Should I Be Offended, I Think I Should!!!!!!

Decorating By happigolucki35 Updated 17 Jun 2010 , 4:06am by happigolucki35

happigolucki35 Posted 16 Jun 2010 , 11:42pm
post #1 of 39

I am a home baker and I hold my tasting at the local coffee shop, I had a wedding consultation/tasting today with a couple, whom by the way is getting married in less than 60 days. The bride asked me "Are the cakes on your website, cakes you've made or did you just swipe them from somewhere". I was very offended by this statement, I remained a Christian and assured her that I had made the cakes.
I could not get this out of my head for the rest of the consultation. If you have to question someone's integrity, why would you want them to make your wedding cake. I thought she was rude. Am I over reacting?

38 replies
Kellbella Posted 16 Jun 2010 , 11:55pm
post #2 of 39

icon_surprised.gificon_surprised.gif Wow...I can't believe she said that! I think you handled it very well...I would have had to tell her she had some nerve to ask such a question!

JohnnyCakes1966 Posted 17 Jun 2010 , 12:02am
post #3 of 39

Yep, you're over-reacting. icon_biggrin.gificon_wink.gif It seems to be common for people to swipe pictures from the Internet and claim to have done the work themselves. The bride doesn't know you so you can't take it personally. She's interviewing you for this important role in her wedding just like you would a doctor before letting them perform surgery. She wanted to make sure you can deliver the cake you are showing her.

sberryp Posted 17 Jun 2010 , 12:05am
post #4 of 39

I agree with Jonny cakes 1966. A lot of people do take pictures and I believe that it happen to me on my wedding day. I think the lady who made my cake took pictures from other people because the cake tasted great but looked ok not like the cakes on her website.

-K8memphis Posted 17 Jun 2010 , 12:10am
post #5 of 39

I think it's ok to confirm "Are these all your cakes?"
But I think it's over the line to say "Did you swipe these?"

dreamcakesmom Posted 17 Jun 2010 , 12:13am
post #6 of 39

Part of the consult is for the bride to get a chance to interview you and what you can do for her. Her wording was poor but I think it's fair for a bride to ask if all the work you show is your own.

-K8memphis Posted 17 Jun 2010 , 12:14am
post #7 of 39

And in fact, I'd have said, "Excuse me?" & if they didn't take it back
or smooth it over or amend what they said--I'd close the consult.
Mmmbubye!

3GCakes Posted 17 Jun 2010 , 12:17am
post #8 of 39

I think I'd be offended, knowing they were mine....but being offended doesn't mean losing your cool, or your sense of humor.

It's probably a questions faced more and more in this day and age. You weren't ready for it this time, but next time I bet you'll have a response ready that not only dispels the myth, but sells the cake.

JohnnyCakes1966 Posted 17 Jun 2010 , 12:25am
post #9 of 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by RoccosMom

And in fact, I'd have said, "Excuse me?" & if they didn't take it back
or smooth it over or amend what they said--I'd close the consult.
Mmmbubye!




Really? I guess it would depend on her tone when she asked it, but I don't think I'd be offended. She might have had a previous consult with another caker who DID swipe photos and just wanted to make sure. I would have just laughed it off and said, "Yep, and I've got the scars to prove it" or something silly. Now, if she argued with me or seemed to not believe me, that would be another story! But I would take no offense just from her asking the question.

BlakesCakes Posted 17 Jun 2010 , 12:25am
post #10 of 39

What a classless, rude broad.............. icon_eek.gif And no, it wasn't ME in disguise icon_lol.gif

I agree, I'd have probably said, "Excuse me?" and if she didn't squirm a bit and back pedaled, I'd have probably been booked.

There's a right way and a wrong way to ask a question, especially about another person's integrity--and THAT was the WRONG way.....

If my "filter" had been out for servicing, I most likely would have whispered, "Yep. Stole every one of those images. Never made a cake without stars piped on it or more than 2 inches tall in my entire life, but, hey, you gotta' start somewhere, right? Why NOT with YOUR WEDDING CAKE? Now, how high are we goin' with this puppy? The sky's the limit, baby!!!! icon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gif

Rae

weirkd Posted 17 Jun 2010 , 12:42am
post #11 of 39

I believe it was poor wording on her part. I think she needs a class in tact. But hardle yourself professionally and just say "Yes, this work is my own. I dont believe in misrepresenting myself". And leave it at that.
Over reaching? No, I think I would of been thrown off too if someone said it to me that way. And if you did post pictures of other peoples work, you probably would lie to the bride and say it was anyways! If your THAT dishonest to do something like that and not atleast put "These are examples by so-so (with their permission ofcourse) of things I can do." But personally, if I wanted to show an example of something and have it on my website, I would recreate it myself in the first place!!

-K8memphis Posted 17 Jun 2010 , 12:47am
post #12 of 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by weirkd

I believe it was poor wording on her part. I think she needs a class in tact. But hardle yourself professionally and just say "Yes, this work is my own. I dont believe in misrepresenting myself". And leave it at that.
Over reaching? No, I think I would of been thrown off too if someone said it to me that way.
And if you did post pictures of other peoples work, you probably would lie to the bride and say it was anyways! If your THAT dishonest to do something like that and not atleast put "These are examples by so-so (with their permission ofcourse) of things I can do." But personally, if I wanted to show an example of something and have it on my website, I would recreate it myself in the first place!!




