 , 10:17pm
post #1 of 21

for me again, i have always wanted to make a belly cake but the party is after the baby is bown. would that still be appropriate? with the saying "goodbye tummy, hello mommy". i really think it's adorable and they look super easy. just wondering if a belly cake would be weird to have AFTER the baby is born?

also not sure how to word the invites, bday for one and shower for the other. someone suggested "happy bday... both names..." which would kinda work but i think that would sound like less of a baby shower ykwim?

20 replies
Marianna46 Posted 4 Jul 2010 , 10:38pm
post #2 of 21

I love the idea of the "Goodbye, tummy - hello, mommy" with a belly cake! Maybe you could change the way the wording appears on the invitation to "Happy BIRTH Day,..." to distinguish it from a regular happy birthday, although since nobody can spell worth beans anymore, some people might not get it!

Shalott Posted 5 Jul 2010 , 3:16am
post #3 of 21

I had never encountered pre-birth baby showers until a couple of years ago. Growing up, all the baby showers I attended took place post-birth. The very few pre-birth baby showers I have been to have all felt oddly incomplete without a cute baby to pass around and gawk over.

All of that was to say that, if the couple wants the shower after the baby's born, saying "Happy birthday" might seem weird. It's still a baby shower -- even more so because now the baby's actually here to be showered!

yamber82 Posted 5 Jul 2010 , 3:33am
post #4 of 21

that's kinda what i was thinking. i really like the belly cake though. so how would i word the invitation to include 2yr old bday party and a meet-the-baby shower? or what are some other things i can call the shower part?

indydebi Posted 5 Jul 2010 , 7:00am
post #5 of 21
Originally Posted by Shalott

I had never encountered pre-birth baby showers until a couple of years ago. Growing up, all the baby showers I attended took place post-birth.

Seriously? the only time a shower was thrown post-birth was if mom went into labor REALLY early and surprised everyone. The thought process is that the shower is to load up the new parents with all the stuff they will need THE DAY THE BABY COMES HOME from the hospital.

Basinets, all the clothes, bottles, playpens, car seats, the baby bed, and back in the day when sterilizers were needed for the bottles ..... all of that stuff HAD to be in-house when the baby came home or the parents were in a real predicament!

Can I ask if we have a big age difference here? I'm 50 so my exposure to baby showers goes back 40+ years (yeah, back in the day when even the little girls were invited and expected to attend the showers!)

hollyml Posted 5 Jul 2010 , 7:30am
post #6 of 21

I suspect more likely a regional or cultural difference. I'm 41 and young enough to think of all-female baby showers as somewhat unusual (it ain't only the mom who's going to be using those diapers!) -- but IME post-birth baby showers are quite a new idea -- too new for anyone to have grown up with that as the norm -- and usually done as more of a shower alternative for 2nd/subsequent babies. Or occasionally under special circumstances such as when the new parents live geographically distant from their hometown and someone throws a party the first time they bring the baby to visit the extended family.

As for the invitation wording, I missed some backstory here...is the 2yo an older sibling of the new baby? You could do something like, "[Name of 2yo] is turning two - and he's now a big brother too! Join us to celebrate a birthday and a BIRTH day with the newly expanded happy family"

Shalott Posted 5 Jul 2010 , 2:20pm
post #7 of 21

Sorry, I missed some back-story too -- I didn't realise there was a toddler involved.

I think when and how the shower is held must be regional. I'm [white Caucasian] from Canada and I grew up in India. My friends and family in both countries have always held the showers after the baby was born. The idea is that then we get to see the baby. People usually come to the hospital with newborn gifts as well to make sure that the parents are set for the first month of so of the baby's life. These showers are almost always all-female.

I'm 26 and have been attending baby showers since I was around 10 years old. I think I've actually only been to one pre-baby shower.

