Why Don't People Listen When You Say No?

Decorating By sweettreat101 Updated 1 Aug 2010 , 2:54am by susieqhomemaker

sweettreat101 Posted 1 Jul 2010 , 7:53am
post #1 of 32

A lady I work with called and asked me to make a two tiered wedding cake for this Saturday knowing that I have to work the next two days. When I told her that she didn't give me enough notice she replied the cake is really simple. Then she shows up at my work with a picture. Mind you I already told her no. The cake is covered in fondant with piping work all around the two tiers. At this point I try to explain that I don't have enough time to bake the cakes and work. For some reason she thinks I only have to bake two layers. I try to explain that I actually have to bake four for a two tier cake. She kept telling me no two. So I fold the picture in half and say you only want one cake then. She replies no two. I was so flustered by this point. Then she tells me to call her tomorrow and left. What part of no don't you understand. She also tried to make me feel bad for not wanting to make the cake. She told me that they would just buy a sheet cake at a grocery store If I couldn't make the cake. Who waits two days before a wedding to order a wedding cake? UGH!

31 replies
tinygoose Posted 1 Jul 2010 , 8:13am
post #2 of 32

Lol...good for you for sticking to your guns. I've had so many people tell me they just need a "really simple, easy, not difficult" 3 tier wedding cake. Lol...they have no clue what they are asking.

"I'm looking for a 3 tier topsy turvy for 12 people, delivered, and I don't want to spend more than $100...lol."

"I just need a cake in the shape of a motor cycle, it doesn't have to be fancy or big or anything, but it has to be blue and in the shape of a motorcycle for this Saturday."

They are all the same type of customer. You just have to keep saying no, smile, and walk away, they will never get it.

indydebi Posted 1 Jul 2010 , 11:29am
post #3 of 32

"Oh, well, if it's that simple, you should have no problem. Walmart .... Aisle 8 .... knock yourself out."

And I'm sorry, but some people DO have to be hit in the head with a brick.

"Just what part of 'No I'm not doing this cake' do you not understand?"

and

"Everyone who has actually MADE a wedding cake and actually KNOWS whats involved with it, raise your hand!" (then as I'm standing there as the only person with a raised hand ..... ) "I thought so." icon_twisted.gif (Yeah .... I HAVE actually had this conversation!)

KHalstead Posted 1 Jul 2010 , 11:59am
post #4 of 32

Those are the people that I quote a triple price to, and tell them THAT is the price for short notice......then SHE will be the one telling YOU no, and if she says YES, then you've just made it worth your while!

sullymel13 Posted 1 Jul 2010 , 12:29pm
post #5 of 32

I had a similar situation happen to me. A friend asked me if I could make a quincenera cake similar to a wedding cake. It was a Tuesday night, and she wanted it for Saturday, and I work full time, and I was trying to finish a graduate school class. I must of looked at her like she was crazy! People must think we can just spit these cakes out like nothing... I am still fairly new, so my cakes take forever! I didn't feel guilty one bit, and hope you don't either. Hopefully she comes to her senses and understands that no really means no!

LindaF144a Posted 1 Jul 2010 , 12:33pm
post #6 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi



And I'm sorry, but some people DO have to be hit in the head with a brick.




OMG, so true. Stand your ground and do not let her get away with this. Obviously it has worked before.

I have two sisters like this. One you have to spell it out exactly what you are saying, no being polite with the language. I cringe inside when I am brutal to her, but otherwise she just does not get it. The second sister loves to play the guilt trip. The last time I spoke to her, after 10 years of not speaking to her, she calls out of the blue wanting money! And when I had the nerve to say no, she asked me what she was supposed to do then. It is not my problem. Nor is this lady's lack of a cake your problem either. Do not let her get under your skin.

Good luck!

JohnnyCakes1966 Posted 1 Jul 2010 , 1:03pm
post #7 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by sweettreat101

Who waits two days before a wedding to order a wedding cake?