What do you mean? I'm not understanding this part.

oceanslayer Posted 17 Jun 2010 , 12:49am
post #13 of 39

I think life's too short to over-analyze what people say. Sometimes people say things that sound worse than what they mean. And if you have to ask if you should be offended then the answer is probably "no".

idocakes4fun Posted 17 Jun 2010 , 12:55am
post #14 of 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlakesCakes


If my "filter" had been out for servicing, I most likely would have whispered, "Yep. Stole every one of those images. Never made a cake without stars piped on it or more than 2 inches tall in my entire life, but, hey, you gotta' start somewhere, right? Why NOT with YOUR WEDDING CAKE? Now, how high are we goin' with this puppy? The sky's the limit, baby!!!! icon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gif

Rae




ROTF!

leah_s Posted 17 Jun 2010 , 1:02am
post #15 of 39

Nah, I wouldn't be offended. It's a common problem these days. It may have been worded tactlessly, but it's a legit question. I've had brides ask me if ALL these pictures are mine. I answer, "Of course! Why on earth would I show you pictures of someone else's cakes?" In an incredulous tone of voice.

kellertur Posted 17 Jun 2010 , 1:06am
post #16 of 39

I'm sorry if they implied the photos might not be your's...that came across rather rude. Your work is obviously good if she's interested in you in the first place. icon_smile.gif

What exactly does "remained a Christian" mean? icon_confused.gif I'm not Christian, but I am spiritual/religious... I guess that statement confused me a bit.

JohnnyCakes1966 Posted 17 Jun 2010 , 1:14am
post #17 of 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by bunnywigglesworth

What exactly does "remained a Christian" mean? icon_confused.gif




It means she didn't cuss the bride out! icon_lol.giftapedshut.gif

costumeczar Posted 17 Jun 2010 , 1:15am
post #18 of 39

You're overreacting. I tell brides to ask if the pictures they're being shown are the work of the baker, or if they came from other places. You'd be surprised at how many people have photos from other people on their websites, including pictures from books. I had one couple recently tell met that they'd been to a tasting where the woman had pictures torn from magazines in her album, and pictures that were printed off the computer. They also said that it was pretty obvious which ones were her own cakes, since there was a huge quality difference between those and the ones she'd taken from other people.

If she'd asked me that I probably would have thought it was funny, since I think the word "swipe" is amusing. I also would have told her what I tell other people who ask if I've made all of the cakes in my albums, which is that they're smart to ask.

Jenn2179 Posted 17 Jun 2010 , 1:19am
post #19 of 39

I have been asked many times if the cakes on my website were my work. I don't get offended by it. I just say of course they are I only put my work on my website.

indydebi Posted 17 Jun 2010 , 1:24am
post #20 of 39

At one time, I would have thought it an odd question because in my head "who uses pictures they didn't make?" icon_confused.gif

I would get so mad at hubby when he'd make a point to tell people "Every photo on her website is food/cake that she's actually made." I'd be exasperated because "why the heck are you 'defending' me in something that no body does!?" I thought that by pointing it out, it was sounding like he "protests too much". I NEVER imagined anyone doing it any other way.

Then I started coming across catering, cake and other sites that DID use canned photos and I understood.

It's a legit question.

JohnnyCakes1966 Posted 17 Jun 2010 , 1:29am
post #21 of 39

Jenn, I just checked out your website. Beautiful, beautiful work! thumbs_up.gif

kellertur Posted 17 Jun 2010 , 1:33am
post #22 of 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by costumeczar


If she'd asked me that I probably would have thought it was funny, since I think the word "swipe" is amusing.




SWIPE! icon_lol.gif Swiper the fox...he's pretty hilarious! Personally, I LOVE the word... YOINK!

JohnnyCakes1966 Posted 17 Jun 2010 , 1:38am
post #23 of 39

Debi, how the heck DID you get almost 25,000 posts on here? icon_confused.gificon_confused.gif I feel like I run my mouth and I STILL only have 200! icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_wink.gif

Kitagrl Posted 17 Jun 2010 , 1:45am
post #24 of 39

I think it could have been said much nicer...she sounded pretty rude about it. But I've had similar doubts from clients...they say "Will my cake look just like the one on your website?" Which is alot nicer way to ask the same question. haha.

Creativebakes Posted 17 Jun 2010 , 1:54am
post #25 of 39

From your point of view its only natural to get offended but you have to see it from her point of people. People do misrepresent other peoples work as their own

indydebi Posted 17 Jun 2010 , 1:57am
post #26 of 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnnyCakes1966

Debi, how the heck DID you get almost 25,000 posts on here? icon_confused.gificon_confused.gif I feel like I run my mouth and I STILL only have 200! icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_wink.gif


Oh I just think EVERYONE is entitled to my opinion!! icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

kansaslaura Posted 17 Jun 2010 , 2:15am
post #27 of 39

It's a reasonable question just a dunderheaded no class way of asking. I'd have probably become suddenly busy.... my tolerance is at an alllll time low at the moment!

Karen421 Posted 17 Jun 2010 , 2:22am
post #28 of 39

Itâs called tact (discretion: an intuitive sense of what is right or appropriate) and it is a dying art these days! The Bride could have used a little!

costumeczar Posted 17 Jun 2010 , 2:28am
post #29 of 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by bunnywigglesworth

Quote:
Originally Posted by costumeczar


If she'd asked me that I probably would have thought it was funny, since I think the word "swipe" is amusing.



SWIPE! icon_lol.gif Swiper the fox...he's pretty hilarious! Personally, I LOVE the word... YOINK!




He was my favorite character on Dora... I love the word "swipe", Oh, did I say that already? icon_wink.gif

kellertur Posted 17 Jun 2010 , 2:37am
post #30 of 39

YOINK! icon_lol.gif (ok, I'm done...)

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