Shalott Posted 5 Jul 2010 , 2:21pm
post #8 of 21

I thought I should add: There's a good possibility that the post-birth shower practice probably dates back to concern that the baby wouldn't make it.

yamber82 Posted 5 Jul 2010 , 3:15pm
post #9 of 21

there must be a lot of cultural differences here. i don't think either way of doing it is "weird" just depends on your area/culture and what you grow up around. and the part about not sure the baby is gonna make it. that's absolutely part of the older traditions. i've even heard some new moms on babycenter.com talking about that.

anyway, in my case, (in case i didn't calrify, this is for my almost 2yrold, and my almost here new baby) i didn't have a shower before because 1) i still have most everything from baby #1 ..2)we don't know the sex ...3) i don't really need anything except diapers and if it's a girl than we'll need clothes etc, which we won't know til afterwards ...4) some fam lives out of town ...5) we're planning a home birth and don't want to be bombarded with visitors right away so i thought a week or so later have a little bbq type thing to introduce the new little one would be a good idea. not EXACTLY a baby shower per se, but i would still love some gifts lol.

i did some googling cuz this is also not really common where i grew up, but neither is out-of-hospital birth or not finding out the sex so i'm the exception lol. but anyway, a lot of people are doing this type of thing and there's an old southern tradition called a "sip-n-see" that's basically a tea party where the host has something to show off, in this case, a new baby.

i was thinking last night and i may just do 2 seperate invitations. i can't figure out any way of combining the invitation. unless yall can give me some ideas icon_smile.gif i don't want to take away from my 2yr olds spot light

Ruth0209 Posted 5 Jul 2010 , 3:18pm
post #10 of 21

If you're combining a birthday party with a shower, I don't know why you'd want to do a pregnant belly cake. That seems entirely inappropriate for a combination event. In what way do you recognize the two-year-old's birthday with that? Even without the birthday aspect, once the baby's born, it doesn't seem like a belly cake fits the occasion. Save it for another shower and do something cute for both kids. I'm sure the new mom doesn't want any reminders of her enormous belly.

Edited to add: I posted before I saw your last post. I guess if you're throwing yourself a baby shower, then you can make whatever cake you want. I think I'd just have a birthday party for your two-year-old, and if people happen to bring something for the baby, that's nice but not the focus.

yamber82 Posted 5 Jul 2010 , 3:19pm
post #11 of 21

oh and as for the cake itself, i like the bye bye tummy hello mommy on there, is there any way of putting the new babies name on there as well or would that be too crowded? ...i may also have to throw in some cuppies to make up for servings so what if i did a few set up around the cake board (not on it, just like behind it or something) with the letters spelling out the name, would that be werid? need ideas!! i really should have started thinking about this a long time ago icon_sad.gif

btw i'm really bummed theses babies bday's are gonna be so close together!

yamber82 Posted 5 Jul 2010 , 3:24pm
post #12 of 21

well it's gonna be mostly adults and i'm setting up two tables separate for each. i wasn't sure if the belly cake would be weird for post birth either, but i love them to death and have reeeally wanted an excuse to make one, lol. not to mention they seem to be probably the quickest easiest type of cake to do. and i'm pretty sure my 2yr old is not gonna give a hoot either way.

carmijok Posted 5 Jul 2010 , 3:31pm
post #13 of 21

You could do a 'before and after' cake. One with the belly and one without. I don't know...it sounds like you're trying to create a party around a cake design! icon_lol.gif

Adevag Posted 5 Jul 2010 , 4:11pm
post #14 of 21

Congratulations on your coming baby!!!
I really like the wording you came up with for your cake, and since it's for you and your son, then you don't have to worry about other people's opinions. Guests will enjoy eating it no matter what the design is, I'm sure.
I think it's smart of you to plan a fairly easy design, if you will be doing this after giving birth. (I would have been too stressed to even think about making a cake after a baby).

Good luck with everything you have coming for you and hope the birth of your baby goes well! (I had a home birth too and really liked it.)

dinascakes Posted 5 Jul 2010 , 4:19pm
post #15 of 21

"[Name of 2yo] is turning two - and he's now a big brother too! Join us to celebrate a birthday and a BIRTH day with the newly expanded happy family"

Personally, I like hollyml's idea above. I would even word my invitation like that, it sounds really cute. Sounds like the focus should really be the birthday and the new arrival. I like belly cakes, but this doesn't sound like the occassion for it. Maybe make a little one on the side to satisfy your want for one. I would make a cake for the 2 yr. old, maybe a little boy holding a baby on top, like he's presenting him/her to the world. That would be really adorable!

yamber82 Posted 5 Jul 2010 , 4:37pm
post #16 of 21

"it sounds like you're trying to create a party around a cake design!"

yea i'm really bad about that lol! i mean how many times you do get to do whatever you want ;p lo is too young to care still anyway icon_smile.gif

thanks for all the tips ladies!