Someone who is perfectly fine having a grocery store sheet cake at their wedding, that's who. And if that's what a person wants, great! Nothing wrong with a sheet cake. But in that case, like Debi said, "Walmart....Aisle 8....Knock yourself out!"

I also agree with KHalstead: 2 days notice = triple price, at least! And that's IF you have the time.

Elcee Posted 1 Jul 2010 , 1:20pm
post #8 of 32

I've learned this the hard way icon_smile.gif but I really think there are people who can sense when it's hard for you to say no. They are attuned to that little space they think they can work their way into by badgering. I once did a wedding cake for free because of this. I was unprepared. One thing I have done is practice my response, which for me is: "I don't sell cakes." I no longer give reasons because there are certain people who will try to talk you out of whatever reasons you give. Oh, it's against the law for you to sell me a cake? Well I won't tell anyone. For you it could be I don't make cakes without a 2 week (or whatever) notice. That would stop some of the Oh, it's not enough notice? but it's just a small cake. There's still always a few, though who will keep asking.

Kitagrl Posted 1 Jul 2010 , 1:20pm
post #9 of 32

Two days before a wedding to order cake? WHATEVER!!!! What's that saying about lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.....

Indy, I would so NEVER want to be on your bad side...but it sure would be fun to tag along behind you and listen to your conversations. haha.

cutthecake Posted 1 Jul 2010 , 1:25pm
post #10 of 32

I call it Reality TV Syndrome....Bad behavior is rewarded on those shows, and people get what they want by being insufferable. Those people are spoiled children, who just don't want to take "NO" for an answer.

Kitagrl Posted 1 Jul 2010 , 1:28pm
post #11 of 32

I guess its so common anymore, people think they have to have their own way.

I saw it in a small way at Walmart (you see crazy things there!) the other day...I was in a closed line as the last person. Woman came up behind me and checker said "I'm closed, sorry". I finished checking out and the woman didn't leave. Checker says again "Sorry, I'm closed."

Lady said "Ohhh...can you just check the price of this one thing real quick?" Checker relents and checks the price. Customer goes in for the kill, insists that she only has "these two items and please can he check her out" so he goes ahead and does it since he already stood there and checked the price anyway.

I soooo wanted to send a smart remark to her selfish little smug body standing there uncaring that she was probably taking up an old guy's lunchtime.... but I'm not brave like Indy. icon_smile.gif

Katiebelle74 Posted 1 Jul 2010 , 1:41pm
post #12 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitagrl

Two days before a wedding to order cake? WHATEVER!!!! What's that saying about lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.....




AMEN to that. All too tempting to frame and hang on the wall LOL!!!

I have NO problem telling people that since all my cakes are scratch made and I shop for the FRESH ingredients myself it requires ______ notice for that cake and if you need one that fast you should really go over to _____ where the premade cakes are shipped in on a truck along with the already made bucket o'icing, sitting there ready so they have the ability to slap one together that quick for ya!

Katiebelle74 Posted 1 Jul 2010 , 1:46pm
post #13 of 32

and I have actually gotten annoyed enough that I said it just like that!!! Bad I know but it made them stop and say "oh that's why they can do it?" Yes, and I'm sure they'll be happy to help you out, they are set up for just this sort of thing.

TexasSugar Posted 1 Jul 2010 , 2:23pm
post #14 of 32

She thought if she kept asking you would give in. Plain and simple. Even more so when she brought up the store bought cake. Chances are she would have wanted your cake for a store bought price on top of that.

I see it all the time people thing if they keep asking you something you will just finally say yes. Unfortunetly for them, the more you try to push me to do something the more I want to not do it, just to piss them off.

cookieelf Posted 1 Jul 2010 , 2:36pm
post #15 of 32

I unfortunately had to have an argument along this same lines with my aunt. We are not doing a family wide 4th of July celebration (another huge long story) so she is trying to convince me to do my cousin & his girlfriend a joint birthday cake on the 4th because he is leaving on the 12th for military training for a couple of months and won't be in town for their end of the month birthdays. I told her no. No, absolutely not I won't be home on the 4th and you will have to wait until the next weekend when it makes more sense to even have something. Well she called me at work yesterday telling me to go ahead and make the cake in case we do something for the 4th (What part of we aren't isn't she getting) and then says and I quote "If we decide last minute not to do anything you can just freeze it." Huh? We aren't doing anything on the 4th, I am not doing a cake for you on the 4th, if you want one go to Wal-Mart, and no I can't just "freeze it" because you are wanting a cake with an edible image on it. Hello???

Sucrea Posted 1 Jul 2010 , 2:37pm
post #16 of 32

I so feel for you because I have the worst time saying no! Sometimes my husband could kill me for all the volunteering I do! I have been learning though! So just make sure that you keep to your guns and don't stress yourself out by doing the cake. If they can wait for a few days before the wedding to get a cake, they can improvise! A florist isn't going to do all of the flowers in that short of notice so why should you kill yourself making this cake? By the way, I think that the grocery store bakery requires more than 2 days for a wedding cake!

j_arney Posted 1 Jul 2010 , 2:53pm
post #17 of 32

I'm still fairly new to decorating, so I can't do anything too elaborate. I have a friend who was getting married say, "oh, I just want something simple. You know the one from the Cake Boss....". She wanted the one he made for Brides magazine. First of all, ANYTHING he makes is not simple. And one he made for Brides magazine, DEFINITELY not simple. When I quoted her $500 for a 5 tier cake (a bargain, I know), she tried to haggle with me. I told her that I wasn't making a cent on this cake. I was just charging her for ingredients AND I would be taking 2 days off work to get it done. I didn't even get a call back. It was very awkward when I eventually had to go to the wedding.

StacyR Posted 1 Jul 2010 , 2:57pm
post #18 of 32

I used to feel guilty and squeeze in anyone who called with a last minute order. When a good friend shook some sense into me, I started telling people that I was fully booked and they could trust when they had a date reserved, I would protect their time as well. Within 2 months of doing that, I've retrained people to book months in advance, even for birthdays. It's so funny to me now that when people call and I have a date available, they act like they won a prize. I'm not even as good as you guys! It's all psychological! Make yourself exclusive and people will treat you that way. Do last minute orders and you train them to never book early.

kimmisue2009 Posted 1 Jul 2010 , 2:58pm
post #19 of 32

Some people simply mistake kindness for weakness and have no trouble capitalizing on the kindness of people who would literally skin themselves alive to make a coat for a cold person. I am one of those, but have learned that bleeding for some people only leaves you bloody and the sharks will just be circling waiting for the next time that you can rescue them. Let 'em go without something just once because they don't believe your "no" - that will break most 'em from it.

Kitagrl Posted 1 Jul 2010 , 4:04pm
post #20 of 32

Sometimes the simplest cakes are the most painstaking because there's so much less room for error.

indydebi Posted 1 Jul 2010 , 4:51pm
post #21 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by j_arney

"oh, I just want something simple. You know the one from the ....".


I HAVE told brides, "I'm sorry ..... you're not allowed to describe any wedding cake as simple unless you've actually made one." icon_biggrin.gif

Then I'd go into my schpeel about "not putting on a border is NOT simpler .... it's more work. A 'simple' stacked cake with no pillars is more work ..... a cake you saw on the Food Network Cake Challenge is not simple...."

michel30014 Posted 1 Jul 2010 , 5:12pm
post #22 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi

Quote:
Originally Posted by j_arney

"oh, I just want something simple. You know the one from the ....".

I HAVE told brides, "I'm sorry ..... you're not allowed to describe any wedding cake as simple unless you've actually made one." icon_biggrin.gif

Then I'd go into my schpeel about "not putting on a border is NOT simpler .... it's more work. A 'simple' stacked cake with no pillars is more work ..... a cake you saw on the Food Network Cake Challenge is not simple...."