dg10148 Posted 5 Jul 2010 , 5:03pm
post #17 of 21

I will be 54 in 20 more days and I am with indydebi Baby showers were before the baby was born and girls only no couples and more times than not they didn't know what the baby was going to be so you bought clothes in yellow or light green.
Our family is just now starting to have a new pregnancies so I will have to see how they are going to do there showers. I really don't care I just love a party.

hollyml Posted 6 Jul 2010 , 10:24pm
post #18 of 21

Okay, you're not giving a shower. (Which you can't do for yourself anyway -- trust me, it's safer to not call it a shower in any way!) You're giving a meet-the-baby party, aka baby welcoming. Which you happen to also be combining with your son's birthday, which, at 2yo, is fine I'm sure. icon_smile.gif I think I would do two separate cakes, though, rather than calling the belly cake a 2yo's birthday cake...or since you say you may need additional cupcakes anyway, how about doing the belly cake for your own pleasure, and then traditional child's birthday style cupcakes for the 2yo? I wouldn't worry about including the baby's name in the cake design...it seems forced, especially for a belly cake. You might do a party banner or similar (non-edible!) decoration that says something like "Happy Birthday [son's name] and Happy BIRTH Day [baby's name]!"

Don't worry, people will bring baby gifts. icon_smile.gif But I wonder, are you really going to be up for throwing your own party, not to mention making your own cake, within a few weeks of giving birth? In your place I would rather recruit a friend or relative to host the party, because while I *might* be up to doing it myself, I also might not. What if you have birth complications or feeding problems or similar issues, or are just really sleep-deprived? Just saying you might want to think twice about it!

yamber82 Posted 7 Jul 2010 , 1:28am
post #19 of 21

my mil is helping me. i think it would be more comfortable to do it in my own house which btw we just bougth and it's kidna a house warming ont op of everything else lol. i just may go crazy in the end ;p but i am hoping to do a car cake for lo and if i can the belly cake just because i really like them and have always wanted to make one. so that would be two cakes. if i just can't find the energy to do it i have no problem running to the bakery and buying one, i'm sure everybody will understand, but i hate spending that much on crap cake imo. i looked at them at the store today and they look like poop. if i bought 2 cakes, the smallest they sell of each, that's still like 30-40bucks. not cool.

anyway, so all the belly cakes i hear about are the wilton ball pan for the belly and that seems really small so that's why i was thinking of just throwing in some super simple cupcakes to make up for serving.

the other side of the table will be lo's car cake stuff. i'm going to try to bake and carve and blah blah everything i can beforehand and freeze it so i can just pop it out and cover in fondant. honestly the decorations for the disney car look pretty simple if i don't go all out. i do my boards with craft paper and cover in contact paper so those will be done ahead too.

last year i did lo's party (went waaay overboard with everything) at my sil's house and that was sucky bringing it all there and her grandpa was taking a nap in the living room when i was coming in to decorate and it was just bad bad bad. i like being able to set up the night before or whenever and not having to worry about it the last minute.

Kitagrl Posted 7 Jul 2010 , 1:56am
post #20 of 21

Could you do the preggo belly cake (a small one like on top of a sheet or round cake) and then use the first impressions baby mold to have a sleeping baby lying on the tummy? (So tummy would have to be to scale of the mold baby)

I mean seriously, after you have a baby, you still have a tummy, and usually there's a baby lying on it at one point or other!!!!

hollyml Posted 7 Jul 2010 , 6:26am
post #21 of 21

ITA about having parties in your own house. I know a lot of people like to do b-day parties in a gym or wherever because then they don't have a mess at home, but for me it would be waaaaaay more work to bring all the decorations etc. somewhere else and have to set them up fast, and take them down fast the same day. But anyway, just because the party is at your house doesn't necessarily mean you are the host, so I am definitely not saying you shouldn't do it at your house. Just that you might end up not wanting to deal with everything else that goes along with entertaining when you are coping with a newborn and a toddler and recovering from a birth -- it's exhausting, or was for me anyway! So it's good that you have help! (Your MIL will be coming in to decorate while you are taking a nap in the living room... icon_wink.gif)

Anyway, if you think you need extra cupcakes I'd say keep it simple. In fact, if you make a ton of cupcakes ahead of time and freeze them, then if you end up not having the time or energy to do your car cake and belly cake, you can just serve the cupcakes! And if you do one or both of the cakes but need more servings, you just pull out fewer of the cupcakes. A last-minute swirl of frosting and some sprinkles is quick and easy but festive.


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