Amen to that, indydebi!!! I love reading your posts, btw!! lol icon_biggrin.gif

mindydaile Posted 1 Jul 2010 , 5:22pm
post #23 of 32

I really do think the shows like "Food Network Challenge" and "Cake Boss" and the like have made this worse. They see these cakes being made in a short period of time (FNC) or edited down to 30 minutes (CB and AoC) and think that they are seeing the whole process for making a cake. So two days should be plenty of time! After all you can slap one together in 30 minutes! icon_rolleyes.gif

tesso Posted 1 Jul 2010 , 5:28pm
post #24 of 32

been there done that.. still doing it. Had a post a few days ago where i propsed either shooting the MOB or tasing her!! I have told her no over 10 times !!! Good luck and i say taser her !!

cakeblocker Posted 30 Jul 2010 , 4:54pm
post #25 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by kimmisue2009

Some people simply mistake kindness for weakness and have no trouble capitalizing on the kindness of people who would literally skin themselves alive to make a coat for a cold person. I am one of those, but have learned that bleeding for some people only leaves you bloody and the sharks will just be circling waiting for the next time that you can rescue them. Let 'em go without something just once because they don't believe your "no" - that will break most 'em from it.




Why would you want to skin yourself alive for a cold person? Why don't you just let them borrow your jacket? I don't get it.

gscout73 Posted 30 Jul 2010 , 5:10pm
post #26 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by cutthecake

I call it Reality TV Syndrome....Bad behavior is rewarded on those shows, and people get what they want by being insufferable. Those people are spoiled children, who just don't want to take "NO" for an answer.




That's it exactly!! Cake Muggles are so acustomed to watching a show piece be constructed in a one hour show and they're not seeing that the cakes are already baked and many of the decorations already made and the other 7+ hours of work. tapedshut.gif

Sandy

gscout73 Posted 30 Jul 2010 , 5:12pm
post #27 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by cakeblocker

Quote:
Originally Posted by kimmisue2009

Some people simply mistake kindness for weakness and have no trouble capitalizing on the kindness of people who would literally skin themselves alive to make a coat for a cold person. I am one of those, but have learned that bleeding for some people only leaves you bloody and the sharks will just be circling waiting for the next time that you can rescue them. Let 'em go without something just once because they don't believe your "no" - that will break most 'em from it.



Why would you want to skin yourself alive for a cold person? Why don't you just let them borrow your jacket? I don't get it.




Extra layer of protection... extra mile... going far above and beyond.. I understood thumbs_up.gif

Sandy

DoubleA Posted 30 Jul 2010 , 5:18pm
post #28 of 32

What about the DOCTOR that asks me a week ago if I could make her kids birthday cake...Sure, when? Aug 6. Ok, that gives me two weeks, BUT...wanted 2 hats one like Woody's and the other like Jessie's in TS3. Also 1 doz cuppies to match, and another doz cuppies, 6 like SuperWhy's mask and the other 6 for her 3 yo duaghter, but she hadn't decided on the design yet. Then when I price it out as $35.00/doz for the cuppies and $160.00 for both cowboy hats....Oh no!, That's just too much to justify for a kid's party! AAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

bethola Posted 30 Jul 2010 , 5:26pm
post #29 of 32

Our Walmart Bakery is open until 9 PM! Good luck with that!

bethola Posted 30 Jul 2010 , 5:30pm
post #30 of 32

Had a FACEBOOK request a couple of months ago. For a Toy Story 3 Cake. "Simple, just the BED, with Woody and Buzz Lightyear on it". Yeah, gave me one week notice. NOW, I don't do many cakes anymore d/t family responsibilities. But, even before that decision MY requirement is MINIMUM 2 weeks for a sheet cake. I WORK PEOPLE!

So, I tell her No, blah blah blah. But, it will be simple. No, but thank you for thinking of me. Are you sure you can't? Yes, but, thank you for thinking of me. All this on FB posts! UGH! Good thing she wasn't in front of me.....I HAVE some loose bricks at my house! LOLOL

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